And so it goes[Editor's Note: Down the Hatch is divided into two sections - an in-depth recap of last week's show and an analysis portion that offers insight and theories about the episode. To skip straight to the analysis portion, click here.]
It begins like this:
Listen: My brain has come unstuck in time.
thonk.
Without further ado, The Constant ...
We open with the famous picture of Penny and Desmond in front of the fake marina, as Desmond is daydreaming about getting back to his beloved. Des, Sayid and Frank are making their way to the freighter via the chopper. Sayid gets on the horn and wonders why Frank has to have a cheatsheet from Dan in order to find his way. Frank tells Sayid to mind his own damn Iraqi business. The trio enter a stormhead and Frank briefly deviates from the 305 heading and things get a bit hairy. Des grabs hold of his seat and
THEN Des and his company are out in the rain-soaked barracks field now, working out. His friend, Billy, asks him what the hell is up with him, which gets him in trouble with the Scottish R. Lee Ermy, who starts yelling again and
NOW Cue the swirling Lost! Back on the beach, Jack is not happy, as usual, and starts grilling the lovely Charlotte about why his friends aren't on that freighter yet. She swears she doesn't know anything, until Juliet calls her on her bullshit. You know, the only thing that could keep me from going on for half a recap about those two beauties being in a scene together is time travel. That's right, she's a cruel mistress that fourth dimension, but she is my first love. Ahem, anywho, Juliet informs miss Charlotte that she knows ol' Red is full of shit because she's not worried about the helicopter or getting back to her ship. Daniel finally just lets the cat out of the bag "Maybe we should just tell 'em," says Dan. "Dan, let's not confuse anyone," berates Charlotte. "Well, Dan, maybe if you talk real slow we'll be able to follow," quips Juliet. Ooooh, snap. Dan explains that the perception of how long Jack's friends have been gone isn't necessarily how long they've really been gone. Jack just kind of stands there dumbfounded as if someone finally told him that his Dad is really Santa Claus and he's been banging his mother all these years on Christmas Eve. Things'll be just peachy as long as Frank stays on the course Dan laid out for him. If not, though, there might be ... side effects. Understatement of the show, there, Dan. Back on the chopper, Des is going apeshit and Sayid barely keeps him from crashing the heli. Frank makes a sharp bank and suddenly there's the infamous freighter, just waiting. They land on the back, safely, and it's not long before Des is out of the bird and on the deck, wondering who the hell Beefy and Mr. Stocking Cap, who just came running out yelling at Frank, are supposed to be. Beefy and Cap make a move toward Desmond, but Sayid blocks the way. They just want to take Des down to sick bay for a bit, that's all. The Doc is going to want to take a look at him. Desmond doesn't want to go, though, because he's not supposed to be
THEN Billy and Des begin stacking some ammo boxes. Billy wants the story, and Desmond tells him that he's jumping back and forth between the regiment and the island/helicopter/boat. Billy wants to know who was on the boat that he recognized. Des gets a dreamy look and then ... Penny. Penny was in a photo. He has to get in touch with Penny. Des makes his way to a phone booth and digs out some change, but is bumped by one of his pissed-off squadmates. He bends to pick up the falling change
NOW "Hey," a weary voice says from behind Des. He turns and finds Fisher Stevens looking as though he's had better days, strapped into a bed. "It's happening to you, too, isn't it," Fisher says, quite insanely. We're back with Sayid topside. He gets in Frank's face and wants to know what's happening to Desmond and why they took off at dusk and landed in the middle of the day. Frank says he's just trying to help, to which Sayid offers that it would be more help if he could use the ol' satphone to reach out and touch his friends back on the island. They spark a deal - the satphone for Sayid's sidearm. Sayid agrees. Back on the beach, Jack's got a phone call. It's his agent, telling him that Vantage Point was number one at the box office last weekend, but not to get too excited since the only other movies out at the time were the crapfests Jumper and Fool's Gold. Just kidding, it's Sayid. He says that something happened during the flight. Jack puts him on speaker and Dan hears all this and starts in with the crazy questions. Has Desmond recently been exposed to high levels of radiation or electromagnetism? Boy, has he ever! Jack's got the Santa Claus look again. Dan doesn't know why, but going to and coming from the island, some people can get confused. "Is this amnesia?" asks Juliet. "No, this is not amnesia," says Dan. No shit, says I. Back in sick bay, Fisher is catatonic. Des is trying to wake him up. Fisher slowly jumps back into his current consciousness, and remarks that he was just on a Ferris wheel. Cool, was Johnny Five with you?
THEN
NOW Despite the loud, annoying alarm ringing in the tin can that is the freighter, Desmond can hear who's on the other line - it's Dan. He introduces himself. They don't have much time to talk. Dan asks Des what year it is, and he responds - 1996. Dan wants to know where Des is right now. Sick bay, says Des. No, says Dan, he wants to know where Des is supposed to be right now. Camp Miller in Scotland, says Des. Dan instructs Desmond that the next time it happens, he's supposed to get on a train and go to Oxford, Queen's College Physics Dept. "Why?" asks Des. "Because I need you to find me," says Dan, ominously. Oh, it's ON, says I. Dan's searching frantically for his journal, now. Jack still wants to know why Desmond thinks it's 1996. Dan doesn't know, really, it's a random effect. Sometimes it can be a couple of minutes and other times it can be years. "You mean this has happened before?" asks Jack. Give it up, Jack, you can't have all the answers. Back on the phone, Dan is telling Desmond that he needs to tell 1996 Dan to set the device to 2.342 and have it oscillating at 11 hertz. Oh, and one more thing, if the numbers don't convince him, Desmond needs to tell Dan that he knows about Eloise. That's when the door busts open and in pours Keavy and Omar, and Dan is screaming to Desmond to remember Eloise, just remember
THEN We're at Oxford, now, or at least a university that's supposed to represent it. The bell tower is ringing and there are students going to and fro and it's all very academic. Desmond is making his way toward a stone alcove, and soon he sees Dan, long, crazy hair slightly mussed, arguing with a student. Desmond asks if he's Daniel Faraday and then introduces himself. Des says he thinks he's just been to the future. Desmond spoke to Dan in the future and he told Des to get in touch the Dan of 1996. Understandably, Dan thinks it's all a big prank until Desmond tells him that he got that bump on his head while he was trying to hang a clock in his bathroom and slipped, and when he came to, that's when he had a vision ... of the flux capacitor, which is what makes time travel possible. Or something like that. Dan ushers Des into his workspace, cluttered with all sorts of crazy physicsy stuff. A large wooden maze is in the center of the room, and a strange contraption that looks like an antique dentist's light is hanging above on a boom with lots of cords snaking out. This is where Dan does the things Oxford frowns upon. Dan starts manically questioning Desmond about contact with his future self. If Dan told Des to meet with his 1996 self, then Dan would remember their meeting. Des tells him no, he doesn't remember, and Dan is doubtful of that. Dan puts on a radiation chest shield and starts flipping some switches. Des wonders if all this is to change the future, to which Dan has to tell Des that he can't change the future, just like the Jeweler told him last season. Come on, Des, you're not thinking fourth-dimensionally. Des wonders why Dan is shielding himself and doesn't offer him a chest shield. Dan tells him that it's just for repeated exposure. He does this sort of thing about 20 times a day. "So what do you put on your head?" asks Des, wisely. Dan just laughs and we now know why he's a bit confuzzled in the future. Dan has forgotten to remember what he's already forgotten in the future and what's happened has passed. Or something like that. Dan grabs a white mouse and introduces Des to Eloise. He places Eloise in the starting point of the maze, then lowers the dentist's light over her. If the numbers Desmond gave Dan work, then Dan will be able to unstick Eloise in time. He fires up the device and zaps Eloise with a concentrated beam of PURPLISH LIGHT. You guys remember a big, purple light on the island, right? Hold onto that thought. We'll talk about that soon enough. After the zap, Eloise starts to come to. Dan lifts the gate to the maze and Eloise runs it like a champ. Dan is elated. Des wants to know what's so bloody great about a mouse running a maze. What's great, says Dan, is that he just built the maze this morning and he isn't going to teach Eloise how to run it until an hour from now. Whoa. Cool. Dan explains that he sent Eloise's consciousness to the future, but Des doesn't really care because he needs Dan's help. Dan thinks that his future self sent Des to help him, and Des is even more confused. All he knows is that Dan is on a bloody island. Wait, says Dan, why would he go to an
island. Ship, rather. Keamy is wrestling the satphone away from Desmond. The alarm is finally shut down and things calm a bit. Keamy is steamed that Frank allowed Desmond to talk to Dan, but Frank says that Dan just wanted to help. Ray says that Dan can't even help himself and they order Frank out into the hall where he'll no doubt get a good faceful of spite from the heavies on board. Sayid and Desmond remain in the sick bay and start to get to know Fisher ... or, rather, George Minkowski. Y'see, George was communications officer on board the boat, at least he was before he went crazy. Upon hearing Desmond's name, he tells the duo about his duties at the radio. Every now and then, he'd get this flashing light on his console. He was under strict orders never to answer it. "What's that got to do with me?" asks Des. "Those calls came from your girlfriend," says George. "Penelope Widmore." Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn.
