He’s brought life to a beer swilling, cigar chomping robot and twice saved the world from a horde of underground locusts, but now John DiMaggio faces what is perhaps his most difficult challenge – making Aquaman cool.

DiMaggio is known for his role as Bender the robot on Futurama and Marcus Fenix in the Gears of War video game franchise, but now he can be heard as the voice of Aquaman on Batman: The Brave and The Bold. We recently had an opportunity to talk to DiMaggio about portraying the king of Atlantis, the joys of playing a video game that you star in and the impending robot apocalypse.

You are originally from New Jersey. What was it like growing up there and where do you call home now?

It was great growing up in Jersey because it was so close to the city. I grew up in kind of an interesting suburban neighborhood. And now I live in Los Angeles. I lived in New York for a couple of years because that’s what you do when you’re from Jersey. But I live in Los Angeles now and I love it.

You originally began your career as a standup comedian.

Well actually I was acting and then I went into standup and then I went back into acting. I had a good couple of years – a good six years.

What attracted you to comedy and what was it like starting out? Is it terrifying to get up there in front of the crowd the first time?

Well, I was in a comedy team; we were called Red Johnny and the Round Guy. We were on MTV for a while. So it was a little easier getting on stage with somebody with you. But we came up with Dave Attell and Dave Chappelle. Dane Cook, his first gig was opening for us on the road at this little crappy club in Vermont. It’s pretty funny. I came up with all of those guys. It was a good time and we did well too, but comedy teams just don’t work out.

So I started going back and doing voiceover in New York when I was there and then I auditioned for a show out here, I got it. I did a pilot and then I got fired from it. Then I auditioned for another show and I got it and I came out here to do Chicago Hope. I’ve been out here ever since ’96.

How did you get into voiceover work? Was that something you were always interested in?

It’s interesting because I asked a friend of mine who is an actor, “How do you pay your bills, man?” He said voiceover. I was like, “Really?” He was like, “Oh yeah.” And I had always done a lot of voices in my act and a lot of accents and all that kind of stuff, so I said that’s a natch. That’s easy. So I got my new manager to get me a voiceover agent and she got me one and I booked a job within the first week. It was a Toyota ad for radio. I remember it was an ad campaign. Then I started doing that and when I came out to Los Angeles, instead of it being mostly television and radio commercials, it was more animation. That was a lot of fun, it was a great change.

How do you come up with the voices that you do?

You just kind of have an ear for it. There are people who just have a certain ear for voices. It’s kind of similar to having an ear for music. When you can mimic the cadence of someone’s voice or the pitch of someone’s voice, it just happens. I’ve been making voices since I can remember. I can say that I think everybody who does a lot of voiceover stuff can say the same thing. You just pick up on stuff. I would always be the guy who would imitate teachers or people that I work with. It was just a mimickery thing. What you hear, you incorporate into what you do. That’s all.

Many people know you because of your role as Bender on Futurama. What was it like working on that show and what has it been like to go back and do this recent series of direct-to-dvd releases?

Well anything Futurama, I’m all for. I love the show. I’m very proud of the work that I’ve done – that we’ve done, that everybody on the show’s done. It’s just a great group of people and an extremely, over-abundantly talented writing staff; the most overeducated in Hollywood. Really, they are. They’re ridiculous. But working with that cast and getting that gig – I mean, I had been doing voiceover before I got that job, but that job just really opened up doors. It was just phenomenal.

And to be able to do it again doing these DVDs is spectacular. I just love it. The more I can work with those people, the better off I am in my life because they’re just a great bunch. It’s been a wonderful experience.

It seems like a lot of people discovered that show on cable once it hit syndication.

Pretty much. That’s because Fox hadn’t really promoted it.

So you think it just wasn’t promoted well?

No, it wasn’t promoted well at all. And that was their decision. But good for them, they’ve been kind of slowly coming around and we got to do these movies. And Comedy Central, who picked us up for our second syndication run, has agreed to air the DVDs as original episodes on Comedy Central, which is great. So we’ve got an avenue; we’ve got a place for this stuff to go. So that’s great.

