Poppin’ Molly – She’s only 17

Molly Regan

Molly Regan

Kylie Jenner must be in some serious trouble because the whole world certainly seems concerned about her behavior. You can’t go two minutes without hearing some sort of news regarding her clothing, partying or ever-expanding lips. Given the amount of news coverage surrounding the teenage socialite, I almost thought there was something actually happening to her.

But, as is usually the case, we’re just really happy to have another young woman to shame for not behaving in the exact way we like. From everything I’ve been able to gather from the ridiculously bountiful number of stories concerning the celebrity, her greatest crime is making the decision to experiment with her personal aesthetic. Heaven forbid a teenager decide to play with the way she presents herself! And she even looks sexy! The shame!

We all know that most adolescent girls don’t stay covered from chin to calf until they reach the age of eighteen, at which point they are to present themselves to an acceptable suitor of their father’s choice. No, most of us wanted to play around with our looks and sexuality rather than experiment with the quiverfull way of life. I don’t see why Kylie Jenner has become the focus of our collective criticism when she’s just doing what most of us did (albeit with more money and fashion know-how).

Obviously we care more about Kylie because she is of the Kardashian clan, and apparently that is all the ammunition one needs to rattle off slut-shaming commentary towards a young woman. But here’s the deal: We shouldn’t be talking about the amount of clothing Kylie Jenner has chosen to wear. She’s 17, it’s kind of creepy to be focusing on the amount of fabric covering her underage body. This kind of discourse is icky at best and destructive at worst. We don’t need to police Kylie Jenner.

When I was 17, I was your typical art school rebel stereotype, complete with the paint splattered ripped jeans and a Marlboro 27 hanging out of my mouth. I also had a penchant for posing nude for paintings. Thank God nobody cared enough about me to document my daily comings and goings when I was 17, because lord knows I was a trainwreck for that entire year (and well into age 19).

For every wild party Kylie Jenner has attended, I have three drinking contests and a psychedelic experience to counter. For as much as we like to critique Kylie’s choice of clothing, I was taking my clothes off in the name of art at every opportunity I could. I was experimenting with my behavior and looks just like every single other teenager across this country. Sometimes I looked and behaved like an asshole – just like every other teenager across this country. It’s really not fair to target Kylie Jenner and pretend she’s doing something extraordinarily different from the rest of us. Honestly, she’s just looking better while doing it.

Kylie Jenner is 17 years old, guys. No matter what you feel about her lacy ensemble at Coachella or her plump lips, it’s not exactly your place to make comments. There are so many more interesting things on which to focus your attention – like, have you seen the new Star Wars trailer? Doesn’t it look amazing?!

Whenever you’re tempted to talk shit about Kylie Jenner, or any other teenage celebrity, just remember what a jackass you were when you were her age. Adolescence is the great equalizer.


Molly Regan is an improviser and writer in Baltimore. She likes chicken pot pie, Adam Scott’s butt and riot grrl.

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