The Economist - and no, I don't mean the magazine[Editor's Note: Down the Hatch is divided into two sections - an in-depth recap of last week's show and an analysis portion that offers insight and theories about the episode. To skip straight to the analysis portion, click here.]
So let's get on with it, shall we?
Previously, on Lost:
And now... The Economist ... Obligatory shot of an eye, this one closed. Pan out to Sayid, meditating next to the helicopter. Jack is grilling Juliet about Ben's connections off the island, while Miles runs his mouth. Sayid pays his respects to Naomi, doing that "close the dead's eyes with their fingertips" thing that I'm pretty sure they only do on TV and the movies. He notices some bling on Naomi's wrist and examines the bracelet. There's an inscription. "N - I'll always be with you. R.G." Yup, gotta be some sort of tracking device from Sloan or SD-6. Miles wants to move in on Locke with guns a-blazin', but Sayid's having none of it. He questions Frank about taking him off the island and back to their freighter. Sayid makes a deal with Frank: If he can safely bring Charlotte back, Sayid has a free ticket on his chopper. And we've got ... flashback, err, forward, umm, present. It's not quite clear which, just yet. It's Sayid, though, and he's playing golf. Looking back on all the torturing and infiltrating of terrorist cells he was doing before he got to the island, I'm guessing it's a safe bet this is a flash-present. I know I'd find it hard-pressed to fit in a round of golf if I had a few months worth of torture and brooding ahead of me. Anywho, he's soon joined by what I believe to be an Italian who's apparently lonely and all up in Sayid's golf business. Apparently, this refined guido is shocked to find Sayid out on the course, as Sayid is the only golfer he's come across all morning. "I believe we are paying quite a premium for that kind of privacy," Sayid says with refined and subtle snark. The guido wants to make a wager because he believes Sayid is using the wrong club. They make it a hundred, as Sayid takes a swing and makes one helluva great CGI shot onto the green. The guido asks Sayid what he does. Nothing, regards Sayid. He then tells him his name and that he's one of the Oceanic Six. It's right about now that the Italian gets noticeably unsettled. Not unsettled enough to ruin his shot, though, as he gets closest to the pin. He tells Sayid not to worry about the bet and nervously backs up to his cart. Sayid insists on paying him, though, and calls him by his name, Mr. Avelino, right before pulling a gun out of his golf bag and blowing the guido away. Sayid calmly gathers his club and calls it a day, walking off the green and through the sprinklers which have now been turned on. Apparently they both paid quite a premium for privacy, but not quite so much that the course operators would care to have the damn sprinklers turned off during regular play. Perhaps Bill Murray was drowning out a gopher or something. Cue the swirling Lost! We're still in flash-present as we see Sayid, looking very debonair, enter what appears to be the swankiest coffee shop in Berlin. I know it's Berlin because he soon asks, in German, if a seat is taken near a pretty blonde, and then proceeds to ask directions to the Pottsdammerplatz. The blonde's name is Elsa, and the two begin the ritualistic repartee that signifies we're going to see these two bump uglies within 30 minutes of show time. It seems Sayid is a headhunter - or rather he works on corporate mergers. Uh huh. We just saw you shoot a guy on the golf course. The corporate world has suddenly gotten much bloodier than I imagined. Elsa works for an economist, or at least that's what she thinks he does. She shops for him, as well as carrying around a half-pound beeper for whenever he's in town. Soon, they've set up a dinner date, and we wait to find out what Sayid Bond wants from her. Back on the island, Sayid notices that Naomi was carrying a picture of Desmond. Clearly, Naomi and the other rescuers' agendas are not on the same page. Sayid suggests they bring back Desmond from the beach to shed light on the whole subject, and soon Juliet, radiant as always, is headed out to get our favorite Scot. Hurry back, sweetpea. Meanwhile, Sayid tells Jack that this mission to get Charlotte back may not be the best one for Jack to be a part of. Sayid plans to bring her back from Locke without bloodshed. "As opposed to how I'd do it," grunts Jack, his brittle ego clearly wounded. "The last time you encountered him, you put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. That's not exactly good diplomacy." BOOYOW, Jack. Your momma. Back with Locke and the Faithers, now. Sawyer's egging on Ben to give up his mole on the boat. He suggests to Locke that they just point a gun at Ben's big