Making a name for himself with acclaimed roles like Major Cedric Daniels on The Wire and Detective John Basil on Oz was not something Lance Reddick had originally planned. Reddick had always hoped to make it big as a musician, but turned to acting as a way to make a living. He recently decided to return to his first love and is currently working on a new album, while still filming season four of The Wire. Reddick recently took some time out of his busy schedule to talk to us.

What was it like attending the Quaker High School of Friends School? How was it different than your average public school?

One of the big differences was that the academic curriculum was a little more advanced than the average public school – at least in Baltimore. It was also predominately white at the time. I have since been back and it is much more integrated.

Also, even though Quakerism wasn’t taught in the school, we were exposed to it. I don’t know if you know anything about the Quakers, but we went to something called “meaningful worship” once a week. I don’t know a lot about the history of the Quakers, but they always had a history of political activism. From their inception, they were anti-slavery. They believed that each person had a right to their own private relationship with God. So, there are no ministers in Quakerism. A Quaker meeting service, basically people just sit in silence and whenever someone feels moved by the spirit, they stand up and share whatever they feel moved to share. And also, Quakers are traditionally pacifists.

Did their pacifism come through in the discipline at the school?

No. The students were typical teenagers. We still had a football team and a lacrosse team. Guys still got into fights. The place where it came through was whenever there were political issues. They would have speakers come in and talk to students before classes started.

How did you get into acting? How old were you when you started and how did you decide this is what you wanted to do?

Even though I have an older brother, he’s much older than I am, so I essentially grew up as an only child in the 70s. I grew up addicted to television. When I was very small, I’d do a lot of playing by myself. So, I feel like that was always in me, but its not something I ever grew up wanting to be. I grew up wanting to be a musician my whole life. The first time I ever acted, believe it or not, was in an English class in seventh grade. We were studying Macbeth and we had to pick a scene from it and act it out. I did the famous soliloquy where he is debating with himself whether or not to kill the king. It was the coolest experience. I felt like I became him.

The first time the general public had a chance to see your work was on the show Oz. How did you land the role of Detective John Basil?

It’s funny because I had never seen the show when I did it. I had been hearing so much about it – it was one of those shows that everybody wanted to do in New York. My agent pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed because he heard this role was perfect for me and I got put on tape and I was cast from the tape. So I actually never met Tom Fontana or any of the producers before I started shooting the show.

What was it like working on that show?

It was phenomenal. I felt like I was doing a film role. Up to that point, I felt like it was the best group of actors I had ever worked with and the best writing I had worked with, at least on television.

From there, you went on to work on The Wire. How many times did you audition for the show before landing the role of Cedric Daniels?

I auditioned four times and the first three times it wasn’t even for Daniels. Originally, I went in for Bunk. I read for that role three times. The third time I read for it was for David Simon and he asked me to read Bubbles on the spot – cold. Then I was told a week later I was second choice for Bubbles. And then a week after that, they called me in for Daniels because they had a hard time casting Daniels and they were looking for a name for that role.

When did you finally find out that you got the role?

It was over two weeks after I auditioned. It was after they had told my agent I didn’t get it. I still don’t know what happened. I thought it was a dead issue when I got the call. Literally, I thought I was dreaming. It’s the only time in my life I really wondered, “Am I dreaming this?” Because, it was like my life changed after that.

You grew up in Baltimore. What is it like filming The Wire in your hometown? Does it mean more to you working so close to home?

When I’m in Baltimore, it’s almost like being a movie star. You have people you haven’t heard from since high school, junior high, even elementary school, calling you out of the blue. My first season, I was asked to speak at the graduation of my high school. The other thing that’s cool about it is – I feel like I’m learning about the political history of the city by doing this show.

Do you feel the show accurately portrays Baltimore?

The part of Baltimore that it’s seeking to portray, yes.

What has the response been like from Baltimore police officers?

Honestly, I get responses from police officers everywhere. I’ve never done any show that cops respond to more. And it’s always positive. More than once, I’ve had cops say, “That show is so real, it’s scary.”

Does it ever get you out of speeding tickets or anything like that?

(Laughs.) No. Matter of fact, for the pilot, I was on my way to a cast reading and I got a speeding ticket.

The fourth season of The Wire is in production now. Where do you see the character of Cedric Daniels going next season?

