Murphy’s Law – Fear and loathing in Boston

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Joel Murphy

Over the past two and a half years, I know that Murphy’s Law has become your bi-weekly source of awesomeness. Like the great athletes or entertainers, I always bring my A-game to this space. Every time I deliver a new column, you are all forced to seek medical attention due to the fact that your sides have just been split with laughter. No matter what is going on in my life or how I am feeling, like the philosopher Dwayne Johnson once said, I always “just bring it.”

However, I must admit, this week I am having trouble summoning the motivation to deliver you the top-shelf wordsmithing you have grown accustomed to. It seems like outside forces are convening all around me to keep me from having the wherewithal to produce a quality column this week.

What has me down this week? Well, several things actually …

First and foremost is today’s date – January 31st, a day which, for me, lives in infamy. For weeks, I have been looking at my calendar with dread, knowing that this day was approaching. You see, today is the one-year anniversary of the day that Boston, the city I live in, was the target of a diabolical terrorist attack.

A sinister group of fear-mongers, intent on bringing Beantown to it’s knees with terror, went around the city putting up devices resembling Lite-Brites that featured the likeness of the Mooninities from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And, upon seeing these small, harmless-looking Lite-Brite-like devices, the citizens of Boston acted the way any group of sane individuals would – they made panicked 911 calls and the city’s bomb squad was called in to destroy the devices.

I still struggle to feel safe in the city. If I even catch a glimpse of the Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim on my television set, I break out in a cold sweat. Today being the one-year anniversary of the attack is forcing me to relive that horrible day. It was a struggle to pull myself out of bed this morning.

However, on any other year, I could find solace in the fact that my birthday is only three days away. As many people get older, they begin to dread their birthday, but not me. I have always enjoyed a day devoted to celebrating the fact that I was born – especially since I get presents and ice cream cake. But, this year, the National Football League decided to schedule the Super Bowl on February 3rd, meaning that I will have to spend my birthday avoiding douchey, arrogant Patriots fans celebrating their inevitable joyless victory over the New York Giants in a game I couldn’t care less about watching.

This isn’t the first time that the NFL has pulled a stunt like this. Perhaps feeling threatened that the XFL had used February 3rd, 2001 as the launch date for their far-superior and much more extreme football league, the NFL pushed the Super Bowl back a week the following year and the New England Patriots victory over the St. Louis Rams was held on February 3, 2002. Still living in Maryland in 2002 and not yet overwhelmed by the copious amounts of media coverage that is devoted to the Patriots, I didn’t mind having the Super Bowl held on my birthday in ’02. However, this year it really irks me.

I’m planning on skipping the Super Bowl altogether this year. I figure I will take advantage of the fact that everyone else in Boston will be glued in front of their television set (or hiding under the beds, still fearful that the Mooninites are taking over the city). Since the streets will be empty, my fiancée and I are planning on going out to dinner and a movie without having to worry about the normal Sunday crowds.

Unfortunately, checking the movie schedule only added to my depression this week. While I was looking for showtimes for There Will Be Blood, I couldn’t help but notice that Meet the Spartans was number one at the box office this past weekend, making $18.7 million in it’s debut. So, just when I thought that Cloverfield‘s success might send a message to the movie studios that audiences want unique, clever films, the morons of America once again ruined it for everyone. So, instead of the dawning of a new golden age of cinema, we will instead be treated to Meet the Cloverfields sometime in 2009, a movie which will probably star Carmen Electra and will likely feature lots of wacky, outdated pop culture references, like Dr. Phil berating the Cloverfield monster for being too fat (the monster will most likely respond be eating Britney Spears – then farting).

With any luck, the return of Lost tonight will be enough to get me out of this funk. But, considering that ABC finds new and exciting ways to annoy me each season (last night’s Pop Up Video-style version of the season three finale being a prime example), I’m not counting on it.

So, I apologize for not being able to muster up my A-game this week. But please take comfort in the fact I still put more effort into this column than Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer put into Meet the Spartans.

Keep your chin up and we’ll meet back here in two weeks. I promise to return with your regularly scheduled dose of awesomeness.

Random Thought of the Week:
The new James Bond film will be called Quantum of Solace. I can only hope this means the film somehow involves Scott Bakula.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.


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Overrated – The words on your t-shirt

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Ned Bitters

This week’s inductee into the “Overrated Hall of Fame” is … the words on your t-shirt.

Perhaps “overrated” isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s more “puzzling” why we need to use our shirts to proclaim to the world what beer we like, what sports apparel company we prefer or how we feel about “fat chix.”

If I weren’t such a lazy bastard, I’d have researched when people first started wearing t-shirts that had something on them. But instead of doing the research, I probably watched a movie or took a nap. So I’m left to speculate. When I see pictures from the 50′s, I don’t see anyone sporting Elvis tour t-shirts or shirts with messages like, “My uncle lost his right leg and both balls on Omaha Beach and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” Maybe shirts with slogans started in the 60s, when the hippies decided that their five-day showerless stinks and perpetual heroin highs didn’t make enough of an anti-establishment statement, so they drew some peace signs and anti-war slogans on their filthy shirts. So I don’t really know when messages on shirts started, but I do know that the practice was in full force by the 70s, because I was a kid at that time and I didn’t own one shirt that didn’t announce to the world that I liked all things related to Pittsburgh sports.

Today, I refuse to wear any shirt with words or pictures. I stopped doing this several years ago when I found myself walking through a grocery store one Saturday morning wearing a Green Day shirt. There I was, a man in my early 40s, somehow needing to make sure that total strangers knew what rock group I liked. It seemed stupid. I haven’t worn a shirt with words on it since.

Why in the hell do people need to declare what they’re all about every time they leave the house? I have no real need to know that you enjoy Corona, or that you visited the Grand Canyon, or that you like the Atlanta Falcons, or that you find Ford superior to Chevy. I’m sure you had a grand time eating dinner at Floyd’s Barbecue Shack in Tennessee, or that you purchased copious amounts of beer at the cleverly named Brew Thru on the Outer Banks, or that Nike is your favorite brand of sneaker. But this is information I’m interested in (just barely) from friends and family only. If you are a stranger, here’s what I want to know about you: Can you drive a car without running me off the road, can you stay out of my goddamn way in a store and are you drunk enough yet to consider coming out to my car to blow me. That’s it. Your visit to Ron Jon’s Surf Shop or Binkie’s Sandwich Emporium, while no doubt one of life’s top memories for you, is info I can live without.

I might be able to understand this if companies were giving out their shirts for free, but that’s seldom the case. People buy these shirts. It’s beyond bizarre that we pay for the privilege of becoming human billboards for companies that are already making jillions of dollars off of our other purchases. It’s not enough that mindless 20-somethings are duped into thinking Yuengling actually tastes good. Now I have to see Joe College wearing the company’s t-shirt. (I’ll probably see this on the news story about these young yahoos waiting in line all night so that they can be some of the first to own whatever is this year’s must-have, overpriced electronic gizmo, which will cost 50 percent less in six months.) It’s not enough that I am assaulted by Coke advertisements on TV, at the theater, at ballgames and even at work. Now I have to see a stretched-to-the-limit Coke insignia on Fat Freda when I’m at the bank. (Note to Freda: You might want to consider a Diet Coke shirt. And maybe a celery and carrot stick hat.)

But they don’t make carrot stick attire, do they? Which brings me to my next point. Why are some company names considered cool for a shirt while others are not? You can wear a shirt with any brand of alcohol, cigarette or soda and it’s acceptable. Wear any sports team’s shirt and no one thinks anything of it. (Unless you’re wearing a Cowboys jersey. Then we all think you’re a fucking tool.) But I’ve yet to see a college kid wearing a shirt proclaiming his allegiance to Sharp televisions. Or Palmolive dishwashing liquid. I’ve yet to see a hot chick with t-shirt indicating her loyalty to Johnsonville Bratwursts. That’s just not cool. But that Nike swoosh that made your t-shirt cost 20 bucks instead of 10? That’s cool.