Fox has kind of come around. But it was difficult. The show was on at six o’clock in Chicago on a Sunday during the fall and winter. Everybody’s watching the Bears or the Packers or the Kansas City Chiefs or St. Louis. It was kind of mind boggling because they buried it. But it’s the show that won’t die.

How many Futurama DVDs do you have left?

We have one more that’s going to show up in March, I think, 2009.

One of our theories has always been that robots are eventually going to enslave us all. Having played a robot, did you get any insight into their plans? Do you think you’re prepared?

(Laughs.) Nah, I’m not, but none of us are prepared. We’ll never be prepared for the takeover, man. It’s all coming down, bro. It’s all coming down, man. The robots are going to come and get you, man. Especially old people.

Speaking of apocalypses, we also wanted to ask you about your work on the best video game franchise ever, Gears of War. You are the voice of the main character, Marcus Fenix. What is it like making those games?

A lot of fun. Great gig. Again, the guys over at Epic are a fantastic bunch of people. And the other voiceover actors on the game are really a good bunch of guys. And it’s fun. I love playing the game. It’s really kind of sad because I paused the game to do this interview, so I’m waiting to get back into some hordes, man. I’m going to kill some stuff off before I’ve got to go see my trainer because I live in California; that’s what we do. We fat guys go get a trainer.

Is it surreal to play the game and hear your own voice as you’re going along?

Yeah. You know what’s weird though is when I get angry at the game and I start yelling and I start realizing that I’m actually saying the lines from the game during the game and if anybody is listening outside my apartment, because the windows are open, they’ll be like, “What the hell is that guy doing? Is he talking to himself? Why is he talking so much and saying the same thing over and over and over again?” I don’t know. It’s pretty funny, but it’s a good game and everybody at Microsoft too, they really do a great job promoting the thing.

Doing the voice of Marcus Fenix, does that give you any insight into how to beat Gears of War 2? Does it help you when playing the game to have done the voice?

Nah, when you do the game, when you are doing the voice for the stuff, they tell you what you’re doing. It’s not like you’re just making boring noises and grunts. They’re like, “This is what you’re doing …” They describe it in full. “Okay, you’ve got to pick up a Gatling gun and put it down, so give me that.” So you do that. And it’s for every little thing. There’s a lot of prompts. So it’s interesting. It’s kind of tedious, but it pays off in the end if you get it right. And I think we got it right.

So have they talked to you at all about Gears of War 3?

Nah, I haven’t heard anything. If you hear something, you tell me.

Most recently, you played Aquaman on Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Aquaman is a character that’s had a rough history – he’s not the most liked superhero. He’s been a punching bag at times.

Listen, listen – this is the story about Aquaman, okay. Listen, Superman controls the earth, whatever, right. Well, the earth is made up of 75 percent water. So Aquaman rules that kingdom. That’s huge. Nobody gives him any respect for that. None whatsoever, except himself, which makes him seem so gregarious and egotistical. He’s the king of Atlantis, for crying out loud. You can’t mess with Aquaman. I will break out some hammerheads on you. Forget it. Aquaman, he’s the man.

I’m really excited to play him. It’s a lot of fun. It’s a very broad, broad character. And the way the show is done is really great. It’s gorgeous. It looks great. It’s fun; it’s a lot of fun.

You and Batman already managed to stop your brother from overthrowing you in last week’s episode. What else can we expect from Aquaman in future episodes?

I’m not sure I can really tell you what’s in store, but I can tell you this – “Dawn of the Deadman” is coming up and Michael Rosenbaum from Smallville is playing Deadman. We’re also introducing Speedy, played by Jason Marsden, which is kind of cool. Then there’s some other characters that have been leaked. Green Lantern is James Arnold Taylor. Wildcat, that’s R. Lee Ermey, the sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. That’s pretty heavy. Gary Sturgis is the Bronze Tiger. Plastic Man is coming up. This is pretty cool – Tom Kenny is Plastic Man, which is pretty awesome. Of course you know who Tom Kenny is; he’s Sponge Bob for crying out loud. And Will Friedle, who is a good friend of mine, is playing Blue Beetle. Will and I worked together on Kim Possible, he was Ron Stoppable and I was Doctor Drakken. We got to work together a lot; we had a lot of fun.

