NBA shoots an airball

As everyone knows by now, the NBA has stolen the spotlight away from the NFL’s playoff race after the New York Knicks and the Denver Nuggets had an impromptu battle royal Saturday night.

While the Nuggets defeating a terrible Knicks team 123-100 would typically not be newsworthy, all anyone has talked about since this past weekend is the fight, the players and the suspensions. For those who may have been out buying Christmas gifts for loved ones, here’s a quick rundown of what happened:

With just over a minute to play in the game, Knicks guard Mardy Collins got the party started when he horse-collared Nuggets guard J.R. Smith, who was on a breakaway. Smith got up and immediately let Collins know what he thought he his bush-league tactics as Knicks guard Nate Robinson jumped in to pull Smith away. Insert Nuggets star forward Carmelo Anthony, who shoved Robinson, before Robinson and Smith tumbled into the front row while fighting.

As things appeared to be calming down, Anthony threw a sucker punch that floored Collins. Knicks forward Jared Jeffries, who looks a lot like Borat, sprinted from the baseline toward halfcourt in an effort to get at Anthony, but tripped over a Nugget (which is fun to say).

Even though his league was now the top story in the sports pages, NBA commissioner David Stern was not pleased with the brawl-for-all.

Stern delivered a smackdown of his own to Anthony in the form of a 15-game suspension, which costs ‘Melo $641,000. Six other players from the two teams were also suspended as the commish sent a … well … stern message to his players that this type of behavior will not be tolerated.

According to a New York Post article, Knicks guard Steve Francis believes there is a racial aspect to why his team's brawl with the Nuggets has gotten so much coverage and why the penalties were so severe.

"In other sports, there are incidents that are way worse than basketball," Francis said. "But because there are more black players in the NBA, it's under the microscope more than baseball or hockey."

While it’s always fun and easy to use the race card as an explanation, Francis is wrong on this one. The truth is, in hockey there are boards separating the players from the fans thereby preventing players from accidentally injuring spectators while trying to beat an opponent senseless. In baseball it’s equally difficult to have any kind of scrum end up in the stands simply because of the layout of a baseball park.

But look at the situation that unfolded during the Knicks-Nuggets game. Even if J.R. Smith and Nate Robinson were white guys, they still tumbled into the front row while fighting. That’s why the commissioner had to lay down the law. He doesn’t want to lose fans because people are afraid to take their families to a basketball game for fear that they may get hurt while a group of gangly men try to girl fight each other.

That’s the other part no one is mentioning – basketballers are terrible fighters. These are guys who can defy the laws of gravity while adjusting in midair to nail a beautiful no-look reverse lay-up. But when it’s time to drop the gloves and defend a teammate, guys like Carmelo Anthony resort to bitch-slapping and backpedaling 70 feet away. Even a headcase like Dennis Rodman was an awful fighter. The only damage he ever did was kicking a defenseless cameraman in the nuts. Just imagine what the scene would have been like in The Garden if any of these men could actually do damage with their fists.

Sadly, this is probably the best publicity the NBA has received this season. The other headlines so far have been less than flattering. With Shaq and Dwyane Wade unable to stay healthy, the defending NBA champion Miami Heat have been pitiful. In fact, the entire Eastern Conference has been unwatchable all season. People are debating whether or not the league should just sent the top eight Western Conference teams to the playoffs and pretend like the east doesn’t exist this year.

Then there’s the whole Allen Iverson debacle. One of the most unique and exciting players sat at home for weeks because his former team, the Philadelphia 76ers, is run by a moron incapable of acquiring any talent other than AI. Things won’t get better for Iverson in Denver – not once he and Anthony realize that they’re not going to be able to jack up 30-35 shots a night anymore. (That is, after Carmelo returns from his suspension, of course).

And I haven’t even mentioned the whole fiasco involving the switch to a new ball this season, and the pending return to the old ball in January after the new one was universally hated by the players. No one in the league office believed seeking the players’ thoughts on a new ball was important. Can’t see why that backfired.

In fact, the only story that even brought a smile to my face since this season started involved the L.A. Lakers and the WNBA’s L.A. Sparks. It turns out both teams will be without their starting centers this year because both Kwame Brown and Lisa Leslie are pregnant. Some things never change.

Brian Murphy is the 2005 Defense Department's sportswriter of the year. And he still doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Contact him at murf@the5holes.com.