One on One with Bruce Campbell

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In 1979, Detroit friends Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert and Bruce Campbell raised $350,000 for their low-budget film, Evil Dead and the rest is history. Raimi, the director of the film, has gone on to direct all three blockbuster Spider-man films and Campbell, the star of Evil Dead, has become nothing short of a B-movie legend.

From scene stealing cameos in all three of Raimi’s Spider-man films to a hilarious series of Old Spice commercials that include him singing a lounge version of “Hungry Like the Wolf,” Campbell’s career is hotter than ever. Luckily, Campbell took a few brief moments from his hectic schedule shooting his new USA Network series Burn Notice to answer a few of our questions.

How tough was it to break into the business?

It took about a decade of hard work to “break in.” The unmotivated should stay away from show biz. It’s actually far too big of a story to answer in an interview, so I wrote a book. Check it out.

You have played a retail worker who travels back to medieval times to take on the undead with a shotgun, an elderly Elvis Presley who battles with a mummy who devours souls and a 19th century American spy on a Caribbean island who tries to thwart Napoleon’s colonizing efforts. Has there ever been a script that you read and thought, “This is too out there, even for me?”

Bubba Ho-Tep was close. It was the weirdest script I’d ever read, but there was an underlying sweetness that hooked me. I am attracted to off-kilter material, so I tend to be sympathetic toward that sort of offering.

In the Spider-man movie universe, exactly how many Bruce Campbell clones are running around New York? Is it some sort of evil plot hatched by one of the supervillians to have these sarcastic dopplegangers torment Peter Parker everywhere he goes?

There are as many clones as Sam Raimi desires. If he makes more Spideys, I’ll be happy to play. If he doesn’t, then my Spidey days are over.

With your scene-stealing cameos in all three Spider-man movies and your memorable Old Spice commercial singing “Hungry Like the Wolf,” it seems like you are getting a lot of mainstream attention these days. Do you see yourself pursuing more mainstream roles, perhaps even being cast as a lead in your own Sam Raimi directed summer blockbuster, or would you prefer to stick to your B-movie roots?

I don’t pursue a pre-planned agenda or any type of “genre.” I take stuff as it comes in and say yes or no based on about 10 different criteria, like script, experience of the director, scheduling, moola, etc.

For those unfamiliar with your latest project, Burn Notice, how would you describe the show and your character Sam Axe?

It’s not a boring-ass doctor show, cop show or lawyer show – enough reasons for anyone to check it out. It’s a smart show about a “burned” CIA operative who now has to ply his trade in the U.S., helping “little people.” I play a washed out ex-Navy seal who helps him out while I live off rich Miami women. Sounds fun, huh?

You have had memorable roles on a number of popular TV shows, including Xena: Warrior Princess, The X-Files and Homicide: Life on the Street. Are there any current television shows that you would like to have a guest appearance on (perhaps Lost, which Carlton Cuse, the creator/executive producer of The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., works on)?

Again, I don’t long to work on any particular show or with anyone in particular. These days, I am more interested in developing my own material and having as much creative control over the process as possible. It’s a creative biz, so I run from stuff that doesn’t allow me to do my thing.

You have written two books, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor and Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way. What is the process like for you when you sit down and write?

I am a morning writer. I get up about five in the morning and write until around noon. My brain is fried by then, so I look for something physical to do, like mow the lawn.

You have a very devoted and rabid fan base. How often do fans approach you when you are out in public?

It all depends on where I go. Mostly on the street I’m left alone. I only get hassled at conventions, but that’s the place to be hassled, so no problem there. I’m pretty much Joe Citizen and take on daily biz like anyone else.

Tell us something most people don’t know about you.

I have two acres of lavender on my Oregon property – and it smells pretty.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got into acting?

I would work in the woods, on land management issues.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, June 2007. Burn Notice premieres tonight at 10 PM on the USA Network. For more information on Bruce Campbell, visit his official website. To read our feature on Evil Dead: The Musical, click here.

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Note to Self – The 2007 Note to Self awards

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Brian Murphy

Brian Murphy

Hello everyone and welcome to the second-annual Note to Self awards. Last year, in our first installment, we focused only on the National Football League. After some internal discussions, we’ve decided to expand our awards to all of professional sports. So without further adieu, let’s hand out some Selfies.

The “just happy to be here” award goes to the city of Cleveland, who hasn’t had a reason to cheer since running back Jim Brown brought home a championship back in 1964. You might have heard that a local kid named LeBron something or other has the city’s basketball team reaching new heights these days.

Well, even on the best day Cleveland has to set the bar low – the Cavaliers made it to the NBA Finals for the first time in franchise history and what music did they choose to come out to in game one? The Undertaker’s theme for the WWF’s glory days. Only in Cleveland could a team know they’re a “dead man walking” before the Finals even begins.

The George W. Bush “decision maker” award goes to RB Reggie Bush. The last time we saw Reggie he was running backwards for a touchdown to ensure he pissed off Brian Urlacher and the Chicago Bears defense enough to bury his New Orleans Saints in the playoffs. Well, it’s been a busy offseason for the youngster.

