Bacon and Legs – Quinoa, Compliments of David Lynch

Fontina Turner

Fontina Turner

David Lynch is a director, producer, musician, weirdo, artist, voice actor … and apparently an aspiring Food Network Star.

I’m partial to Lynch because he has roots in Philadelphia. He studied here at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts. Granted, his experiences in Philadelphia are pretty horrendous. However … you wouldn’t have Eraserhead if it weren’t for his time here. (Yes. That’s how horrendous it was.)

To recap, Lynch is the man who gave you Twin Peaks, Mulholland Drive, Blue Velvet, Dune and yes, even the bartender from The Cleveland Show (which is basically just a cartoon version of himself). He’s had countless awards, nominations and recognitions throughout his career including two Oscar noms.

His work is surreal and impactful. It should come as no surprise that he has an eccentric personality to match. He once paid one million dollars for a meditation course. For paid subscribers to his website, he gives them a brief L.A. weather report every day. He has his own line of coffee beans. But most importantly, David Lynch is a big fan of quinoa.

In this two-part video series, Lynch teaches us how to make his recipe for quinoa. It’s super high contrast black and white with light pulsating music playing in the background. (As you’d expect.) You should definitely watch it. It’s under fifteen minutes and who knows, maybe you’ll want to make quinoa afterward. He describes that quinoa as the “perfect complete protein” and says he likes to have it for dinner every chance he gets.

Step-by-step you learn how to make this dish. Instruction includes what kind of pan to use (a heavy pan, lined with copper … such a good pan), what to include, how to cook it, how to clean the pan afterward and then a delightfully strange and trippy story in the middle while the quinoa is cooking.

This little interlude is very dark and during a lot of it, you just see the tip of Lynch’s cigarette and occasionally the shape of his hands moving around. He tells a tale about traveling on a train and exchanging a coin for a bottle of violet sugar water and a piece of paper money, then exchanging the paper money for six Coca Colas (for someone who has never had Coca Cola) and a bunch of coins. What? Why? Because that’s what David Lynch does.

It’s a weird-as-fuck must see. Who else can teach you how to make quinoa and also make you feel slightly uneasy at the same time? And honestly, I want to try the recipe. Not many people use liquid amino acids as a condiment. I’m right about that, right?

Ingredients

  • fresh water
  • sea salt
  • less than 1/2 cup quinoa
  • vegetable bouillon cube
  • organic broccoli
  • Bragg’s amino acid
  • extra virgin olive oil
  • glass of red wine

Fill pan with about an inch of fresh, nice fresh water.

Heat over nice hot flame.

Put “about that much” sea salt in the pan.

Add the quinoa into the water.

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Here is where the video cut out for me. But from reading recaps online, I’ve found that here, Lynch adds the broccoli into the pan, covers it, then pours a glass of red wine and leaves the kitchen to go tell his epic interlude story. The second video comes in on the start of the story.
_______

Take the lid off. Stir in bouillon until melted.

Put into bowl.

Fill pan with water and soap so it doesn’t stick. Clean the pan. (Cause this stuff really sticks.)

Squirt a little Liquid Braggs Amino Acid on the quinoa.

Drizzle some extra virgin olive oil on the quinoa.

“There you have it, a fantastic bowl of quinoa, broccoli, vegetable bouillon, sea salt, liquid amino acids and olive oil.”

Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at thelegs@baconandlegs.com.

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