Thomas Edison's kinetoscope began showing movies in 1894


By Bular

Editor's Note: This column was written while Bular was drinking. The goal is to have a sort of running log of her night as it progresses. It's our version of drunk dialing. All of the spelling and puncuation is purposely left as it was written. So, please enjoy, but remember kids, drinking is bad.

Drunk entries? I suppose if you want drunken columns, I'm probably your best bet. I have been known to drink like a fish, according to 99.9% of my friends.

Tonight is my brother's birthday. What better time to start a drunken column than now? NEVER I SAY NEVER. So I will update you all throughout the night as to how my alcohol level is doing.

8:59 PM

OK, so it's 8:59 pm and I am well on my way to getting intoxicated. The people are here, the beer stick is here (for those of you who are curioius, a beer stick is the coolest invention ever. You know paint sticks, where you stick a roller on the end so you don't have to keep refilling the paint? Well you fill it with BEER and then you drink it, like a beer bong. You can usually fit about 3 beers in it. It's awesome. I don't lie. Try it sometime.) Anyway, the beerstick is here, I am here (what more could you want?!?!?), I made NEON cupcakes....my sister who is the biggest lightweight in the world is wasted and drunk dialing, and as I said before...I'm well on my way to joining her. So I'll save the rest for later.

I think my room has decreased a shade in color. No for real. It looks dim, like I'm looking at a movie from 1950 or something. Did they have movies in 1950?? No one knows. If they did, they would look like what I'm seeing right now.

11:03 PM


Friend Skylar, Bular and Gary having "furn"
I realized why my room is dim, the lightbulb burnt out. Now my room is dark. My sister did not listen to me, and now she is pukein=ng on her arm in the bathroom. More people are comign, we ran out of beer, I am ddrinking a lot, gary (my boyfriend) is leaving me, goodbye. He is also grabbing my boob as I try to type the end talk to you later.

12...somethingggggish.

too many jag bombs. we dangcided danced to boy band d music and my sisster hurt her foot. we are having furn.

3 AM

(Apparently this was written by gary) It's 3 am.... I puked in the toilet.... then I puked into a bucket while I was sitting on my bed. Gary held a bucket for me while i puked and i got it all over his hand, but he waited until i was done. then he got a glass of water for me. I drank some water, said a bunch of stuff that didn't make sense, pushed him away when he was trying to put his arms around me, and then passed out.

morninh.

still durnk. oh yeah and my other roommate is getting dudasdn I CANT TYPE YET drunk again and its like 11 qam. lets talk about the fact that rverytiyne everyone got drunk including me, apparently i puked, my potentiaql roommate sucks, i puked on my boyfriends hand, and i have to live in a place thta i hatE FOREVER.

Bular is a web developer from Minneapolis. Her favorite drink is Redheaded Slut, which her friends have renamed "The Bular." You can schedule an intervention with her at bular@hobotrashcan.com.


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