toe and if he doesn't tell them what they want to know, they can blow it off and then move on down the line. "Now why don't we do that?" asks James, all smug. "Because then we'd have to carry him," Locke says, wisely. God, he's like a 65-year-old ruthless buddha. I just wanna rub his belly and wish for good luck on days like this. Locke's gazing around, looking for something. There's a line of grey dust in the underbrush, subconciously signifying some sort of pagan ritual or metaphysical spell I've come across in the path. He's looking for the cabin, of course, but it's nowhere to be found. Sawyer wants to know what's so important about this shack, to which Ben states that John is simply looking for someone to tell him what to do. This digs in his craw about as bad as someone calling Marty McFly a chicken, and so Locke is soon crabbily stating that it doesn't matter and that they should just get to the barracks. Hurley's got a slight objection to going to the barracks with Charlotte as a hostage, however. He wants to let her go as a sign of good faith. Locke tells him it'd be a sign of foolishness. I agree. Once you find a hot, british redhead, it's usually a good idea to hold onto her. Back at the chopper, Kate puts a little dig into Jack's ego herself, telling him that this is how she normally feels, not being able to go on missions. He wants her to go with them since he doesn't really trust Sayid. She reluctantly agrees and the torturer, the outlaw and the ghostbuster head off into the jungle of mystery. Sayid's trio begins making their way through the jungle. Sayid is contemplating Naomi's bracelet and begins questioning Miles about his connection to her. He thought she was hot and he dug her accent, further sealing the deal that he's more dick than funnyman. (So what if I say the same thing about Charlotte. I care about her as a person, so there.) Anyway, Miles turns the tables and wants to know more about Locke - more precisely how he managed to split up the happy castaway family. "There was a fundamental debate as to whether your people were coming to rescue us or kill us," says Sayid, matter-of-factly. "And which side did you land on?" asks Miles. Sayid gives Miles his best quixotic glare and simply says, "I'll let you know when I decide." Flash-present! Sayid arrives at Elsa's apartment, dressed in a fine tuxedo, and proceeds to put on his best super-spy routine. Elsa decides to leave her brick, I mean, beeper behind, but Sayid says he'll carry it. He doesn't want her to be fired because of him. Elsa soon questions Sayid about his being still in Berlin. "The job I'm on is proving harder to accomplish than I though," says Sayid. "I was hoping it was ... because of me," giggles Elsa. Oh, honey, if only you knew you were the job. Then again, perhaps you do. Cue up The Spy Who Loved Me on the ol' Victrola, people. Back on the island, we've got high-tension mystery music, as Daniel grabs a case from the chopper and starts assembling some strange-antennaed device. Jack wants to know what he's up to and asks Frank. Frank has no idea. Dan, looking like a kid who just discovered how to fry ants with a magnifying glass, asks Frank for the satphone. He wants to do an experiment. Frank gives him the phone, but tells him to keep to that science stuff. If George gets on the phone, he's supposed to hang up. Mysterious. Dan gets Regina on the horn, sets some buttons on his equipment, and asks her to "fire the payload." Jack and Frank back up further into the tree, and Frank assures Jack that Dan does this stuff on the boat all the time. Regina starts to count down kilometers to Dan's beacon, finally reaching the final mark, but Dan doesn't have whatever he was expecting to arrive. "That's weird," says Regina. "That's far more than weird," wonders Dan. You ain't seen weird yet, Danny boy, says I. Sayid and Co. have reached the barracks and it seems pretty empty. We get shots of spooky clothes fluttering on clotheslines and wind chimes clanging. There's a banging inside one of the houses and the trio bust in, open a closet door and find ... HURLEY! He's tied up and gagged. "They left me!" says he. "Locke's gone off the reservation!" says Hurley, as he starts to ramble about all that Locke has been up to, even mentioning Walt and Sayid goes WALT? and he goes Dude don't even get me started and ... "Where the hell did they go, Tubby?" Miles snarks. "Oh, awesome, the ship sent us another Sawyer," says Hurley. Quote of the episode, says I. Hurley finally tells the three that they left with Charlotte and that Locke says that the rescuers were there to kill us. Are you? he asks Miles. Miles slowly turns, gets a little beam in his eye, and simply says, "Not yet." Crreeeeepy. Anywho, Hurley finally spits out that the group was headed to Ben's house, maybe to lock Ben up