“No one can conceive the variety of feelings which bore me onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success. Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark world.”
– Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
Those of you who listened to last week’s Hobo Radio podcast heard me and Lars invent a new fast food hybrid using ingredients from Chick-fil-a, Taco Bell and Checkers.
Now, as longtime fans of the podcast already know, Lars and I are idea guys. We occasionally come up with awesome ideas on the show and then just wait for someone else to do the actual work to make these ideas come to life. (So far, this strategy has had a zero percent success rate.)
So I decided it was time to make one of these ideas a reality. Which is how we got to this monumental moment where “The Hobo Taco” was born. (Incidentally, I’m really hoping a “Hobo Taco” isn’t already some sort of depraved sex act on Urban Dictionary, but frankly I’ve been too scared to look it up.)
Our original pitch for the perfect fast food hybrid called for a Chalupa shell made out of Chick-fil-a waffle fries coated with Checkers seasoning. While that sounds delicious, I have neither the skills nor the ambition to make that a reality, so I made a few practical substitutions to make this glorious food mashup a reality.
Drive to all three restaurants ordering the necessary ingredients.
If you start to feel embarrassed about the passenger seat full of assorted fast food bags, mumble something to the cashier about picking up lunch orders for your ungrateful coworkers.
For the Chalupa, I ordered one with chicken in it as well, which I discarded. But that was mainly because I felt too silly to just order one with lettuce and cheese. Skip this step if you have less shame than me.
Drive home. Question your life decisions up until this point.
Dump out the contents of the Chalupa onto a plate and set them aside.
Fill the bottom of the Chalupa with a layer of fries.
Add a layer of chicken nuggets.
You will have leftover nuggets and fries. Eat those separately. And proudly.
Microwave the Chalupa for 40 seconds.
Remove from the microwave and add the Chick-fil-a sauce, lettuce and cheese.
Shove Hobo Taco into your face and have your life forever changed for the better.
So, how was it? Ridiculously, decadently delicious. The combination of the chicken nuggets, Chick-fil-a sauce and Chalupa shell is an absolutely heavenly flavor amalgam. The fries were a bit overpowered by the other ingredients, but they still added a nice crunchy texture to the taco. (If I’m being totally honest though, you could probably skip them without losing much.)
If you have the free time and lack of shame required to drive to three different fast food restaurants in order to make a hybrid food, I highly recommend it.
Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. Follow Joel on Twitter @FreeMisterClark or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.