THEN "Am I going to bloody die?!" spews Des. "I don't know," says Dan, a bit humbly. Dan thinks that Eloise's brain short-circuited. Her brain couldn't deal with the jumping back and forth because she had no anchor, nothing familiar to tie the disparate times together. Every equation needs stability, states Dan - a constant. Dan tells Desmond that he needs to find a constant, something important that exists in both timeframes. After Desmond wonders if it could be a person, Dan says yes, but he needs to make contact. Des picks up the phone, dials and gets a disconnected message. He's all a man of action now, dashing down the stairs until he
NOW Desmond tells Sayid that he needs his help, he needs to call Penny. George puts the kibosh on that little plan, though, as he tells the duo that the radio was smashed up two days ago by someone on board. He could've fixed it, he says, but he kinda went nuts. I need to remember that excuse at work, sometime. Sayid wants to know the location of the radio room, oh, and also where the kitchen is so he can grab two coconuts, some tin foil and a collander and turn them into a brand new ham radio. George says he'll take them there, so they begin to untie him. Sayid wants to know how they're going to get out of the room, and George says through the door, duh. Seems as though they've got a friend on the boat. Desmond gives George a hanky to wipe the blood from under his nose, and Sayid turns to tell him that it's
THEN Charles is taking a piss and wants to know what Desmond's up to. Des wants to get in touch with Penny, of course. Charles gives Des the usual drubbing, but eventually gives Desmond Penny's address, so that she can tell Des how much she hates him. Charles, being a right bastard, has left the water on in the sink and Des reaches out
to turn it off. George comiserates with Des and tells him he knows how hard it is to be jumping. As the trio make their way down the hall, Desmond wants to know what happened to make George jump. George says that they were anchored here, waiting for orders, bored to tears, when he and another crewmate, Brandon, decided they wanted to see the island. So they set sail ... until Brandon went nuts and they had to head back. Brandon's now in a bodybag, natch. They enter the radio room and it's busted all to hell. Really, really busted, like super-busted. Which means, of course, that Sayid will have it up and running by the time the coffee's perked. George starts to say something again until he goes catatonic and slams into the desk. "After your call, someone has got to tell me precisely what is going on," says Sayid, dryly. Always unflappable, that Sayid. Desmond wants to know if Sayid can fix the radio. He answers in the affirmative, that it will just take him a minute. Of course it will. The dude's better than fucking MacGuyver. George comes to and collapses, convulsing, into Desmond's arms on the floor. Desmond urges George to come back, but George goes catatonic again. Sayid asks Desmond for the number to call, but Des doesn't know it yet. Des glances up at the calendar and realizes that he really is in 2004. It's Christmas Eve, says Sayid, as if he had always celebrated the birth of Christ while he was in the fucking Republican Guard. Still, I guess he just, well, knows things. Anyway, Desmond's nose starts to bleed and then George comes to, having a seizure, bleeding from his eyes, and ranting that he can't ... get ... back ... thud. Yup, he's dead. It seems like an awful waste to have Fisher Stevens on for just one episode. I still get this feeling that we haven't seen the last of George. He could still be the mysterious eye in Jacob's cabin. I'm not quite giving up that ghost just yet, so to speak.
THEN Penny lives at 423 Cheyne Walk, a rather famous street in Old London where many a celebrity and debutante have called home over the years. Des knocks on the door. Penny answers, incredulous that Desmond is standing there. She reiterates that she's wanting to make a clean break and starts to close the door, but Des stops her. He knows it's too late to change things, but he needs her new number and he needs her to listen to him. They go inside. Des tells her that eight years from now he needs to call her and he can't call her unless he has her number. He pours his heart out to his beloved, and tells her that he will call her eight years from now, on Christmas Eve. Eyes wet with tears, Penny finally agrees to give him the number if he'll leave immediately. 7946 0893. Des repeats it, out loud, and Penny kicks him out. Des bangs on the door once again. "I'm not crazy, Penny! You have to believe me, you have to
NOW "I do trust you," says Sayid. "But you still have to remember that number." Desmond repeats the number several times, and Sayid remarks that it's excellent timing since he's finished fixing the phone. He's hooked up a standard lineman's receiver to some wires and a battery and I start shaking my head because I just can't suspend my disbelief long enough to forget that I worked three years climbing telephone poles and there's no way in hell this is going to work. But, hey, Desmond is jumping back and forth through time, so the realism of telephone technology in the middle of the Pacific is just plain nitpicking. The phone is ringing, and Desmond puts it to his ear. It rings several
THEN
"Hello?" answers Penny. Desmond smiles. "Penny?" he asks. Penny is in her apartment, a Christmas tree in the background. She's practically speechless. She wants to know where he is. On a boat somewhere, says he. He's been on island. The crying starts. "You believe me," says Desmond, elated. "You still care about me." "I've been looking for you for the past three years," cries Penny. She knows about the island, and says something about research, but static starts to break them apart. She knew that he was still alive, though, after she spoke to Charlie. Desmond tells her that he loves her, that he's always loved her. She feels the same. More static. Desmond doesn't know where he is, but he promises he'll come back to her. She'll find him, she promises. They say a final goodbye, one last I love you, and then the phone dies. We all wipe the tears from our eyes. C'mon, you cried, admit it. "I'm sorry, the power source went dead, that's all we have," says Sayid. "Sayid," says Des. "It was enough." He smiles. "Are you all right now?" asks Sayid. "Aye. I'm perfect." Back on the beach, Dan is flipping through his journal. Lots of scribbled equations, some diagrams, and a final page with some red writing inside a bold, red box. Dan looks up, wondering if he really wrote this, long ago. There, the page reads: IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, DESMOND HUME WILL BE MY CONSTANT. Cue the thonk! Next week on Lost: I don't know. My TiVo chopped off the preview. But I'm pretty damn sure it's not gonna be as cool as this episode.
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