It’s not every day that a celebrity is willing to go on the record and say he could crush Sylvester Stallone. Anyone willing to step up and make that kind of bold statement is our kind of guy. So when Kenneth Johnson, of The Shield and Saving Grace fame, promises he could beat Sly in less than a second, that’s not something we’ll soon forget.

We recently caught up with Johnson to chat about working with one of the biggest names in porn, getting killed off of a major television show and being the second-best arm wrestler in the world.

Where are you originally from and where do you call home now?

I was born in New Haven, Connecticut, grew up in Guilford and I think when I was in the third grade we moved to Vermont. So Vermont is where I grew up, and LA is definitely my home now – although I’m still a diehard Boston fan for all the sports. I can’t convert to LA after all this time.

How exactly did you get into acting, and when did you decide this is what you wanted to do for a living?

Its weird man, I went to college for like three and a half years trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I lived in Boston for a while and modeled out there a little bit. I flew out to LA just because I kind of talked about it with my friends and I think if you grew up out there you always think “One day I’m going to go to LA and I’m going to go to Hollywood.” You don’t know why, but you just throw it out there. I got on a plane one day and thought, “I’m just going to go to LA and see what happens.”

I was working some, doing some modeling and making some money doing that, and then one of my friends wrote a script. He was friends with Stallone and was a trainer at the gym I was working out at. He wrote a part for me as his best friend in this movie, and I had no idea. He approached me one day and said he wrote this script. The lead guy was his best friend and he wrote it for me. I said I don’t want to do it, and he said, “What do you mean you don’t want to do it?” I said I don’t know how to act, so I don’t want to do it. He said, “But I wrote it for you,” and I said, I don’t know anything about acting. He said, “Please just do this thing for me,” so I said if you get me someone to help me read the lines I’ll do it.

The first day, when I started shooting the first scene, something happened. As soon as we started shooting I felt like this epiphany happened – like something said, “This is what you’re supposed to do.” Right there and then I knew this is what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. From that point on, I started taking classes and got hooked. I had no idea I was going to do it until then.

What was that project called?

I don’t even remember what it was called. It was a student film for, I think, the UCLA/USC film festival.

How tough was it to break into the business? How many auditions did you go to before you landed a role, and was there ever a point where you thought – I may have to do something else with my life?

(Laughs). That’s a funny question. There’s a lot of rejection that goes along with it. I did a lot of auditions for a lot of shows and maybe people didn’t get me back then. I played in The Forbidden Dance, which was my first film that went out in the theaters and maybe a couple of small things, but I auditioned a lot and people just didn’t get me. There might have been something about my speech pattern or rhythm, I don’t know. Sometimes, if people don’t quite get you, they don’t know what to do with you. So they don’t cast you in stuff, and I fell into that for a long time.

I never thought I was going to do anything else. I thought even if I’m starving, I don’t want to do any other job because in my mind I knew this was what I was supposed to do. So I never thought about backing out and doing another job. But I’m sure I went to hundreds of auditions and I learned early on that rejections don’t affect me, if anything, they make me want to try harder.

You’ve appeared in a laundry list of shows, such as Family Matters, Grace Under Fire, Caroline in the City, Just Shoot Me! and Smallville. If you had to pick one, which of these did you enjoy working on the most and what makes that experience stand out?

I really liked Smallville. I enjoyed it because I got to play a superhero villain with powers. They put tattoos on my arms, neck and body and I was just this guy coming off these drugs that they gave him, so he’s jonesing out and all over the place. But he’s got these super powers and at that time, Superman had lost his powers so I was just going around dominating everything. It was pretty crazy, and it was a lot of fun.

We apologize in advance for our curiosity, but what’s it like being in the Red Shoe Diaries? Are the scripts straight out of Penthouse Forums?

(Laughs). The ones that I’ve watched on TV are. The one that I did, we had Ally Sheedy in and this Italian award-winning actress that they flew in to be my love interest. Because of all that, they kept it fairly tame. It wasn’t as Penthouse-y as I’ve seen them.

So you’re trying to tell us you were in the one classy Red Shoe Diaries?

Yeah. When you rent them now, they actually have ours in a four pack. One of the special ones. (Laughs).

You were in Major League III: Back to the Minors with such names as Dennis Haysbert, Scott Bakula and Corbin Bernsen. What was filming that movie like and what did you take away from working with such well-known actors like that?