It’s nice. The show is really cool because the way it’s drawn up, the way it’s illustrated, all of the character designs and the storyboards, it’s in the style that we grew up with or at least I grew up with – 50s, 60s, 70s. The 70s stuff, that’s what I grew up with. It’s still kid friendly and that’s the thing. Batman, you’ve got to fight some crime, some heavy duty stuff goes down, but it’s not as dark as the other Batman stuff we’ve seen in recent years. It’s like the stuff that we grew up with. We want kids to see stuff that’s a lot of fun, has a lot of action and can be funny, but isn’t as crazy as the stuff that’s on right now.

Diedrich Bader mentioned that for The Brave and The Bold, all of the actors record their lines together as if doing a radio play.

That’s usually the best way to record.

Is that typically the way it’s done?

Well, sometimes you come in and you record alone. But the thing is is that they animate to your voice. So that’s the key thing. If you’re not there with everybody, then you know how to work it out. But when you’re there with everybody, it’s interesting because there is a lot more flow to it and you can react off of what’s going on. But also, if you want to hear what the other actor did before you do your line; you can do that as well. It’s not like you’re in the dark on something.

An ensemble record is a lot of fun if you have the right cast. Right now, I’m working on Penguins of Madagascar, a show for Nick, I’m Rico, one of the penguins, and we all record together and we have a blast. We laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. That’s a lot of fun. Those days, when you get to record like that – remember when you used to go to school in like fifth grade and you had a substitute teacher and it was just the teacher that was like the biggest ball busting teacher that separated you from your friends because they didn’t want you to talk and you come in and it’s a gorgeous day and it’s like springtime and the teacher’s gone and you’ve got this substitute teacher and you get to sit next to the kids that you don’t get to sit next to and you laugh all day and you have a great time and gym class is great; it’s just a great day. That’s what it’s like sometimes when you record. That’s the only way I can compare it. It’s like that.

Were you a comic book guy? Did you read Batman stuff growing up?

Not really. No. I did get a subscription to Spider-man Team-Up when I was a kid. Spider-man teams up with The Falcon was one and Tigre was one. There was “Spider-man and The Not-Ready-For- Prime-Time Players,” that was my favorite. That was awesome. Peter Parker goes to Rockefeller Center to go see Saturday Night Live with Mary Jane and this thing breaks down. It’s Silver Samurai, I think. Something gets sent to John Belushi, it’s like a sword or something like that, this samurai sword. It’s awesome. I don’t have it anymore though. I need to find it. I’ve been to so many Comic-Cons and I haven’t tried to find it. This is killing me. But yeah, I loved that one because I was huge into Saturday Night Live when I was a kid.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got into acting?

Well, if I had graduated college, I could have taught because my family is all teachers. So I could have done that. I could have been a cop. (Laughs.) Yeah, right. But I probably would have worked in the restaurant business. I was working in the restaurant business when I was younger. I worked all over – front and back, cooked in the kitchen, worked in the dining room, bartended, the whole nine yards. Yeah, I’d probably work in the food service industry.

Are you a good cook?

Yeah, I’m a pretty good cook. I can cook.

What is the best thing that you make?

I make a pretty mean chocolate chip pecan pie. I do sausage and peppers, Italian style sausage and peppers. I can sauté all kinds of vegetables. I can do it all. It’s fun. It’s whatever. Give me some ingredients and I’ll make something.

Tell us something most people don’t know about you.

That’s why they don’t know it, because maybe I don’t want them to know. (Laughs.) Man, I’ve got to keep that to myself. I’ve got to have something for me. I like that answer. I’m going to stick with that one.

What does the future hold for you?

The future? I don’t know. I guess if all goes well I’ll just be able to continue doing what I’m doing, hopefully. As long as nobody gets sick of me. I really like what I do and if I could keep doing this, I would be very, very happy. I’m in a good place. I’m in a very good place. I’m a very fortunate individual. And I try and be humble about it and try and do the right thing. As long as I stay on this track, I’ll be fine.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy. Batman: The Brave and The Bold airs Friday nights at 8 p.m. on The Cartoon Network.