Just like it’s cool to wear your favorite sports teams’ attire. I was an unpaid human sports billboard most of my life. I had jerseys, t-shirts, sweatshirts and jackets that proclaimed my love of all Pittsburgh sports teams. I wore these well into my 30s. Then I stopped. Not because I kept narrowly avoiding ass-whippings in the Pittsburgh-hating city in which I now live. I just didn’t want to pay millionaire athletes and owners any more money. I’ll be damned if I’ll be one of those middle-aged men who still wear the $200 NHL jerseys to hockey games. Let’s see, I can spend $80 on a ticket, $10 on parking, $30 on beer and food and $149 for the NHL cable package, yet I’m still left feeling like I’m just not supporting the team enough. So let me shell out a couple of C-notes for an authentic game jersey, just on the off chance that a rash of injuries will make the coach scan the crowd and yell, “Hey … Bitters … you got your skates in the car? Well go get ‘em and be ready to hit the ice for period three, cause we need ya … good thing you wore that authentic jersey! (Eh.)”

The vacation shirts perplex me, too. Why do people feel it necessary to announce where they have visited? Perhaps it’s just bragging. “This Fiji shirt means that I am a person of considerable means, which gives me the ability to vacation in exotic lands. Unlike you, ditchdigger.” Is it a way of declaring how they like to spend their free time? “This shirt means that I like watching geysers erupt.” Or, strangest of all, is it a way of telling me where your relatives like to vacation? “I have never had the singular pleasure of visiting Minnesota’s famed Mall of America, but my sister and her family have and this is just the shirt to prove it.” As for beach shirts, well, I can already see that you’ve vacationed at a beach by your wrinkled leathery skin and oozing melanoma sores. Save the $14 you’d spend on a shirt and put it toward your chemotherapy co-pay.

We also have those wannabe comedians who aren’t funny enough to take the stage at the Improv, but apparently are funny enough to choose humorous shirts with which to entertain the rest of us. Hey, I’m not such a crank that I don’t enjoy a good laugh from a funny t-shirt, but the psychology behind the wearing of a funny shirt is a bit weird. Your shirt does not really say that you are witty. It says you recognize someone else’s wit and are willing to pay for the privilege of sharing it with the rest of us. It doesn’t make you George Carlin. It just means you’re probably mildly amusing, yet mostly irritating. Like Carlos Mencia. I guess these people get a self-esteem boost by hearing total strangers say, “Did you see that guy’s shirt … that’s hilarious.” Then the wearer can say to himself, “This confirms that other humans agree with my sense of humor. Ahhhh, satisfaction.” I guess. You got any theories on this one?

Perhaps the only shirts that actually irritate me are those with the overt political statements. These are usually sported by unshaved urban hipsters who have put aside their perpetual sense of world-weary irony to show that they actually care about something. Spare me the cotton-based sermon. Just because you are wearing a “Save Darfur” shirt on your way to Starbuck’s on a hungover Saturday morning does not make you a world-aware humanitarian. It means you read the paper. If you were really into saving Darfur, you’d either be busy haranguing your congressman or you’d be in fucking Sudan. Instead you’re whiling away a Sunday afternoon at Barnes and Noble, browsing through investment books. You probably bought the shirt when you were at some all day “Save the World” music festival, which you attended under the guise of caring but really just to nail the type of chick who is impressed by your faded blue declaration of caring about Africans. Here’s even money you couldn’t locate Sudan on a map. And double or nothing you’ve got a “Mean People Suck” shirt that you’ve worn while berating a waitress for forgetting your cappuccino. And I’ll bet all those winnings on you having used a “Stop Global Warming” shirt to dry off your gas guzzling Escalade.

If you’d like to discuss this more with me in person, I’m easy to locate in public. I’m the only one you’ll see with a plain shirt. Feel free to come up and introduce yourself. I’m willing to talk to almost anyone. Well, almost anyone. Shit, where’s my goddamn “No Fat Chix” shirt …

Ned Bitters is, in fact, overrated. You can contact him at teacherslounge@hobotrashcan.com.

  

Chicken and Milk – That’s okay, my basement was starting to smell, anyway …

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Jeremiah was raised in the deepest part of the darkest jungle. That’s why he smells like adventure. He currently lives in Elkins, WV with his wife, Becky, and son, Isaiah, who is epic and destined to rule the world one day. You can contact him at jeremiahwentz@hobotrashcan.com.

  

One on One with Hassan Johnson

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Photo by Ideal PR, LLC

From a soldier in Avon Barksdale’s army to concerned father who wants a better life for his son, we’ve seen several different sides of Roland “Wee-Bey” Brice. With season five underway, we caught up with Hassan Johnson, who plays Wee-Bey on The Wire, to talk about working on the critically-acclaimed show, his longtime friendship with castmate Method Man and Wee-Bey’s love of fish.

Where are you originally from and where do you call home now?

Basically, I’m from Staten Island, New York – born in Brooklyn, raised in Staten Island, and I call in between time zones my home because I’m always between New York and LA. That’s sort of what turned into my lifestyle for the last four years.

How did you get into acting? How old were you when you started and how did you decide this is what you wanted to do for a living?

I’ve always been interested in being on television, is what I told myself. Whether it was journalism being a news reporter or whether it was an actor, anything that could get me on TV, that’s what I wanted to do was be on television. Never really asked myself what I wanted to do on television and the acting came along when I was in high school and a friend of mine’s girlfriend basically called my bluff and challenged me to go to an open audition, which was Clockers, a Spike Lee film.

You got a part in Clockers. So the first audition you went on, you got?

Yeah, I went to the open call, they liked me, they called me back for an audition – I had several callbacks thereafter, but basically from the open call to the end of the callbacks, I was in the movie, unbeknownst to me, but I had a feeling the whole time.

What was it like having your first role in a Spike Lee movie? Was it overwhelming for you?

Yeah, definitely. Being a high school student, at that time in my life I was playing football, I was really into the ball playing, that’s what I thought I would go to school to do. And when the acting came along, I took the opportunity, of course. It was my senior summer year and I was playing ball – I was supposed to be captain, but I didn’t make it to football camp. My relationship with my coach just kind of went up like whatever and I decided, “Yeah, I think this is what I’m going to do.” Didn’t pursue going to college, the ball playing, anything like that. I just got into acting full-fledged. So it was overwhelming at first just being on set with Spike Lee and all this other talent.

From there, have you had a tough time getting roles or has it been pretty easy for you?

It’s been tough and easy at the same time. When I first got my agent after doing Clockers, something my agent explained to me was, “Since you came up on such a high tier, a high level, it’s going to be hard to face rejection.” That was one jewel that anyone could have dropped on me because most kids do come into this business and if they come into a motion picture principal role right out the gate, it’s like everything’s supposed to be good and you’re a star overnight. I guess just knowing where I was from and just being practical and realistic, she decided to just be down to earth and give me the real and not even let me run off and think it’s going to be this fantasy world where I’m going to be a Hollywood star in the next five years. So it has been a battle that I’ve been able to balance out with some good, so I appreciate everything, all the experience, for sure.

You played Mark in the film Belly. What was it like being a part of that film and working with DMX, Nas and Method Man?

That was also a hell of an experience. I was excited for that because that was another film at the time that when Hype Williams was casting for it, he had an open audition. I told myself I wasn’t going to go to the open audition again – I’ve done that once, I need to take another route to get cast in the film. I ended up getting an audition and that just worked out because Method Man, being from Staten Island, put the word in for me definitely. I think Meth said something to the effect of, “Hype, I can’t be in this movie unless you cast Hass, that’s my brother.” Just being from Staten Island, at the time Wu-Tang having the force that they did in the industry, he definitely stepped up and spoke on my behalf as far as that. I think between that and Hype looking at my audition tape, they decided, “Yeah, this cat is what we need just to balance it out right.”

That was the first film, I don’t know if anyone thinks about it, that really started rappers in the leading role. I mean, all rappers and artists carried the film. You got Method Man, DMX, Nas, T-Boz. That’s pretty much what spawned that. I don’t know if Hype gets his credit or not.

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It’s so beautifully shot, too.

Right, it’s a masterpiece cinematic-wise. It is crazy. It’s like a two hour video.

Were you and Method Man really close before you did the movie?