His former college teammate introduced him to a friend of a friend for a brief fling, which probably wouldn’t be noteworthy, if not for the fact that the friend of a friend was Kim Kardashian, who former USC quarterback Matt Leinart knew from his brief relationship with Paris Hilton.

So, to recap, Bush took money in college, missed out on being the top pick because he wanted more money, turned in an uneven freshman season in the NFL and then hooked up with a chick who is only known because she (much like Hilton) has an Internet sex tape floating around out there. I know NFL teams put clauses in player contracts all the time banning sky diving, riding motorcycles and other dangerous activities – you’re telling me two sentences ordering players like Bush to avoid walking Herpes Machines like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian is a bad thing?

Let’s just say I’d highly recommend avoiding Reggie when it’s time to draft your fantasy football team this year. If for no other reason than it’s hard to focus on avoiding defensive linemen and dodging linebackers when your crotch is on fire (just ask Ron Mexico).

Britney Spears “didn’t you used to be relevant?” award goes to QB Daunte Culpepper. While I might not have been a big fan of either, they were both, at one time, known as one of the best in their respective professions. Britney splits from Justin Timberlake; Daunte and Randy Moss go their separate ways. Neither has been the same since. So enjoy their comeback tours – fat and bald Britney lip-synching her own songs during 12-minute sets and Culpepper collecting a paycheck to work just as hard in Jacksonville.

The Marion Barry “bitch set me up” award – we all know former major leaguer Rafael Palmeiro has earned the lifetime achievement award for his preposterous claim that teammate Miguel Tejada gave him steroids when he thought they were vitamin shots. But we might have to make room for Mike Vick’s cousin, Davon Boddie.

Boddie, you see, is the winner who was living in the now infamous house in Surry County, Virginia that is tied to one of the biggest possible dog fighting cases our country has ever seen. Well, a week or so ago, while doing an interview with a local TV station, Boddie seemingly suggested that that the 66 live dogs in his backyard may have been planted by investigators. No seriously. The guy tried to play dumb and then said, “I got a little French poodle, man. That’s all I know.”

This guy has stones the size of footballs if he thinks “the cops set me up” is going to fly when people ask why more than 60 malnourished dogs are in cages in your backyard. Even mayor-for-life Barry couldn’t say that with a straight face.

The Ron Burgundy “milk was a bad choice” award goes to Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano, who beat out his own manager, Lou Piniella, for the award. The man they call “Big Z” is eligible for arbitration at the end of the 2007 season, and is rumored to be looking for something in the neighborhood of Barry Zito’s five-year, $80 million contract. Zambrano’s people and Cubs management remained in contact prior to the season, but couldn’t work something out. So Carlos knows he’s essentially playing this season for his next big pay day.

Well, the portly pitcher isn’t really doing himself any favors with a 7-6 record and an earned run average of 4.53, but the Cubs have been losers for so long they’ll patiently wait for him to work out of this slump. That is, unless he continues to act like he did on June 1st, when he decided to confront his own catcher, Michael Barrett, after a passed ball and errant throw on the same play by Barrett. With cameras focused on Zambrano, he sucker punched his own catcher until teammates separated the two “grown” men. Carlos was then told to leave by Piniella, walked down the hall and then challenged Barrett to a fight. Hey tough guy, maybe if you focused that energy on the opposition (instead of the guy you have to throw your pitches to) you wouldn’t have statistics comparable to nobodies like Jeff Suppan, Miguel Batista and Adam Eaton.

The Donald Rumsfeld “revisionist history” award goes to Joe Gibbs. The man in charge of the Washington Redskins and Joe Gibbs Racing is admittedly a spiritual man, a man of principals. So I can’t say I was overly surprised to hear that his NASCAR team might have issues signing free-agent-to-be Dale Earnhardt, Jr. because he drives the Budweiser car. And I also understand that because he’s a Hall of Fame coach with multiple Super Bowls rings and NASCAR championships, he’s pretty much allowed to do and say whatever he wants without question.

But I really feel the need to point out that avoiding the squeaky-clean Earnhardt because of his beer-sponsored car while re-signing “Core Redskin” and Love Boat captain Fred Smoot is slightly hypocritical. Little E spends his weekends with both hands on the wheel. When Smoot uses both hands it’s typically time to ensure all small children and farm animals have left the room. I’m just sayin’.

Brian Murphy is the 2005 Defense Department’s sportswriter of the year. And he still doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. Contact him at murf@the5holes.com.

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Murphy’s Law – Don’t stop …

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Joel Murphy

Joel Murphy

“You probably don’t even hear it when it happens.”

- Bobby Baccalieri

When I wrote my column last week laying down the odds of how Tony would die, I honestly thought that would be the last Sopranos column I ever wrote. I fully intended to watch the season finale, let the show fade out into the sunset and devote my next column to Paris Hilton’s prison meltdown or an obscure news story about robots.

Then, like the rest of America, I watched the finale on Sunday night.

