The New Black – The Rocky Mount Bob

Brandi DeLancey

Brandi DeLancey

I had the pleasure of getting my hair cut this past weekend for the first time in over a year. While at the salon, I was inspired to write this week’s column on, what is technically called, the Bob. Here in our little piece of the world, we lovingly call this hair style the “Nash County Rihanna” or the “Rocky Mount Bob.”

You know the one. With this style, the front of the hair is longer than the back. For the purpose of this column, we will call this style the long front short back or LFSB for short.

For some reason, every woman that goes for a short do after having long hair opts for this style. To me, this doesn’t make sense. It defies all we know about historic hair trends. Generally speaking, hair tends to either be all one length or have the bangs with layers (i.e. shorter in the front, longer in the back – which, is not to be confused with the mullet, which features business in the front and a party in the back).

I’ve noticed a pattern with the females that rock the LFSB. These women are generally found in large numbers in rural or suburban areas. They are married, but it is often not the first marriage for either party. There are kids involved that came from the first marriage. They LOVE to shop. A lot of them don’t work, and at least in this area, they always have those giant initial stickers plastered in their rear windshields.
Now, I know these are gross generalizations, but take a look around on the next trip to your local mall … I think you will find them to be accurate observations.

As a whole, the women in this country have struggled to keep up with the hair style trends of celebrities. We have gone through the Farah Fawcett feathered shag of the 70s, the huge crimped and overly hair sprayed Demi Moore of the 80s and the Jennifer Anniston long layered look from the 90s. But of all the celebrity hair styles to mimic from the 10 years, why is the Rihanna LFSB Bob our go to style?! Obviously it takes a certain person to pull off the edginess of the LFSB in the way that Rihanna can. And to be honest, your average everyday housewife is not that person.

Coming from someone who has had the same hair style since high school, I can’t say I pay too much attention to new hairstyle trends. However, the sheer number of LFSB haircuts where I live makes it impossible not to observe. Even the men around here are taking notice. Now seriously, if men are actually noticing women’s hair, you know it’s being done to excess. For example, I was explicitly told, by two men, on the way to the salon NOT to come home with the “Rocky Mount Bob” or the “Nash County Riahanna.” Even my stylist, who happens to be a man, seemed pleased that I had chosen something else.

My dislike of the LFSB trend is not to knock people’s style, but their creativity. Come on people, why must we all choose to be like someone else? Don’t any of us have a shred of individuality in our bodies? When will it stop being the “Michelle Williams Pixie Cut” and just be the “I’m thinking about ear length cut”? Well, I’ll tell you when … NEVER! As long as there are celebrities out there making it cool to shave your head bald and tattoo a giant L on the back of it, there will be people out there stupid enough willing to follow suit.

Why do we put ourselves through all of this? As humans we strive for acceptance and likability, and we look to figureheads for our benchmarks. It just so happens that our benchmarks get more and more daring as time goes on, because over the years we have gotten so desensitized when it comes to shock factor. Our celebrities and “In-Crowd” people have to take things to the next level to be noticed, and in turn we go to that same level to be noticed. Unfortunately, all this has really done is make us look like a culture of mindless copy cats.

Unfortunately, and I hate to be the one to break the news to you, chances are you are going to have to do a helluva lot more than just cut your hair if you want to look like Rihanna, Jennifer Anniston, Demi Moore, Farah Fawcett or any other gorgeous celebrity. If it was that easy, we’d all be … oh wait, we are all doing it. I guess popularity really does trump creativity. I must have missed that memo.
But on a more serious note, do these JLO by Jennifer Lopez jeans make my butt look like J Lo’s?

Brandi DeLancey lives in North Carolina, where she is taking over the Internets one website at a time.

Comments (1)
  1. I don't get it December 20, 2010

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