We scan the top newspapers and websites to bring you all of the important news of the day. Then we convert the newspapers into hobo blankets or funny hats.
Here are today’s Hobo Headlines:
- Why do we get the feeling that the Bush administration will magically find bin Laden right before the election?
Frustrated with the lack of leads in their search for Osama bin Laden, U.S. and Pakistani officials plan on using the unmanned but lethal Predator drone spy plane to try to locate him. They have been unable to uncover any reliable information about his whereabouts since 2001.
- It would make more sense if they claimed he was talking about McCain – that guy would look terrible with lipstick.
Yesterday, Barack Obama addressed McCain and Palin’s attempts to separate themselves from President Bush by saying, “You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig.” The Republicans tried to spin it to sound like Obama called Palin a pig and asked for an apology.
- It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
U.S. officials are beginning to speculate that North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il may have serious health problems and may have recently suffered a stroke after he didn’t show up at the country’s 60th-anniversary celebration yesterday. The U.S. is worried that his failing health will make it difficult to proceed with negotiations to dismantle the country’s nuclear arsenal.
[Wall Street Journal]
- Scientists won’t be happy until they kill us all.
International scientists have successfully launched the Large Hadron Collider, a particle-smashing machine that they hope will recreated the conditions of the Big Bang Theory. Critics are worried the experiment could create tiny black holes that could swallow the entire planet.