Bacon and Legs – Hello, Sweetie

Fontina Turner

Fontina Turner

Hello, Sweetie, I baked for you.

Here’s the thing. I love you all SO MUCH that, for Valentine’s Day, I baked you cookies. But not just any cookies, cookies from the heart. (Just the one though, I’m no Time Lord.)

Here’s the other thing. As much as I love you, I love the Doctor more. Like, way more. No contest. If you and the Doctor were drowning in the ocean …

Wait, this is getting unromantic. Nobody dies today. Let me start over: I baked for you! I love you.

The world loves you too. All of our little specialized interests in sci-fi and fantasy, science and technology, video games and comic books … they are all becoming significantly popular. While your inner-hipster-nerd hybrid might scoff at the popularity of it, you have to admit, it has its perks. For one, the super popular website, Think Geek has been able to provide us all with an endless array of shit to spend our money on. And boy, do I.

For one, I bought these Doctor Who cookie cutters. (I’ve bought a lot of Doctor Who things from them. Don’t judge.) It’s a set of five: the TARDIS, a sonic screwdriver, a dalek, a cyberman and K9. The K9 one is, by far, the cutest cookie cutter I own. I encourage all of you Whovians to partake in this tedious but oh-so-worth it project. I tweaked a couple of Martha Stewart cookie recipes to be better. Come one, like SHE knows what she’s doing. (I barely touched them.) I broke out the cookie cutters and I got busy.

Between the non-traditional sugar cookies (chocolate and a FANTASTIC lemon) and the adorable cutters/molds, this yields a project you can really be proud of. Bake them up for your companion, for yourself or for your mummy. (Are you mine?)

And do what I do, hold tight and pretend it’s a plan.

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Bacon and Legs - Hello, Sweetie
Author: 
Recipe type: Snack
 
Ingredients
Lemon Cookies
  • 3 cups all-purpose flour (plus additional for cutting out)
  • ¾ teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 tbsp sour cream
  • 1 lemon, zested and juiced
  • cooking spray
Chocolate Cookies
  • 2⅔ cups all-purpose flour
  • ⅓ cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
  • ¾ teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 tbsp sour cream
  • 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Royal Icing
  • 1 lb powdered sugar (that’s half a 2lb bag, genius)
  • 5 tbsp meringue powder
  • ½ cup water
  • gel food colorings
Instructions
Lemon Cookies
  1. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
  2. Using a mixer, beat together butter and granulated sugar with a mixer (medium high speed) until pale and fluffy. Then add in the egg, sour cream and lemon juice + zest.
  3. Reduce speed to low and add flour mixture in a ½ cup at a time until completely combined.
  4. Divide dough into two sections and place each on a sheet of psychic… er… wax paper. Wrap up and refrigerate for 1 hour.*
  5. Preheat oven to 350°. Spray two cookie sheets with cooking spray and wipe down with a paper towel.
  6. Flour your counter. Shit’s about to get messy. Remove dough from wax paper and place on floured work surface. Add a little flour to the top of your dough and dust your rolling pin. Roll out the dough to about ¼ inch thick. Begin cutting out shapes and placing them on the prepped cookie sheets.
  7. Place first cookie sheet in preheated oven on the center rack. Back for 10-12 minutes. (If you’re using the doctor who cookie cutters, the sonic screwdrivers only need about 8 minutes.)
  8. Remove from oven and let cool. Frost with royal icing (recipe below).
  9. * The dough can keep in the fridge for up to a month. The longer it is in the refrigerator, the more it may dry out. If you remove the dough from the fridge and it is dry, put it back in a bowl and mix in an extra tablespoon of sour cream.
Chocolate Cookies
  1. In a large bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
  2. Using a mixer, beat together butter and granulated sugar with a mixer (medium high speed) until pale and fluffy. Then add in the egg, sour cream and vanilla.
  3. Reduce speed to low and add flour mixture in a ½ cup at a time until completely combined.
  4. Divide dough into two sections and place each on a sheet of psychic… er… wax paper. Wrap up and refrigerate for 1 hour.*
  5. Preheat oven to 350°. Spray two cookie sheets with cooking spray and wipe down with a paper towel.
  6. Flour your counter. Shit’s about to get messy. Remove dough from wax paper and place on floured work surface. Add a little flour to the top of your dough and dust your rolling pin. Roll out the dough to about ¼ inch thick. Begin cutting out shapes and placing them on the prepped cookie sheets.
  7. Place first cookie sheet in preheated oven on the center rack. Back for 10-12 minutes. (If you’re using the doctor who cookie cutters, the sonic screwdrivers only need about 8 minutes.)
  8. Remove from oven and let cool. Frost with royal icing (recipe below).
  9. * The dough can keep in the fridge for up to a month. The longer it is in the refrigerator, the more it may dry out. If you remove the dough from the fridge and it is dry, put it back in a bowl and mix in an extra tablespoon of sour cream.
Royal Icing
  1. Using a mixer, blend powdered sugar, meringue powder and water together. Tint with food colors and scoop into piping bags to begin your bad ass artistry.

 

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Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at thelegs@baconandlegs.com.

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