Did ya see Thor: The Dark World this weekend? Didja? I figured a good chunk of you would have. Even if you aren’t into The Avengers, Marvel or comic books in general, Chris Hemsworth draws you in. He could be a weapon in world domination if he fell into the wrong hands. Hemsworth, not Thor … well, both.
With all of this excitement over the new movie and two more hours of sexy-wonderment being flaunted in your faces (Hemsworth, not Portman … well, both); you may have forgotten to eat. Never fear, puny humans. I have created a menu fit for a Norse god.
First, your main dish, Moon Over My Hammer, is a take on the famous Moon Over My Hammy; a sandwich with scrambled eggs, two cheeses and ham. I’ve used thick-as-shit sliced ham and yes I shaped the sandwich into a hammer. (How could I resist?) Sustenance, yes, but delicious as shit too.
Next up is the supporting role to this meal, the Loki Doki Artichoki Dip. Made with Norwegian Jarlsberg and a good deal of cayenne and sriracha, it’ll kick your ass but it’s so good you can’t really live without it.
And wash it all down with a Thor on the Floor: a beer cocktail made with Blonde Ale and whiskey, to knock even the biggest of gods down. (I think his tolerance is low, he never lets loose and parties.)
Go forth into battle, these recipes as your weapons, and defeat the tummy rumbles with all of the vigor that the God of Hunger would!
Moon Over My Hammer
- 2 slices sourdough bread
- 2 slices Jarlsberg cheese
- 2 slices American cheese
- 1 thick slice of ham
- 2 eggs
- 2 tbsp milk
- salt and pepper
In a small skillet, melt a half tbsp of butter. In a bowl, whisk together eggs and milk. Pour into the skillet. Using a soft spatula, break up the egg mixture as it cooks, “scrambling” it if you will. Salt and pepper to taste.
Meanwhile, cover one slice of your sourdough with the Jarlsberg cheese. When eggs are cooked through, top the cheese covered bread. Cover the eggs with American cheese and top with the other slice of bread.
Butter both sides of the sandwich and return to the skillet, over medium heat. Cook until brown and crispy, and cheese is melty, about 3-4 minutes per side.
If you want to go all the way, cut your sandwich into a hammer shape. (Bad ass Nordic gods always eat their sandwiches cut into the shape of hammers. They also don’t like crusts.)
Loki Doki Artichoki Dip
- 1 can artichokes, drained and diced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tbsp sriracha
- 2 tsp Worcestershire
- 2 tsp sugar
- 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
- 2/3 cup parmesan cheese, shaved (2 tbsp reserved)
- 1 cup sour cream
- 1 cup cream cheese (room temperature)
- 1 /2 cup Jarlsberg cheese, shredded (for top)
- Crisps, crackers, bread, veggies, etc.
Preheat oven to 350.
With a mixer, blend together cream cheese and sour cream. Add in garlic, sriracha, Worcestershire, sugar and cayenne.
With a spatula, fold in parmesan cheese and artichokes. Top with reserved parm and shredded Jarlsberg. Spoon into four ramekins on a cookie sheet.
Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, until bubbly.
Serve with crap to dip in it.
Thor on the Floor
- 12 oz. Blonde ale
- 1 1/2 oz. whiskey
- 1 oz. lemon juice
- orange bitters, to your liking
Gently stir ingredients together. Serve in a god goblet. (I imagine it’s like a pimp cup. I don’t know, I made it up.)
Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.