I watched Meadow run across traffic after finally parallel parking her car. I listened as the bell attached to the front door of the diner dinged and Tony’s head popped up. Then, just as Steve Perry belted out “Don’t stop …” everything went to black.

Like many of you, my immediate thought was that my signal went out. I have DirecTV and the few times I’ve had signal problems, the screen has abruptly gone to black, so I figured this was one of those blackouts. Then the closing credits came up.

I was livid. I couldn’t believe that David Chase chose to end one of the best television shows of my lifetime with a copout ending. Like my brother and many others out there, I initially believed Chase had ended the show on an ambiguous note, leaving it up to the viewers to decide Tony’s ultimate fate.

Monday night, still fuming, I tried to put the episode out of my head completely. But the show was still on my mind on Tuesday night, so I fired up my DVR and watched the ending sequence again. Then I watched it a third time.

Last night, I watched it for a fourth time. I took out a notepad and wrote down everything that happened in the final sequence. I typed up my notes, hoping to incorporate them into this column, but my recap ended up being 820 words long, which is longer than some columns I’ve written.

I’ve become obsessed with the ending. I’ve become convinced that it isn’t ambiguous after all and I have this need to understand what it all means.

First, I turned to Terence Winter, who I interviewed last week. I sent him an email after the finale asking him a few questions that might shed some light on what it all meant. Unfortunately, this was the response I got back: “I’m sorry, but David Chase specifically requested that we not discuss the finale, preferring to let the work speak for itself. Sorry I couldn’t be more help.”

I was on my own. I returned to my DVR, intent on discovering what it all meant. So,
after way too many viewings and quite a bit of overanalyzing, here’s what I’ve decided …

Tony Soprano is dead.

Since the finale has created so much controversy and has spawned so many different opinions, I decided to check with some of the other HoboTrashcan writers to get their take on the surprise ending.

Brian Murphy’s take:

Since Davis Chase was kind enough to bring “choose your own adventures” back to mainstream America, I figured I would share my take on how The Sopranos finale ended. And while my brother and countless others have decided Tony Soprano got whacked when the screen went black, I don’t see it that way. Truth be told, I would have been fine if that’s what happened, but I’m sorry to break it to you – Chase didn’t kill Tony, he went in the complete opposite direction and used what we in the business call the “Happy Hollywood Ending.”

Even though his empire is crumbling around him and most of his top guys are dead, even though the federal case involving the gun charges, etc. will officially be dropped in his lap any day now and even though one of his own guys has turned rat in hopes of helping his son get out of an arrest involving ecstasy charges, at the end of the day everything is okay because Tony has got his family (and onion rings). If he wanted Tony dead, Chase would have killed him. But he didn’t, and whether people like it or not, the biggest show in modern television history ended with a disappointing Disney moment.

Ned Bitter’s take:

You know, the whole episode was just so-so, like most of this final season, but the more I think about it, the ending rocked. What does it get across? That this life that they have ALL chosen will forever be filled with apprehension, worry, stress, the knowledge that every strange face could be the one that puts a bullet through your immoral skull. And this might be a stretch, but I don’t think so. Those three shots of the onion rings were sort of a communion thing, but instead of taking the body of Christ, I see it as they are all reaffirming their knowledge that all they have is because of this fucked up life they have ALL chosen to live, with none of them able to say, “But I didn’t know …” I mean, watch that scene again. That is slap-you-in-the-face symbolism, and it works.

And I think it was brilliant that Meadow wasn’t there for that, as she is headed into the legal profession, so she might rise above it. Might. Hence her coming into the restaurant after a “struggle” to park. That was symbolic, too. She might be the only one who can get free of that world. So it ends with him living under this constant threat of immediate, violent end, which is as it should be for someone who long ago agreed to live a life of compromise.

But what the fuck do I know….

I know I’m not the first person to reach this conclusion, but I am convinced that this is the definitive answer. Why am I so certain? Because I think the answer lies in two important clues – a quote from Bobby Bacala and the front door bell.

As others have already pointed out on various message boards, Bobby and Tony were fishing together in the first episode of this season and the topic of getting whacked came up. Bobby looked at Tony and said, “You probably don’t even hear it when it happens.” If that was the only time the line came up, I would have dismissed it. But, in the second to last episode, when Tony is in bed with his assault riffle, the show flashes back to that line. It’s what English professors refer to as foreshadowing.

As I mentioned above, the other clue is the doorbell. Tony is sitting down at his table waiting for his family to arrive and every time someone enters the restaurant, the bell dings and Tony’s head pops up to see who is coming in. This can be interpreted two ways – either Tony is looking to see if it’s a family member or he’s being cautious, unsure what trouble might come his way.

We see a number of people walk through the door – a brunette, an old man in a flannel vest and USA cap, Carmela and a guy in a Member’s Only Jacket and A.J. (they enter at the same time). Tony’s head pops up and he gets a good look at each one of these people as they enter. In one of the final shots of the episode, two black guys who look suspiciously similar to the hitmen Junior hired to take out Tony in season one enter the diner, but the bell doesn’t ding and Tony’s head doesn’t pop up.