You can listen to audio highlights of our interview with John DiMaggio by clicking on the play button below or by subscribing to our Hobo Radio podcast:

Hobo Radio 69 - John DiMaggio from Futurama, Gears of War 2 and Batman: The Brave and The Bold [ 19:09 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Brian Murphy

Here are eight things I know about sports:

1. It really is all about the money.

Free agent pitcher CC Sabathia, by all accounts, wanted to play in California for a National League team. That would lead one to believe he’d either end up in San Francisco or Los Angeles, provided they offer him an acceptable contract offer. So where’s CC going? To play for the New York Yankees, of course. Sabathia has agreed to the largest pitching contract in baseball history, worth more than $160 million over seven years.

Desperate to be relevant again, the Yankees opened up the checkbook and basically told Sabathia “You write how much it’ll take to get you in pinstripes.” And while Sabathia was one of the biggest names in free agency, he’s also easily the biggest body – weighing in at 300 lbs.; so let me ask you, was this a smart move for the Yankees? Handing over $160 million to an already morbidly-obese pitcher who will be 35 years old when this deal is done? I’m not a Yankees fan, but wouldn’t it have been smarter to acquire Johan Santana a year ago, since he’s half the weight and twice the pitcher?

So enjoy your new pitcher Yankees fans, especially in two or three years when he’s too fat to make it to the pitching mound and has to be converted to a designated hitter.

2. Basketball general managers have no accountability.

How long was Isiah Thomas allowed to run the New York Knicks into the ground before someone finally noticed? And the same scenario is currently playing out in Minnesota with Kevin McHale and the Timberwolves.

The Timberwolves fired coach Randy Wittman after starting the season 4-15. Apparently no one was supposed to notice that Minnesota’s talent left the day Kevin Garnett was shipped off to Boston, so Wittman was blamed for not turning his junior varsity team into a championship contender, even though it was McHale who gave Garnett away for a bag of peanuts.

I don’t have anything against Washington Wizards general manager Ernie Grunfeld, but to fire coach Eddie Jordan when Grumfeld was the one who built a team that hasn’t gotten any better in the last three years is a joke. Every other team in the Eastern Conference has improved over the last couple seasons while the Wiz are still waiting for Gilbert Arenas to get healthy and banking on a team of soft jump shooters who don’t play defense to magically beat legitimate championship contenders. Good luck with that.

3. Mike Vick will play in the National Football League again.

How many second chances did Pacman Jones get? He sucker punched the security guard who was hired to babysit him and people still found a way to make excuses for him. Those people who despise Vick for his cruel treatment of animals need to understand that some owner out there is going to take a chance on him and we will see the controversial quarterback playing on Sundays again sooner rather than later. He might be converted to a wide receiver or asked to come off the bench, but Vick will be around – probably running the Wildcat formation for the Dallas Cowboys as soon as he serves any suspension that the commissioner hands down.

4. Hockey is back.

Having superstars like Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby is great. Having competitive teams in markets like New York, Boston and Washington helps even more. Networks like ESPN can try to bury hockey all they want, but the sport is officially back to “top four” status.

5. Golf is nothing without Tiger Woods.

The two biggest names outside of Tiger are Phil Mickelson and Michelle Wie, neither of which has ever been confused with being clutch. Unless you’re a diehard golfer or you tune in to see Wie not make the cut in yet another men’s tournament or Mickelson’s latest meltdown, you’re simply don’t care until Woods is back in action. Fair or not, that’s just the way it is.

6. The Ultimate Fighting Championship is here to stay.

The only way I could see the UFC running into trouble is if president Dana White goes all “Vince McMahon” on us and lets his ego destroy the company. Having his fighters sign their life away or be fired in order for the company to make money off of their likeness is petty. The UFC’s sole focus should be about putting together the best fights possible. If that means working with a non UFC fighter like Fedor Emelianenko, then put your ego aside and make it happen. Your fans deserve it.

