When Maury Levy had Omar Little on the stand in court, he tried to discredit the witness by saying that Omar profited from the drug trade, making a living off of the suffering of others. Without missing a beat, Omar responded, “Just like you man. I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase.”

It’s ironic that on The Wire, a show focusing on the drug trade in Baltimore, one of the most evil characters is the lawyer who represents the street thugs. But Maury Levy, played brilliantly by Michael Kostroff, is a smarmy, unapologetic villain who fans love to hate. We recently talked to Kostroff about his character, the show and why fans won’t let him pick out a tomato in peace.

Where are you originally from and where do you call home now?

I’m originally from New York City. I’ve been living in Las Angeles for 18 years, so naturally I call New York City home.

How did you get into acting? How old were you when you started and how did you decide this is what you wanted to do for a living?

I believe acting is a calling. Practically out of the womb I was making up shows, talking to imaginary characters or becoming characters. It’s sort of been a lifelong thing. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t know I was going to be an actor.

It’s always hard to answer the “big break” question because there wasn’t one. It was sort of a series of little breaks followed by long periods of unemployment and at a certain point I looked around and I was making a living as an actor.

You have appeared in guest spots on a variety of television shows. What has it been like being a journeyman actor? Is it tough to constantly go onto new sets to play these parts or do you enjoy the variety in the work?

I think one of my favorite things about being an actor is the variety. Variety of roles, variety of settings, going from theatre to TV; it’s really one of my favorite things. In fact, if I’m ever in a play where I can play like 10 or 12 roles as I did in The Producers, that’s Heaven for me because I really like the diversity.

And, I’ve always had a very kind of blue collar philosophy about my acting career. I love the whole journeyman aspect. I always think of it as wheeling my little peddler’s cart through the village, ringing the bell, seeing if anyone needs an actor.

Which of those experiences stand out to you? Was there a particular show you really enjoyed working on?

Well, I think I have a bad reputation for closing shows. I did Studio 60 and then that went off the air. I did The Wedding Bells and that went off the air.

You know, it’s really hard to top The Wire, I have to tell you. That show has been such a joy for me that everything else pales by comparison. So, of my TV work, I can’t off the top of my head think of anything that leaps out.

I had a great time on The Geena Davis Show. I played the school principal who was very nervous around Geena. The character had a big crush on her and would always hit on her whenever she came to visit her kids’ school, so that was kind of a fun part.

When did you first start to realize that The Wire might be something special?
You play Maurice Levy on the best show on television today, The Wire. What attracted you to the show and how was the character described to you initially?

To the first question, it always makes me laugh when actors get asked in interviews, “What drew you to the project?” and nobody tells the truth. The truth is, we like work. (Laughs.) So, you know, a job as an actor is never a bad offer.

We no longer have to keep this a secret - my sister is the executive producer. It was sort of an unusual journey for me getting the role. She called to ask if I wanted to audition for a different role, Barlow, and I didn’t get the part. She said, “The bad news is that you didn’t get the part, but the good news is David Simon would like you to come read for Levy.”

And, I went and auditioned and apparently he looked at the tape and said, “Why are we looking at this? That’s the guy.” So that was the extent of it.

I don’t know that it was ever described to me. With David Simon’s writing, you take the pages and unfold the origami that’s in the wording. You find the clues. And it’s just so brilliantly written that, if you do your homework, you figure out exactly what’s happening in the scene.

I don’t think I really got it until I saw it on television. I thought it was good and I loved the role because it was so different for me, but until I tuned in, I didn’t really get what a great show it was. Then I became as addicted as any fan and I tried to forget what we filmed so I could be surprised every week.

Most of the characters on The Wire operate in shades of gray, but Maury Levy doesn’t really seem to have any redeeming qualities. He’s one of the least likeable characters on the show.

You’ve really hit the nail on the head. That’s an excellent observation. In fact, one of my favorite things about The Wire is the complexities of the characters. You have Wee-Bey, the toughest shooter in the gang, who has to make sure his tropical fish are taken care of when he goes out of town to kill somebody.

