It’s safe to say that
anyone subjected to boring orientation videos on the first day of a new job has undoubtedly wished they were watching something half as interesting as the Dharma initiative videos featuring Dr. Pierre Chang. That’s because pockets of energy and time-traveling bunnies beat out retirement planning and breakroom etiquette any day of the week.

Playing Dr. Chang on Lost is François Chau, an actor with nearly 30 years in the business. We recently talked to Chau about working on such a hit show, his bowling prowess and the realization that Dr. Chang is really kind of an asshole.

How did you get into acting and when did you decide this is what you wanted to do for a living?

I became interested when I was in high school. I went to an all-boy prep school and by about junior year I was trying to figure out a way to meet girls, so I went to a girl’s school and auditioned for shows there. I started doing them and I kind of got hooked. From then on, I went to university and then came out to LA to try my luck.

What was it like starting out? Were you one of those people that were able to work pretty early on or were there long stretches of unemployment?

No, you know what; I was one of the lucky ones. I’ve been making a living at it for almost 30 years now, so when I came out to LA pretty much I got a commercial agent and then I started doing some commercials. I pretty much started working from then on. Nothing too steady at first, but enough to keep me going. After a few years, I started doing a lot of TV shows and stuff and have been doing that pretty much ever since.

One of your first roles was the voice of Quick Kick on G.I. Joe. How did that come about?

They were auditioning guys for the new character Quick Kick that they were coming up with. All the characters had their own little specialties and Quick Kick was a former Hollywood stunt man. (Laughs.) And he was supposed to do all these cheesy impressions so I went in there and did my cheesiest you know whatever they had, like John Wayne and all that stuff. I mean it was pretty bad, actually it was supposed to be bad. That’s how I got the gig.

You played Shredder in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie as well.

Yeah, I did the second one. Actually, my friend James Saito was The Shredder in the first one. And then they did the second one. They changed the whole cast and I’m not sure why, but anyways they were looking for a new guy so I auditioned and I got that. Yeah, that was pretty fun. It was very popular then, almost 20 years ago. Most of the movie, all you could see was my eyes because I was wearing that helmet that covered most of my face, but kids still recognized me. I met some little kid and he was all like: “Oh my god, it’s you!” and I said, “How do you know it’s me, all you could see is my eyes?” It’s amazing what these kids can pick up.

They’ve also all seen it a hundred times at that point, too.

Exactly.

You’ve also had guest roles on a number of memorable TV shows like Baywatch, McGyver, ER, Melrose Place, Walker, Texas Ranger and 24. Do you enjoy these guest spots on shows and the variety of work they offer or is that just how your career has worked out?

It’s kind of both. After I finished college, most of my friends went to New York to do live theater and so forth. But I knew I could never make a living doing live theater, so I came out to LA to do film and TV. Once I started doing it, I really, really loved doing it. I mean not just the acting. For some reason, I loved to go to work, be on the set and hang out to see what everyone else was doing and just listen. And I’ve never, so far anyway, it hasn’t gotten tiring to me. So every time I get a job, on a guest spot or doing a couple weeks on a feature or something, it’s great. I love going to work, hanging out and just doing my thing. When I was young, I think my first gig was Hill Street Blues and I played a gang leader. From then on, I’ve played quite a few gang leaders and as I got older I kind of got promoted to the boss guy in the Armani suit, you know, the drug lord guy. So I did a lot of guest spots doing that. Later on I started doing work as cops and doctors and stuff, but mostly my stuff has been the bad guys.

Many actors say it’s always more fun to play the villains. Is that true for you?

Actually, no. Whatever I do, it’s fun. For me, as long as I’m working, that’s pretty fun.

You played Mr. Cho in an episode of Alias. What it was like being on that show and did that have anything to do with you getting cast on Lost or was it just a coincidence that you worked on that J.J. Abrams show as well?

Well, when I did Alias, the casting director was April Webster and she was also casting Lost. I’d known her for years; she’d cast a couple of things before that. So I don’t think working on Alias had anything to do with me getting the job on Lost. Just the fact that I knew April and she brought me into Lost, that’s how I got the Lost gig. Alias was fun, before getting on the show I always taped it and watched it and I was like, “Hey I’ve got to get on this show one of these days.” When I got the call, I was like, “Hey, alright!” And I got to work with Isabella Rossellini, which was pretty amazing. I would have paid them to do the gig.

Was that the case with Lost too? Were you actually a fan of Lost before you came on it?

In the first season, I watched the pilot and the first couple of episodes and I thought it was pretty interesting. But then I missed a couple of them and it’s a show that if you miss, you’re sort of playing catch up the rest of the time. My schedule was kind of busy on and off and I missed a bunch of them, so I sort of stopped watching them for a while because I didn’t know what was going on anymore. And then once I got the job; even then, I didn’t start watching them faithfully until – I hate to say this – but probably about the third season where I would watch it because I got caught up in it, but also because people would start asking me a lot of questions. I kept saying, “Aw jeez, I don’t know who that character is” or “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” After a while I thought I better bone up on this so I don’t sound like an idiot when these fans start asking me stuff. So, pretty much from the third season I’ve been pretty faithful to it.

When you came on the show in season two you were used to further the mythology of the show and your appearance when you’re in the orientation video was a big moment for the fans. What did they tell you before you did the orientation video? Did they tell you anything about the character or did you just come in and they told you what to do?

No, they didn’t tell me anything. The audition was basically the orientation film. It was like a two or three page monologue. I got the pages and I was like, “Wow,” because I usually try to memorize all my stuff for when I go in but this was like three minutes of just nothing but me yapping away. I tried to memorize it and I got in there and went through it and after I finished it I was like, “Hey wow, I got through it.”

