Playing hardball

Sorry to break it to you, but America's pastime's time has past. What was once the most popular sport in our country has become a distant second to football and could drop all the way to third if basketball were to ever return to the team-first mindset the rest of the world embraces. Well, that and lose the perennial problem children like Stephen Jackson and Ron Artest.

It just seems that baseball doesn't mean as much to my generation as it did when our fathers and grandfathers were growing up. And this is coming from a white guy. It's to the point that barely any African Americans want to grow up to be a professional baseball player anymore. It's either preppy white kids, the occasional redneck or young Latinos that still dream of making it to the big leagues. Brothers play basketball and football – baseball might as well be hockey these days.

There is a disconnect between the game and much of the 30 and under crowd, and don't just blame it on steroids. Major League Baseball's problems run much deeper than a Barry Bonds homer. So I am dedicating this week's column to fixing all that is wrong with what can still be a beautiful sport.

This is a message for Bud Selig, and the rest of the powers that be - if you want people to take you seriously, then actually consider enforcing your rules. A player violates one of baseball's unwritten rules if he attempts to steal a base when his team is up by six runs, but no one calls out Kenny Rogers for blatantly using pine tar throughout the postseason.

Cardinals manager Tony La Russa went as far as to say that he noticed something on Rogers' hand while breaking down video prior to the World Series, but that he didn't want to "upstage the pitcher" by having an umpire check to see if The Gambler was using an illegal substance.

I can only guess that Tony La Russa had seen what Rogers did to an innocent camera man who got in his way and was afraid the unstable pitcher would break his hip if he dared to make Rogers play by the same rules as the rest of the world. Regardless of La Russa's decision, you need to take action. Everyone in the world can see Rogers has had pine tar on his hand in each round of the postseason, but no one is doing anything about it. Grow a set and suspend the guy for the rest of the World Series and send a message to future cheaters. Does congress have to get involved in everything you do?

The second change needed in Major League Baseball is the use of instant replay. I mean, how easy should this be? Selig and friends expect an overweight umpire standing behind homeplate to see whether a ball drilled down the left field line hooked in front of or just behind the foul pole? That pole is about 330-350 feet away from his tubby ass, so naturally your plan is flawed. Just have a replay booth near one of the dugouts and let an umpire doublecheck if he's not sure. Give him 60 seconds to only review plays the umpires might not be sure about. It increases the chances of someone actually getting the call right … well, unless football referees are manning the replay booth.

Next up, institute a salary cap. No one wants to see the New York Yankees paying one player more money than another team's entire payroll. That's no longer acceptable. Do something so that teams in Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Kansas City and Milwaukee actually have a chance in hell of making it to the postseason. And don't stop at just using a maximum salary cap - take a page from hockey and enforce a mandatory minimum as well. Then those perennial cellar dwellers won't have anyone but themselves to blame if they continue to lose 100 games a year.

Once you've done all of that, you need to do some realignment. Start by throwing the New York Yankees, New York Mets, Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox in same division. That way, they'll beat the hell out of each other all season long and even ESPN will tire of running nightly features on every aspect of their organizations. Then maybe, just maybe, the lead story on SportsCenter can take place in any other city in America every once in a while.

And if we're going to have people take baseball seriously now we're going to need you guys to learn to play in the rain. A little rain never hurt anyone. I mean, ball players all run for cover during a rain delay, but every drunk fan in the ballpark is secretly dreaming of running out onto the field and playing slip n' slide on the tarp covering the infield. Unless lightning is thrashing the ballpark we need guys to "man up" and deal with the elements.

Finally, there's only one thing left to do to make baseball great again. Fire Peter Angelos.

Brian Murphy is the 2005 Defense Department's sportswriter of the year. And he still doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Contact him at murf@the5holes.com.