That one was like a dream come true. I played baseball in college and my dream was to always be a professional player. I obviously didn’t, because I went a different route, but it was great. We went down to South Carolina and they put us up in these homes on the beach. So we’re either on the beach, fishing, swimming or playing baseball. It was like a three month party. It was insanely fun. If I could have lived there for a year and done that I would have.

What position did you play and what did you bring to the table?

I pitched in college. My freshman year I played varsity ball and I pitched. I could throw 91 at that time and was one of the faster pitchers on our team. I know the pros going higher nowadays, but back then that was pretty fast. I could play outfield too, but they thought I was better as a pitcher and kept me there.

You also shared the screen in that movie with a guy by the name of Walton Goggins. Was that the first time you two worked together, and what can you tell us about the guy who went on to play Detective Shane Vendrell on The Shield?

It’s funny, we were with the same agency at that time and we didn’t know it. The first day, before we got to the beach house, he asked if I wanted to toss the ball around. He had said he was really experienced playing ball so I asked him where he played. He said he’d played all the way up to eighth grade and then dropped out. But no one knew it at the time.

We started working out and practicing together, and we shared the beach house together and became best friends. We were tight as can be out there, which is weird because when we got cast for The Shield, we had no idea until the first day of shooting.

In 1998, you shared the screen with Wesley Snipes and Traci Lords in a movie folks might have heard of, an awesome flick called Blade. Could you talk a little bit about working on such a blockbuster hit?

Steve Norrington directed it and I got cast as this guy Traci picks up. They go to this club at this meat-packing plant where these people turn into vampires. It was really fun and this really intense opening scene for the movie that we shot for maybe two weeks in the bloodbath and everything.

Traci was as nice as could be. Obviously a lot of people have seen her work before. I hadn’t, so that was a good thing. I was acting normal, while everyone else was acting weird and giddy. But we actually got along really well and Wesley was very cool to me as well.

You also filmed an episode of one of our favorite shows, Boomtown. How would you describe that experience?

Boomtown was really cool. Donnie Wahlberg was a really cool guy and Vanessa Williams was there. I’m not going to comment on her. It was a really great experience. I know the show got a lot of hype, but I got to play a little bit of a crazy guy and had a lot of fun.

Everything else aside, you’re probably most well known for your role as Detective Curtis Lemansky on FX’s smash-hit, The Shield. What was it like auditioning for the show, and how was the character “Lem” originally described to you?

Originally, the breakdown on him was someone who looked exactly like Michael Chiklis. Shawn Ryan, who created the show, was on another show at the time and he’s bald. So he would put these lemons towels on his head to keep cool and he always smelled like lemons, so people would call him Lemonhead. So he actually made this character based on himself. He ended up casting Michael Chiklis, who looked exactly like him, as the Lemonhead looking guy and my guy didn’t really have a description. He just had to be opposite of what Michael was.

I originally was auditioning for Terry Crowley, the guy who got killed. And then the lady who was casting it said she wanted me to come back in for Lemonhead. They gave me these sides right before I came in and they were really nondescript sides and I didn’t really know what to do with it, so I worked on it and even my friends weren’t happy with it. When I went in there I told Shawn and Clark Johnson, who was directing it, I really have no idea what to do with this guy because everyone else is very specific, but this guy is very neutral. So Shawn says one thing and Clark Johnson says something completely opposite and they kind of argued over it.

What I tried to do when I was auditioned was to please them both, which was a mistake. As soon as I got done reading, I said that f’ing sucked. I said one of you needs to shut the “eff” up and the other needs to tell me what to do so I can focus on just one thing. After I said that, I started thinking in my head that I can’t believe you just said shut the eff up. I’m like, I don’t even know these guys and just tried to do something. I don’t even remember what I did, I just went after it. When I got done I thought I was horrible and embarrassed. Clark Johnson said, “That was a sporty read,” which sounded like an insult and someone else said “buh-bye.” I grabbed my jacket and headed out and I remember CCH Pounder was there and asked me how I did. I just threw my sides in the trash, walked off and thought that was it. I didn’t hear anything for like two and a half weeks until I got a call offering me the part. I thought it was a joke.

We don’t think it’s much of a secret that The Shield is one of the best shows on TV. What about the show do you think sets it apart from everything else, and what have you gotten out of your time with the hit show?