in a closet, too. Miles wants to go to Ben's house, naturally. Back at the chopper, Jack wants to know about the Sox winning the World Series. Yes, Jack, believe it or not they pulled it off TWICE now. GO SOX! Ahem. Apparently Frank bleeds Yankee blue and doesn't want to talk about it. Nice cultural tie-in Lost writers. You've still got the goods. Dan's equipment starts beeping just as a missile comes flying out of the sky and lodges itself into the ground mere inches from their feet. Dan is as happy as a fat kid eating a Nutty Buddy, and he tears open the rocket to get the payload. He pulls out the package, looks at his watch and says ohhhhh no. The payload is a clock, and he holds it up next to the digital clock he's brought along on the island. The two time read-outs are about thirty minutes apart. Suddenly I'm wondering when Doc Brown is going to come running out of the brush, grab Dan by the shoulders and tell him that something needs to be done about his kids. Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads. Right on cue, Juliet is back from the beach with Desmond. They're all smiles as Desmond is happy to see the helicopter. Back in the barracks, Sayid and such are in Ben's house. They fan out. Kate kicks open a bedroom door, apparently completely disregarding any element of surprise. She notices a closet door open and rams it open. Nope, nobody in there. Sayid is in the library and notices some scuff marks at the base of a bookshelf and surmises that there's a secret passage behind it. It probably leads to the kitchen, where he can make a guess as to whether it's Miss Scarlet or Professor Plum, with the rope. He pulls the bookcase aside, and finds Ben's secret hidey hole full of suits, passports, world currency and everything a burgeoning globetrotter might need in his quest for worldwide domination. Back in the bedroom, Kate's checking under the bed for monsters of dust bunnies, when she notices a pair of boots coming in the door, much like how they came in the door while young James was hiding beneath it when his father shot himself. Not surprisingly, it's Sawyer. SHHHHHH, says he. SAYID! screams Kate. Sayid rounds the corner to find a gun in his face. It's Locke, telling him not to worry, that Kate's fine. Around another corner comes Hurley, head hung low. "Good job, Hugo," says Locke. "Sorry, dude," says Hurley. Shame on you, says I. Sayid's being marched out of Ben's house by Danielle now, who says that it's "nothing personal." Heh. Sayid wants to know where Locke is, to which Hurley states that he's talking to that angry Chinese dude. Sayid tells Hurley that he's not going to hurt him. "Yeah, well, I saw you break that guy's neck with that crazy breakdancing thing you do with your leg. I think I'll hang back here," quips Hurley, nervously. Ahh, it's good to see Hurley getting most of the best lines, once again. Sayid is ushered to the rec room, where Ben is tied to a chair. Ben wastes no time in getting under Sayid's skin, as he tells him he lost a bet to Locke as to whether Sayid would be stupid enough to fall for his friend as bait. Kate's still playing house/prisoner with Sawyer in the bedroom. Kate wants to know why the hell Sawyer's with Locke. Long story short, Sawyer's in no hurry to get off the island because there's nothing left for him back in the real world. They have a brooding, existential debate about freedom, love, commitment and reality - nothing too far off the course for those two. Locke enters the rec room with some iced tea for Sayid, which Ben wants really, really badly. He apologizes to Sayid for the theatrics, but it was necessary to see how well-armed they were. Wise Locke. Sayid wants to know where Kate and Miles are. "Kate is with Sawyer and Miles is ... somewhere else," half-grins Locke, while sipping his Nestea. Locke and Sayid soon begin the dance of two men with different agendas but, nevertheless, mutual respect. Sayid knows that the rescuers are liars, but he needs Charlotte to get back to the boat. He thinks it's his best bet to find out what they're really doing on the island. Locke explains that Ben knows all about that, and that he has an insider on the boat. Sayid wants to know who that is. It's a secret, of course, says Ben. Sayid wants Charlotte, or a war will be headed Locke's way. Locke doesn't want to give up Charlotte for nothing, to which Sayid replies that he'll get far less than nothing in return, with is charming, Iraqi smile. And ... we have flash-present. Sayid is in bed with Elsa. The Bond trifecta is now in play - beautiful woman with a "chance" meeting, waking up in bed next to said beautiful woman with some fascinatingly complex emotional tapdancing. Elsa and James, I mean Sayid, do the two-step under the covers. No, not that two-step, you perv. I mean, the superspy two-step whereby