I don’t know much about my character. What I do know is that, after my promotion, I’m not going to be as connected to the day-to-day of the unit. With the promotion, I’m actually in charge of a whole district now. But, the wiretap unit is still my baby. For me, it’s going to be a lot of dealing with politics. The politics of trying to keep the unit running the way I want it run and being a buffer between the unit and the higher ups. I know there is going to be some friction between me and the new lieutenant who takes over for me. I also know that I’m going to be somewhat involved in Baltimore politics because my wife is running for city council. The whole issue of us being separated and me now being more open with the district attorney – it’s going to cause a lot of conflict that I’m going to have to deal with.

You originally got into acting as a way to support your musical ambitions. When did you first discover your passion for music?

I stared writing songs when I was seven. I started playing the piano when I was eight. Growing up, I always thought I was going to be a musician. My first year at college, I was a physics major and that had more to do with getting cold feet about being a musician. I went to the University of Rochester. The Eastman School of Music, even though it’s a famous school by itself, is technically part of the University of Rochester, which is a lot of the reason why I went there. I went to a concert in October of my first year at the university when I was studying physics and I thought, “You know what? I made a mistake. I need to come here.” So, I applied for a transfer.

What were your biggest musical influences growing up?

When I was a kid, I was really into pop music. Even though I studied classical music my whole life, I was really into pop music and I was really into bold ballads. My favorite singers were Nat King Cole and Johnny Mathis. I would just listen to their stuff over and over again and imitate their singing, their styles and the way they phrased.

After having such success as an actor, what made you decide to rekindle your music career?

About five or six years ago, I was singing this song I started writing when I was 25 years old. From time to time over the years, I’d sing these songs that I had written that I never recorded. And one day my daughter said to me, she was about 11 years old at the time, “Dad you should do something with that.”

I said to her, “It’s too late. I’m too old.”

And she said, “I don’t know, Dad. I think that’s an excuse.” She didn’t say anything else. She just walked away. The way she said it and the timing, I was just left with, “Wow.” So, I just started thinking about it a lot. And, I just decided to start trying to write again and it was really hard at first. It’s still hard. One of the things I had never gotten over was my fear of the empty page. The first thing I had to do was try to discipline myself to try to write something every day, even if I threw it out. And eventually, I picked up some old songs and I finished them. Then, I just started writing new stuff. After a few years, I decided I wanted to do a song writing demo. That turned into – maybe I should try an album. That’s where I am right now.

Is there a release date yet for your album?

No, there isn’t. The plan right now is to finish recording in Baltimore. The guy who does the promotion for and supervises the production for George Clinton is going to be producing the album. Ironically enough, he’s from Baltimore. So we are going to be doing the album while I’m shooting this season.

We have a tough question for you. Do you consider yourself a songwriter who acts or an actor who writes songs? If you had to choose between the two, which would you pick?

It’s tricky because acting is how I made my living for so long, but music was my training for so much longer than that. Honestly, I would say I am an actor and a songwriter.

What do you do to unwind? What kind of hobbies do you have?

I like to read and I like movies. I’ve never been much of a club person. I hate to say this because I’m an actor and I’m in the entertainment industry, but I’m not a real people person. I like quiet evenings. Mostly, I like to read.

Tell us something not many people know about you.

I’m really goofy. I’ve had a hard time getting an opportunity to do any comedy since I started doing a lot of television because what I’ve become known for is intense dramatic character acting.

We’ve got one last thing for you here. We are going to do a word association. We’ll just throw out a name and tell us the first thing that comes to your mind.

Major Cedric Daniels.

Serious. Intense. Committed.

The city of Baltimore.

Many faceted.

David Simon.

Genius.

Lance Reddick.

Multi-talented.

The future.

Wide open.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, October 2005. Lance Reddick is up for one of the adult leads in Kaffir Boy: The True Story of Black Youths Coming of Age in Apartheid South Africa, a new film that is being adapted from the Mark Mathabane bestseller. He is also being wooded to co-star with Susan Sarandon and Rafe Fiennes in a new film. His album, Black and White, will be available on his website. The fourth season of The Wire is filming now.