I think this is significant. Either the bell failed to ding when the two guys entered the diner or we didn’t hear the ding because Tony didn’t notice it. At this point, he is more relaxed and focused on his family, so he misses the two guys, even though they are definitely suspicious.

I can’t decide whether the two black guys are the ones who actually kill Tony, or if they are meant to simply be a symbol. The other possible hitman is the guy in the Member’s Only jacket, who we see heading to the bathroom in a clear nod to The Godfather. Tony watches the Member’s Only guy suspiciously as he heads to the bathroom, but it’s possible that Tony temporarily forgets about him as he’s waiting for Meadow to come through the front door.

I think there is definitely more going on with Meadow than it appears too. The first few times I watched the ending, I couldn’t understand why she had so much trouble parallel parking. The girl grew up in New Jersey and went to college in New York, she should know how to parallel park (even if she’s a woman driver). And why is she in such a hurry to get across the street? Tony doesn’t even seem concerned that she is late; he only asks Carmela where A.J. is, as if he’s not surprised that Meadow would be coming separately and arriving late.

So why the bad parking job and the rush across the street? I think Meadow is pregnant. Carmela tells Tony that Meadow had to go to the doctor to switch birth control, which seems like an odd detail to put in that final scene. But what if Meadow lied to her mom, telling her that she was headed to the gynecologist to get birth control, when really she was going to confirm the fact that she was pregnant? It would explain why she was so distracted when she was attempting to park and why she was in such a hurry to get across the street.

I believe in those final seconds, as Meadow was rushing into the diner to give her parents the good news, that bell rang and Tony’s head popped up and a gunmen used that opportunity to put a bullet in the back of Tony’s head. Just like Bobby said, you don’t even hear it coming. The music just stops and everything fades to black.

I’m convinced this is what happened at the end of the show. I no longer believe the ending was ambiguous. And, like Terence Winter said to me when I interviewed him, I think that this is, in fact, “a very satisfying ending.” Maybe I had to work to piece it all together, but all the clues were there, and as David Chase had hoped, in the end the work really did speak for itself.

Random Thought of the Week:
I want to give a quick shout out to The Twin Hens. As many astute readers may remember, I mentioned the Twin Hens pot pies in my April 12 column. In that column, I gave a glowing review of their pot pies, but complained that they were overpriced, even going so far to say “it felt like these Twin Hens were fucking me – and not in a fun ménage à trois way.”

Well, even though I took a few shots at her product and made a few off-color remarks, one of the Hens, Kathy Herring, stumbled across my column and offered to send me four free pot pies, which arrived in the mail today. So thank you Kathy for your generosity.

If anyone else wants to send me free stuff, I’ll be more than happy to plug your product and make off-color remarks at your expense as well.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.

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One on One with Terence Winter

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From writing to acting to directing, Terence Winter has literally done it all on The Sopranos. He’s written numerous classic moments, like Paulie and Christopher getting stranded and eating ketchup packets in the woods, Vito getting caught blowing a construction worker and most recently, Christopher shocking the world by throwing Little Paulie out of a window. Think of your favorite moments over the show’s history, and chances are Winter wrote it.

Outside of David Chase, Terence Winter is probably more intimately familiar with The Sopranos universe than anyone on the planet. So, with only one episode of the hit show left, we sat down with Winter to ask him about the inner workings of one of the best shows in TV history, his favorite moments both on and off camera and the fate of the Russian who got away.

Where are you originally from and where do you call home now?

I’m originally from Brooklyn, Marine Park, specifically. It’s a neighborhood in Brooklyn, sort of near Sheepshead Bay, Coney Island. I grew up there, then lived in Manhattan for quite a while and I’ve basically been bi-coastal, between Los Angeles and New York, since ’91, but recently have relocated back to Los Angeles because my girlfriend and I just had a son, born April 24th. So L.A. is home these days.

How exactly did you get into writing, and when did you decide this is what you wanted to do for a living?

I kind of always had the feeling that writing was something I wanted to do, but I don’t think I had the courage to pursue it as a career. You know, you grow up on the east coast, particularly in a blue collar neighborhood, being a writer is not the kind of thing that jumps out at you as a career path. But it was sort of my deep dark secret and I began writing short stories in high school and I had a teacher who was really encouraging, but again, it was a trade school and the idea of becoming a writer was just so hard to wrap your head around, or wrap my head around.

I graduated and ended up going to college, studying journalism, still wasn’t convinced that writing was the way to go, ended up going to law school and practiced law for a couple of years and that was so miserable that I finally just did some soul searching and said, “Alright, what do you want to do when you wake up in the morning?” And the answer, again the deep dark secret was I wanted to be a writer. This was somewhere around 1991 and I had no real ties to New York at the time and I just got on a plane and moved to L.A. and started teaching myself how to be a screenwriter.

When you finally decided to pursue writing as a career, how tough was it to break into the business and was there ever a point where you thought you may have to do something else with your life?

It’s very tough. It’s a combination of talent and perseverance, initially, probably about 50 percent each. It’s sort of a Catch-22 in Hollywood that you can’t get work without an agent and you can’t get an agent without work. So, it’s almost like there’s no real set career path to screenwriting. I just knocked on a lot of doors and made cold calls to agents. I sent out my scripts to anybody who would agree to read them.

