As 2012 comes to an end (and not the way the Mayans had hoped), we thought it would be nice to take a look back at some of the best content HoboTrashcan had to offer.
Today, we bring you 10 of the most memorable columns from the site, three each from our regular contributors and one special guest column.
Guest Post – Love is a (Nintendo) game
As the wise poet Pat Benatar once said, “Love is a battlefield.” But it’s not just any battlefield – it’s a Mushroom Kingdom filled with endless pipes, strange toadstool-headed little people and beautiful princesses. Guest writer Christine Compas explains how love is like Super Mario Bros. in this special guest column.
Murphy’s Law – Five suggestions for Star Wars VII
Perhaps the most surprising pop culture story to break this year was Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilms and the announcement that they were planning on making (at least) three new Star Wars films. Joel Murphy shared his thoughts on how to make the new trilogy work.
Murphy’s Law – Los Pollos Hermanos Appreciation Day
One of the strangest stories of 2012 was how eating at Chick-fil-a suddenly became a political statement. Joel Murphy had some fun with this in this column, which substitutes Los Pollos Hermanos, the fast food chain run by Gus Fring in Breaking Bad.
Murphy’s Law – William Taft: Werewolf Wrestler
It was a good year for Abraham Lincoln. He got the full Academy Award treatment with a big budget Steven Spielberg biopic. And he also got the less historically accurate Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It was the latter that inspired Joel Murphy to do his own Presidential fan fiction, which led to William Taft: Werewolf Wrestler.
The Teachers’ Lounge – Cafeteria duty
Many movies have been made about heroic teachers getting through to difficult students in the classroom. One thing you never see, however, is an inspirational teacher movie set in a high school cafeteria. That’s because, as Ned Bitters explains, high school cafeterias are godless hellholes.
The Teachers’ Lounge – Memorable moments from September 2012
Normally, Ned Bitters makes us wait until the end of the year for him to share his funniest stories from the classroom. This year, however, he decided to give us regular updates throughout the school year.
Overrated – A more innocent time
When times get rough, there is often a public cry by politicians or pundits to return to a “more innocent time.” Ned Bitters examines this mythical “more innocent time,” which he argues never really existed in the first place.
Positive Cynicism – The long night of Twinkie the Kid
In a year that saw Hostess file for bankruptcy, Aaron R. Davis saw the end coming long before the papers were filed. In January, he shared this column, which highlights a very dark night in the life of beloved mascot Twinkie the Kid.
Positive Cynicism – You know there’s no magic curtain on the Internet that you get to hide behind, right?
As he so often does, Aaron R. Davis once again uses his column to show how the “Internet has exposed everything that is dull, stupid, uneducated and idiotic about humanity.” In this column, he gives two glaring examples of people not understanding Internet privacy.
Positive Cynicism – You all started somewhere
A bizarre trend that kept popping up in 2012 was Internet commenters attacking women for being “fake” geeks. In a modern day witch hunt, they sought out women they thought were exploiting geek culture for their own gain. Aaron R. Davis addresses this bizarre mentality in this column.