The song remains so lame

My mother liked Led Zeppelin. She would be 75 years old today, God rest her soul.

So how does a woman, born during The Great Depression, raised on Cole Porter and George Gershwin, get to like and respect four long-locked English rock demigods from the ultra indulgent 1970's? Simple: my mother had excellent taste in music, and she could recognize talent and passion when she heard it. It was no matter that the style and sound were completely foreign to most of her generation; she understood Zeppelin, and thus understood why I worshiped them.

Which was a good thing, because as a young teenager, I spent countless hours in my room playing song after song on my stereo, feverishly trying to copy Jimmy Page's mercurial guitar licks on my Aria Pro II guitar. Most other moms would have never allowed such tomfoolery! But even though she was writing a book at the time, mom tolerated the learning process, because, well, Zeppelin sounded good to anyone. At least that's what I tell myself.

I'll never forget the night when I had finally perfected "Stairway to Heaven." Mom came in my room in a bit of a huff and turned down the stereo knob, only to discover that the sounds were not coming from the speakers, but from the guitar and amplifier that her son had begged her to purchase. She looked at me in genuine astonishment, and said "Wow, that's really good, Evan. But you're still going to have to turn it down. I can't think right now, and if you want to eat next year, I'm going to have to think so I can finish this book."

Eating vs. Zeppelin. A tough choice. I reluctantly chose food.

On the way to the Kennedy Center of the Performing Arts to see CATS one evening (an evening we all regretted - I mean, how CATS has managed to become the longest running musical in history totally escapes me. It's just a bunch of people in cat costumes prancing around a stage for over two hours. We left shortly after the second act had begun, in near hysterics at how awful it was), I sat gloomily in the back seat of the family vehicle, donning my li'l teen monkey suit, while my mother and sister sat up front. Then, like a sick dog getting thrown a meaty pork shank, "Rock and Roll" came on the radio. The second song on Led Zeppelin IV was my absolute favorite tune at the time, and as such, my mother and sister had heard it dozens of times.

Yet much to my surprise, they didn't turn the station. Instead, they actually turned it up! Then came a moment that I will never forget. My sister, my mother, and Robert Plant all sang the chorus in unison: "Been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time."

What a great memory. It solidified the notion in my head that Led Zeppelin was the greatest band of all time (with the exception of the Beatles, who were on an island of greatness all their own, and didn't generally enter into discussion of "the greatest band ever").

With the recent release Mothership and their well-received reunion show in London two nights ago, we are all reminded again of the greatness that is Led Zeppelin. But it brings us to some obvious questions, which I ask at the risk of sounding like some old guy that always says stuff like this.

Why hasn't the world been able to produce another band that so captured the essence of rock? Why is Led Zeppelin so much better than everyone who has tried in vain to follow in their footsteps?

Of course, these two questions open up a can of worms so large, it could provide rednecks with enough bait for the next decade. Music is subjective; to each his own.

Except for this: never has a band influenced so many people from so many different cultures and different generations. John Bonham's pounding beat from "When the Levee Breaks" has been sampled by so many hip hop artists, it would be tough to catalogue them all. Countless hard rock spinoffs have copied everything from Robert Plant's hair to Jimmy Page's whirling guitar leads, many of which seem only to have a starting point, an ending point and 58 million notes in the middle. These wannabes come off as cheesy, banal hacks that are hopelessly out of their league, utterly incapable of reproducing the subtle grace and mysterious power that flowed so confidently from the soul of Zeppelin.

Some would claim that U2 has gained this type rock God status. Oh puh-leeze. For me, U2 actually marks the beginning of the end, when musical talent became secondary. Sure, there have always been bands light on talent that got by on mostly attitude, and we loved them for it. Some of these bands had a dynamic personalities and excellent songwriters (the Rolling Stones come to mind, though they have subtle talents that are all their own. No band has ever had better interaction between guitarists than the Stones). And certainly, Bono could accurately be described as a charismatic magnet with an undeniable talent in crafting a decent song every so often.

But where's the music? In case you're thinking "U2's The Edge is an amazing guitarist," allow me to disavow you of that notion straight away. No he isn't. The Edge has gotten by on some admirable uniqueness and relentless, gratuitous usage of a delay pedal (ask a guitarist what a delay pedal is). And who the hell calls themselves "The Edge" anyway? Oooooo, he's so ... edgy. Pfffft.

Call me old fashioned, but I miss the complex arrangements and experimentation that marked Zeppelin's efforts, especially in the later years. And sure, they could be just a simple rock blues band as well, but when they were, they knocked the door down, kicked your ass and stole your girlfriend, musically. And you admired them for it. Please tell me what other band has been able to accomplish both feats.

With a few exceptions, post-Zeppelin rock bands just don't seem to spend as much time getting the music right. They seem either unable or unwilling to produce chord changes and musical harmonies that evoke the same strong sense of emotion without words. It's a lost art, and most A&R men consider it a waste of time to focus on the music. Just get a sound, cop an attitude of one form or another, and sell some CDs.

Some bands are trying. The grunge era produced some decent stuff, especially by Pearl Jam and Soundgarden (though Pearl Jam's latest was, I thought, exceptional - they are still getting it done). I guess one could add Nirvana, but I never did much care for them.

Today, bands like The Killers are trying to fill the void. I especially like Gomez, even if their sound is a bit lighter than the bands I've mentioned. Their efforts are admirable and I enjoy their music. I gladly spend my hard earned money seeing their shows.

But there's a reason that, 27 years after their official demise, Led Zeppelin continues to make new fans in high schools across America. You think anyone is going to be wearing a Coldplay T-shirt three decades from now? Doubtful. But today, I see kids young enough to be my son sporting the Swan Song logo proudly. They've been bitten by the Zeppelin bug, even though Bonham died a decade before they were born. That tells you all you need to know.

Despite countless challengers over the years, Zeppelin stands alone. Achilles would be proud.

Evan Redmon gets a lot of spam. If you are not spam, please feel free to drop him a line at evanredmon@yahoo.com.