Yeah, definitely, coming from Staten Island, Park Hill was the neighborhood. Definitely grew up with one another. Him and an older cousin of mine were real close friends. So the rapping always been in their blood and it was just a matter of time before he became a star anyway. Even from being in the neighborhood, he was a pretty popular, charismatic dude, so it was just a matter of time before he got the spotlight and ran with it. So yeah, Meth, we go way back; 80s babies like since I can remember.

And now you and Method Man are both on the best show on television today, The Wire. How did you end up getting cast as Roland “Wee-Bey” Brice and how was your character described to you initially?

Actually, it was funny, I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into because Wee-Bey’s character, along with the rest of them – Avon Barksdale, Stringer Bell – was a real character based on this true story.

So, what happened was, I auditioned for D’Angelo Barksdale, that was Avon Barksdale’s nephew, played by Larry Gilliard, Jr. I think it was the second callback, because I went in for one audition before 9-11 and the callback was during the aftermath of 9-11, once you were able to go back into Manhattan, because they didn’t have access to the city from like Brooklyn, Staten Island, Queens, anything like that.

So once that let up and we were able to go into the city, I had a callback and I was still reading for D’Angelo. What happened was, Clark Johnson leaned over to David Simon, or it was the other way around, and said, “Oh, this is Wee-Bey.” And whoever, whatever, that was, I didn’t know at the time. I just was like, “Whatever.” I left the audition and my agent said, “Yeah, they want to book you for this pilot as Wee-Bey.” I hadn’t even seen a script probably until two or three days before we were filming.

It’s been interesting to see your character develop. In season one, we saw you on the streets. In season two, we got to see Wee-Bey’s life in prison. And in season four, we got to see your character as a father. When did you start to get an idea of what the character was like and where he was headed?

What happened was, Wee-Bey definitely being the significant part of the story that he was, I started to get into it around the wardrobe fitting when I actually did get the script. So I drove down to Baltimore, picked the script up and I started reading it back in Staten Island.

Then I started to embody the character more where I was able to look and understand his role, his position – okay, Wee-Bey’s a soldier, he’s very loyal to Avon and the organization and basically he’s going to carry out his assignments to the fullest. That’s who Wee-Bey was, the cleanup guy. No joke, no mistake about it, he’s getting the job done. So I started to catch a whiff of that real fast.

Then, just filming the pilot also helps you capture and embody the essence of the character. So everyone’s breaking ice now – Wood Harris, Idris Elba, Andre Royo – everyone’s starting to break the ice of their character during the pilot because that was filmed in November. Then we got picked up and we started filming the rest of the episodes for the first season in February of ’02. So, you know what I’m saying, we had a time to let it all sink in and figure out what kind of dynamics we were going to bring to the table now.

Did you know your character would end up in prison at the end of season one? Did David Simon give you any indication of your character’s story arc in advance or were you finding out week to week?

Yeah, week to week, we get the script, that’s definitely how I’d find out. But I wouldn’t say I was blind-sided. Some of what took place on the show with certain characters, people feel they were blind-sided by. But whatever, that’s what the show consisted of. We didn’t get the script for the next week’s episode in our hand until maybe the last day of filming the last episode.

So, when you wrapped on one episode, you went into your trailer and either there was a script waiting for you or there wasn’t. And, what happened was, you picked up the script and you found out if you was going to be offed or not because you would basically skim through. I knew everyone did the same thing – you go in your trailer, get your script, you run through it real fast to see what happens with your character and then you let out a big sigh of relief because you find out, “Okay, I’m going to be working again.” (Laughs.)

That’s really how it was, but I tell people the story all the time where we just really didn’t know what we were doing anyway, we didn’t know how good the show was going to be. We all came with our A game because there’s like 30 principal characters. So we all got speaking lines, so you had to be on point, but I don’t think we really knew what we were putting together until we actually sat down that first Sunday night and saw the premiere. Like, wow, “This is crazy. That’s us? We were doing this?” That’s how it was. Because we were just working like, “Okay, this is some Baltimore shit. What’s going on tonight? Who has to work tomorrow? Are we hanging out?” (Laughs.) That’s what was going on every day on the set. I think that set the tone for what you see now because there were no egos, nobody was trippin’, everyone got along, the chemistry was great.