And Levy’s one of the few characters whose good side has never been shown. It’s interesting. I have to tell you, at our premiere in Baltimore, we came outside and there was a protest. There were folks protesting the image of black people on the show. And I thought, “Have you taken a look at the portrayal of Jews on the show?” (Laughs.)

Black characters have been portrayed at all ends of the spectrum. I think that’s really a flawed objection because we have wonderful, noble black characters on the show. But I think I’m the entire representation of Jews on the show. (Laughs.) Not so good.

I don’t know exactly why David Simon did that, but I’m glad he never showed the good side of Levy because it’s been much to fun to play an absolute son of a bitch.

Do you think there is a good side to Levy? Do you attempt to round out the character in your head?

Well, I had to find a reason why he did it because you don’t ever want to say, “He’s evil, so he likes doing bad things.” And I decided that for Levy, it was very much about the chess game and he was very proud of being able to win unwinnable cases and make thugs look like people with great potential in society. So, for him, it was sort of the sense of “Aha! See what I did? You didn’t think I could do that. Pretty good, huh?” I think that’s sort of what drives him.

He definitely seems to have a smug satisfaction whenever he wins a case. It’s odd too because as smarmy as the character is, he’s definitely one of those guys you love to hate.

I get that a lot. People like watching Levy and they always smile when they tell me how much they hate me.

I was in the grocery store, picking out tomatoes like you do and, I have to say, I don’t walk around with a constant awareness of the fact that I’m on television. So, I’m buying tomatoes and behind me I hear, “You motherfucking son of a bitch.”

I turned around and I thought, “Did this guy want these particular tomatoes?” And I noticed that he was smiling from ear to ear. It took me a second, then I went, “Oh, you watch The Wire.”

And with a big grin he went, “Yeah, you’re an asshole.” (Laughs.)

There is something likeable about him. And yeah, you’re right, he is very pleased with himself when he has outwitted his opponents. That’s kind of what it’s about. And I think that’s why lawyers admire him. Not because they admire his ethics, but because they do admire his technique.

How often do you get recognized? Does it happen quite a bit?

Fairly frequently, more so now that our fifth season is underway. We have hardcore Wire fans everywhere. I think more often they look at me and they feel like they know me but they can’t quite place me because I’m so different from Levy in real life. I’m a total goofball, I’m just a geek and I’m usually smiling when they meet me and they just can’t put that together.

Obviously you can’t give away anything substantial, but can you give us any indication what is in store for Levy for the rest of season five?

I can tell you that it’s just as ever, more slime, more duplicity, more unscrupulous tactics. As you know, we are all sworn to secrecy, we all sign an agreement saying we won’t say any plotline. I’ve already disappointed those that thought I might end up a minister by the end of the season. That’s not going to happen.

It really kills me that I can’t talk about this season because it’s really, really good. It’s got shocks in it. It will not disappoint and we will not have a Sopranos ending, I can promise you that.

What are some of your favorite moments from the show?

It’s so many little moments that I love. I share this in common with David Simon, he likes the funny moments. I love the “fuck” scene, when the whole dialogue in the scene is fuck. One of my favorite things was when they were trying to use Robert’s Rules of Order for the co-op meeting among the gang members and somebody says something and somebody else says, “Sit down motherfucker, the chair ain’t recognize you yet.”

I just love the richness and the diversity of the characters and how they completely manage to surprise us over and over again. It is hard to pick out a moment, I have to say.

I think most fans would say their favorite Levy moment is when I get knocked down by Omar in the courtroom and kind of exposed as a fraud. That’s a fairly brilliant moment, I think. And I loved working with Michael K. Williams.

Because there are so many characters on the show, many of the actors have never met. I mostly work with certain characters. So, at the premiere this year, I was able to shake hands with Rawls and Carcetti and a bunch of people I’ve never met and tell them I like their work.

So the day that I went to work with Michael K. Williams, I was scared because he’s such a badass on the show. I was nervous to meet him. I came over, very shyly put out my hand and he looked at me and said, “I was afraid to meet you.” Then we ended up having a good old time. He’s just the sweetest man in the world.

