From the Vault – No Hit Wonder – Breaking up is hard to do

Vick Viggler

[Editor’s Note: For today’s From the Vault, we bring you a column written September 6, 2007 by Vick Viggler. Viggler was a struggling musician who wrote the now defunct “No Hit Wonder” column on HoboTrashcan.]

Breaking up with some one is just a part of life. Unless you’ve lived in a hole your whole life, you’ve broken up with someone at some time.

A relationship with a band is just like a relationship with a woman. You share all the ups, downs, groupies, three-ways …

When you become a rock star like me, your commitment to your band becomes greater than that to any woman.

That’s why it’s so hard for me to admit this, but … I have been cheating on my band Tremulus for a few months now. It pains me because Tremulus and I were together almost three years. But they should have seen it coming. We were just growing apart – no practices and no shows will drive even the most faithful musician away.

A few months ago I started fooling around with another band. I started scouring the seedy musician classified ads on Myspace, and within a few days I found Crash Course.

They too were looking for that special some one. We set up a date for me to audition and we hit it off instantaneously.

We’ve already had a ton of practices and we’ve even played a show.

Look, Tremulus seemed like a really nice band. There were a lot of things I like about them. First of all, the speed at which we played was pretty good. And the guitar solos were blazing. That is until our lead guitarist left. And yet, we pushed on as a three piece, churning out heavier riffs than ever before. But I got tired of having to be the one always buying the beer because I had money and a job. Soon our drummer left and none of us made an effort to find a replacement.

In Crash Course, there are five of us, and the music is even faster and heavier. The four core guys have been playing together for years. As a bass player, I fill a position within the band they so desperately need. And with two awesome, dedicated guitarists there are twice as many solos as with Tremulus. The best part is everybody chips in for beer. We have even filled a pool table with empty beer bottles. This is our joy, because we plan to get some girls to pose nude on the table for an album cover.

I may have given up the comfort of playing in a basement with Tremulus for the extreme weather conditions of a garage with Crash Course, but there seems to be way more women hanging around the new band. And that can only mean good things.

I got to say, this is the end of the line for me and Tremulus. We had a good run, we were hot and maybe someday we’d get to do it again. One day we’ll all be sitting around getting drunk and we’ll hook up for one show. It’ll be one of those sloppy drunk make-up shows you hear about, and it will be awesome, but we’ll regret it the next day. But for now I’m with Crash Course.

And, as far as The Blessed Hellride, that Zakk Wylde cover band I’ve been telling you about, well, we’re just friends. There’s nothing going on between us. Seriously.

Vick Viggler is currently holding his breath for his turn to catch hepatitis from Pamela Anderson.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *