Finish That Fortune 7
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We provide you with the first half of a fortune from a fortune cookie and it’s up to you to fill in the blank (and you can’t just write “in bed”).
Every week, we will pick the funniest response. You won’t actually win a prize, but you will get the satisfaction of knowing that you are better than everyone else. And your name will be printed here on the site, so that others may bask in your glory.
Without further ado, here is this week’s fortune:
- To lower your stress level, get a _____.
Leave a comment with your response. The winner will be announced next Thursday.
Last week’s winner: Murf, who wrote: “Your co-workers take pleasure in your free mustache rides.”
Theresa Madeline is the brainchild behind Finish That Fortune, a contest originally designed primarily to keep herself and those close to her amused. When she is not providing an arena for her friends to out wit each other, she is imparting her love of words and humor on the next generation.
To lower your stress level, get a perm.
No one’s really getting a perm nowadays, but I’m from New Zealand where the 80s never went out of fashion. Just think how less stressed you would be looking like Ronald McDonald or a young MJ.
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To lower your stress level, get a lobotomy.
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To lower your stress level, get a hooker and snort coke off her ass.
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To lower your stress level, get a self propelled vibrator. This way you don’t even have to work to get off.
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To lower your stress level, get a belt, a lemon wedge, and book yourself a room at a Bangkok hotel.
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To lower your stress level, don’t get caught banging interns.
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To lower your stress level, get an Assault Rifle.
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To lower your stress level, get a box of Twinkies. And a cricket bat. Just in case.
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… gig on the Jimmy Fallon show. No one watches that shit.
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