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Carrie Nations

Ashley Layne was called “Meatloaf” for a month in 5th grade because she screamed it at us when we asked her what we were having for lunch that day. Her grandma was the school cook. She should have been used to the questions about lunch. She told the biggest lies I’ve ever heard to this day. Her explanation as to how she made such good grades was that she was shot through the ear in a driveby shooting while sitting in a restaurant. The bullet flipped her brain upside down and that’s what made her so smart. She was fat because she had a rare case of dinosaur bones in a human body. She fell at recess because her rubber ankles had a reaction to wet weather. The pen she wrote with could never be lent to use because Bill Clinton once used it and it was probably worth hundreds of dollars.

Donnie Fraley had a pair of Used jeans in every design. He wore his black hair spiked and he was taller than me. At 5’2, I was the tallest girl in my class. I haven’t grown an inch since. He skipped school and we couldn’t decide if he was 12 or 13, but he had definitely been held back. He smoked Kools and carried condoms in his wallet. His sidekick was a kid named Tracey Young, who had a speech impediment. Tracey once told me that he named his dog after me and I cried. Donnie punched him. I had the biggest crush on Donnie Fraley.

Joey Griffen’s hair was so red and so big, everyone called him “Fro-ey,” but he didn’t mind. He was picked first at every game we played – kickball, wiffle ball, basketball, soccer – and won every relay race. He was a “walker” and only lived a few houses down from our elementary school. He wore the same jean jacket every day. Since the first grade, he had been giving me Valentine’s Day gifts and I’m sure he wouldn’t eat lunch for weeks just so he could save up to buy them. In 5th grade, he gave me a ring for Valentine’s Day that I’m pretty sure was his mothers. I kept it anyway.

Staci Hackney was the first girl picked for any sport in PE. She was also my designated best friend. She could outrun me, outclimb me and outdo me in any activity we tried. She’d beat up on boys if they ever got on her nerves and she had a trampoline that we would all meet at after school and take turns jumping on. She liked coming to my house because I had a TV in my room and she thought it was funny to watch Real Sex and she liked playing on my swingset. A lot. She was an only child and jealous of the fact that I had a little sister and a little brother. I envied her because she had her own bedroom and lots of clothes. She once threatened to punch a guy in the nuts because she saw him kiss me on her trampoline. “Carrie Nations, I’m ashamed of you too,” she said after he left.

Adrienne Blackburn lived two houses down from Staci and competed with Staci for my attention. When the three of us hung out together, there were no problems at all, but if I was with either of them one-on-one – constant bickering. Adrienne would make me swim in her pool with her and she’d splash and scream extra loud so “Staci could hear how much fun we were having.” She stuffed her grandpa’s cat into a mailbox every time we visited him and she knew a boy from every grade school in the area. She didn’t wear a training bra, but she should have. Her mom dropped her off at school in a Jeep Wrangler and her dad picked her up on a motorcycle. She always bragged about having a perfect family. In the 5th grade, her parents split up because her dad started seeing a co-worker. He no longer picked her up on a motorcycle.

Chris Whisenant was from New Mexico and he had a birthmark on his lower arm. He was a cute, quiet boy that wore blue shirts that always made his eyes look bluer. He was devestatingly shy, but every girl had a crush on him. He had a crush on me. He asked me to the dance and I wore a red dress and a french twist. He bought me a corsage and he put it on my wrist while his mom took pictures. I didn’t dance with him one time during the whole dance because Jason Holyfield, a 6th grader, seemed more appealing to dance with. He sat on the bleachers with “Fro-ey,” staring at me while I danced. Before I left he told me it was the most fun he had all year and I felt bad because I could tell he really meant it. I spent the night at Staci’s that night and she told me I was pretty much the stupidest girl she ever knew and that she hoped Jason Holyfield broke my heart so I’d know how Chris Whisenant felt. I put my corsage in the freezer while I slept. I forgot to get it out the next day.

Carrie Nations was a teachers’ pet. She was the first girl in her class to get boobs and once she started her period in class. The boy sitting next to her asked her if she was dying. She was on the math team (although she hated math) and won first place in the “Reading Festival” every year. She cried in the 5th grade, when she lost the Spelling Bee. Her mom was in a Bon Jovi video and wore her hair teased high and drove a car that had T-tops. On weekends, she’d take Carrie and her friends riding around with the tops down and they’d listen to Def Leppard and sing at the top of their lungs. Sometimes she thought she only had friends because she had a cool mom. Her sister was her real best friend.

Carrie Nations’ favorite band in the 5th grade was Color Me Badd. You can sex her up at sundaysgirl@gmail.com.