Photo by Ideal PR, LLC
Did you know you would get to come back for season four as Namond’s father?

Yeah, I did. I didn’t know that, but David Simon always gives you some sort of heads up. If he really has some plans for the character, David will come talk to you at his own discretion, whether it’s a phone call or he pulls you to the side on the set. And he’ll drop a line on you and basically, he said to me, “I got some shit for Wee-Bey. He’s down, but he ain’t out.” And I just had to take his word for it.

And, I think it was after I did the premiere for season three, David told me then, “No, I got you.” Once they got picked up and the ball got rolling for season four and five – because remember, we took a season off and that’s when everybody thought we were done – so, I started getting those calls again and it was like, “Okay, Wee-Bey has his family; his son, his son’s mom, this is what it is now.” So I had to take a different approach – he’s locked up, has this guy learned anything? What type of mood is he in now? And that’s what you got to see in season four.

It was definitely a different side of the character from what we saw in season one, especially at the end of the season, when Wee-Bey lets Namond move in with Bunny Colvin so that his son can avoid the same fate he suffered. It was definitely a change from the soldier who never questioned anything Avon asked him to do in season one.

Right, at the drop of a hat, he’s putting in work with no regard almost. But I think the dynamic of Wee-Bey was that he was this hardened, callous guy that still had a heart because all I wanted Avon’s nephew to do was watch my fish and he sold me out. He thought he was going to die that day.

Wee-Bey’s love of fish is definitely an interesting aspect of the character, like in season two, when Wee-Bey is in prison and he’s upset because the guard smashes the little plastic fish tank he had in his cell.

(Laughs.) Right, yeah he smashed Wee-Bey’s fish. Oh, Wee-Bey’s loving his fish, you know? Come on, let him have his fish. Wee-Bey’s heart was broken behind that. It’s like, “I’m doing my time, I didn’t deserve that.”

Obviously, you can’t give much away, but will we be seeing much of Wee-Bey in season five?

I do make an appearance, I’ll say, and it’s definitely just to close a chapter in a long book of the story of The Wire. I definitely love every minute of it. I don’t regret anything. It has been a hell of an experience. I definitely thank Alexa Fogel for casting me, David Simon and Ed Burns for giving me the opportunity to be a part of that history because it’s definitely history in television genre and everyone will be satisfied, I think, with the outcome, for sure.

Will Wee-Bey be tied in to the storyline with Marlo visiting Avon in prison?

No, it’s something a little more isolated, I would say, where it’s just closure, that’s really all it is. It’s just the last chapter, we close the book and know our guys, really where they are. It is what it is, we’ve got to accept it. One of those type of situations.

Being a part of the show from the beginning, what was it like filming your final episode?

I don’t know, I think me, the type of personality I have, I was ready for it to happen actually. I didn’t think we’d actually get this far to begin with, much less myself. I was told anyway from the beginning that Wee-Bey was only going to be in about three or four episodes and that was it. I had like a slightly recurring role that ended up turning into a series regular for the most part – not technically, but for the most part, I was. And I was one, along with the rest of those characters, who set the tone of the show.

I was kind of ready to be done with it because I’m the type of guy that when I book any job, I’m thinking about the next gig anyway because I know all good things come to an end and I don’t really like to get hung up in the moment too long. I ride the wave as long as it needs to be rode, but I don’t really like to dwell too much. Some people have been sad about the outcome, whether they’ve been killed off the show or there’s been some other political issue. Some people have been sad, but I’ve learned to condition myself to not really let it get to me or takeover where my mind state is at. I love The Wire. I know it can and has the potential to stay on for another five seasons, but that’s just not practical. Somewhere you have to close this book.

You also have had a reoccurring role as Darnell Thibeaux on ER. How did that part come about and what has it been like working on that show?

