Bacon and Legs – Wally Whirl (Vacation-inspired recipe)
Vacation has had a bit of a rocky start, but things look good now. We’re on the road, Ellen has dozed off so she isn’t nagging me, the kids are fighting but I can drown them out and there is nothing but blue skies ahead!
Huh. That red convertible is coming up kind of fast behind me. Oh well, I’ll just let them pass. Probably some sad sucker having a midlife crisis.
Oh. What’s this? I think she’s looking at me. Oh she is definitely checking me out. Hey there, ice cream cone. You’re looking mighty delicious today. You aren’t a normal ice cream cone, are you? Oh no, you aren’t an ice cream cone at all. You’re filled with light chocolate mousse. You’re a mousse cone. A flirty, sweet mousse cone.
Where are you going, pretty thing? I have no problem speeding up to catch you. There you are. Hey, sweetness. I didn’t even know desserts could drive cars, let alone own them. What I wouldn’t do to get my tongue inside your rich, fluffy goodness.
Oh … goodbye, mousse cone. I’ll be thinking about her chocolate tonight. Oh well, onward.
I should really stop at this next rest stop up here. I bet the kids are hungry.
Woah, it’s mousse cone again. Wow. She looks even better out of the car. What’s she doing with that bottle of chocolate shavings? It’s almost like she’s dancing with it … just for me. Yeah, baby … become one with that bottle of chocolate shavings. That’s the stuff. Let me just groove here with this sandwich, show you what I got. You’ll be a perfect dessert.
What? The dog pissed on the picnic basket? I can pull this off … let me just sexily spit this out.
Ugh, back to this family shit.
Oh man, it’s so good to be out of the car. This bar is a bit crowded for a hotel bar, but it’s not a bad hotel. Oh my god. Is that mousse cone? Oh fuck, it is. She sees me. She’s coming over.
“Family vacation? Me? No. I’m undercover. I own a chain of confection manufacturers and I like to visit them to see how they’re doing. I’m not really married.”
Is she buying this? I can’t tell. I think she is, she wants to go out to the pool.
Holy cow, she’s taking her wrapper off. She’s got a white bikini under that wrapper. I’ve never seen a cone in a bikini before. It really works. Oh my god. The bikini is coming off. Bare cone, bare cone! She’s jumping in. Shit, I better strip down and jump in to save her. A fluffy mousse cone can’t survive in a swimming pool.
Why would Ellen be so upset that I’m swimming with a mousse cone? It’s not like she has anything like this to offer me.
Oh wait … is this not a mousse cone? It’s not, is it? Is this a hot blonde? I gotta get to Walley World and get my hands on a Walley Whirl Chocolate Mousse Cone.
Beat egg yolks with an electric mixer on high for about 3 minutes. They will be thick and frothy. Gradually beat in sugar.
Heat 1 cup cream in a saucepan over medium heat until hot. Gradually stir half of the cream into the yolk mixture. Then stir the mixture back into the rest of the hot cream in the saucepan. Cook over really low heat for about five minutes (stirring constantly) until it thickens. Make sure it doesn’t boil. Slowly stir in the chocolate chips until they are all melted and everything is incorporated. Cover and refrigerate for two hours.
Place a mixing bowl in the fridge as well, to chill it for two hours.
After the two hours, beat 1 ½ cups cream with an electric mixer on high until stiff and peaks form. Fold chocolate mixture into the cream with a spatula.
Spoon into a piping bag and pipe into the waffle cones just before serving. Sprinkle with chocolate shavings.
Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.