Bacon and Legs – Bob’s Burgers Daily Specials

Fontina Turner

Fontina Turner

I want to be Linda Belcher.

Restaurant owner and operator. Married to H. Jon Benjamin. Comfortable enough with her body to flash her tits on television. Hell, I’d even want three kids if they were funny enough to be cast on Flight of the Conchords.

So I may have let myself get a little carried away this week. The new season of Bob’s Burgers started last night and I wanted to celebrate. So what’s a logical thing to do? Make a burger. Nope … I made four. I took my four favorite “Burger Specials of the Day” and brought them to life. I’m just proud that I stopped myself at four. It could have been Epic Cow Slaughterfest 2013.

So how excited are you to hear which ones I picked? These are all 50 percent remarkable pun/50 percent great burger idea. Some were great puns, but boring burgers and some were great burgers, but boring puns. I think these are the four most perfectest of all of Bob’s burgers.

First up! The Eggers Can’t Be Cheesers burger. A delicious burger, a fried egg and American cheese. It’s pretty simple and pretty amazing. It’s essentially a breakfast burger. You could even add some bacon or sausage to it and really rock your socks off.

The second one was actually my favorite. But seeing as I’m famed cheese-addict, Fontina Turner, that’s a predictable statement. It’s the Don’t You Four Cheddar Bout Me burger. Yup, FOUR kinds of cheese. Bacon cheddar on the inside, three kinds of cheddar on top. It’s so rich and gooey and amazing.

Third, and largest: the Mushroom with a View burger. A double decker burger covered in sautéed mushrooms and onions and melty fontina cheese. You better have a big mouth and a huge appetite, but it’s totally worth it.

And last and most remarkable: The Poutine on the Ritz burger. A delicious meatloaf-style burger made with Ritz crackers and topped with french fries, cheese curds and gravy. This is the only one that differs from the description Bob had in mind. Rather than having a burger with poutine on the side, we’re crazying it up a bit.

“You always do this, Lyn. Whenever you entertain, you put way too much effort into it and drive yourself crazy.” -Bob

BOB’S DAILY SPECIALS

Eggers Can’t Be Cheesers

Ingredients

  • 1 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)
  • kosher salt and pepper
  • 4 buns, toasted if desired
  • olive oil
  • 4 eggs
  • 4 slices of American cheese

Start by shaping your beef into four patties, around an inch thick. You want them thicker on the outside and thinner in the middle. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using an iron skillet.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 3-5 minutes per side or until done to your favorite levels of pink. The last minute, top them with cheese so it can get a little melty in the skillet.

Remove burgers to the buns. While the skillet is still hot, crack your eggs into it and cook them over-easy. Place on top of your cheeseburger, put the bun on top and serve.

Don’t You Four Cheddar Bout Me

Ingredients

  • 1 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)
  • kosher salt and pepper
  • 4 buns, toasted if desired
  • olive oil
  • cheddar
  • cheddar
  • cheddar
  • cheddar

Start by shaping your beef into four patties, around an inch thick. Stuff one of your cheddars in the center of the patties. I used bacon cheddar for this purpose. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using an iron skillet.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 3-5 minutes per side or until done to your favorite levels of pink. The last minute, top them with your other cheddars so it can get a little melty in the skillet.

Remove burgers to the buns. Let rest for a few minutes. Top with the top of the bun. Obviously. Eat. Make more. Eat more.

Mushroom with a View

Ingredients

  • 2 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)
  • kosher salt and pepper
  • 4 buns, toasted if desired
  • olive oil
  • 3 tbsp butter
  • 2 cups of mushrooms, sliced
  • 1 /2 onion, diced
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 4 slices fontina cheese

In a skillet, over medium heat, melt butter. Add garlic and cook 2 minutes, or until fragrant. Add in mushrooms and onions. Cook for 8-10 minutes, until onions are brown and mushrooms are yummy-looking. Remove to a bowl.

Shape your beef into eight patties, around an inch thick. You want them thicker on the outside and thinner in the middle. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using the same iron skillet I used for the mushrooms/onions.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 3-5 minutes per side or until done to your favorite levels of pink. The last minute, top them with a spoonful of the mushroom/onion mixture and a slice of cheese so it can get a little melty in the skillet.

Remove burgers to the buns. Stack ‘em up, two high. Let settle for a couple minutes. Top off with the bun. Try, just try to get your mouth around it.

Poutine on the Ritz Burger

Ingredients

  • 1 lb beef (80/20 gives you the juciest burgers, but you can go leaner if you like)
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 onion, diced
  • 2/3 cup quick oats
  • kosher salt and pepper
  • 4 buns, toasted if desired
  • olive oil
  • 2 cups frozen french fries
  • 1 cup cheese curds
  • 1 can beef gravy

Cook your frozen french fries according to the package.

Meanwhile, in a bowl, combine beef, egg, onion and the oats. Blend with hands, or spoon if you’re a wuss. Once fully incorporated, shape your beef mixture into four patties, around an inch thick. You want them thicker on the outside and thinner in the middle. Salt and pepper both sides.

Preheat your cooking surface over medium-high heat. (I’m using an iron skillet.) Drizzle olive oil on your surface and wait for it to get sizzly. Cook your beef patties 5 minutes per side or until cooked through.

Meanwhile, heat your gravy, according to the directions.

Remove burgers to the buns. Top each burger with a handful of fries, 1 /4 cup cheese curds and drizzle with gravy. Let settle for a minute. Top with the bun and devour, eh?

Fontina Turner, a food blogger and graphic designer from Philadelphia, makes classy-as-fuck comfort food and consumes an unhealthy amount of cheeses and craft beers. She can be found in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or trying to make H. Jon Benjamin love her. Contact her at thelegs@baconandlegs.com.

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