As I mentioned last week, I’ve been having some trouble coming up with a good Halloween costume. Frankly, people were getting tired of me dressing like a hobo every year and my idea to dress up like a can of soup didn’t really go over any better with everyone here at Hobo Headquarters.
I thought about dressing up as a sexy cheerleader, but then I read Courtney Enlow’s column and realized she would look down on me if I did that. Then I thought about breaking out one of Clinton Portis’ classic characters like Southeast Jerome or Coach Janky Spanky, but after reading Ned Bitters attack on the NFL’s drug policy and Brian Murphy claim that the fate of the election rests on the shoulders of the Washington Redskins, I thought it was best to avoid sports costumes.
So I was truly at a loss for what to do. Then I came across a photo online and suddenly I knew what to do. This year I’ve decided to adopt a small child so that I can go as a chef who is carrying around a delicious lobster baby.
Here’s what’s new on HoboTrashcan.com this week:
Murphy’s Law – It’s time for a change
This Sunday, we will all set our clocks back an hour, officially bringing an end to Daylight Saving Time. But Joel Murphy thinks it’s time for a change – it’s time to stop setting our clocks back every fall and moving them forward every spring. Murphy believes we should keep Daylight Saving Time in place year-round.
Note to Self – No we can’t
Celebrities, pundits and political wonks have been telling you that you need to get out and vote next Tuesday because your vote can make a difference. Brian Murphy disagrees. He believes that this presidential race will be decided by the Washington Redskins and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Outside of the In-Crowd – I am judging you for being dressed like a whore
While Courtney Enlow would love to embrace a holiday that is devoted to wearing silly costumes and getting free candy, she can’t help but get upset whenever she sees a trashy girl in a slutty nurse, slutty pirate wench or slutty bee costume. So this week, Enlow has no choice but to “go Ned Bitters all over your face.”
Overrated – The NFL’s drug policy
No one can really argue that the NFL’s policy banning their players from using steroids and illegal drugs is a bad thing … no one except Ned Bitters, that is. Bitters believes that it is hypocritical for the league to come down on illegal substances when players are popping pain pills and chugging alcohol.
Also make sure to check out our Hobo Radio Podcast, as well as an all-new From the Vault and Recyclables.
– Hobo Stu
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