Photo by Joyce Ravid

Among wrestling fans, Mick Foley is seen as a “hardcore legend.” Wrestling as Cactus Jack, Foley earned a name for himself in Japan, wrestling in matches featuring barbed wire and thumbtacks. He worked his way up to the WWE, wrestling under the name Mankind and earning mainstream recognition during a “Hell in a Cell” match in June 1998, when he fell off the top of a steel cage through the announcer’s table.

After years of tormenting his body, Foley retired from the active roster in 2000. Out of the limelite, Foley turned his attention to writing. He penned two autobiographies, three childrens books and is currently trying to break his way into popular fiction. His first novel, Tietam Brown earned him some critical praise, but it seems his newest book, Scooter might just be the breakthough novel Foley has been searching for.

The book has already impressed Richard Price, the best-selling author of Freedomland and Clockers. Price is quoted on the back of the book as saying, “In turns ashcan realist and operatic, lurid and heartfelt, sentimental and hard-nosed, Scooter is an absorbing tale of one kid’s growth into young manhood via sports; sports as an instrument of love, of revenge, of celebration and of destruction. It also, most compellingly, offers an athlete’s contemplation of pain, and the unique brand of salvation that can come of its forbearance.”

Foley also plans on returning to wrestling. He signed a new contract with the WWE to return to the ring part-time and he appeared as a special guest on last night’s special “Homecoming” edition of Monday Night Raw. We were fortunate enough to get a chance to speak with Foley about his writing, his wrestling and the evil empire that is the New York Yankees.

Willie McCovey, and more importantly, his bat play a huge role in this book. Did you choose him for a specific reason or did you just pick a name of a former great?

Two reasons. One, the first story that kind of came to seed for this book was of a New York city cop coming home after a few too many drinks in the Long Island railroad bar car and playing stickball with the neighborhood kids and having a good time until he realized he was swinging with a McCovey bat. He seemed to have a great big problem with the neighborhood kids playing with an autographed model of a black athlete’s bat and he set about trying to destroy that bat against a tree. So, I fictionalized that story and used it for Scooter.

McCovey’s name is also important because I was trying to find a famous major leaguer who could hit the ball a long way and pulled everything. McCovey was a name that my friends offered me.

We know you did a lot of research for this book. What was that process like for you?

I started this book as a short story when I was in route to China for some volunteer work. I thought two things – one, I had the potential for a novel and two, if I didn’t really have my baseball knowledge down that the baseball fans would be unforgiving. So, I set about reading nothing but New York history and baseball history for about six months. I really wanted the story to sound as if it came from a guy who knew the game.

Did it work for you? Has the response from baseball fans been positive?

Yeah, even people who write about baseball for a living seem to think the baseball is pretty solid, with the exception of my having the Mets taking the field in the bottom of the 14th at Shea, which is impossible, and spelling Bobby Thomson’s name with a “P,” it seems like I’ve done pretty good.

We have an important question for you. Are you actually a Yankees fan?

Yeah, I grew up a huge Yankees fan. For a few years in the late 90s, I thought it would be good for baseball if the smaller market teams had a shot at the series title. I now think it would be good for baseball if the Yankees won another series title.

We thought you made Scooter’s dad a Yankees fan because you were looking for another way to make the character less likeable.

(Laughs) It’s kind of tricky because most Yankees stories don’t take place during the lean years, but I really was intrigued by the fact that the Bronx and the team were crumbling simultaneously.

Speaking of dads, we noticed you snuck your father into this book. What made you decide to include Dr. Foley?

My father was a very interesting character who was respected and feared in the halls of my high school. So I decided that it would be more interesting not to fictionalize him at all. The mountains of magazines on his desk are pretty much exactly as they would have been years ago.

One of my big fears was that my dad would take issue with being a character in the book and I kind of held my breath when he was reading it. I was really happy that he not only liked his depiction, but was really touched that I dedicated the book to him.

Did he have any idea beforehand that you were going to put him in the book or did you just spring it on him?

(Laughs) Yeah, I figured I’d take the gutless approach.

Photo by Courtney Vickery

What are your plans for your next novel?

There’s something like 50,000 books published a year and I guess everybody has their own unique style, so I don’t see any pressure to stop being a first person narrator. But, I am intrigued by being a different narrator in each book.

Tietam Brown had a 17-year-old year old kid growing up in upstate New York in the 80s. Scooter was a little more ambitious in that he was a narrator at four, nine, 13 and 17 growing up in the Bronx in the 60s. My next project, I’m going to attempt to be a black woman in her 30s growing up in the segregated south in the mid-1950s.

Have you started working on that book yet?

No, I’m in the research and imagination phase. I’m trying to find her voice and actually the voice-finding process is going pretty good. I hear her voice – not in a literal, psychotic sense, but in the imaginary, literary sense. It’s going to involve a lot of work because I really want my research to be legitimate and get a feel for what this kid would have been going through as he takes this monumental trip through the segregated south to meet Mickey Mouse.

What kind of expectations do you have for a book like Scooter?

I’m pretty realistic as far as sales. It’s very difficult to find new readers and I’ve come to accept that wrestling fans, though they may actually love me, are not necessarily going to change their lives for me. Reading fiction is a lifestyle change and it’s a very rare book that comes along that actually brings new readers to the table. I’m not sure that Scooter is going to be one of those. But I do think that people who pick it up and have an open mind will enjoy it regardless of whether they are a wrestling fan or a baseball fan. The most important thing is that the people who do read it like it. But, of course, big sales would be a close number two.

You said wrestling fans? You were some sort of wrestler before, is that right?

(Laughs)

No seriously, we know you were part of the Hardcore Homecoming reunion show in Philadelphia. What was it like to be a part of such a phenomenal show and did that, and the WWE-ECW show, play a part in your wanting to come back to wrestling?

No, they didn’t, because I had actually been talking with the WWE about playing a very limited role before those shows were even on the table. I enjoyed both shows. Hardcore Homecoming is a difficult one for me to judge because I was kind of sequestered in an office and very few of the wrestlers even knew I was there. I did that show to try to show my thanks to Shane Douglas for being such a good friend when I was breaking in.

I really enjoyed the One Night Stand and I’m afraid to watch it because I’m sure I’ll think the commentary sucked. But, I liked it and I guess either a lot of people have lied or really did think that I did okay on it.

How close were you to signing with NWA TNA?

Very, very close. I think that everybody is better off with another viewing option and I really had convinced myself that the competition would bring out the best in Vince McMahon. I really felt like I’d be doing him a favor in an odd way. That argument, of course, didn’t go that well with Vince when I brought it to him. It turns out that Vince can be a little difficult to say no to. I also didn’t understand just how highly they thought of me in WWE. I was very, very close, but I always told Jeff Jarrett that I needed to make that call to Vince, and there was always a chance that he could make me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Ultimately, you decided to sign with the WWE. How long are you back for? What do you see your role being in the WWE this time around?

What’s great from both my standpoint and their’s is that it’s just a few matches a year and we can really look long term at where those matches would best be utilized. So, if they think I can best be utilized in a role at Wrestlemania, that’s great, or if they say, “We’ve got enough on our plate at ‘mania, but we could really use you at Backlash,” then I’m all for that as well.

Have you had any talks with the creative team yet? Do you know what show you are going to be on?

No, I had just one very vague talk with a member of creative team and definitely liked what I heard, but that’s as far as I’ll go.

Have you been training for your return at the WWE Homecoming show?

(Laughs) I’ve been assured that this is not one of those matches, but I am in the process of trying to drop a couple of pounds. Next time I get down to 270, I’m going to try to stay in that ballpark. As it turns out, if you go back to all of your terrible eating habits and stop working out, you will put some of weight on. It’s a scientific marvel. I used my body as a guinea pig and dedicated the last year and a half to science.

Muhammad Hassan was recently released from the WWE after drawing some heat from the media for forming a group resembling a terrorist cell. One of the last times we saw you in a WWE ring, you were helping to put over Muhammad Hassan. What are your thoughts on the way that situation was handled?

Timing is sometimes everything. The timing was really bad as it turned out to do a faux terrorist angle, being that it ended up airing on the day of the London bombings. I would have thought that was going too far anyway. I think it’s a shame because I did like that character or else I would not have participated in that December television show with him. I really thought the potential would have been in him coming back, asking the American people for forgiveness, seeing the error in his ways and being accepted as a positive Arab American role model. The only problem is once people found out he wasn’t really Arab American, it would have made for a lot less effective character. But, I do believe the public would have forgiven him if it was done the right way.

Talk to us about the state of wrestling.