The line they always use is “Does the end justify the means?” in everything we do, it’s always about how far can these guys go and how far can you morally accept what they do. You know, do they make the world a better place? Are they doing more good than bad? There’s so many lines that these guys cross over the years and the more they get away with, opens the door for them to become more corrupt. It just builds and builds and builds.

Shawn is a genius writer. He doesn’t write each show separately. He connects and has these underlying themes that will go throughout an entire season. A lot of other shows don’t do that. And there are so many storylines always going on at once because it’s a very complicated show. I just found it genius. It’s very real. Obviously, the way they shot it was like a docu-drama made it seem real and the writing made it seem real. And it was all scripted. As much as it sometimes sounded improvised, every word is scripted with those guys. They just took television to a whole new ballgame, where you get guys like David Mamet, the guy who directed The Green Mile and all these movie directors wanting to come in to be a part of it because they’re like “I’m not doing TV. I’m doing The Shield.”

Season five took viewers on a wild ride, with the “money train,” the feud between Forest Whitaker’s and Michael Chiklis’ characters and the stunning death of a very key character. Talk to me a little bit about filming that season and what went through your mind when you read the script for the “Of Mice and Lem” episode?

When the season came up, the writers kept saying, “This is the year of Lem.” I was all excited because they were finally taking a chance on me, and then Forest Whitaker was coming in. They finally trusted me and believed in me enough to start going on a storyline with my character, so I was thrilled.

I had just went to Maui and gotten married to my wife Cathleen when my entertainment lawyer heard a rumor. She said, “Kenny, talk to Shawn and find out if anything’s going on. Everyone’s negotiating for season six and we have to do new two-year contracts, and they haven’t called yet.” So I called up and asked,”What’s going on? Is everything alright?” They tell me everything’s fine and say, “You know we promised that if anything was ever going to happen to you we’d call you way in advance and tell you. No, you’re fine. Everything’s cool.”

I got off the phone and Michael was banging on my door because we were on location and ready to shoot in some seedy alleyway. Right before I was about to go out the phone rang, so I picked it up and the executive producer said, “I feel like such an asshole. I lied to you. You’re going to die. They’re going to kill you. I wasn’t supposed to say anything because Shawn didn’t know when it was going to happen and he wanted to be the one to tell you. But you can’t tell anyone – especially Michael.” They thought he was going to go bonkers or something because Michael, Walton and I were best friends, so I had to bite my lip for quite a while.

It was a weird one because I spent three months not saying a word. Eventually Michael and Walton knew something was wrong and would question me, but I wouldn’t say anything. So they started asking other people what was going on. When he found out, Michael said to me, “Look, you give me the word right now and I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen.” I said no. Shawn explained why he wanted this character to die and how he was going to do it was like this Shakespearian tragedy, and it just felt like it went with the show.

I accepted it, but I was also pretty devastated. When I got home that night, I remember walking up the stairs and Cathleen asked how my day went. I lost it. I dropped and started sobbing uncontrollably for like 30 seconds. I finally got up and told her they’re killing me off the show. I was calm as can be after that, but for that 30-second spot, it was a complete breakdown.

Are you still involved with The Shield? Will we be seeing any flashbacks or anything with you in the final season?

I can’t say anything about that. I’m not supposed to say anything. I was around for a few of the episodes for season seven, especially the end, and it’s going to be pretty sick. It’s going to be great.

We need to point out that the two characters you’ve read for on The Shield have both been killed off. You might think these guys were your friends, but apparently they don’t feel the same way about you.

(Laughs). Right. They’re like, “We didn’t get him the first time, so let’s get him this time.”

From there you landed the role of Ham Dewey on Saving Grace. For those not familiar, what can you tell us about your character and the show itself?

He’s a good old Oklahoma boy who prides himself on being the best cop he can. He’s married to a person he’s not in love with. She’s a great girl, but he and Holly Hunter’s character are partners and are sleeping together. He falls more and more in love with her, but overall he’s just a great guy. He’s kind of a badass. He’s got a brother in Iraq, a gay brother who lives in town and runs an art gallery and a brother who is a rock and roll singer in Austin, Texas. It’s cool because there’s this small town feel to everything – these guys drink a lot and do silly stuff – and Holly Hunter’s character has this experience with an angel that gives her an ultimatum that she needs to start changing her life or God is going to take her out. From there, it’s just an exploration of these characters – their lives and what they go through.

