There is no hell

Oakland Raider wide out Randy Moss' agent, Dante DiTrapano, was arrested and charged with possession of crack cocaine last week in St. Petersburg, Florida. (Talk about the apple not falling far from the pot tree).

Former Washington Redskins linebacker LaVar Arrington's agent, Carl Poston, was suspended for two years last Wednesday for admitting he had Arrington sign a contract Poston didn't actually bother to read first. (And think – if Arrington studied the playbook a little more, and Poston studied contracts at all, they'd both be in much better situations).

And yet, neither topic is what I'm focusing on today. Nope. This week I'm addressing the most relevant team in the NFL offseason – the Washington Redskins. While wins have been hard to come by over the last decade, headlines have not. And most of them start with the Redskins free-spending owner, Dan Snyder. Pick up any sports publication the week the NFL free agency begins and you're guaranteed to see his name (normally followed up by a cheap shot). But how did he become the media's favorite target?

In 1999, The Danny purchased the Washington Redskins and their stadium for a record $800 million. And he quickly made a name for himself the following year when he signed colossal busts like Bruce Smith, Deion Sanders, Mark Carrier and Jeff George to rich free agent deals. From that moment on, his reputation was sealed, and Snyder instantly became known as the rich little spoiled kid who thought he could buy a championship.

Add in the way The Danny handled the end of the Norv Turner era and the Marty Schottenheimer era in Washington, and Snyder was officially the most hated owner in football – passing the face of the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones and the insane Oakland Raiders owner, Al Davis. That, my friends, takes talent. And we didn't even mention the Steve Spurrier Experiment.

So my question is – why do people hate him? Is it because Snyder refuses to rest until his investment becomes as successful on the field as it is off it? (The Redskins are worth more than $1 billion, making them easily the most valuable franchise in the NFL). It's not like the Redskins can pull a "George Steinbrenner" and spend five times as much as the competition, not as long as there's a salary cap to keep the playing field level.

And isn't that a sore subject these days? The salary cap. After seeing the San Francisco 49ers and the Tennessee Titans dismantle quality teams to comply with the salary cap, all of the haters just knew that's how The Danny would be put in check. Sure, he could try and buy a championship, but it'll kill the Redskins for the next three or four years. That's what they said. They even came up with a catchy name, and called it Salary Cap Hell.

All of the experts warned us that the Redskins' frivolous spending in 2000 would result in Salary Cap Hell in 2003. Washington would have no choice but to release several key veteran players in order to be in compliance with the NFL salary cap, the "mediots" would say. But it never happened.

Have no fear; the Redskins day of reckoning would come in 2004. The Danny would learn the hard way that his money might buy him a team, but it could never buy him a championship. That's what the stories on ESPN.com or in Sports Illustrated told us. And yet, it didn't happen.

Another year, another batch of "the Redskins will meet their maker" articles from Peter King, Len Pasquarelli and every other fat and biased sports writer. But say it with me – nothing happened.

This offseason was it. The sports writers were down right giddy, because seriously guys, the Redskins had zero chance of surviving Salary Cap Hell. Pasquarelli went as far as to report that in the event that the NFL and the players association couldn't work out a new collective bargaining agreement, the Redskins could not mathematically get under the salary cap. He claimed that the situation was so ugly that Hall of Fame head coach Joe Gibbs and friends would have to sign as many as 20 rookies to fill out the 53-man roster next season. So what happened? Absolutely nothing.

Should we even bother to tell Lenny P. that a dozen Redskins players had agreements in place to restructure their contracts to help the team not only get under the salary cap, but to put them in position to go after big name free agents? You have to admire his commitment to the Salary Cap Hell story – even if he's completely full of shit. At some point you have to wonder if Dan Snyder landed his private plane on Pasquarelli's house or Bob Big Boy's; why else would the man continue his personal attack year after year condemning Snyder to this hell? (Imagine if you will for a moment if Snyder and the Redskins signed Terrell Owens instead of the Cowboys. Peter King would cry tears of joy as he wrote 2,000 words on why Snyder is the worst owner in the history of professional sports. Instead, he called the move "fantastic" and applauded Jerry Jones. This guy is not even subtle).

Here's the part where I let everyone in on the secret, so you all will know once and for all why the Washington Redskins will never face a Salary Cap Hell. Dan Snyder is a self-made millionaire who has surrounded himself with the best staff money can buy. If he was willing to spend $800 million on the team, do you honestly think he's just going to grab some homeless guy from Southeast D.C. to work the salary cap? No, you can bet this sweet, sweet ass that much like the Redskins current coaching staff, he's got the best salary cap expert money can buy. If there's a loophole, Eric Schaffer can find it. And he has.

The Redskins goal each year is to shift cap money around in a coherent manner that keeps the team from being forced to part with players it wants to keep. That's how year after year the Redskins can sign a player like linebacker Marcus Washington, cornerback Shawn Springs and defensive tackle Cornelius Griffin or trade for running back Clinton Portis or wide receiver Santana Moss. The players still get their money, it's just shifted from one pile to another. And in return, the team gets the best players available.

"The thing I want to emphasize is this: We haven't done one thing that anybody else can't do," said Gibbs last week. "We have certain rules in the league. Here's the cap, here's the numbers, here's what you can spend, so everybody in the league can do what we're doing, it's just that they choose not to, many of them."

Gibbs is talking about teams like the Minnesota Vikings who last year were about $20 million under the salary cap, or the Philadelphia Eagles who had more than $10 million in salary cap room tucked away for a rainy day. So don't be mad that the Redskins are doing it, instead focus your anger at your favorite team, who chooses not to play the game. The salary cap isn't ever going to change the way the Redskins conduct their business. Your only hope is that other teams get with the program and do a better job of recruiting free agents and figuring out how to beat the cap.

Brian Murphy cannot think of a team he would rather see Terrell Owens on than the Dallas Cowboys. The guy tried to desecrate their star logo a couple years ago, and now owner Jerry Jones has brought him in thinking he'll get his act together in Dallas. This will end badly for South America's team, and that is cause for celebration. Contact him at murf@the5holes.com.