Finding Mr. Right (now)

I went out on a date with "M" a couple of weeks ago, and although the chemistry was definitely lacking, I don't have any major negative things to say about our date. He is a nice guy and seems very normal, but nice and normal doesn't necessarily mean he is dating material because it can be quite a bore.

The only negative aspect of our date is that my lovely ex-boyfriend Joey showed up at my house while M and I were there hanging out, which threw me off guard, but I sent him away. Joey, never one to give up without acting like a retard, called me ten minutes after he left to see if I still had company and then revealed what I believe was his real motive for coming over.

"Do you know where I can get some powder?" he asked.

"Why would I know that?"

"I thought you might."

"Uh, no."

"You don't know anyone?"

"Last I checked you're the only cokehead I know."

"Um, right. Okay. Wanna hang out? Can I call you later?"

I guess it's safe to say Joey has moved back to Huntington.

I was hoping that the lack of chemistry between M and I was mutual. He did not seem as though he was blown away by me, but I guess I'm a better date than I realized because he contacted me the very next night to tell me what a great time he had. Funny how things work out like that. If I had been blown away by him, I would have never heard from him again.

I had described M to my friend Justin previously as "shy," and that term seemed to get Justin all riled up. He lectured me about how he felt as though women can be really immature when it comes to guys and are so quick to attach labels to them. I neglected to tell him that M described himself as shy too and I was just going by what I knew; I figured I'd let him rant. He said he felt that just because a guy can sit back and let a woman talk and doesn't feel as though he has to be the center of attention, he gets labeled as shy. I think there is a difference in showing interest in what I have to say and being shy, and while M was a great conversationalist, I could still tell he was extremely nervous throughout the whole date and very timid. I think it's pretty accurate to call him shy.

Justin went on to tell me that he felt women had unrealistic expectations when it came to men and that shows like Sex and the City and romantic comedies starring Meg Ryan totally made it impossible for any guy to get ahead in the dating world.

"The problem is, you all think that all any guy wants is Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba is hot, but we realize we're not going to get her. We just like looking at her. We know that every woman is not going to be Jessica Alba, but you all turn yourself into such psychotic messes over trying so hard to be like her, that it makes you an insanely insecure and you end up placing the blame on us for not being like some guy that you fell in love with on TV. There's a reason you fell in love with him, by the way, he's scripted you know? You hate us for reasons you've fabricated yourself and yet you still expect us to be Brad Pitt. At least we like Jessica Alba because of physical reasons. You all are in love with a freakin' ideal."

I'm sure Justin makes some valid points, but I think he is mostly just bitter since he is going through a divorce right now. Also, men have been objectifying women long before Sex and the City even existed so he can cry about it a little harder for all I care. I'm not looking for Brad Pitt. Hell, I don't even like Brad Pitt. He's looking more and more like Robert Redford these days, and just ew, I'm not a fan.

More than anything, more than like finding a Jason Schwartzman lookalike, or a guy that would make a perfect character in a movie, or someone who says the right things at all times and has perfect timing for everything, all I really want is to find a guy that I can relate to. I don't think that's too much to ask for. My tactic of finding a guy who is great looking and an incredible lay, and then just letting the rest work itself out, hasn't been so great to me. That's how Joey has managed to exist. When is he going to OD already anyway?

Another guy I've been hanging out with, Timmy, is someone I feel I can relate to a little better than M. I feel like I can be myself around him, and despite the fact that he may not seem as "adult-like" as some of the other guys I've been dating, I dig him. He has a bad boy edge, yet still manages to be nice and respectful. Plus, he is full of surprises without even trying to be. I don't know what I really expected Timmy's place to look like, but I was definitely surprised when I visited him for the first time.

Maybe the fact that every time he has shown up at my place he has done so on a skate board, I figured his place would have more of a juvenile, dorm room type feel. It was quite the opposite in fact. His place looked very grown up, with nicer furniture than what I own. There were no posters of The Dead Kennedys tacked up on the wall, no road signs as decorations in sight; Very very neat with no visable weed paraphernalia sitting out on the coffee table.

When he was at my place, he complimented my bed telling me it was the most comfortable bed he had ever laid on, but after seeing his I think he must have been sucking up. His king side bed with a Tempur-pedic mattress made me feel as though I was laying on a cloud. The down comforter did not make getting out of his bed any easier.

I know what he does for a living, so it makes me wonder how he can afford such nice things. It just seemed out of place for a guy who wears his hair kinda long and shaggy and dresses as if he is being sponsored by a skate company. I'm gonna tell myself that maybe he sells drugs on the side just so I can keep up my carefree, bad boy skateboarder fantasy I had conjured up in my head. I mean, I'm not one to be materialistic, but his flat screen HDTV made me have an orgasm.

Recently, I was asked out by Jakob, a 31 year old successful engineer that is handsome to boot, and probably makes more by the hour than I do in a week. So far I've turned down every date because first of all, he asked me out for Monday and the Heroes season finale was airing and there was no way I was gonna miss that. Then Tuesday was totally out of the question because the American Idol season finale was showing, which means he could scratch off Wednesday as well because that's the results show. Some might say I'm crazy for putting TV before my love life, but I've invested weeks into these shows and I'm not going to skip out on watching the final episodes just to go on a date that I probably will not enjoy in the first place. I know who my true friends are.

Besides, I'm actually kind of intimidated by guys who make a lot of money. Maybe I feel like I'm not good enough and perhaps I should work on my confidence, but as soon as I hear that a guy is successful, I get scared as hell that I won't be interesting enough for them. Well, maybe it's not that exactly. I am probably too interesting for them! Who wants to discuss corporate politics when I have a bar story to share?

I think it just comes down to the fact that I really am not impressed by guys who make a lot of money. Unless they want to buy me a flatscreen HDTV, I'd rather get naked with a carefree man-child like Timmy who spends his days designing skate boards and his evenings trying them out in bank parking lots, than a lawyer type in an expensive suit. Sorry about that, mom and dad.

Tashina Savage refuses to give up. Someone email her at sundaysgirl@gmail.com and tell her to throw in the towel already..