Hobo Radio 131 – In which we mock the MTV Movie Awards …

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  • Introduction
  • Baltimore’s motto
  • Tyra Banks, author
  • The MTV Movie Award nominees
  • Contractually-obligated Batman discussion
  • “Lost Souls” by Mr. 427

Week 131 Spotlight: In which we mock the MTV Movie Awards …

This week MTV stopped showing crappy reality shows long enough to release this year’s nominees for their annual movie awards. While the MTV Movie Awards once felt like a relevant cultural event, now they simply serve as a stark reminder that MTV is a mere shell of its former self. And they give Twilight fans a chance to watch their favorite actors win meaningless awards … so there’s that too.

Joel Murphy and Lars break down all of the nominations for this year’s Movie Awards, mocking both the actors and the categories involved. They also take the time to bash Tyra Bank’s new book project and Baltimore’s new official motto. Somehow, they even find time to discuss superhero porn.

What is Baltimore’s new official motto? Is there anything more bad ass than rain? What exactly is a Justin Bieber? The answers to these questions and more are in this week’s podcast.

Hobo Radio is the official podcast of HoboTrashcan, brought to you by The Podcast Network.

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Lost: Down the Hatch – He’s Not Heavy, He’s my Smoke Monster

Down the Hatch 23 Comments
Chris Kirkman

Chris Kirkman

“Across the Sea” Recap and Analysis …

I’ll just leave this here:

Retcon - “Retroactive Continuity” v. to retroactively revise (a plot, storyline, character, event, history, etc.), usually by reinterpreting past events, or by theorizing how the present would be different if past events had not happened or had happened differently. See: Crisis on Infinite Earths; Wolverine’s bone claws; Greedo shoots first.

Once upon a time, there was an Island. It was a very special place. To this Island came a lady in red – shipwrecked and washed ashore, this lady was very, very pregnant. Although the lady in red survived her ordeal, she did not believe that her ship companions had, and so thought that she was alone. She wasn’t. Soon, thankful for finding a stream for fresh water, she bent to take a drink and was startled when she looked up and found that Allison Janney was on the Island, as well. She seemed shocked to also find that Allison Janney spoke Latin.

Allison took the lady back to her caves and fed her and tended to her wounds. She found that the lady in red’s name was Claudia. Allison’s meal seemingly did not agree with Claudia’s constitution and so the lady in red went into labor, popping out a little baby whom she named Jacob. The lady in red wasn’t quite done yet, though, and soon pushed out another little boy, whom Allison wrapped in dark, swaddling clothes. This little bundle would remain nameless, however, as Claudia had very little imagination and had only picked out Jacob’s name.


Baby Jacob and the appropriately-acronymed BiB – Baby in Black.

Claudia wants to see her babies, but Allison has another idea, and decides to show her a big rock up real close to her face, over and over. With the lady in red now completely in red, Allison could become mommy dearest to the yin yang twins.

A few years later, BiB – the Boy in Black – walks along one of the Island beaches and finds a wooden box. There are squares carved in the top, and ornate swirls along its side. Inside are six stones – three in white and three in black. Little Jacob wanders over and asks his brother what he’s got. BiB explains that it’s a game, and he’ll teach Jacob how to play if he promises not to tell mother.


This is an ancient Egyptian game called Senet – one of the oldest boardgames in the world. This is probably the coolest bit of research that the Lost team has turned up, and we’ll go over the finer points later, in analysis.

Back in the caves, mother is weaving. Mother questions Jacob about his brother, and Jacob pulls a George Washington, unable to lie about his brother and the game.

Mother heads down to the beach and finds BiB thinking deep thoughts. BiB knows that Jacob blabbed, and mother says that Jacob is incapable of lying, unlike BiB. The boy wants to know what he’s like, and mother explains that he’s – special. The boy wants to keep the game and mother allows it, saying she left it for him. He assumed it was from somewhere else, like across the sea. Mother explains that there’s nothing across the sea – there’s only the Island.

Later, in the Jungle of Mystery, the brothers are chasing boar when the boar is suddenly speared. The boys hide in the bushes and witness some Others field dressing the boar. These Others aren’t capri-loving, nor are they jungle hippies – these Others are dressed in field leather and brandish swords.

The brothers run back to mommy and tell her about the bad men. She tells them that they are not like them, and don’t belong on the Island. And then she decides that it’s a good time to blindfold the boys and take them on a nature hike through the same jungle wherein they said they had just seen sword-brandishing goons. Doesn’t seem like the brightest idea, but whatever mother wants, mother gets.

As the boys walk blindly through the jungle with their mother, they all chit chat. Mother tells them that the men they saw are dangerous because “they come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt and it always ends the same.” BiB, wise beyond his years, deducts that if they are people and the Others are people, and the Others can hurt each other, then that means Jacob and BiB can hurt each other. Mother stops them, removes their blindfold and tells them both that she’s made it so that neither boy can ever hurt the other. Then she spins them ’round and let’s them take a gander at the heart of the Island – a cave at the end of the creek with insides that sparkle and glimmer like gold.

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