Best of 2012 – The year’s five worst movies
Recently, we’ve been bringing you recaps of some of the best content HoboTrashcan had to offer in 2012. Obviously, a big part of the site is our movie reviews, so in addition to looking back at the best we had to offer, I thought it would be fun to put together my list of the best (and worst) Hollywood had to offer.
Obviously, a lot of these best and worst films lists get posted online this time of year. But the Internet was invented so people could argue about movie rankings. I figured it was my duty to put together a list of my own. Here’s the five worst films I saw last year …
5. Taken 2
The follow up to the sleeper hit Taken suffers from a complete lack of ambition. It’s a one-dimensional film with bland action scenes that never lives up to the excitement of its great opening graveyard scene, which features the always-entertaining Rade Serbedzija. It also expects its audience to believe Maggie Grace is 16, which is utterly ridiculous.
4. Snow White and the Hunstman
The cinematography and special effects in this film are at times quite beautiful, but it ended up being all style and no substance. Charlize Theron was highly enjoyable as the wicked queen, but she was ultimately no match for Kristen Stewart’s overwhelming blandness.
3. Red Tails
Red Tails, which tells the story of the Tuskagee Airman, is an overly idealistic and naïve war film, one that lacks subtlety or any shades of gray. The black protagonists are are heroic, the white higher ups back in Washington who oppose them overly racist and narrow-minded and the Germans they are fighting against all racist and evil as well.
2. Battleship
Peter Berg showed with Friday Night Lights that he can be an intriguing director, but he never really stood a chance of making Battleship entertaining. Since its based on a board game that has no story and uses antiquated war vessels, Berg throws in aliens and keeps the whole thing mostly confined to the water, but it’s a lot of work on his part for something that is ultimately not worth the effort.
1. Alex Cross
Sadly, while all of the above films were bad, it wasn’t even close. Alex Cross is the worst movie I’ve seen in a very long time. It was the first film I ever gave a zero rating on this site. From the acting to the story to the action sequences, it didn’t do a single thing well. It’s hard to believe the cast didn’t mutiny before filming ended in an effort to save their careers.
Written by Joel Murphy. If you enjoy his reviews, he also writes a weekly pop culture column called Murphy’s Law, which you can find here. You can contact Joel at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.