The fact that he’s been overlooked in the Emmy nominations is appalling to me. He and Andre Royo have put in just perfect performances year after year, moving and complex, and I don’t understand why they haven’t been nominated.

Having been a part of the show for such a long time, what was it like when the final season wrapped and how do you feel now that the filming of the show is complete?

It’s strange. There’s a really good feeling in moving on. I feel like we made great television and there’s really kind of a proud feeling in putting a hat on it. And at the same time, I don’t want to be overly dramatic, but when I rapped my last scene, I thought, “Maury Levy’s gone. That’s it. There’s no more Maury Levy.” And I thought, “I’m going to miss that son of a bitch. God help me, I can’t believe it but I’m going to miss it.”

So there’s a little sense of loss, but I think much stronger than any sense of loss is the sense of real satisfaction and pride. You know, Maury was only supposed to be on two episodes and they just kept writing me in and I was so flattered by that. Just to be in the company of those actors and for David Simon to want the character to continue is really an honor.

Overall, the feeling is just a really good feeling and I’m excited to move on. In fact, I wanted my next job to be as different as possible from The Wire and I just shot a pilot for Disney just before Thanksgiving. Not only is it a comedy, but it’s a kid’s comedy and I’m the only grownup on it and I play a total wimp. So it’s really nice to have the other end of the spectrum for a change.

What do you do to unwind? What kind of hobbies do you have?

I’m addicted to online Scrabble. I waste way too much time. And I’ll now say what I shouldn’t, I watch horrible reality TV shows. I’m a big American Idol junkie and Top Chef, Project Runway, all that crap that we’re not supposed to watch because it puts actors out of work.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got into acting?

Wow, that’s a great question. It’s a hard question. I’ve always loved theatrical set design, so I guess that would still be in the arts. I think I might have been a therapist. I’m really interested in what makes people tick. I think that drives me as an actor as well. I think I could have very happily become a therapist.

Tell us something most people don’t know about you.

Most people don’t know that not only was I raised on R&B music, but I actually sing that stuff. There are a handful of people who will sometimes call on me to do backup and I’m always the only white guy. I can dance a little too, but I think the main thing that surprises people is that I riff.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, February 2008. The fifth and final season of The Wire airs Sunday nights on HBO.

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Joel Murphy

February 14th, Valentine’s Day. I imagine that right now across this great country of ours, love is in the air. Love might be in the air here in the New England area, but it’s impossible to tell with all of the snow that has been falling outside. After all, nothing says romance like runny noses and bulky winter coats.

Two years ago, in a special Valentine’s Day edition of my popular Things that piss me off column, I wrote: “If you ask me, this holiday is nothing more than some lame excuse by the capitalist charlatans at Hallmark and Hershey’s Chocolate to line their corpulent pockets with even more cash by targeting the naive and ignorant! In other words - I’m single.”

Well, here we are two years later and while I am now engaged to a wonderful girl, my feelings on Valentine’s Day haven’t really changed much. Yes, I love my fiancée, but I don’t really think society needs to set aside a specific day for me to prove that love to her by giving her material possessions. She knows that I love her; I make it a point to tell her every day. I don’t need the clever wordsmiths at Hallmark to act as my wingman; I can tell her how I feel in my own words.

Luckily, the special lady in my life isn’t big on frivolous gifts. She’s not a huge chocolate or candy fan and she doesn’t like getting flowers because they shrivel and die. Her idea of the perfect gift is a Swiffer duster and a pack of cleaning wipes. She’s definitely not looking for me to go overboard today with a grand romantic gesture and for that, I am eternally gratefully. Perhaps that’s why we get along so well.

However, many of you guys out there aren’t so lucky. The ladies in your life are expecting John Cusack-caliber Valentine’s Day plans. They want you standing outside their window holding up a boombox playing “In Your Eyes” or rushing to the airport to stop them from getting on the plane before they leave your life forever. If you were both on a luxury cruise ship that hit an iceberg, they would expect you to float in the icy cold water while they hogged all of the space on a makeshift raft.

That’s because women have seen too many romantic movies. (Luckily, my fiancée doesn’t really like chick flicks - seriously, she’s the greatest woman ever.) Journalists always talk about how young males in this country become desensitized to violence because of what they see in movies and on television. But no one ever talks about the effect all of these romantic movies are having on young girls.

Or the effect that sitting through romantic comedies has on guys, for that matter. Media types always try to twist it and say that if I sit through Rambo or No Country For Old Men that I am more likely to want to commit random acts of violence when I leave the theater. But, I disagree. I am much more likely to want to bludgeon someone with a tire iron after sitting through two hours of Katherine Heigl wearing a variety of bridesmaid dresses than I am after watching two hours of John Rambo disemboweling bad guys.

At least testosterone-fueled guy movies tack on a frivolous love story to appease romantic comedy-loving women. Why can’t chick flicks reciprocate? Sure, occasionally you get a movie like Jerry Maguire that tosses guys a bone by throwing in a few football scenes, but most of these romantic movies are just overflowing with estrogen. Would it really be so tough to add in a scene into 27 Dresses where Katherine Heigl goes to a UFC match to look for single men or a scene in Fool’s Gold where a group of bloodthirsty pirates tries to stop Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson from getting the gold, so a shirtless McConaughey is forced to mow them all down with a semiautomatic machine gun?

But, I digress …

Aside from the yawn-inducing effect these movies have on most guys, the real problem is the affect these chick flicks have on women. Their ridiculous plotlines and cartoonish view of love create unrealistic expectations.

Women spend their whole lives looking for a Lloyd Dobbler or a Harry Burns. They think that they are supposed to meet a guy in a quirky, cute fashion, which will be followed by a brief, but wonderful courtship that will tragically end due after a series of miscommunications. It will look like the two of them will be unable to resolve their differences, but at the last minute, the guy will come up with an elaborate, over the top way to show his love and they will reconcile and kiss as the music starts up and everything fades to black.

The problem is - real life doesn’t work like that. In the real world, there is no fading to black. You never just roll the credits and live happily ever after. In reality, relationships are difficult and problems that arise aren’t usually solved in under two hours.

There are times when the person you love drives you absolutely crazy. But, you endure, because there are other times when everything is going right and you realize how lucky you are to have found someone who truly gets you. It’s not about candlelit dinners or soft-focus walks on the beach, love is about finding someone who you can badmouth your coworkers to while sitting on the couch in a pair of pajama pants.

So keep watching the romantic movies if you want, ladies. But just know that the portrayals of love are about as realistic as Die Hard’s portrayal of police work.

And to the guys who will be sitting through a romantic comedy tonight, my heart goes out to you. I’ll think of you all when I’m surprising the woman I love with some Swiffer dusters and a package of cleaning wipes. Afterwards, I’m going to take her to the movies - to see Rambo.

Random Thought of the Week:

Once John McCain officially secures the Republican nomination, there is talk that he might try to convince Mike Huckabee to be his vice president in order to appease the conservative base. I think McCain should cut out the middle man and get Chuck Norris to be his running mate.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.

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• Introduction
• Bubby and The All American Podcast
• Politics
• End of the writers’ strike
• Peyton’s little brother
• Valentine’s Day plans
• “The Town Crotch” by Jonathan Coulton

Week 43 Spotlight: An All American Valentine’s Day.

On February 16, 2006, David “Bubby” Green posted his first All American Podcast on The Podcast Network. Brian and Joel Murphy served as guest hosts. While The All American Podcast only lasted six episodes, Brian and Joel stole Bubby’s idea and started their on podcast. And thus, Hobo Radio was born.

So when Brian, the ladies man, was unable to pull himself away on Valentine’s Day to do a podcast, Bubby got called in to co-host with Joel.

Can Hobo Radio make it without it’s star player? Does anyone still remember The All American Podcast? Why is Bubby wishing for some Hillary on Coulter action? The answers to these questions and more lie within this week’s show.

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Courtney Enlow

Before Christmas, when only the select few devotees of film fest flickery and the most with-it film buffs had seen this little movie about a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant, people were hailing it as one of the best and funniest films of the year, one of the most original and best written comedies of 2007. People loved this movie.

Then, the wide release happened.

Suddenly, everyone and their Gossip Girl-watching sister had seen it. Suddenly every Forever 21-wearing 15 year old had “Anyone But You” by the Moldy Peaches as their MySpace default song. Suddenly this little indie gem was the Number Two movie in the nation. And then suddenly, the inevitable backlash hit. Suddenly, the movie wasn’t as funny or smart as people had thought before. How had they not noticed it weeks ago? Who talks like that? And Kimya Dawson? Please. She’s a Nico wannabe. Oh they use Velvet Underground and Nico in the soundtrack too? Oh, real original. And how droll, a pro-life message. I hate this movie.

It’s time to chill out people. For starters, why are we all of the sudden getting protective over the Moldy Peaches? No one’s talked about them in years. I think we can all agree, they actually kind of sucked, but who really cares because they only made one album anyway. Seriously.

Look, I know why this happens. God knows I do it too, that’s why I feel I can speak with authority on this subject. And I know why we do it. Not to get analytical on you, but let’s face it, we do this because other kids weren’t nice to us in grade school. Those “popular” kids were mean to us for one reason or another, so the only sources of happiness and understanding became movies and music, stuff that was personal, stuff we could call our own. And that’s great, thank god we have that. But at some point it goes from being different to being elitist. And to be elitist makes you no better than the ones who turned you this way in the first place. The rejection of the mainstream does not make you better than the mainstream, contrary to what we think sometimes. Because, and listen up because I’ll never say this again - John Cusack was wrong. It’s not what you like that matters.

Now granted, I’m being a hypocrite right now. And the fact is, I can look at a totally lame human being and tell you exactly what music and movies they like. This is because I’m kind of terrible. But I’m trying to save you people here. Because really, how many times have you been disappointed when you find out that a song by a band you like was on Grey’s Anatomy? And your opinion of The Shins has changed a bit since Garden State, hasn’t it, even though their music’s gotten even better. And let’s all talk about how after those iPod commercials, we suddenly didn’t love Feist as much as we thought we did.

Now let’s be more honest. If you saw Napoleon Dynamite when it first came out in limited release, before the masses were saying “GOSH!” and “IDIOT!” all the time, you liked it. For some of us, it’s our nature, and it sucks.

I don’t want to be an elitist snob anymore. I had a year at college where I went out of my way to be as mainstream as possible, as kind of an experiment, to be an appreciator of the popular in a world of artsy pretension, because let’s face it, it was the only way to be original, and at that somewhat troubled time in my life, it was the only way I was going to stay sane, because good Christ otherwise I would have been the twee-est indiest little brat you’ve ever met. I worked at Abercrombie, I watched tons of chick flicks, and I loved loved loved Britney. It was kind of a fun social experiment.

Here’s the thing though: even though I wasn’t really being myself, I wasn’t *not* being me. Except the Abercrombie thing, which actually taught me a lesson, because their sweaters are actually quite comfy. But I do love chick flicks and dammit I did love pre-crazy Britney. But this is stuff you’re not supposed to admit if you want to be “cool.” Because somewhere along the way, cool stopped meaning popular and became the opposite. Somewhere along the way, liking things you genuinely like had to become guilty pleasures in order for us to live with ourselves, and that’s ridiculous.

The fact is I’m still going to laugh at people that watch The Hills but when I do that I’m going to think long and hard about the hours I’ve spent defending The OC (no-seriously-it-was-a-genuinely-good-show-all-four-seasons-I-swear.) And I’m going to continue to love Juno even though it’s a huge moneymaker because above +all else, it was a good smart, funny movie.

Why can’t we all just like what we like and not try to outcool each other?

Why can’t we just unite under something real and factual?