I think as Chris Caldovino probably mentioned in his interview, at one point we created a phony agency because people wouldn’t read my scripts unless they came from an agent. So luckily, I went to law school with a guy who had been bonded as an agent but didn’t really know anything about being an agent. He was a real estate attorney who had a client who wrote a book on real estate and he used the money he got from handling that deal to become an agent himself, but he never really knew anything about it, so he let me create this phony agency out of a Mailbox, Etc. and I was able to submit scripts under his name and that at least got me read. About two and a half years after I got there, to L.A., I got accepted to the Warner Brothers sitcom writer’s workshop which is a program they run every year for aspiring writers. They take about 15 or 20 writers from around the country and put you through a 10-week program. That finally got me noticed and got me put on a show.

Who are some of your influences? Was there one book, TV show or movie that you saw growing up that made you say “this is what I want to do with my life”?

I’ve always enjoyed movies. I was always a movie fan, but it wasn’t until I saw Taxi Driver for the first time that I realized that movies could be art. It was the summer of 1977, I was 16 years old and I remember sitting through that movie and it was different than anything else I had seen. And I remember going back, I probably saw it 10 times, maybe more, over that summer and for the first time realized – wow, this stuff could be really special. It’s not just some stupid action movie; this is something that’s really works on several different levels. That was the first time I had actually started thinking about film as art and that maybe writing a film is something that I would like to try to do. It was many, many years later that I actually tried to do it, but that was the first thing that sort of hit me. I do have other favorite writers – I’m a big fan of Pete Hamil’s work, mainly read non-fiction. Other than that, I just continued to see movies, but didn’t have any clear cut idea how to get into the business until years later.

Would you say you are a naturally talented writer? Being inspired by Taxi Driver, were you able to make the art movies that you wanted to write starting out or did it take a while?

No, not yet, not at all. I think what I had in the beginning, as most kids, I probably logged about two billion hours in front of the television set and I kind of knew, not instinctively, but I knew through osmosis, I suppose, what a sitcom episode should look like and sound like. I was a pretty good mimic. I could tell a story and I could do it in the fashion of the way it was done on television that I had seen through the years of watching The Munsters and Gilligan’s Island and F Troop and every other sitcom that they ran in New York at that time, so I think I was a pretty good writer. I think I was a pretty good natural storyteller. I think I was pretty funny.

The thing is, you can’t really teach somebody to be funny. You can’t teach someone to be clever, or write clever dialogue. You can teach story structure, I believe, but unless you’ve got some sort of an innate sense of humor, you’re never going to get beyond where you are. I think I had good basic tools to start with and then learn from there. I’ve read every screenwriting book I could get my hands on. I read every script I could get and really became a student of film and television. Instead of just watching movies and TV shows, I’d sit with a pad and pen and really dissect them, and make notes – 15 minutes in, this happened and this is how they end this act and this is where the conclusion comes. I really started to just dissect this stuff like when you hear kids who become electronic engineers start by taking apart radios when they were kid to see how they work. I did that with TV shows.

You wrote the 50 Cent movie Get Rich or Die Tryin’. How did that project come about and what was it like writing it?

I got a call from Jimmy Iovine, who runes Interscope Records. He called my agent and said he wanted to meet with me about doing a hip hop project and I said, “He’s obviously confusing me with somebody else.” I’m not the guy. You think immediately, “Oh, we’ve got to get Terry Winter.”

He said, “No, no, he knows who you are, he’s a fan of your work and he wants to meet you.”

So, I met with him and he said, “Look, it’s essentially a gangster story and you write gangster stories. It’s just a different culture.” He said, “Once you learn the cultural differences and the slang and the clothes, that’s all window dressing. At its core, it’s a gangster movie.”

I thought, it’s really interesting, he’s right. So I agreed to do it, I met 50, absolutely loved him from the minute I met him. The guy’s fantastic, hilariously funny, really smart, incredible businessman and I’ve said this about him about a million times, but it’s true – had he been born in a different time and place, this guy would have been running a Fortune 500 company. He’s that gifted as a business person.

So for me it was great. I went on tour with him for a couple of weeks, I interviewed him, he could not have been a better collaborator – wide open, told me everything I wanted to know. I went off, I wrote the script and then Jim Sheridan came on to direct it. Sadly, for me, Jim chose to pretty much completely abandon my script and re-write the movie to the extent that – they just made these wholesale changes that I disagreed with and it was sad because I originally was very proud of the script I wrote. The script I wrote is what got the movie green lit and then ultimately what ended up happening was the movie you see today. I just don’t think it’s as good as what I started with.

That brings up an interesting question. Since you are a writer and you don’t ultimately get creative control over the project, how often does that happen to you and what is that like to know you’ve worked on something, then you go in and you see it’s completely not what you had in mind?

