Invading MySpace

Just about everyone in the world now has a MySpace account. I signed up for one some time ago and I am constantly amazed by all of the people who keep finding on there. I currently have 84 friends and almost all of them are people I know in real life.

Of course, I wouldn't say that I have 84 friends in real life, a lot of the people I have on my MySpace friend's list are casual acquaintances at best. Usually, they find me on MySpace, we send a few messages back and forth asking how the other person has been, then after a week or two, we fall out of touch again.

Somehow even Hollywood got in on the act. Last season, Nip/Tuck set up a MySpace account for "The Carver," which had entries giving a little more insight into the character's motivations. A lot of the cast members from The Office have MySpace accounts and use them to promote the show each week. And those are just two examples. Most new movies, TV shows and bands end up having some sort of MySpace presence. Even our own Hobo Stu has a MySpace account, which is used to promote this site (yes, we are whores, too).

What I can't figure out is why MySpace is popular. And honestly, I'm not really sure I understand the point of the whole thing. MySpace has a blogging feature, but unlike Livejournal or Blogger, MySpace doesn't really revolve around it. In fact, you can have someone on your friend's list and not subscribe to their blog - which means that although they are your "friend," you could really care less what they have to say.

Most people don't use the blogging feature anyway. Instead, they post messages via the site's "Bulletin Board" feature. Of course, a lot of these messages end up being the sort of spam and chain mail I usually try to block from my e-mail account. Or a lot of times, people will fill out surveys and post their answers on the bulletin board, in case you were ever wondering if your friends have ever been to a strip club or kissed a member of the same sex, but have just been too afraid to ask.

The other thing that baffles me about MySpace's popularity is the fact that the site itself isn't run very well. A friend of mine recently had her account completely disappear. She went to log on one day and she just no longer had an account. She's not sure if her account got suspended for some reason, or just disappeared into some sort of cyberspace-Bermuda Triangle. Of course, MySpace didn't tell her what was going on. She had to create a new account and try to add all of her e-friends over again.

On top of that, the site is incredibly unstable. Countless times, I have tried to log onto my account, only to find out that "An unexpected error has occurred." Other times, I'll click on a part of the site only to find out that it's down for routine maintenance. If that bastard Tom wasn't so worried about forcing his way onto everyone's friends lists and promoting the newest MySpace CD, maybe the site would actually run well.

And what is the deal with Tom, anyway? Judging from the photo he provides, I'm guessing he made MySpace because he didn't have a lot of friends in real life. So now, any time one of the cool kids creates an account on his site, Tom is there, smiling awkwardly on their web page. Plus, some of the features on there make me wonder about the guy. For instance, when you send a message to someone on MySpace, you can check your sent folder and see if they have read the message yet and just haven't responded to it. I guess so that you can e-stalk them. "You read my message three hours ago. Why haven't you written back? Why? WHY?" Of course, I can't mock him too much, because in the past, I've gone on there to see if people have read my messages and not responded.

Another touchy subject on MySpace is the "Top 8." Basically, anyone who has a MySpace account gets to list the eight people they like better than everyone else on their friend's list. This inevitably creates awkward situations, where either you see that you didn't crack someone's top eight and suddenly you feel like you aren't really as close as you thought, or you find yourself in someone's top eight and begin wondering, "Does he really think we are that close? I don't even like that guy." I've never seen it happen, but I imagine people have come to blows over the "Top 8."

Of course, with all of its flaws, I still go on MySpace all of the time. It has been a cool way to touch base with some people I have lost touch with over the years - sort of a miniature high school reunion. But, I really do find myself wondering why it is so popular. If you have the answer, feel free to send me a message on MySpace. Just don't sit there waiting to see if I've read it yet. That's creepy, dude.

Random thought of the week:
Do you think people ever accidentally go into shady oriental massage parlors looking for a legitimate massage? I would imagine that eventually leads to a pretty awkward moment ...

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He also has some really hot friends. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.