7. The Heisman Trophy is meaningless.

Sure, I could have just said that college football still needs a playoff format and have been done with it, but the truth is the biggest trophy in collegiate sports is a joke. Colt McCoy of Texas, Sam Bradford of Oklahoma and Tim Tebow of Florida are all fine players, but here’s my issue – they’re all quarterbacks. In fact, since 2000 seven out of the eight players to receive college’s “most prestigious” award have been quarterbacks.

You mean to tell me that across the entire country over the last decade only one non-quarterback was considered elite? Let’s review the names in Heisman Trophy history since 2000: Chris Weinke of Florida State, Eric Crouch of Nebraska, Carson Palmer of USC, Jason White of Oklahoma, Matt Leinart of USC, Reggie Rush of USC, Troy Smith of Ohio State and Tebow last year. Yes, the Heisman is supposed to recognize excellence in college – not which player will go on to be a great professional player. But when the average sports fan wouldn’t recognize Weinke, Crouch or White if they were bagging our groceries then there’s a flaw in the system.

8. If you listen to Colin Cowherd, I don’t like you as a person.

Really, this one is self explanatory.

Brian Murphy is an award-winning sportswriter who also goes by the name Homer McFanboy. Contact him at murf@homermcfanboy.com.

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Joel Murphy

As our economy sinks deeper and deeper into the financial abyss, we all have to do what we can to make a little extra money this holiday season. Perhaps some of you are getting a second job working as an elf at Santa’s Workshop in your local mall. Or maybe you are planning on manning the wood chipper at a roadside Christmas tree shop. While those are both viable options, one creative entrepreneur had a better plan – 28-year-old Gypsy Lawson tried to make some extra cash by entering the lucrative monkey smuggling market.

Lawson, along with her mother Fran Ogren, was convicted of smuggling and conspiracy to smuggle a monkey, which violates several federal laws, including the Endangered Species Act. While most smugglers simply shove a balloon filled with heroin up their asses, Lawson actually hid a sedated rhesus macaque monkey under her blouse, pretending to be pregnant.

She flew from Bangkok, Thailand to Los Angeles, California. In case you were wondering, that is an 18 hour flight. That means that Lawson’s plan consisted of sedating a monkey and then keeping it under her shirt for 18 hours. Think about how long 18 hours is – then try to imagine having a monkey under your shirt for that length of time. Then add in the great atmosphere that you encounter on any international flight and you can begin to appreciate just how genius this plan truly was.

While the plan may seem pretty cut and dry, it was more involved than you might imagine. Authorities discovered journals and handwritten notes from Lawson and her mother which detailed their attempts to find a monkey small enough to smuggle into the U.S. (because when you are attempting to pull off a criminal conspiracy, it’s always best to take copious notes). According to U.S. Attorney James McDevitt, the journals also described their “acquisition of a small monkey and their experimenting with different medicines to sedate the monkey for their journey home.” I like to imagine Lawson and her mother in lab coats and safety goggles, carefully measuring out monkey sedatives while laughing manically at their brilliant evil plan.

And for all of you young kids out there who are sleeping your way through school, let this be a lesson to you – you should always pay attention in chemistry class because you never know when you might have to figure out the proper dose of sedative to give to a rhesus macaque monkey that you plan on hiding under your shirt for an 18 hour flight.

Now that they have been convicted, Lawson and Ogren are awaiting sentencing, which is scheduled for March 3, 2009. For the smuggling conviction, the pair faces a maximum of 20 years in prison, a $250,000 fine and up to three years of court supervision upon release. The conspiracy to smuggle conviction carries a maximum of five years in prison, a $250,000 fine and as many as three years of court supervision upon release.

While the possibility of 25 years in prison and $500,000 in fines may seem a bit extreme for a couple of harmless monkey smugglers, it’s important to note that rhesus monkeys can carry viruses and parasites that can be transmitted to humans (especially humans that are foolish enough to stuff said monkey under their shirt for 18 hours). Anyone who has seen the movie Outbreak knows how much havoc a single infected monkey can wreak on this country. Luckily, Lawson’s monkey tested negative.

