As I said, we're shooting a movie every day for eight days and in the midst of that, we're getting ready for the next episode. It's very, very intense work and if the roles are spread out nicely enough, it really precludes you from having a life. So I learned that also, being a lead in a one-hour show, unless it's an ensemble piece, is a nightmare.

You and your wife, Angela Basset, have written a book on relationships called Friends: A Love Story. What made you decide to write the book?
We didn't really decide to write it. I was at a cocktail party at our friend Wynton Marsalis' apartment in New York. He lives two or three floors below us. I was sitting at a table talking to four or five guys – and you know guys, we'll sit at a table and talk sports for hours and not even know the names of the guys we are talking to. I was talking to people and there was a lull and people got up and got some more gumbo.

Only two of us remained at the table. The other guy leaned over and introduced himself – he ended up being a book agent and said, "You and your wife, I've followed your career and your work. You should write a book." That's how it happened. It was very organic.

He and I then talked for about a year, and I began to gradually talk to Angela about it. She was reluctant, as was I. I was in New York a lot talking to the book agent and we gradually started to talk more and more, and he gave me more insight. I related that to my wife and we sat down with a writer in New York, her name was Miss Hillary Beard. The four of us sat down over lunch and we all hit it off.

We thought we maybe could do a 150-page book, but the more we started to talk to Hillary, we were very comfortable with her. We realized as we went along that we had much more than 150 pages. She started to see a format and a shape to the book. It was very organic and we were just sharing, the three of us together. As things got a little more hectic, we started doing it separately and over the phone. It evolved into something that was quite remarkable. What separates it is that we're very candid about our lives. It wasn't all pretty, it was a lot of pain, but we're survivors and we also focused on the fact that when we got married, very untraditionally, divorce was not an option.

The honeymoon after a certain period of time is over and then it's time to actually get down to work and to figure out how we are going to navigate this life together. Two are going to begin to come together as one. It's a mystery and it takes work and it takes commitment. We committed to each other and we also told our business people, "You've got to leave us alone and we'll tell you what we have time for, what we can and can't do because we're trying to lay down a foundation for life. Our lives are more important than our work." It's all about decisions. The reason I think that a lot of Hollywood marriages don't work is because the business is more important than the individuals' lives. The problem with it is that before you get married and before you have children in our profession, your agents and managers and publicists rule your life, but when you get married, that cannot continue. A lot of managers, agents and publicists don't like to let a spouse in between them and their client.

When you were writing the book, did you ever worry about sharing too much or giving away too much of your relationship? How did you keep that balanced?
We just started talking. We knew we could always go back and edit. We decided to leave in as much as possible. Otherwise, it wouldn't be our story. If you're going to do it, you're going to share. We wrote about our lives and it's not all pretty. It wasn't all fun, it wasn't all funny. But the victory is that we came through it. Our focus is – God first, each other second. It shapes who we are and the direction of our lives.

You did a play with Angela two summers ago. What was it like working with your wife on stage for the first time?
I hadn't been on stage in 12 years. She and I had never worked together. I made the decision I was going to be exactly like we do in our marriage, which is she's first. Whatever she needs me to do, I'm going to do. We have very different acting styles. She has a photographic memory; I have to put things into my body before I remember them. I think one of the best decisions I made was that we kept our extra apartment in Minneapolis. I had an apartment and she had an apartment and we stayed in one, but we had an extra one. The extra one is where, when we came home from rehearsal, I walked my blocking. She can sit in front of the TV and look at commercials and learn her lines, I can't do that. I'd be up late, but gradually I got my lines and my blocking. Then we were able to run lines together and help each other. And we always said a little prayer before we started the show. It was comforting.

There's no one else like her. At the same time, she's my best friend. It's comforting to be able to be on stage with her knowing I'll be taken care of and if something goes wrong, she'll cover me. I know she feels the same way about me. At the same time, I know the cast and the director appreciated the fact that we were a team and we were all in it together, trying to figure it out together.

Do you plan on working with her again?
Absolutely. We're trying to find another play to do right now.

What would you be doing for a living if you never got into acting?
I don't know. I was pursued by General Motors. I worked there for a couple of summers and they wanted to put me through business school. So, I probably would have been at General Motors.

Tell us something most people don't know about you.
I'm very funny and silly and like to have a great time.

We've got one last thing for you here. I'm going to do a word association. We'll just throw out a name and tell us the first thing that comes to your mind.

Law and Order.
Great people.

Angela Bassett.
The queen.

Courtney B. Vance.
A good man.

The future.
Children.

Interviewed by Joel Murphy, February 2007. Friends: A Love Story is available now.