That was great because of the history that ER holds. And also for a good friend of mine, Mekhi Phifer, being on the show for the past three or four seasons. So really, that’s how all of that became what it is and I got the role of Darnell Thibeaux, who’s Dr. Pratt’s longtime friend from the neighborhood. And basically, I think that was a different take on life also, playing that character. You know, street oriented, but here’s this single parent.

You never really got to understand Darnell and his wife’s situation or why he ended up with his son, but that’s supposed to justify the means to his ends because he has the alcohol problem. And if you’ve seen in some of the episodes where Darnell and Dr. Pratt kind of bump heads because here it is, I have this little boy that I need to take care of and be more responsible with and I’m a little irresponsible.

I’m trying my best, but I’m really feeling sorry for myself. So now I’m drinking, I forget to pick him up from the hospital at the end of his volunteer service and then there’s the time when I get into the accident and hit the junior high school kid that was in the van. So I think it’s a situation where we know these characters, there are a lot of good fathers out there, men by themselves who are trying their best, but there’s really no excuse because I’m feeling sorry for myself. And that landed my character in jail on there and he’s no so bitter about it.

Because we always used to seeing the bitter, angry guy in jail. Wee-Bey also, Wee-Bey’s not bitter. He’s not angry. That’s what we’ve got to come to realize. So it’s a different dynamic to your typical street thug role. I told Dr. Pratt in the last episode I was on last season, “You still my boy. I’d probably still be out there drinking if you didn’t make me turn myself in.” There’s nothing to be bitter about when you know you’re responsible.

Do you get recognized quite a bit out in public?

Yeah, I have to say so. And at the damnedest places and times too. It might be a little kid who knows me from an old music video or it might be an old white lady. I’m serious, it comes from all over the spectrum. People do recognize me for Wee-Bey and other things. But Wee-Bey, I have to definitely credit my stardom and fame to that. A lot of people definitely pay homage to Wee-Bey. Not even Hassan, it’s all about Wee-Bey. That’s a good feeling though.

What do you do to unwind? What kind of hobbies do you have?

Basically, I like to work out. I do a lot of callisthenics. And I’m just getting into a lot of reading now. So I’ll go to the park to work out, I like to do it outdoors and get a lot of fresh air and drink a lot of water. And then, I’m getting into a lot of reading. Staying current on what’s happening, politics, anything, doing my diligence on life and history and stuff like that. I’ve never really been a moviegoer, that type of person. I study film; I have to watch a film maybe two or three times before I know what it’s about because I study the actors and what they individually bring to the table. That’s how I really hone my skills at this point and study and practice.

It’s almost like you are a coach breaking down game film.

Exactly. I’m stopping, I’m rewinding, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got into acting?

I think I would definitely be into photography, that’s something that I also like to do. I think I take pretty good photos. I really capture what I’m trying to take a picture of. So, I think I’d be into some sort of film background if it wasn’t the acting itself.

Photo by Ideal PR, LLC

Tell us something most people don’t know about you.

I’m pretty reserved. I’m not a shy person, I’m real social. But I’m funny in a way where I really don’t like to be around a lot of people. I like to be by myself, I like a lot of me time. And I think I read in an article where Patrick Dempsey said, and I felt just where he was coming from, “The older I’ve gotten, I’ve found myself wanting to be by myself.” I just like being by myself. Because there’s so many shady folks and I’m a real friendly guy and loveable guy, I love people and some people just really don’t deserve that good energy. They like to spew negative energy. I’m big on energy – the type of energy you put out, you get back.

So I try to dodge all of the nonsense and just stay clear. It’s cool to meet new people, you have to network and broaden your horizons. And I do that when I need to and I don’t shut out anyone and I’m not an antisocial person, but the older I’ve gotten, I’m 29 now, I definitely find myself wanting to be alone.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, January 2008. The Wire airs Sunday nights on HBO. Hassan Johnson can be seen in upcoming basketball comedy Frankenhood with Charlie Murphy and DeRay Davis, as well as Thug Passion and A Talent for Trouble, which will be released on DVD later this year.

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Note to Self – Moment of truth

Note to Self No Comments

Brian Murphy

I know the National Football League can do no wrong, has never been more popular and makes an assload of money annually, but I done with it.

Well, maybe not forever, but I am skipping the Super Bowl.