It was “Lem” on the first show and now it’s “Ham,” which is really cheesy, on the second show. But they’ve taken the character in a cool direction because they’ve thrown some tragic things that have happened in his life that he has to deal with, and he doesn’t deal with it well. It spirals into things to do with drinking, fighting and passing out – all things that are out of the ordinary for him. He spirals as deep as you can get, and you can tell they’ve really stepped it up with the show this year compared to last year.

Is it true you are a former champion arm wrestler?

No. See there’s no truth to that. I was second in the world and if I wasn’t in first then I’m not a champion. The number one guy in the world at that time was so strong that when I arm wrestled him I realized that I’d never be number one in the world. I could be California’s champion or something like that, but not the world champ. It kind of bums me out, but it’s a reality.

As fans of the movie Over The Top, we have to ask – could you beat Sly Stallone?

Dude, I could kill him. I could probably kill any actor. I have an ongoing thing on any set I’m working on – and maybe I should back out of it because I know there are some ringers coming up – but I always say, “If I can beat you in less than a second, you’ve gotta give me 10 bucks. If you can hold me up for more than a second, I’ll pay you a thousand.” So I get everybody coming around to arm wrestle me and I get to beat people, which is fun.

What goals have you set for your career? What would you like to see yourself accomplish in the future?

I see Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and all these guys doing these incredible characters and roles, and at some point I would love to have a shot at doing some of these really cool films. I like flawed characters. I like anti-heroes and guys who are a little bit out of the ordinary. I hope that this season helps to make people look at me a little bit differently. I would love to do more films. Ultimately, I think that’s everyone’s dream, so I hope it happens.

Which actors out there would you like to work with next?

I would love to work with Clint Eastwood. I’d love to work with Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. Angelina Jolie. Meryl Steep. There’s a million actors and actresses that I’d love to work with. I have such admiration for film actors period. I’m always in awe about what they do and would love to work with so many of them.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got in to acting?

I’d probably do something with kids. I worked at an orphanage for a while, and I like helping children. In college I was in phys ed and corporate fitness and I thought I’d get into something like that, but now I think I’d be happier working with kids. If I knew nothing about acting, then probably something like that.

What do you do to unwind? What hobbies do you have?

Boxing really unwinds me. I play basketball a lot. Golf. I got into golf like seven or eight years ago and totally dig it. I play poker a lot because I like to beat people and win money.

So it’s safe to say you’re pretty competitive in whatever it is you’re doing.

Pretty much. (Laughs).

Tell us something not many people know about you.

That I own … well … my wife owns two small dogs that are under like five pounds each.

Together they might equal one real dog.

(Laughs). That’s what I’m saying. I would never tell anybody that. When I have to walk the dogs, I go by the basketball courts and the guys that play in this NBA entertainment league looked at me, looked down at the dogs, and just shook their heads. I was like, “They’re my wife’s dogs.”

Where we live we can’t have dogs over 10 lbs., so she talked me into these dogs that are not like the kind of dogs I grew up with.

They have cool names though. I picked the names. Blue is the white dog, and the other one – I was watching Rocco Mediate play Tiger Woods a few weeks back and I thought that was a cool name, so we named him that.

I could have said something like I was dyslexic or that I battled bulimia for eight years, but that gets really heavy. But the dogs, that’s simple and embarrassing. I would never tell anyone, and now I did. (Laughs).

What does the future hold for you?

If I wake up tomorrow and get to work on something cool, then I’m happy. I really don’t know. Life is a different journey every day. I’ll just see where it takes me.

Interviewed by Brian Murphy, July 2008. Saving Grace airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on TNT.

The X-Files Revelations Release Date: July 8, 2008 Own it on DVD Directors: Robert Mandel, David Nutter, Daniel Sackheim, Rob Bowman, Clifford Bole, Kim Manners Writers: Chris Carter, James Wong, Glen Morgan, Darin Morgan, Frank Spotnitz, John Shiban, Vince Gilligan, John Shiban Stars: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson MPAA Rating: Unrated HoboTrashcan’s Rating:

In this fast-paced world we live in, six years can seem like an eternity. So, with a six year gap between the end of The X-Files television series and the new movie, X-Files: I Want to Believe, there may be some concern that people have forgotten about Agents Mulder and Scully and their never-ending quest for the truth.