Well, I like the fact that there is some competition on the horizon. I like a lot of those TNA guys and I really do believe a good TNA show will bring out the best in the WWE. I think everybody wins in that situation.

What about the WWE shows today? What do you think of them now?

I’ve always thought they were pretty good. Some people are a lot harder on the shows than I am. There’s always something entertaining there for me. I still think if you were to compare today’s product and 1983′s product, for example, we’d blow it away. I just think we kind of set a tough standard in the late 90s.

We’d like to change gears for a moment here. Let’s talk about your visits to Walter Reed Army Medical Center. You’ve been quoted as saying the first time you went was out of guilt, but since then you’ve been back close to 20 times to visit wounded veterans. How difficult was it the first time and what makes you go back?

I fully expected my first visit to Walter Reed to be my last, but there’s something about that WWE TV coming into so many homes, especially when so many of these soldiers were in their formative teen years. I think especially my character kind of made them feel like they had a friend. So when I meet these guys, they kind of look at me as if they already know me and they find me easy to talk to. I realized after my first visit, which had been about an eight hour visit, that I hadn’t actually done a whole lot of talking, mostly listening. And I also realized, far from being depressed or sad, I really felt enthused and motivated. By the fifth or sixth hour, I was telling some of these guys I planned on seeing them again.

Okay, we don’t want to end this on a serious note. So, we’d like to ask you about one of your favorite subjects – Christmas. Are your Christmas lights up now? Honestly, who gets more excited – you or your kids?

The sad truth is the Christmas Room is less spectacular than the public has been lead to believe. It’s really just a collection of Annalee Mobilitee figures – Annalee figures being a unique New Hampshire creation.

When it comes to lights, one year I actually hired people to do my lights because I’m the least handy person you’ll ever meet. While the house looked good, it was hard to drive up and take pride in that look because I had had nothing to do with it. So, last year the Foley house, believe it or not, went lightless. Big disappointment to people who think I really do love the holidays, but in my opinion seeing a big guy with long hair cursing on his front lawn does not add to the holiday season.

We’ve got one last thing for you here. We are going to do a word association. We’ll just throw out a name and tell us the first thing that comes to your mind.

Al Snow.

My literary punching bag.

Joe Torre.

A poor choice for a Mick Foley comic foil.

Vince McMahon.

My benefactor.

Mr. Socko.

Laughing all the way to the bank.

Hell in a Cell.

No sense fighting it, might as well embrace it.

Mick Foley.

Work in progress.

The future.

I’m not real optimistic about the way we’ve been treating Mother Earth or the world.

That’s sort of an interesting note to end on there.

Yeah, might as well end with a downer.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, October 2005. Scooter is available in bookstores now. To read our follow up interview with Mick Foley conducted in March of 2007, click here.

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Name: Nicole
Age: 23
Sign: Slippery When Wet

Nicole is an absolute whirlwind. She has a deadly combination of beauty, brains and a willingness to say exactly what’s on her mind. Maybe it has something to do with living in Philly, the only city to ever have a jail inside it’s football stadium.

Whatever the reason for her sharp tongue, it only adds to her charm. It’s a shame Joel doesn’t have a shot in hell with her.

1. How long have you and Joel been friends?

One time Joel poured paste down my Little Mermaid underwear in kindergarden, so i stuck gum on his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lunch box. Been friends ever since.

2. What do you think of him?

He’s a dirty slut.

2b. No, what do you really think of him?

No wait, that was me.

3. If Joel gave you a gun with three bullets (and Leonardo DiCaprio was already dead), what three celebrities would you shoot and why?

Lance Armstrong for the irony of it, Jerry Fallwell for moral reasons and Richard Simmons for fun.

4. What would be the perfect way to spend a day with Joel (assuming he allows you to hang with him)?

I’d sweep Joel off his feet with champagne and flowers. Then once the roofies I slipped in his glass took effect, rape his bum ’til the cows come home.

5. What are five random words that describe Joel?

titillating, fetching, seductive, fascinating, toxic

6. Joel just really pissed you off. You have ten seconds to tell him off. What do you say?

“Joel, you’re so stupid I hate you and your wrestling watching, below the Mason-Dixon line living, bullshit … ok, I love you. Undo your pants.”

7. Can Joel borrow five bucks?

Only if I can stick it in his g-string while he jiggles his balls to “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred.

Click on a photo to enlarge it or click here to start a slideshow.

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