[Editor’s Note – This is the first installment of a new monthly feature by Camille Crimson. Next month Camille will be answering reader questions. Check by Friday for this week’s Murphy’s Law.]
TL;DR version: you do! Hopefully that’s not all you came here for, though. Let me back up a bit.
My name is Camille Crimson. You may remember me from a little feature on here a while back where I taught you all how to make one of my favourite meals. I’m many things – a geek, a gourmand, a motorcyclist, a musician, a budding filmmaker, a loving long-term girlfriend/common-law wife. I’m also a pornographer with a very rich and fulfilling sexual life. If I had started off with that bit of information, I have a feeling it would have made you look at everything after a bit differently, like I was a pornstar trying to justify myself. That’s not quite it.
The vast majority of the population has some really hard lines in their minds about sexuality and how it interacts in our lives. We’re told that there’s a certain way to have and enjoy sex – as privately as possible! Anyone flagrantly exposing their sexual life, especially for financial gain, must have something wrong with them, right?
Wrong! (At least as far as I’m concerned.) I can’t speak for everyone, but my journey into the world of sharing my sexual self came very naturally and has left me whole and validated in my life.
There is no real reason why sex should be private. Our culture has had a very damaging effect when it comes to segmenting our “private” parts and our “private” moments. Our sexual education comes from on high, skewing the information for entertainment or for wholesomeness.
There’s very little real, frank talk about sex, especially its potential for good in relationships and just for ourselves. Without sounding too lofty and optimistic, that’s something I’m trying to undo in the world. It’s a big goal, but I’m not alone.
It’s unfortunate that so few of us are connected to this side of ourselves and I feel that part of it comes from the stigma we attach to others who dare to share. Whether porn performers or simply outspoken, sexually liberated friends, don’t judge them by what they do. It’s probably not nature that makes this seem wrong. It’s nurture. Instead, try to see all sides of the situation and perhaps turn your gaze inwards to see how adopting a more liberal approach in your own life could create room for growth.
To put my money where my mouth is, I want to help. If you have questions about any aspect of sexuality, of sensuality, of relationships, of love, then send them my way. By getting more of this out in the open in a safe environment, we can all learn a little something and hopefully increase the amount of positive dialogue out there about our sexual selves.
Camille Crimson will be back on the site next month answering your questions. Please direction questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or leave them below in the comments. You can check out her (NSFW) site at CamileCrimson.com.