Online casinos vs. real casinos

Guest Blog

As someone who enjoys lounging around his house pantsless, I love the idea of online casinos. What can be better than getting pocket Aces while sitting around in you skivvies eating a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats?

However, as a movie junkie, I can’t help but feel that you do miss out on something by not being at an actual casino. Think about all of the iconic movie scenes that take place inside a casino. That moment in Rain Man where Raymond makes the money they need by counting cards. The three casino bank heist in Ocean’s 11. Or even all of the hijinks that ensued with the MIT blackjack crew, which was made into an utterly underwhelming movie called 21.

Sure, one could theoretically still count cards in an online casino. And perhaps an expert hacker could figure out a way to electronically steal money from three casinos at once. But it hardly has the panache of those originally films. And they would probably make for terrible movies themselves (though perhaps still better than 21).

Of course, the tradeoff is that you never have to worry about the less glamorous parts of an actual casino. In short, you never have to worry about a Casino situation. No baseball bats to the head or car bombs or anything else Martin Scorsese can dream up.

Besides, have I mentioned that you don’t even have to put on pants?

There is a state-of-the-art new casino that was recently built near me. It has all of the amenities you could want, including a Bobby Flay’s burger restaurant. But I just can’t bring myself to actually go to it. I don’t want to fight through the crowds (which are sizable since the casino is built in the same lot as a giant mall). I don’t want to have to deal with the panic and chaos that goes along with negotiating a casino floor where people are nervous or upset or excited or whatever. It just seems so overwhelming.

It’s much easier to sit on my couch and log on to an online casino, where I can play for a few hours without ever leaving my home. I get the same fix while sipping on tea and listening to my iPod. It’s a fantastic experience.

Sure, I may never get a movie made about my online exploits. But that’s okay. They probably couldn’t afford to get George Clooney to play me anyway. Besides, by sticking at home and sticking with an online casino, I have time to pop in a DVD of Rain Man or Casino or Ocean’s 11 (but not, for the love of god, 21).

And did I mention that you don’t even have to put on pants?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *