Hobo Radio 122 – Keep your hookers fresher longer

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  • Introduction
  • Celebrity deaths
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Dane Cook
  • Green hookers
  • Contractually-obligated Batman discussion
  • “Minutes Too Late” by The Kellys

Week 122 Spotlight: Keep your hookers fresher longer

If you love hookers and blow as much as Joel Murphy and Lars, this week’s podcast is one you must listen to. Our dynamic duo offers up helpful tips to get the most out of your hookers and to keep them from going bad for as long as possible.

They also find the time to discuss Dane Cook’s laughable movie career, the latest tragic celebrity death and the train wreck that is that “milkaholic” Lindsay Lohan. All of these topics and more can be yours for the low, low price of $100 million dollars. But only if you act now.

How can you get the most out of your hookers? Will Robin ruin the next Batman video game? Is there any role Bruce Willis or Morgan Freeman can’t play? The answers to these questions and more are in this week’s podcast.

Hobo Radio is the official podcast of HoboTrashcan, brought to you by The Podcast Network.

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Lost: Down the Hatch – Do The Right Thing

Down the Hatch 10 Comments
Chris Kirkman

Chris Kirkman

“Dr. Linus” Recap and Analysis …

Previously, on Lost: Ben has a freakout and kills Jacob, who later sends Jack and Hurley to the Lighthouse where Jack has a freakout of his own. Ol’ Smokey freaks out in the Temple, killing a whole bunch of Island extras, while Ben is eyewitness to the aftermath of Sayid’s freakout at the Temple Spring wherein the now-evil Iraqi leaves Dogen and Lennon bobbing around in the dirty water like oversized rubber duckies.

This week, on Lost: It’s all about power – both real and imagined – and the power of redemption. AlterniBen – Dr. Linus – gets a second chance in LA X, while his Island Prime counterpart learns the power of forgiveness. But before either of them can do so, they both have to learn the power of weakness and of fear.

Speaking of fear, we open this week with Ben tear-assing through the jungle of mystery like the devil is on his heels. And just maybe he is. Regardless, it’s not long before he stumbles onto Team Common Sense lead by Ilana, fills them in on Sayid’s sudden sense of stabbiness, and suggests they hightail it to the beach for tactical protection. They agree and Sun must recognize stump #238 or the mark on viney tree #42A which points the way to the beach. Either that, or she has one hell of an interior Asian compass.

In LA X, AlterniBen – Dr. Linus, the history teacher – schools his class on the finer points of being exiled to an island by relating to them Napoleon’s final days on Elba. Nicely done, writing team. Walter Peck, who has apparently retired from the EPA and no longer chooses to give Venkman a hard time down at Ghostbusters HQ, is now the principal. He continues to be a class-A dick and strips Dr. Linus of his history club and places him in charge of detention.

In the lunchroom, Dr. Linus complains about his boss to Leslie Arzt who laments the fact that his shirt is ruined by formaldehyde. Could be worse, dude, you could have a piece of you on your shirt. Ben laments that nobody will listen to his concerns until the substitute – ol’ John Locke himself – raises his hand and says he’s listening, and that if Ben has a problem with the guy in charge, maybe it’s time for a change. Oh, the irony is thick with this one.


Locke, you don’t have to raise your hand … you are way too cool for school.

To make a long but powerful flash-sideways short, Locke’s sentiments plant a seed in Ben that will soon sprout. In the meantime, we learn that Alex is in LA X, as well, and is one of Ben’s students. She needs some tutoring help and, since he cares about her well-being and wants her to succeed, he agrees. During the tutoring session, Alex confides in Ben that the principal has been doing the horizontal mambo with the school nurse on school grounds.


Ben and Alex study the East India Trading Company. Again, I love the detail on this show. Black Rock, anyone?

Enlisting the help of Dr. Arzt as master hacker, Ben accesses the principal’s personal email and finds the sort of correspondence that would make Tiger Woods blush. He uses the emails in a power play to push the principal out of office and to write Ben a letter of recommendation so that Ben could assume control of the school. Well, since Walter Peck doesn’t go down without a fight, he tells Ben that he’d better back off or poor, young Alex will never get that recommendation to Yale that she so desperately needs. In fact, if Ben doesn’t back off, he’ll destroy her reputation completely. It’s his choice now – either he chooses to satisfy his personal need for power, or Ben can save Alex.

In the end, Ben makes the decision that his counterpart on Island Prime has lamented since season four – namely, he puts Alex’s future ahead of his own and backs down, allowing the principal to remain in charge. Alex gets her recommendation, and Ben gets his redemption. Oh, and the history club, of course. And we all get a big round of warm fuzzies at seeing one of the greatest, creepiest, most conflicted pseudo-villains ever find some peace and a little corner of happiness in the Land of Maybe.

Back on Island Prime, in the jungle of mystery, Ilana is suspicious of Ben’s involvement in the death of Jacob and so asks Miles to work a little seance mojo and talk to Jacob’s ashes. Miles does. Ben did it. Ilana is not happy, since Jacob was the closest thing to a father she ever had. Uh oh, says Miles. And how, says we.

Team Common Sense soon arrives at the beach, and Ilana puts them all to work while she fidgets with some cable and clamps and coconut shells and whatnot. Sun asks her how long they have to stay there because she has to find Jin, and Ilana tells her that if she knew, she’d certainly be there trying to get him. You see, all she knows is that his last name is Kwon, but so is Sun’s, so Ilana doesn’t know if she’s supposed to protect one or both of them because they’re candidates. Sun’s understandably confused. Ilana explains to her that they’re up for Jacob’s job. Of course she can’t tell Sun exactly what that means because that would spoil all the fun (but we’ll take a closer look at it later, naturally).


“Zzzzz … cheese curds …” Actually, that does sound pretty good, big guy.

Out on the other side of the Island, Jack wants to go to the Temple, but Hurley’s stalling because he knows what Jacob told him. They stand there arguing for a bit about which way to go until Richard pops out of the brush like he’s got tracking beacons up all the candidates’ butts. Jack wants to know where the heck Richard came from, but Richard says not yet, kemosabe, and heads out toward the Temple. Hurley asks Jack if he trusts that guy and Jack gets his pompous smirk on and says that at least Richard isn’t stalling. Uh, Jack – did you miss the part where Richard stalled about telling you his secrets? It only happened, like, four seconds ago.

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