they ask each other about their "real" lives while contemplating how best to cock a gun without the other hearing. It's clear from their exchange that Sayid is smitten with Elsa, the likely downfall of the superspy lothario. It's also about this time that we know something bad is gonna happen. Sayid agrees to tell Elsa what she wants to know about his mysterious life, but not before Elsa's 1980s-era beeper goes off. She leaps from the covers, ready to do her employer's bidding. Sayid's love for his mysterious mark gets the better of him and he starts telling her that she needs to get the hell out of Berlin because he's there to take care of her employer. She feigns shock at his motives and moves into the bathroom, turning on the faucet. I'm not a superspy, but whenever someone leaves the room and turns on running water, even I know it's time to run or find my pistol. "He's on a list," says Sayid. "A list?" says she. "You just kill people because they're on a list? Innocent people?" "The man you work for is not an economist," says Sayid, shortly before he's shot point-blank by little Miss Undercover Agent. Good god, man, didn't you ever watch Alias? The show was on for three seasons before you got to the island, for fuck's sake. It had Jennifer Garner in it, so don't lie and said you didn't check it out. Sayid's lying on the bed, dying, while Elsa makes a phone call like a good evil lackey. She didn't read the evil lackey's handbook, apparently, since she doesn't know that you're not supposed to keep talking while the hero lies there waiting for death. Sayid starts eyeing the pistol in his jacket and it's not long before he throws an ashtray into a mirror for a distraction, rolls off the bed, grabs the gun, and shoots Elsa in the chest as she re-enters the room. And, in tortured super-spy fashion, Sayid crawls over to her dying form and grabs her hand while looking into her eyes with sorrowful abandon. It's during this time that Sayid notices a bracelet simlar to Naomi's on Elsa's wrist. She dies and he does the "close her eyes with your hand" thing that he did with Naomi earlier. Nice little connection, there, since Naomi is working for the same bastard that Sayid is trying to take down. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Back at the chopper, Desmond is wanting to know what the hell is up with Penny's picture in Naomi's pocket. Frank is clueless. He's never heard of Penelope Widmore, apparently, even though he gives a little curious glance over to Dan while admitting it. Desmond's not satisfied with that answer and tells Frank that he's gonna be on that chopper when it takes off. God, I hope the next episode or two takes place on the freighter. Sayid is heading over the hill now. He's back ... and he has Charlotte in tow. Just the two of them, however. Jack wants to know where the hell is Kate, to which Sayid tells him that she decided to say. Jack is perplexed and saddened. Shock. Frank, meanwhile, wants to know where Miles is. Sayid traded him for Charlotte. "You cheated," grins Frank. "Did I?" asks Sayid. "Yes you did. Lucky for you, that guy is nothing but a pain in my ass," quips Frank. Sayid, one, rescuers, zip. Awesome. Frank starts eliminating passengers on the next helicopter list. Charlotte and Dan both agree to stay on the island. Frank gets ready to lift off, but not before Dan offers him a little advice - make sure he stays on the exact bearing they came in on, and do NOT deviate from it in any way. Frank agrees, even if he doesn't understand. Jack wishes Sayid good luck, and Sayid tells Frank that they should bring Naomi home. They load her onto the chopper and it takes off, with Desmond on board. They soar up and over the island, and we get to see the aerial topography for the first time. They head out over the ocean, and make a bank, and are off ... into the unknown. Flash-present! Dogs in cages. A vet's office, apparently. Sayid stumbles in, clutching his shoulder. An off-camera voice instructs him to take his shirt off. He walks in and does so, taking a seat in a chair. Someone comes in with anisceptic. "Is she dead?" asks the voice. There's something familiar about it. Yes, says Sayid. The voice asks why he didn't get killed. Sayid says that she wanted information - wanted to know who he worked for. "Of course she did," says the voice, as the camera pans up to reveal BEN! Heads explode across America. Ben wants to know if Sayid is crying because it hurts or because he lost her. He wants to remind Sayid what happened the last time he thought with his heart instead of his guns. He also asks Sayid whether he wants to protect his friends, or not. He has another name for Sayid. "But they will know that I am after them now," says Sayid. "GOOD," says Ben. Cue the thonk!
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