It does happen quite a bit in the feature film world. It had never happened to me up until that point. In television, writers have much more control. In general, writers are the ones who run the show on TV and you’re there to make sure that your work is performed as written. I always like the analogy that writing a script is sort of like the architectural plans for a house. You turn over the script – architectural plans to a builder – the director, and he either follows or does not follow those plans.

If you’re a builder and you have the opportunity to have the architect on site with you while you are building the house, you’d think that would be a tremendous advantage, particularly if you’re going to start moving walls around and moving support beams. So if you have the writer there and you say, “Listen, I want change the scene or I want to change the dialogue – what will happen to the story if I do that?” It’s the way to do it and what happens, unfortunately, many times in feature films is the writer turns in the script and then that’s it, that’s the end of the process. Actors, directors, studio executives, etc. come along and change things without really considering what the impact of that is on the story. Its not that they don’t consider it, they may not even realize – oh, this scene sets up the last scene, etc. So many times, I’ve read scripts in their early form and go to see the movies years later and go, “I can’t believe how – this was a great script and look at the mess that ultimately gets made.”

What it did do for me is it made me a director. I sort of vowed that I would not get myself in that position again and I’ve learned to direct and, in fact, this year wrote and directed an episode of The Sopranos for the first time because I thought, I have to have some sort of control over my destiny, my writing, so that was the one good thing that came out of it.

How did you end up working on The Sopranos and what was it like when you originally joined the writing team?

I had been on a show called The PJs. It was an animated show with Eddie Murphy voiced the lead character. I was on that show and around that time, this was like ’98 or early ’99, I guess, my agent at the time sent me a copy of a TV pilot that he wanted me to watch. He said, “It’s something called The Sopranos, HBO is doing it” and like everybody else, I thought, “Why is he sending me a show about operas?” So I watched this thing and I thought it was the greatest thing I had ever seen. I just flipped out. I said, “I’ve got to be on this show.” I grew up in Brooklyn, on the sort of periphery of guys like that and I just knew I could write the shit out of this thing and I called him immediately and said, “You have got to get me on this show.” My second call was to a guy named Frank Renzulli, he and two other writers I worked with created the first show I ever worked on. Frank is from Boston and he also grew up in a similar area in Boston and I said, “Have you seen this thing, The Sopranos?”

And he said, “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I’m meeting this David Chase guy on Friday.” So Frank met David. Frank was the last person David hired the first season and David had already hired his writing staff at that point, so I sort of sat out the first year as a fan and it wasn’t until the beginning of the second season that David had fired most of the first year people and was going to bring in new writers. Frank had told him about me and David read some of my work, liked it and hired me.

What is The Sopranos writer’s room like and how is each season planned out? Does David Chase have a clear idea of how he wants each season to go or does he give you and the other writers creative freedom to come up with plotlines?

It’s a little of both. First of all, by television standards, we have a very small writing staff. I’ve been on sitcoms where there have been literally 16 to 20 writers. Dramas traditionally have smaller staffs, but most of the ones I have been on have had eight or nine writers. We’ve generally had four or five, so it’s a very tight-knit group.

Basically what happens in the beginning of the season, David will come in with a very broad stroke’s arc of what the season will hold. For example, season three – Uncle Junior is diagnosed with cancer. He has surgery, he recovers. Tony meets a woman in therapy, they have an affair; the affair ends badly. These are the sort of the bullet points that David comes in with, and then as a group, it’s our job to then flesh those things out into complete episodes.

Generally, he’ll say like, “Tony will meet this woman around episode four or five, and then they’ll begin their affair somewhere around episode six or seven and then it will end around episode 12.” And he has those bullet points for each character and these are the things that will happen to this character during the season and then our job as the writing staff is to put those things together in each episode and have them logically flow during the course of one story and that takes weeks at a time for each outline, for each episode.

Do you have a favorite character to write dialogue and scenes for?

I truly do love them all. I think I have to say I love Uncle Junior because he’s so much older than the other characters. You get to put expression in his mouth that nobody else could say. You know, the old time phrases, the old time references. It’s just a different way of speaking that people of a certain generation just don’t say, so it’s always fun. He’s also just so cranky and nasty, so it’s always fun.

You have written a number of classic Sopranos episodes, including “University,” where Ralph Cifaretto kills Tracee the stripper; “The Weight” which centers around Ralph’s joke about Ginny Sack’s ass; “Unidentified Black Males,” which has the scene where Finn catches Vito –

The blowjob episode. (Laughs.)

And you did “The Second Coming,” where AJ tried to drown himself in the pool. Out of the 25 episodes of The Sopranos that you have written, do you have a favorite episode or scene?

“Pine Barrens” is, I guess I could say it’s probably my favorite, only because it was such a unique experience for us as a crew. It was sort of a road trip for the whole cast and crew, we were up in the woods in Harriman State Park for a week in 18 inches of snow, we all stayed in a hotel up there. It was sort of fun, it was sort of like a class trip.

