Aaron R. Davis
11:00 am Sunday: Hey, everyone, I really like music from the 80s so I decided to start this blog just to play great songs from that decade. Totally rad! Right? Let’s listen to some great New Wave together!
12:39 pm Sunday: Just to clarify, I can’t follow anyone back from here because this isn’t my main blog. Is everyone enjoying the music? Any suggestions? My inbox is open.
1:48 pm Sunday: I’m not sure why it matters so much, but I’m a girl.
1:49 pm Sunday: I don’t think it’s necessary for me to post a picture of myself. This isn’t a personal blog, it’s just about the music.
1:50 pm Sunday: No, I didn’t grow up in the 80s, I just really love the music from that time period and thought it would be fun to play some and share my love of the music.
1:51 pm Sunday: What does it matter what my age is? I just want to post some Prince music. Anyone have any music requests? What’s your favorite band from the 80s?
1:54 pm Sunday: I’m 19.
1:55 pm Sunday: I’m not going to post a picture.
1:56 pm Sunday: Not that it’s anyone’s business, but no, I don’t have a boyfriend.
1:57 pm Sunday: No, I’m not a lesbian, I just don’t have a boyfriend. Would it matter if I’m a lesbian? Does it matter that … look, I just want to play some music. Anyone else like Duran Duran? I think they’re my favorite band from the 80s, but I’ve been listening to more of Adam and the Ants lately, and they rock pretty hard.
1:59 pm Sunday: Does anyone have any requests?
2:00 pm Sunday: Does anyone have any music requests?
2:12 pm Sunday: I’m blonde. No, I’m not going to post a picture.
2:20 pm Sunday: I’m going to stop answering non-music-related questions for a while.
5:15 pm Monday: I’m going to open up submissions so you can submit some of your favorite 80s tunes!
5:17 pm Monday: Submissions are closed. I don’t want pictures of penises. This is a music tumblr. Why can’t you guys just talk to me about music?
5:19 pm Monday: I’m not going to tell you what my favorite 80s album to make love to is.
5:25 pm Monday: I’m going to close the questions for a while.
9:30 pm Monday: My favorite album from the 80s is either Thriller or the first Violent Femmes album. I’m not sure I want to get into hair metal. I can’t believe how much people are into Motley Crue lately. Don’t they know Guns ‘n’ Roses existed?
9:34 pm Monday: I’m majoring in nursing. I use this blog to unwind from school.
9:35 pm Monday: No, I’m not going to post a picture of myself.
9:36 pm Monday: If I re-open submissions are you going to send me a picture of your penis? Because I don’t want a picture of your penis.
9:38 pm Monday: It was his penis. Thanks, guys. Submissions are closed again.
4:35 pm Wednesday: Anyone else think that Madonna is massively overrated?
4:38 pm Wednesday: I think telling me to die in a fire is a little over-the-top, don’t you?
4:43 pm Wednesday: I actually like the song “Material Girl.”
4:50 pm Wednesday: No, I’m not going to post a picture. Stop asking.
9:18 pm Thursday: No, I’m not a virgin. Jeez, doesn’t anyone just like music? How is seeing what I look like going to enhance your appreciation of music from 35 years ago? Stop asking!
10:05 am Sunday: Sorry I haven’t been on in a while. I thought this would be more fun. All I want to do is share music and thoughts on music with like-minded people. I don’t have any interest in meeting anyone or having chat sex through this website, and the attention is really getting to me. Guys, this is just supposed to be a tumblr for 80s music, not a big profile of me. I don’t want to post my picture and I don’t want to see yours and I don’t want to talk about what I like to do in bed! I just want to play Elvis Costello songs and unwind from long days at school!
11:00 am Friday: Stop calling me a bitch just because I’m not responding to your sex comments! You’re being so rude!
4:36 pm Friday: I’m seriously thinking about just deleting this blog. I’m not a bitch just because I won’t let you see what I look like. Why does it matter??? This is a music tumblr! Just enjoy the music! I’m so sick of this!
7:15 pm Friday, two weeks later: Sorry I haven’t posted in forever. School stuff. I’m deleting all of the questions in my inbox that are personal and aren’t about music. Hey, does anyone else like Oingo Boingo?
7:16 pm Friday: I’m not posting a picture of myself, fuck!
7:30 pm Friday: [blog unceremoniously deleted]
Aaron R. Davis lives in a cave at the bottom of the ocean with his eyes shut tight and his fingers in his ears. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.