Bacon and Legs – You’re On Fire: A Culinary Analysis

Fontina Turner

Fontina Turner

They Might Be Giants. If you haven’t heard of them, get on it. The duo of Johns have been around for over 30 years making badass indie-alternative music that makes you groove, dance, think and laugh. They have some weird shit, but it’s always great. (They also do ridiculously adorable and educational children’s albums. If you have kids, you need to expose them to these.) I won’t give you their whole history here, that’s what Wikipedia is for, but I encourage you all to check them out.

“You’re On Fire” is a new single that came out this year. The song itself is pure TMBG. It’s catchy and easy to dance to and you won’t get sick of it. The lyrics are hilarious and cleverly written (as usual).

Hi, I forgot your name
Whatever
My point is
Hi, your head’s on fire

Oh damn, you must’ve got one of them
Combustible heads
I read an article all about them

But what really struck me about this song was the music video.

It’s simple and adorable. A girl (Lauren Lapkus of Orange is the New Black fame) is cooking dinner for her dude while dancing to her iPod. (iPod? Maybe it’s a phone. I think iPods are dying.) While she’s oblivious, the food sings and dances to the song. The ground meatman/lead singer is particularly awesome.

But what I want to know is: what is Lapkus making? I’m going to attempt to find out using only the ingredients in the music video. I’m building out my best hypothesis of what the creepy, anthropomorphic foods were to become.

[Disclaimer: this recipe was not tested. No promises. Just fun. If you try it out, let me know!]

Combustible Meatman Stir Fry with Spicy White Sauce

Ingredients for Stir Fry

  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 4 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 1/2 lb bacon, cut into small pieces
  • 1/2 cup each, broccoli florets, carrots (diced), brussels sprouts (halved)
  • 1/4 cup celery (diced)
  • 2 tbsp white wine
  • salt
  • 2 eggs

Ingredients for Spicy White Sauce

  • 2 tbsp soy sauce
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1 tbsp grated ginger
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp corn starch
  • 1 /4 cup sriracha

Heat oil in a skillet (or wok) over medium heat. Stir in garlic for 1-2 minutes until fragrant. Break your ground beef up into the hot oil (so it doesn’t have to go in live and singing) and add in bacon. Cook for 5-10 minutes, depending on your heat. When the meat is mostly cooked through, drain off the grease.

Add in wine, vegetables and sprinkle with salt. (You can add more to taste once the meat is done.) Stir over medium heat until the veggies are properly cooked, about 6-8 more minutes.

After everything is almost cooked through, crack the eggs into the pan . Stir a LOT, like you’re scrambling them, right into the stir fry.

Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, whisk together all of your sauce ingredients, except the sriracha. Stir over low heat until it starts to thicken and become a little translucent. Add your sriracha at the end.

Plate stir fry and spoon sauce over it.

Serve meatman stir fry to your boyfriend and his mustache.

Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at thelegs@baconandlegs.com.

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