It will be interesting to see how lenient the judge will be on Lawson during sentencing. Will the judge make an example out of her to deter all future monkey smugglers or will the judge show mercy in light of the fact that the monkey wasn’t infected? While she certainly deserves to do some hard time, I hope the judge goes easy on Lawson. After all, her mom named her “Gypsy” for goodness sake. Is it really that surprising that she turned to a life of crime? She was most likely born in the wagon of a travelling show surrounded by tramps and thieves.

Luckily, this story does come with a happy ending. The monkey that she smuggled into the country is now living in a rescue center for abandoned primates. Like so many other immigrants who survived an arduous journey to get to this country, the monkey can now make a new life for himself in America, the land of opportunity. Already, he is no doubt the life of all of the parties held at the rescue center, impressing the other monkeys with his tale of the crazy lady who drugged him and stuffed him down her shirt for 18 hours. God bless America.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.

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The Dark Knight Release Date: December 9, 2008 Own it on DVD and Blu-ray Director: Christopher Nolan Writer: Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan Stars: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman MPAA Rating: PG-13 HoboTrashcan’s Rating:

With The Dark Knight dominating headlines over the summer, exceeding all expectations and breaking box office and IMAX records, writing a review of the movie for its DVD release seems somewhat frivolous. Countless newspapers and Internet sites (including this one) sang the movies praises when it was released in July. Chances are you have either already seen the movie in the theater or you have no interest in ever seeing the film. Either way, you are most likely already familiar with The Dark Knight.

Still, for the sake of this review let’s assume you haven’t heard of The Dark Knight and that you know absolutely nothing about the plot the film. The movie picks up not far from where the 2005 film Batman Begins left off. At the end of Batman Begins, Lt. Jim Gordon tells Batman that a new criminal with “a taste for the theatrical” has started leaving a joker’s card at crime scenes. Batman promises to look into it.

The Dark Knight begins with a bank heist being executed by men in clown masks, quickly introducing us all to the man Gordon was talking about – The Joker. The Joker instantly becomes a force of nature ripping his way through the film, thriving on chaos. He steals money from the mafia and other street gangs, pits people against each other just to see them destroy each other and attempts to make Batman cross the boundaries he has established to justify his own actions. Alfred explains to Batman that The Joker just wants “to watch the world burn.”

Elsewhere in Gotham, Batman has inspired others to stand up against criminals. A few citizens have become copycat Batmen who wear homemade costumes and attempt to stop crime by force. Lt. Gordon is now running a handpicked division that is secretly working with Batman and is attempting to overcome the corruption inside the police force to bring down criminals and make the charges stick. There is also a new District Attorney named Harvey Dent who is fearless and willing to prosecute Gotham’s shadiest criminals, whiling putting his own life in danger.

Dent is dating Assistant District Attorney Rachel Dawes, Bruce Wayne’s childhood friend and love interest in Batman Begins (Katie Holmes played Dawes in the first film, but she has been replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal). While Bruce is definitely jealous that Rachel has moved on and is dating someone else, he genuinely likes Dent and believes that Dent’s work may help bring about a day where Batman is no longer needed.

Overall, the film is considerably darker than Batman Begins and every other Batman film ever made (long gone are the days of nippled Batsuits and utility belts filled with shark repellent spray). What’s most interesting is that it’s not just a great superhero movie; it’s a great movie. Director Christopher Nolan has done such a great job making a convincing world and well-developed characters that it’s easy to forget you are watching a film about a man in a giant bat costume. To be completely honest, many of the films best scenes take place when Christian Bale isn’t wearing the costume at all and is simply playing Bruce Wayne.