I’ll offer a semi-apology to New England Patriots and New York Giants fans, but I don’t think it’s possible for me to be less excited about the NFL’s biggest game of the year. Honestly, out of every team that made the playoffs this year, this is the least enticing match-up.

Maybe I’m edgy because of the television writer’s strike. I could see that. But much like everything else on television these days, this Super Bowl has a rerun quality to it. That could be because the game was already played once this year (and we know how that went).

That’s why I can say with complete confidence – the Giants have zero chance of winning. I repeat – zero. None. Zilch. Zippy. Eli Manning and friends played their best game of the 2007 season in week 17 and still lost to a semi-inspired Pats squad. Why would things be any different this time around?

Everyone hates head coach Bill Belichick and no one outside of the greater Massachusetts area wants New England to finish the season a perfect 19-0. If they had a consolation game pitting the Green Bay Packers and San Diego Chargers against each other on at the same time as the Super Bowl, I wouldn’t be surprised if it drew comparable ratings – especially outside of the markets of the two Super Bowl teams.

That’s because there’s not one fresh storyline to latch onto. This is going to be the Patriots fourth Super Bowl win in seven years. Bill Belichick is the best coach ever. Got it. Tom Brady is the best quarterback ever. Yawn. Mike Vrabel is a cock. Nothing new there. Why should I even bother tuning in the game? I can’t even hope for a quick glimpse of nipple anymore after Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake ruined that for everyone. Now, the NFL plays it conservative with Tom Petty as the halftime show. And I love Super Bowl commercials, but the best ones will be online the following day. I honestly think I might go take the wife to see the Washington Wizards host the L.A. Lakers that day instead. At least those are two compelling teams that will put on an enjoyable show.

And because we’ve reached the point of insanity where ESPN and all the sportstalk radio stations go 24/7 with their coverage of whether or not Tom Brady wore a cast on his foot this week, I’m doing everything I can to divorce myself from the situation completely.

Which is why I turned to saviors at FOX to save the day.

Have you heard about FOX’s new TV show, Moment of Truth? It’s the show where contestants are quizzed on personal questions and the show uses a lie detector to determine if they’re telling the truth. It’s hosted by former Joe Millionaire and Temptation Island host Mark L. Wahlberg and contestants can win $500,000, as long as they don’t lie in their answers to 21 questions.

Just reading that names and faces from Joe Millionaire were prominently involved was more than enough to get me ready to enjoy some crap TV. And boy, was I in store for all of that and more.

Let me set the scene: a former NFL player named Ty something-or-other volunteers to become the first test subject/guinea pig and answers a few relatively easy questions as his wife and a few friends watch nearby.

Then, the TV show comes back from commercial break and it’s time for a doozy. We get treated to a cameo by former NFL QB Rodney Peete, who asks Ty to recall a “special” detail about his NFL playing days by asking, “Did you ever sneak a peek at another player’s privates while taking a shower?”

“Yes,” Ty replies.

He earns $10,000 for answering that question truthfully.

For his 13th question, Ty, the personal trainer/former NFL player is asked, “Have you ever touched a female client more than you needed to?”

He says, “No.” The lie detector decided that was not the truth and he left with no cash and a severely pissed off wife.

Other questions during the hour-long debut of FOX’s new smash-hit included:

“Have you ever had a sexual fantasy during mass?”

“Are you currently a member of the Hair Club for Men?”

“Do you have a bank account that your girlfriend doesn’t know about?”

If that’s not enough, Moment of Truth is actually a spin-off of a Columbian TV show. Well … I guess I could say a former Columbian TV show. That’s because it was cancelled after a contestant won $25,000 by admitting she had hired someone to kill her husband. Needless to say, the bar is set pretty high for our favorite TV station, and I for one, am looking forward to seeing how long it takes them to one-up that memorable moment. So you can have your Super Bowl, Tom Brady. I’ll be perfectly fine watching washed-up former players embarrass themselves for a chance at a fraction of what you’ll earn on that forgettable Sunday evening.

Brian Murphy is an award-winning sportswriter, and still doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. Contact him at murf@the5holes.com.

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