So, in order to re-familiarize moviegoers with The X-Files, Fox has released The X-Files Revelations, a collection of eight X-Files episodes selected by series creator Chris Carter and producer Frank Spotnitz. The DVD cover promises that Revelations is the “essential guide to The X-Files movie” and the official press release from Fox claims that this new DVD includes introductions to each episode from Carter and Spotnitz that reveal why each episode was selected and “how they related to the highly anticipated feature film.”

So first, let’s take a look at the eight episodes selected, then I will address whether or not the DVD delivers what it promises:

Pilot
Season One (Originally aired September 10, 1993)

Written By: Chris Carter
Directed By: Robert Mandel

Since X-Files Revelations is hoping to familiarize people with The X-Files, it’s no surprise that they chose to include the pilot episode. In the episode, Dana Scully is assigned to The X-Files to watch over Fox “Spooky” Mulder and to write reports on whatever the two investigate. The episode introduces the two main characters, features a brief cameo by the Cigarette Smoking Man and reveals the details of Mulder’s sister’s abduction.

While the episode itself is an important introduction to the show’s mythology, like most TV pilots, the episode feels off. The story is solid – a group of teens in Oregon who were abducted by aliens begin mysteriously dying – but the way the episode is shot and a lot of the acting in it just seem off. This episode also doesn’t have the series’ trademark opening sequence, it lacks the dark lighting the show became known for and the fashion in it is questionable at best. So, from a storyline perspective, this is an important episode, but if someone was truly unfamiliar with the show and this was their first exposure to The X-Files, this episode might not make a great first impression.

Interesting side note: This episode ends with a Raiders of the Lost Ark-esque closing shot.

Beyond the Sea
Season One (Originally aired January 7, 1994)

Written By: James Wong, Glen Morgan
Directed By: David Nutter

In his introduction to the episode, Chris Carter says that “Beyond the Sea” is one of his favorite X-Files episodes because it showed what the series could be. It certainly is a great episode and one that is leaps and bounds ahead of the pilot. In it, Scully’s father dies unexpectedly and as she continues to try to soldier on and focus on her work instead of her grief, she begins to believe that death row inmate Luther Lee Boggs is actually psychic, even though Mulder is skeptical.

It’s an interesting episode because it features a role reversal for the two main characters. Also, Brad Dourif does a terrific job as Boggs, which really helps to make the episode so memorable. And, while the fashion is still suspect (Mulder wears wacky ties, Scully has shoulder pads and bad hair), this season one episode is much more inline with the signature look the show developed in later seasons.

Interesting side note: When Scully first comes in to work after her father dies, a concerned Mulder actually calls her “Dana,” which doesn’t happen very often.

The Host
Season Two (Originally aired September 23, 1994)

Written By: Chris Carter
Directed By: Daniel Sackheim

For all intents and purposes, this is a fairly standard “Monster of the Week” episode of The X-Files, meaning that it is a stand-alone episode featuring a mysterious creature. In this episode, the monster is The Flukeman, a sewer-dwelling half-man, half-worm hybrid that attacks people in an effort to store its eggs inside of them.

The episode has a few moments, but overall is easily forgettable. However, it’s interesting to watch because it is one of the first episodes to feature AD Walter Skinner and it gives some insight into his personality. In the end of the episode, he is unphased by the fact that the suspect in the case is a sewer monster and is solely interested in how Mulder reports the facts of the case, which throws Mulder for a loop since he assumes Skinner is one of the bad guys.

Interesting side note: This episode also introduces X, Mulder’s mysterious informant.

Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose
Season Three (Originally aired October 13, 1995)

Written By: Darin Morgan
Directed By: David Nutter

This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite episodes of The X-Files. Clyde Bruckman (played flawlessly by Peter Boyle), is an insurance salesman who can see people’s deaths. While Mulder sees this ability as a gift, Bruckman himself considers it a curse. Mulder and Scully need Bruckman’s help to catch a serial killer who is targeting psychics.

In the introduction to the episode, Frank Spotnitz reveals that the first choice for Clyde Bruckman was Bob Newhart. Honestly though, I’m glad they ended up with Peter Boyle because he makes the episode. His interactions with Mulder and Scully are comical, yet sad and he manages to create a very memorable character.