Bale does an excellent job in the lead role, which should come as no surprise to anyone who saw Batman Begins. Ever since American Psycho, Bale has shown that he can play a complex character who is attempting to juggle two distinct personas. My only complaint is that his “Batman voice” is rather ridiculous. I applaud Bale for attempting to find a way to distinguish Bruce Wayne’s voice and Batman’s, but the low growl that he uses when wearing the Batsuit makes him sound more like Cookie Monster than Batman. He uses the same growling voice in Batman Begins, but Batman didn’t have much dialogue in that film, so it isn’t as noticeable. This time around, Nolan has given Batman substantially more dialogue, including a few important speeches late in the film, which all end up sounding rather silly. Perhaps Bale would have been better off adopting an Alec Baldwin-esque whisper voice when delivering Batman’s lines.

There was a lot of speculation and hype surrounding Heath Ledger’s portrayal of The Joker, especially since the actor tragically died before the film was released. Most critics agreed that he gave an amazing performance and there continues to be Oscar buzz surrounding the role. I am happy to say that Ledger lives up to the hype. His portrayal of The Joker is absolutely fantastic and he deserves all of the praise he has received. He plays the role perfectly, even outshining Jack Nicholson, who played The Joker in Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman film. It is truly a shame that he died before seeing the finished film. It’s also both a blessing and a curse that he did such a good job in the role that I can’t possibly imagine them attempting to recast the role of The Joker if Christopher Nolan comes back for a third Batman film.

The rest of the cast is also highly enjoyable. Aaron Eckhart creates a very likeable and fun to watch Harvey Dent. Maggie Gyllenhaal manages to take a character who was utterly forgettable in the first film and make people actually care about her. Gary Oldman is great, as he always is, although a few times when he is shouting, Jim Gordon loses his American accent. As you would expect, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine are also both phenomenal and provide some of the film’s best lines.

The film itself is well-paced and beautifully shot. Nolan shot several key sequences in IMAX, which makes them really pop. The film of course looked great this summer in theaters, but I am happy to report that it looked equally as wonderful at home on my television. I would recommend picking up the Blu-ray version if you have a high def TV, but the regular version looks great as well.

One thing that continues to bothers me about Nolan’s Batman films is the way he shoots action scenes. Nolan relies too heavily on quick cuts and shaky cameras. In this film, one of the biggest, most action-packed scenes is a car chase featuring Batman in the Batmobile, Harvey Dent in a police vehicle and The Joker in an 18-wheeler. It had the potential to be a truly memorable action scene, but instead the quick cuts make it confusing and nauseating to watch. At times it feels more like watching an amateur home video instead of a big budget studio film. The rest of the film more than makes up for this annoyance, but it is frustrating that in an action film, the action scenes aren’t always fun to watch (especially when you couple that with the fact that in a Batman film, it’s difficult to listen to Batman talk).

While the film isn’t perfect, it’s perhaps as close to perfect as a Batman film will ever be. It’s a film that raises the bar for all future comic book movies and shows what you can do with the genre. In the film, Lt. Gordon says that Batman is “the hero Gotham deserves.” After Joel Schumacher’s campy Batman films and Tim Burton’s films that strayed too far from the source material, The Dark Knight is finally the film Batman fans deserve.

Written by Joel Murphy. The Dark Knight is available on DVD and Blu-ray today. For more Dark Knight fun, you can put together a movie themed puzzle by visiting TheDarkKnightPuzzle.com or you can personalize your website/social networking site with Dark Knight characters by visiting My-DarkKnight.com.

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Ned Bitters

This week’s inductee into the “Overrated Hall of Fame” is … more Christmas Songs.

That’s right, Uncle Ebenezer Grinch is back to rip the feel-good spirit out of another batch of Christmas dreck. The next time you’re in your car and you hear one of these songs, try actually listening to the words instead of just singing along like the unthinking sheep you’ve become. If my words take even a smidgen of joy out of your holiday season, well, don’t hate me. That wouldn’t be in the Christmas spirit.

Jingle Bells and Sleigh Ride: Let’s see. It’s nighttime, and outside here’s a foot of snow and a sub-zero wind chill. I can choose to stay inside, look at my tree, pour a stiff drink and bask in the warmth of my fireplace. Or, if feeling overly masochistic and easily swayed by a silly holiday ditty, I can head out into the bitter cold night, jump on the back of a sleigh and, in the spirit of winter fun, do the following: risk pneumonia; dodge flying horseshit; suffer a jingle-bell induced migraine; and court paralysis from an overturned sled. Sounds to me like a George W. Bush decision – a no-brainer.