To this day, I suspect it’s one of the reasons they cast me is because I was one of the few guys who memorized it and got through it all. I think it was just supposed to be just a one-shot gig and that was it. And speaking of Alias, we filmed it on the set of Alias, the first orientation film. We came in at the end of the day after Alias finished shooting and then the crew stayed on and we shot the little orientation film and I thought that was it. But then a couple months later they called and said, “Hey, we’re gonna add some more stuff” and then after that it was more and more stuff, which was fine with me.

Each time you came in, did you think it was your last shot or at some point did they pull you aside and let you know they were going to be using you more down the road?

Season five was when they called and said, “We’re going to do something with this character and we’re going to guarantee at least seven episodes in season five.” I was very happy to hear that. But before that I think I did two or three episodes per season of just the orientation films.

I kind of got an inkling that it might be something more when I showed up on the set in Hawaii and they gave me the script the night before and it was another orientation film but the name was totally different. I think I started out as Doctor Candle and then one time I was Doctor Wickman and I thought, “Wow, this is interesting. I have no idea what’s going on but maybe they’ll keep giving me stuff with different names and things and we’ll see happens.” Yeah, I think up until I got the second character I thought, “Hmm, this gig might last longer than I thought it would.” Even now, they call me and they give me maybe a two or three week warning. They’ll give me certain dates and say, “Hey, in between these dates we’re probably going to use you for a couple days so keep it open” and that’s how it’s worked ever since.

Continue reading this post

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Joel Murphy

If you are looking for somewhere to shoot your movie about a chain-smoking homosexual nudist who stabs people for using foul language, I don’t recommend heading to Florida.

It seems that Florida state representative Stephen Precourt doesn’t want films shooting in his state that feature what he calls “nontraditional family values.” In fact, Precourt is so committed to this goal that he is proposing a $75 million incentive package for filmmakers who come to Florida to make “traditional” family films.

According to the bill, to be eligible for the incentive package, films would have to meet the following criteria: “A certified production determined by the Commissioner of Film and Entertainment, with the advice of the Florida Film and Entertainment Advisory Council, to be family-friendly … Family-friendly productions are those that have cross-generational appeal; would be considered suitable for viewing by children age five or older … and do not exhibit or imply any act of smoking, sex, nudity, nontraditional family values, gratuitous violence, or vulgar or profane language.”

Precourt further explained his position to The Palm Beach Post. “Think of it as like Mayberry,” Precourt said. “That’s when I grew up – the ’60s. That’s what life was like. I want Florida to be known for making those kinds of movies: Disney movies for kids and all that stuff. Like it used to be, you know?”

Yes, life was exactly like Mayberry back in the 60s. Locking alcoholics up in jail was a laugh riot, there were no black people in the United States and at the end of the day, we all learned valuable life lessons.

When will people learn that the good old days never existed? Life was not any better in the 60s. There were race riots. Women could either stay at home raising the kids or they could take a low paying job where they battled against rampant sexism and an impenetrable glass ceiling. Not to mention the fact that soldiers were dying left and right in Vietnam and the ones who did make it home were spit at and called baby killers.

So fuck your good old days, Stephen Precourt. I think I prefer living in a world with a black President, an Academy Award winning female director and people who don’t approve of the war, but still respect and honor the soldiers involved. Not to mention a world with Chipotle, HD TVs with 500 channels and an Internet full of porn.

I have no problem with making movies specifically for kids, but it pisses me off knowing that you only want to see movies that feature some mythical nuclear family that never really existed. It’s pretty narrow-minded to exclude any movies that might feature divorced or (gasp) even gay parents raising children in a loving environment, which is exactly what your bill seems to be suggesting. But those types of families didn’t exist in good ol’ Mayberry, and historians all agree that society went downhill the moment The Andy Griffith Show was canceled, so by all means, let’s go back to making traditional family films.

And don’t think I’m reading too much into this by focusing on gay couples. Precourt made sure to clarify that he didn’t consider them to be the types of families he wants to see in movie theaters. He said that the term “nontraditional family values” doesn’t specifically refer to homosexuality, but made sure to add, “That would not be the kind of thing I’d say that we want to invest public dollars in.”

I really don’t trust guys like Stephen Precourt. I mean, I don’t trust politicians in general, but I really don’t trust the ones who focus on family values. Inevitably, they are the ones who get caught screwing an intern, hiring high dollar call girls or giving secret signals to the guy one stall over in the men’s room.

Besides, if Precourt is really so concerned with protecting the youth, maybe he should focus less on what’s happening in Hollywood and more on what’s happening in his own state. Sure, we tend to think of Florida as a state where old people go to die, but it’s also the setting for countless Girls Gone Wild Spring Break moments. Maybe those are the movies Precourt should try to stop from being filmed in his state. Also, have you ever noticed that every bizarre story about a meth lab exploding or some moron getting eaten by their pet alligator always takes place in Florida?

If you think I’m exaggerating, there was a story just this week about a 37-year-old woman named Megan Mariah Barnes who crashed her 1995 Ford Thunderbird into a pickup truck full of people. The day before, Barnes had been convicted of driving while intoxicated and driving with a suspended license, but she was back out on the road again nonetheless. She was on her way to meet her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit, so while her ex-husband steered the car from the passenger seat, Barnes attempted to shave her pubes at 45 miles per hour. Surprisingly, that didn’t work out so well.

The officer on the scene summed it up best.

“If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. “About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot … who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, ‘Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”

Andy may have never had to deal with this kind of bullshit in Mayberry, but I can’t help but think Barnes’ accident would make for one hell of a scene in a movie. It’s just too bad they can’t film it in Florida.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.

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