Interesting side note: When determining whether or not Clyde Bruckman is really psychic, Mulder gives Bruckman a piece of his own New York Knicks t-shirt as a red herring, which is the exact same thing Mulder gives to Luther Lee Boggs in “Beyond the Sea” to prove Boggs is a phony.

Memento Mori
Season Four (Originally aired February 9, 1997)

Written By: Frank Spotnitz, John Shiban, Vince Gilligan, Chris Carter
Directed By: Rob Bowman

This episode is part of The X-Files complex mythology. In it, Scully discovers that she has cancer, which is most likely a result of her abduction. While she is in the hospital attempting to fight the disease, Mulder investigates the cause of her cancer and searches for a way to cure her.

Since this wasn’t meant to be a stand-alone episode, it is difficult to judge it on its own, out of context. “Memento Mori” does a great job of exploring Scully and Mulder’s relationship and it is interesting to see how both characters deal with her illness. The episode also features cameos by The Lone Gunmen and the Cigarette Smoking Man, which are always appreciated. While “Memento Mori” may not make a lot of sense to someone unfamiliar with the show, it does showcase the best of what the mythology episodes had to offer.

Interesting side note: In the introduction, Frank Spotnitz reveals that this episode was written at the last minute when a different episode fell through.

The Post-Modern Prometheus
Season Five (Originally aired November 30, 1997)

Written By: Chris Carter
Directed By: Chris Carter

This episode is a modern take on the old Frankenstein movies. Mulder and Scully are called to a small town to investigate a woman’s claim that she was impregnated by The Great Mutato, a monster with two faces. The monster may be the creation of Dr. Pollidori, a mad scientist living in the town (who is played by J. Peterman himself, John O’Hurley).

If I could only show someone unfamiliar with the show one episode of The X-Files, it would be “The Post-Modern Prometheus.” This episode has everything I love about the show – it’s quirky and funny, yet also incredibly touching. Everything about the episode is perfect – including the musical score and the choice to shoot the entire episode in black and white. Though what makes this episode truly memorable is The Great Mutato’s obsession with Cher, who he feels would love and understand him because of her role in Mask.

Interesting side note: Both Cher and Roseanne expressed an interest in being in The X-Files, so this episode was written for both of them to star in, but neither one of them took the roles written for them.

Bad Blood
Season Five (Originally aired February 22, 1998)

Written By: Vince Gilligan
Directed By: Clifford Bole

“Bad Blood” is a comedic episode of The X-Files that centers around a pizza delivery boy in a small town who Mulder believes is a vampire. The episode begins with Mulder driving a stake through the pizza guy’s chest, only to discover that the vampire fangs in his mouth are fake. The rest of the episode is told in Rashômon fashion, with Mulder and Scully getting their stories straight before meeting with Skinner.

What makes this episode great is the way that Mulder and Scully see each other. The way David Duchovny plays Scully’s over-exuberant version of Mulder and the way Gillian Anderson plays Mulder’s cold, impatient version of Scully are hilarious. The episode is so well done that I am willing to forgive them for giving the pizza delivery vampire neon green eyes, which looks cheesy as hell.

Interesting side note: This is Gillian Anderson’s favorite episode of the series.

Milagro
Season Six (Originally aired April 18, 1999)

Written By: Frank Spotnitz, John Shiban, Chris Carter
Directed By: Kim Manners

While Mulder and Scully investigate a series of murders involving a killer who rips out his victims’ hearts with his bare hands (think Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), a writer living next door to Mulder reveals an unsettling obsession with Scully. As they continue to investigate the crimes, Mulder begins to suspect that the writer next door is actually the killer.

The writer character, Phillip Padgett, is incredibly creepy and annoying – he is one of those pretentious, self-important writers who fills his prose with flowery language (he actually describes Scully’s hair as “titian”) – and it’s hard to believe that Scully would take an interest in him and defend his innocence to Mulder when Padgett clearly seems like an unstable stalker.

This is another episode where the roles are reversed and Mulder is the skeptic while Scully is the believer, so thematically it feels like a retread of “Beyond the Sea,” which is a superior episode. By no means is “Milagro” bad, but I’m not sure why Spotnitz and Carter chose to put it on this DVD when they were only allowed to select eight episodes. It just seems like there are better episodes out there that they could have selected. (Although, what do I know? According to Chris Carter, this is Sean Penn’s favorite episode in the series.)

Interesting side note: Carolyn Keene often describes Nancy Drew’s hair as “titian.”