Plus, the episode was so much fun to do. It was hugely challenging. Originally, I did not write that to take place in the snow, it was written to take place in the cold, but it was sort of like dead leaves and bare trees. As we broke for the Christmas break that year, it snowed this huge blizzard. In fact, it just stopped snowing when we got our first shot off. You can actually see it if you watch the episode, when they are marching the Russian guy into the woods, there is snow still falling. That was the last trickling of snowfall from that blizzard. So, because it was such an oddball episode for us, it was just so much fun to do and then it just turned out so well that it was really a fun shoot for us and just a really memorable experience.

We are glad you mentioned “Pine Barrens” from season three. In the episode, Paulie and Christopher get stranded in the woods while trying to kill the Russian, Valery. Valery ends up escaping in their car, never to be seen or heard from again. We have accepted the fact that this particular loose end will never be tied up on the show, but for our own peace of mind, can you please tell us what happened to Valerie the Russian? Feel free to make up whatever answer you want, we’ll believe whatever you say. We just need to hear something.

(Laughs.) First of all, I don’t know that he took the car. Nobody knows. The truth is, I don’t know what happened to him. Our characters have speculated that maybe he died and got eaten by squirrels in the woods. We didn’t see him take the car and we just don’t know. Anybody could have come along and taken that car. It was left out in the middle of nowhere. So, the truth is, I really don’t know what happened to him. If you see him, please call me.

The Sopranos actually has a number of loose ends that haven’t necessarily been tied up. As a writer and someone who studies a lot of television and film, does it frustrate you to introduce plotlines that end up being dropped, or do you enjoy the fact that The Sopranos doesn’t feel the need to tie everything up into a nice little bow at the end of each season?

I kind of enjoy it; it’s more like real life. We’re sort of trained by decades of network television that everything’s got to be wrapped up in a neat little bow at the end of an hour and you don’t have to worry about it, you don’t have to think. The bad guy gets caught and sent to jail; the two lovers reconnect and live happily ever after, etc. We’re so programmed to think that if they are trying to find the bad guy, they will absolutely find the bad guy or that no transgression will go unpunished.

Well that’s not how life is. What we aspire to do is to tell a realistic story and sometimes, in your own life, you’ll meet somebody and you’ll think, “Oh wow, this person is going to be really important in my life” and then you never see them again. That’s how it is. It’s sort of random. And we’ll introduce – it’s not necessarily a mind-fuck or by design, but certain things get brought up and then are let go. And sometimes they do come back. Sometimes they come back years later. Characters are introduced, you don’t see them again for seasons, and then they pop up again. So, as a writer, it is freeing to not have to worry about, “Oh, I owe this to the audience because they’ll be expecting it.” There is something to be said for wish fulfillment in writing, but there’s also something to be said for thwarting the expectations of your audience and it’s in many ways more satisfying as an audience member to be left a little off-kilter. Somebody said once, “Art asks questions, it doesn’t give answers.” I’m not saying what we do is art, but it’s an interesting idea. It’s an interesting way to think about it.

People might not know this about you, but you actually appeared in a couple of the earlier episodes of The Sopranos as a character named Tom Amberson. How different for you was it to be on that side of the business?

It was really a thrill. It was fun. I had not really acted before and we were auditioning that role and David hadn’t seen anybody he really like and, at one point just turned to me while we were casting and said, “Do you want to do this?”

So I said, “Yeah.”

He goes, “Alright, well you have to read, so go down and get the sides and come back in and audition.” So I did and we ran it a couple of times and he said, “Okay, you can do it.” And then, the night came for me to do it and I rehearsed my lines for hours and I was very prepared, but you sit down and there’s the whole crew around you and the lights and the camera and Lorraine Bracco sits across from you and is looking in your eyes and suddenly, you are thinking, “Holy shit, this is not as easy as it looks.”

And then, standing up – I had rehearsed all of my lines sitting down and the director, Allen Coulter, said, “When you leave, as you’re walking, you talk to Dr. Melfi and ask her whatever question you ask.”

And, I said, “Well, wait a minute. I have to walk and talk at the same time?” (Laughs.) I remember thinking, “How do they do this? It’s so complicated.” Not only do you have to walk and talk at the same time, you have to hit a certain mark on the floor, but don’t look down to look for it, you just have to sense where it is. And this is like literally two lines of dialogue and by the end of the night I was sweating. So when you see somebody like Jim Gandolfini doing a 15-minute monologue or these long complicated fight scenes or arguments, over and over again, it just gave me – not that I didn’t already have a healthy respect for what actors do – I really thought, “Wow, this is really hard. Thank God I’m a writer because I would not last 10 minutes as an actor.”

As you mentioned before, you wrote and directed the episode “Walk Like a Man” this season. What was it liking sitting in the director’s chair and did you enjoy the creative freedom of being able to see the episode completed from beginning to end?

It was great. My biggest regret is that I didn’t direct sooner. I had been thinking about it for years and one of the great luxuries is that I had been on the set for certainly every episode I wrote myself. Basically, one of the functions of my job as a producer of the show is to sit on the set with the director and make sure that what’s in the script is actually getting on film in the manner in which we intended. So, I learned a lot over the years and I got to work really closely with some really talented directors and work really closely with the actors, so by the time I was actually directing myself, it was a pretty smooth transition.