Like how awful Dane Cook is.

Courtney Enlow is a writer living in Chicago and working as a corporate shill to pay the bills. You can contact her at courtney@hobotrashcan.com.

Ned Bitters

This week’s inductee into the “Overrated Hall of Fame” is … extravagant engagement stunts.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I was going to go with the overratedness of the blowjob, but I figured I might be shooting myself in the crotch. At next year’s Christmas party, should some liquored up HoboTrashcan staffer (preferably female) feel the desire to suck off ol’ Ned Bitters, I don’t want her remembering this column and changing her mind, figuring I wouldn’t appreciate a drunken rimjob. (Are there any other kind, really?) But the blowjob is overrated. Great, yes, but overrated.

So instead, I decided to pillory something else Valentine’s Day-related: those knuckleheads who turn what should be a special, intimate act between a man and woman (no, not the blowjob), and turn into a pathetic act of narcissism that screams, “Look at me! Aren’t I great! Aren’t I creative!” No, it screams, “Aren’t you a Sears Stanley lifetime guarantee tool?”

You know the scene I’m talking about. The guy at the ballgame who arranges for him and his mortified girlfriend to be on the jumbtron as he kneels in a beer-splattered aisle to pop the question. Or the boob who has some gargantuan banner unfurled on the building across the street while he and his honey share a bag lunch on a park bench. Or the dufus who pays for an airplane to drag a message behind it while the couple lounges on a beach.

Gestures like this should serve a giant red flag to any girl with the sense god gave a gnat. She should see this classless grandstanding as just the tip of his selfish, it’s-really-all-about-me iceberg. Guys who pull these stunts aren’t doing it for their girl. They are doing it all for themselves so that they’ll have a self-aggrandizing tale they can tell to every single fucking person they run into for the next 18 months.

Here’s are a few tips for all you Arrangers of the Big Blowout Bonanza Engagement: Keep the story to yourself, or keep it as short as that pathetic cock you try so desperately to compensate for by driving a Hummer, owning a great dane and embarrassing your woman with the Big Blowout Bonanza Engagement. A man’s engagement tale should never last longer than 30 seconds. Let me give you some examples that are acceptable:

1. I put the ring box in the Christmas tree, and when we were opening presents, I pulled it down and handed it to her. It was really nice. She cried. She said yes. She blew me under the tree. Huh? Oh, it was great and all, but I’d rather have fucked her.

2. I had made dinner at my place, and after the pasta we were sharing our favorite dessert and finishing the wine. When she asked for a napkin, I handed her a ring instead. She cried. She said yes. She blew me right there at the table. Huh? Oh, it was great, but it’s not as good as if she’d straddled me right there at the table.

3. I stuck the ring way up my ass, and she found it when she was fisting me. She cried. She said yes. She washed her hand and arm, then she blew me. Huh? Oh, it was great, but I come harder when she’s fisting me.

Any story longer than one of those means you are insufferably self-obsessed, or incapable of gauging a listener’s interest, or gay.

Don’t involve others in your moment. If you’re not man enough to present the ring and pop the question by your big bad self, you probably aren’t man enough for marriage. Leave out a third party. This includes your waiter, your usher or your warden. Asking a girl to marry you should be, like masturbation, a solo activity. A third party should not have to hold your ring or your balls, respectively.

One final tip for you attention-starved nitwits: don’t capture the moment on film. No one, and I include her mom, her friends, and - in the case of the fisting - your perverted uncle, wants to see this intimate, private moment. It forces us to lie. We smile, we gush, we tell you the moment was sweet or special or moving. But we couldn’t care less. We resent you for wasting our time and energy.

So, if you must be the big man with the big plan at engagement time, go ahead and embarrass yourself and your girl. Just don’t make the rest of us part of your moment. Don’t share the video or wear me out with an endless story about how original and wonderful you are. I might lose my patience, at which time I might be forced to tell you to blow me. Then again, on second thought …

Ned Bitters is, in fact, overrated. You can contact him at teacherslounge@hobotrashcan.com.

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