Overall, I think Carter and Spotnitz did a great job showcasing the wide range of The X-Files. The episodes on this DVD range from serious to comedic and from suspense to science fiction. For people unfamiliar with the show or those looking to reconnect with the series after six years apart, this DVD will certainly help to serve as a refresher course before seeing I Want to Believe.

However, the claim that this DVD is an “essential guide to The X-Files movie” is dubious. While Carter and Spotnitz do give their reason for selecting each episode on this DVD, they never address how the episodes tie-in to the film. It seems that Carter and Spotnitz simply selected eight of the best episodes from the series to showcase what The X-Files has to offer, but there is certainly nothing contained in the DVD that provides any insight into the new film. Outside of a trailer for the film and some discussion of it on the Wondercon panel included in the special features, I Want to Believe is barely mentioned on the DVD. (Although the DVD does come with a free ticket to see the new film, which is a nice perk.)

If you were looking to pick up this DVD to help you prepare for the new film, I suggest you save your money. But, if you are a fan of the show who doesn’t already own the complete series on DVD or someone new to The X-Files who wants to know what all of the fuss is about, this is a worthwhile purchase.

Written by Joel Murphy, July 2008. X-Files Revelations is currently available on DVD. X-Files: I Want to Believe opens in theaters July 25.

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• Outside of the In-Crowd – Ruined by Hollwood

Joel Murphy

After all of the hype surrounding The Dark Knight, now that I have seen the film and raved about how good it is, you would think I would be ready to move on with my life. But instead of just enjoying the film and finding something else to obsess over, I’m already beginning to think about the next installment in the Batman franchise.

I think the big question already on everyone’s mind is: who will be the villain in the next Batman movie? After Heath Ledger’s memorable performance, who can follow in The Joker’s footsteps? While Christopher Nolan himself probably hasn’t figured out an answer to this question yet, I’m going to do my best to figure out a solution this week.

So first, let’s take a look at some of the likely candidates:

The Riddler. The Riddler seems to be the frontrunner in the eyes of most fans (even Gary Oldman mentioned The Riddler as a possible successor to The Joker in a recent interview), but I’m not convinced (mainly because he’s so incredibly lame). Perhaps he could be re-imagined as a darker character who cuts letters out of newspapers and leaves them behind at crime scenes like a serial killer in order to taunt Batman, but I think it’s a long shot.
Vegas Odds: 3:1

The Penguin. Tim Burton already tried to recreate The Penguin in a more gritty and grotesque fashion in Batman Returns. So without either trying to make a dapper, rotund man with an umbrella and a monocle work in the Batman Begins universe or copying what Danny Devito already did, there really is nowhere for Christopher Nolan to go with this character.
Vegas Odds: 6:1

Catwoman. If Nolan attempts to recreate Catwoman to fit into his darker, desolate Gotham City, chances are she will end up being closer to the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons than to Michelle Pfeiffer, so perhaps it’s best to keep her far away from the third Batman movie.
Vegas Odds: 7:1

Poison Ivy. Maybe she could work as a tree-hugging eco-terrorist who blows up companies that destroy the environment, but I don’t see her being interesting enough to be a worthy foil to the Dark Knight.
Vegas Odds: 10:1

Bane. After Joker, Bane is my favorite Batman villain and after the way that Batman and Robin misused him, it would be nice to see how the character would be handled in the capable hands of Christopher Nolan. However, Bane doesn’t really work unless you go full-force with a big screen adaptation of the Knightfall storyline (Bane breaks Batman’s back, etc.) and I don’t really see that happening in the third film.
Vegas Odds: 20:1

Talia al Ghul. Talia is the daughter of Ra’s al Ghul, Liam Neeson’s character in Batman Begins, so inserting her into the new Batman franchise would be logical and easy to pull off. In the comics, Ra’s al Ghul encourages his daughter to date Bruce Wayne, in hopes of bringing Batman over to the dark side. So, if Ra’s al Ghul is still alive in the Chris Nolan franchise (which I believe he is), he could easily send his daughter to Gotham to finish what he started.
Vegas Odds: 2:1

Hugo Strange. Hugo Strange actually predates The Joker and Catwoman in the original Batman comics. Strange is a psychologist who knows Bruce Wayne’s secret identity and wants to become Batman. In the comics, Strange was hired to help bring Batman to justice, which would actually fit quite nicely into the storyline with the way The Dark Knight ended. However, including Strange means that the film will be filled with psychobabble, which, after hearing The Joker talk about his daddy issues in this latest film, is something I would very much like to avoid for a while.
Vegas Odds: 6:1

Deadshot. Deadshot is a deadly accurate assassin featured in the Batman: Gotham Knight DVD, which tied in to the films, so he clearly fits in the universe Nolan has created. But, to make it into the third Batman movie, he would need to lose his incredibly lame Carmen Sandiego outfit and would have to become a lot more interesting that he is right now. At best, he could be a side character hired by the mob to take out Batman, not a main villain in the film.
Vegas Odds: 15:1

Killer Croc. Killer Croc was also in Batman: Gotham Knight; he’s a freak who looks like a crocodile. Nolan could certainly adapt the character to suit his needs, but like Deadshot, Killer Croc just seems too boring to follow The Joker.
Vegas Odds: 25:1

Mr. Freeze. Batman: The Animated Series did its best to give people a reason to care about Mr. Freeze, but after Arnold Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of the character, no one will ever take him seriously on the big screen. Personally, I hate the character and I think it will be “ice to see you” in the unemployment line, Victor Fries.
Vegas Odds: 30:1

Ventriloquist and Scarface. This could be an interesting possibility. In the hands of someone as twisted as Christopher Nolan, a ventriloquist whose dummy commits brutal crimes could be a memorable villain. Still, I doubt it will actually happen.
Vegas Odds: 35:1

Deacon Blackfire. Deacon Blackfire is a religious nut who assembles an army largely made up of homeless men to take on crime in Gotham City. Blackfire eventually gains control of the entire city. With Harvey Dent no longer serving as district attorney, perhaps the city will turn to a religious fanatic to fill the role of Gotham’s white knight and Batman will be forced to take on a beloved, but evil figure.
Vegas Odds: 15:1

The Mad Hatter. Perhaps if he was madeover as a dangerous psychopath, this Lewis Carroll-inspired villain could work, but I don’t see it happening.
Vegas Odds: 40:1

Jimmy Fallon. Just seeing if you’re paying attention. Oh yeah, and I still hate Jimmy Fallon.
Vegas Odds: 1000:1 (unless those douchebag NBC execs who hired him for late night are in charge of casting)

Anarky. Anarky is a believer in anarchism who tries to improve society by destabilizing the government. The character was in part inspired by V from V for Vendetta, so his inclusion in the third film would feel like a knockoff of the Wachowskis’ movie.
Vegas Odds: 80:1

Batzarro. Me thinks this one is a long shot.
Vegas Odds: 100:1

Prometheus. Prometheus was described by his creator Grant Morrison as “the anti-Batman.” His parents were Bonnie and Clyde-esque criminals who were gunned down in front of him, so Prometheus devoted his life to destroying forces of justice. Nolan could explore of parallels of Batman and Prometheus, but ultimately it may seem like a retread of the themes explored in The Dark Knight.
Vegas Odds: 75:1

Gorilla Boss. So there is no chance in hell that this character would actually make it into the Nolan movies, but how could I leave out George “Boss” Dyke, the mob boss who has his brain transplanted into the body of a gorilla?
Vegas Odds: 150:1

So, after looking at all of the likely options, what is my final verdict? I think the best case scenario is that Ra’s al Ghul reemerges to finish what he started in Batman Begins and recruits a powerful villain to do what the Scarecrow couldn’t. My money is on his daughter, Talia al Ghul, but I haven’t ruled out Hugo Strange or The Riddler. There is even a chance that Ra’s al Ghul could bring Two-Face back for the third film.

Of course, I am fully aware that I could be entirely off the mark. Christoper Nolan is a wiser man than I am and there is a good chance he will come up something better than I ever could have imagined. Just as long as he doesn’t decide to put nipples back on to the Batsuit, I think whatever he decides to do will be fantastic.

Random Thought of the Week:
I want to believe … that this new X-Files movie is good. Don’t let me down, Chris Carter.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.

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Jeremiah was raised in the deepest part of the darkest jungle. That’s why he smells like adventure. He currently lives in Elkins, WV with his wife, Becky, and son, Isaiah, who is epic and destined to rule the world one day. You can contact him at jeremiahwentz@hobotrashcan.com.