That said, it’s a really big responsibility and it’s some high stakes. But, for me it was great. I’ve been on the show for eight years. The cast and crew completely supported me and stepped up and just made my job so easy. It was great, it was a real thrill and really to just work directly one on one with the actors was great, particularly Robert Iler, who I think is enormously talented and just did some incredible stuff for me.

David Chase has said in interviews that he has always known how the show would end. Obviously, you are not at liberty to discuss the plot of the final episode, but, as a writer, do you agree with the way Chase chose to wrap up The Sopranos or would you have chosen to do it differently?

I don’t know. I will say that I thought it was great and I think it will be a very satisfying ending.

Do you have any special plans to watch the last episode?

I am flying to New York with my girlfriend, we will be landing in New York around 6 p.m. and then I’ll be watching it with my family in Brooklyn.

How accurate do you think The Sopranos portrayal of mob life in New Jersey is and what sort of response have you gotten from real life mafia guys?

We hear back from our sources that the actual mob guys really do like the show; they’re very big fans of the show. I had an FBI agent tell me once that every Monday morning, the FBI guys who were on the mob beat would come in and over coffee, discuss The Sopranos and then they would listen to their wiretaps of the mob guys and it would be the mob guys discussing the show.

From what we understand, they really do like it. We got one piece of criticism once early on. Some mob guy got back to us through an FBI agent, I think, and said, “A don doesn’t wear shorts.” Tony was wearing shorts at a barbecue. So we actually used that in the show. At one point, Carmine Lupertazzi Sr. tells Tony, “I heard you were wearing shorts, don’t wear shorts.”

Let’s talk about your new film Brooklyn Rules. In our interview with Chris Caldovino, he mentioned that you based the main characters on him, yourself and your friend Bobby Canzoneri. How much of the film is pulled from real life and how much of it is fictional?

I’d say about 65 to 70 percent is real life and then the 30 percent that veers into the hardcore mob stuff is fiction. Certainly, the core relationships are real, the friendship between the three of us is all real and some of the dialogue is verbatim dialogue of conversations we’ve had growing up – arguments, ball breaking, that sort of stuff. So all that’s real.

For anyone unfamiliar with the film, how would you describe Brooklyn Rules?

It’s a story about three friends growing up in Brooklyn in the 80s whose loyalty to each other is tested when one of them flirts with a life in the mob.

Did that actually happen in real life?

Slightly. Very slightly. But Alec Baldwin portrays a local mob boss. He’s terrific; he’s just great in the movie. Freddie Prinze plays my character, Scott Caan plays Chris’ character and then Jerry Ferrara from Entourage plays my friend Bobby’s character. And then, as you know from interviewing Chris, Chris is actually in the movie playing a different character. And at one point, his fictional character interacts with the fictional version of himself in the movie, which is kind of too much to get your head around.

At one point, me, Bobby and Chris saw a screening of the movie and were just sitting there shaking our heads because watching three actors play you in a film is pretty mindblowing.

Now that The Sopranos has wrapped up, where do you see your career going from here? Do you think you’ll end up working on another television show or would you rather change gears and focus on movies or something else completely?

I’m developing a show for HBO right now, so hopefully I’ll have my own series in a few years. I will also continue to write films as well. The great thing about television is that it actually happens. You can develop a movie for years and it never sees the light of day. If you get a show on the air, you can get an idea, write a script, film it and it’s on the air in three months and people are watching it. It’s very satisfying; you see your work actually come to fruition.

I don’t know that I would necessarily want to work in network television again, which can be fairly frustrating. It’s just sort of writing with handcuffs on. You are just so beholden to advertisers and it’s kind of really difficult writing with the idea of “don’t offend anybody” and “make sure everybody understands every single thing you say the minute you say it.” HBO is so much more freeing and such a great creative environment that I would love to continue my career there and continue to write features as well.

Who in Hollywood would you love to get the chance to work with?

Actually, that dream came true recently. I’m writing a movie for Martin Scorsese to direct and to star Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s a movie based on a book that’s coming out in September that’s called The Wolf of Wall Street. It’s the true story of a guy named Jordan Belfort, who owned a brokerage firm in New York in the ’90s. By the time he was 26, I think he was making over 100 million dollars a year. Ultimately, Jordan went to jail for some security law violations and just had an unbelievable roller coaster ride of a life. It’s just a really, really fun project for me and to be working with Martin Scorsese, the guy who directed the movie that made me get into this in the first place is incredible.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got into writing?

Oh Jesus. I can’t even imagine. I don’t think I could have lasted as a lawyer. I was so unhappy. Man, I don’t know. That is a really good question. Whatever it is, I know it wouldn’t be nine to five and it wouldn’t be stuck behind a desk. I just couldn’t do it.

We’ve got one last thing for you here. We’re going to do a word association.

Nah, I’m not going to do that. I don’t want to do that.

Okay, fair enough. You and Henry Rollins are the two people who have refused our word association, so you are in good company.

(Laughs.) We are often confused for each other.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, June 2007. Brooklyn Rules is in theaters now.

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