Santa Baby: Here’s a joyful ode that perpetuates the stereotype of the materialistic, greedy devil-woman intent on bleeding her man’s wallet dry through the acquisition gaudy garbage. The song is nothing but a list of crap the twit wants. Only the trashiest of shallow wenches would craft a Christmas list this crass. The Christ-like yuletide message here is, “I’ll trade you pussy for some expensive bling.” The song should be retitled, “O, Whorey Night.”

Winter Wonderland/Let It Snow: Only during the four weeks leading up to Christmas do people gleefully extol the endless joys of horrible weather. Blizzards and icy roads kill hundreds of Americans every year, yet in December, we raise our voices in tribute to these meteorological killers. If we can sing the praises of winter storms, where are the hymns to the bliss brought on by hurricanes, tornadoes and thunderstorms? I don’t recall Perry Como singing “Let It Lightning” or Bing Crosby crooning “O Come, All Ye Typhoons.”

I Wish Every Day Could Be Like Christmas: Yeah, great idea. Here’s what your world would be like if the other 364 days of the year were just like Christmas Day: There’d be nothing but shit on TV, you’d have to grocery shop at 7-11, your ham-gorged relatives would be napping on your couch and the only restaurant option would be the hospital cafeteria. Not enough to sell you on an endless string of Christmas days? Consider this, Father Christmas. The bars are all closed.

Blue Christmas: More people kill themselves around Christmas than at any other time of the year, and nothing goes better with suicide than a bleak song mourning the fact that your loved one has left you, forcing you to endure the holiday season alone, unloved, unwanted and unfucked. I wonder if the sadistic prick who wrote this song first played around with “Herpes Hannukah” and “No Job New Years” before settling on this dirge.

Feliz Navidad: Here’s a surefire formula for striking it rich in the music world. Translate the phrase “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” into another language. Set it to music. Have some blind guy repeat it over and over for four minutes. Add no other lyrics. Have song played every twenty minutes on whatever local station in your area does the “nothing but Christmas songs from now until Christmas day!” shtick. Collect royalty checks for forty years.

Do They Know It’s Christmas?: Ah, Christmas. One more month of Americans ignoring the rest of the world’s problems. Then around December 4th, Bono and friends show up on the radio singing a bleak reminder about linguine-thin Africans starving in the desert. C’mon, Band Aid, give us a break. Don’t do this to us at Christmas. Even during the other eleven months of the year, Americans don’t think about other countries unless we’re eating their food or blowing them up. Save this song for March, and instead make us feel guilty about our St. Patrick’s day indulging. We’ll be too drunk to feel too bad about it then.

Happy Christmas (War is Over): Perhaps one of the two best songs John Lennon ever wrote. It’s perfect in the simplicity of its message, and quite beautiful despite the presence of Yoko’s voice. What’s that? How can I pick on this song? Easy. Because Lennon’s vision is absurd. This is America. We love war

I Saw Three Ships: If I understand this correctly, seeing three ships is an accomplishment worth noting in song? Does this song celebrate Christmas, or the gift of sight and the ability to differentiate between modes of transport? If the latter, why not have an entire album of songs lauding the stunning visual coup of spotting human conveyances. We could have “I Saw Two Chevys and a Hyundai on My Way to the Bank Just Now,” “Look, Up There in The Sky … An Actual Air-O-Plane” and “Lo, Is That an ATV on Yon Horizon?” Any of those heroic deeds is as impressive as the much celebrated sighting of a trio of boats.

Now, if the blind bastard who sings “Feliz Navidad” saw the boats, then we’d have reason for a song.

Ned Bitters is, in fact, overrated. You can contact him at teacherslounge@hobotrashcan.com.

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• Overrated – More Christmas songs
• Hobo Radio 70 – We wish you a Merry Christmas
• Murphy’s Law – The true meaning of Christmas
• Murphy’s Law – The true meaning of Christmas
• Hobo Radio 111 – It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas