Bacon and Legs – Too much tuna

Fontina Turner

Fontina Turner

Oh, hello.

Pre-Kroll Show, I didn’t really know Nick Kroll. I never watched The League, so it was like, “Oh, isn’t that the Douche?” I thought he was funny in the things that I saw him in, but I didn’t really appreciate what he was doing as a body of work.

Now that Kroll Show is ending and I’ve had three seasons of loving all of his characters, I’m constantly being surprised. Watching old episodes of Sit Down Shut Up or seeing him show up in Drunk History and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, now I’m like, “Holy shit, it’s Nick Kroll!”

His show brought him recognition that was clearly deserved. He rocks all of the characters in his show. I quote it constantly. I can’t drink from a straw now without trying to mimic PubLIZity. I like to “blap blap blap” my cats to annoy them. I occasionally replace the word “definitely” with “dolphinitely” in everyday conversations. But most importantly, any time anyone says the two words: “too much,” I instantly say under my breath, “too much tuna.”

Doesn’t even make sense in the context of the situation, I’m just constantly talking about too much tuna. Do you know how often people say “too much”? A fuck load.

To my immense dismay, Kroll Show is ending next week. I believe Kroll knows best what is right for Kroll … and Kroll Show, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to miss C-Czar, Beefy Liz, Mikey and Aspen. I can’t let the show go without some fanfare, so I’ve decided to write a recipe for the Too Much Tuna Sandwich. It’s a basic tuna salad recipe with lemon and dill, but the important thing is … I’m telling you exactly how much tuna is too much tuna. (I’m completely terrified of what George and Gil would have to say about this.) This is my prahnk recipe!

Too Much Tuna Sandwich
Yields 1 sandwich
  • 10 cans tuna
  • 1¼ cup mayonnaise
  • 2 tbsp whole grain mustard
  • 1 large stalk celery, diced
  • ¼ cup fresh dill
  • 1½ tsp lemon juice
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • 2 slices rye bread
  1. Mix together all of the ingredients (except for the bread, obviously). Pile up really fucking high on the bread. Serve it to an unexpecting stranger. It’s Too Much Tuna! (10 cans. One sandwich. That’s too much. It’s just … too much.)
* I found that it doesn’t pile as high as it does in the show. I suggest attempting to refrigerate it for awhile to stiffen it. I had a new jar of mayonnaise, so it hadn’t been refrigerated yet.



Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at

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