 Asexual one night stand
As a conference coordinator, I spend an insane amount of time planning and perfecting international, world-class conferences and expos. Months and months of phone calls and meetings and emails and spreadsheets all boil down to the day I arrive on-site to see if my efforts will congeal, forming a fabulous show that turns a net profit.
Sixteen hour days spent running from one side of a convention center to the other on four-inch stilettos has become easier than it looks and keeping my eyes open at the late night dinners with clients and coworkers is an art I have perfected in earnest. Once I touch down in a city other than my own, I am unstoppable. My rem cycle takes a vacation while my blood becomes caffeinated; even though I may stay in fabulous hotels, I am perfectly content with never seeing my room. Case in point: I just returned from a successful conference in Manhattan a few days ago. I hadn't been to the Big Apple in years, and, while I am not the world's biggest fan of our nation's largest metropolis, I wanted to take advantage of the fact that I was in a city that doesn't sleep. I stayed at the Marriott Marquis, and, while the hotel is simply gorgeous, I couldn't believe I was laying in a cloud bed, in Manhattan, all alone. My team was not set to arrive for another two days and venturing out for drinks alone seemed very unappealing. Enters Craigslist- a bored girl's saving grace. I perused the Strictly Platonic section in search of a New Yorker wearing the same tired shoes, and, to my surprise, found nothing. The time had arrived to take matters into my own hands. I (literally) posted the following: In NY on business from DCQuick and to the point, much like myself; I liked it. I clicked send, confirmed my post and waited. I had no idea what to expect from the city of New York. Responses and pictures quickly filled my inbox. I was underwhelmed. While not a reply worthy of a response, I found this one quite amusing: hey, i'm 27 and live in manhattan. i'm not going to tell you why I should be the one to take you out ... frankly i don't care enough. But, since you're in town for the weekend, i thought maybe you might be interested in hanging out tonite in the East Village with a friend of mine ...Awesome buddy, you really sold yourself with that one! More and more emails trickled in and then the winner appeared: Hey there, what's happening? I was impressed by your post because it seems you possess style and substance. (Really? Perhaps his intuition was speaking.)Sadly enough, this was the most inspiring response I received. While bland at best, the picture attached revealed a Matt Damon look-alike, so, I hit reply. How shallow of me, sure. After exchanging a few emails and deciding to meet at a bar only three blocks from my hotel, I was pumped. I always catch shit when I do this; apparently, I am being "dangerous." Not so. I was simply planning ahead. I knew I wanted to hit up a few bars in order to witness the nightlife of the city, so what is the harm in meeting someone before I got there? Chad waited outside of the bar, I immediately recognized him and we exchanged a comfortable hello-nice-to-meet-you. Mission one accomplished, he looked like his picture and a friendly chemistry was apparent. We sat at the bar; I ordered my standard Captain and Diet, he a Guiness draft. Immediately, true to metro-form, we asked one another about our jobs. I always maintain that we live in an extremely small world and Chad further confirmed my belief. He was good friends with someone that works next door to my office building and provided me with a key business contact. Mission two accomplished, I got something out of this. Five weak cocktails later, we discovered we both shared a love for fishing. He talked about his experiences while fishing in Nagshead; I enlightened him as to the fabulous fishing in the Dry Tortugas. We swapped childhood stories and laughed uncontrollably. We were two contemporaries bouncing off of one another as if we had known each other for quite a long time. I had to wake up early the next morning, so we called it a night once the clock struck one a.m. We gave each other a hug, I thanked him for the conversation and for picking up the tab and told him he was more than welcome to visit our fabulous nation's capital, a place he had yet to visit. We parted ways and our lives went on as usual. We both followed-up via email the next morning and a casual friendship was formed. Mission three accomplished, I chose the right guy and this wasn't a complete waste of time. So where was the danger? Where was the murder scene that some of my friend's were waiting to see on the news? When was I raped? Did I miss something? Over the course of three hours, my conversations with Chad never reached the subject of sex. Perhaps he is a stellar gentleman, or maybe he actually READ my Craigslist post and wanted nothing more than a night out with a fellow stranger looking for something different to do - much like his initial response indicated. Even though I am female, I am told I have balls of steel. But, why? I setup a date, in a public place, a busy one at that, knowing thousands of other people would be trotting along the streets around me. I never once felt unsafe or as if a tragedy might occur. In my opinion, the worst that could happen was that he would be boring and wouldn't live up to the witty emails we exchanged before meeting up at a local watering hole. Since getting back to DC, I have talked to Chad a few times and he is really enthused by the prospect of visiting my hometown. I find a certain satisfaction in sharing my city with someone else just as he had with his. Had I gone out alone, who knows if someone would have talked to me. I didn't know if New York City operated like DC in the sense that approaching women is far too great a risk of damaging one's ego. And I still don't know, and quite frankly, I don't care. I had a respectable time with a respectable man and I look forward to seeing him again. During my travels, I have found that not all men are looking for naïve ladies on which to feed. I have found quite the opposite. By prescreening my night's diversion, I landed in DC with a great story to tell and a penciled-in fishing adventure on the Chesapeake. Doing your homework, using your brain and keeping your chastity belt in place really can yield great rewards. I encourage my fellow females to abandon their hotel rooms and take advantage of being somewhere different, outside of our comfort zones; contrary to popular belief, posting a quick platonic personal is not taboo and doesn't make you a lonely slut; you never know when you could meet a friend! The typical person may frown upon solicited drinks with a stranger, but ladies, come on, if you play your cards correctly, you just may meet a pal for life without exposing yourself to any danger. Sydney Savage is an International Conference Coordinator by day and gregarious Washingtonian by night. Feel free to criticize her opinions by emailing her at sydneysavage@hobotrashcan.com.
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