While I think that I made it pretty clear last week that I would rather be Patrick Bateman’s housekeeper than have Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton as my President, I do believe that The Donald is right about one thing: when it comes to the media, it is him and a half-hearted Fox News against the world.
Yes, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, et al have been claiming for years that the “lame stream” media (especially the late night shows and CNN) is in the bag for the Democratic Party. But, with a post published by TVline.com on November 5th, 2016, we may have definitive proof that Trump is actually … eew … right.
In the post, author Ryan Schwartz offers a slideshow collection of the “Best and Worst” late night TV sketches, interviews and rants about what he correctly labels as “the most vicious election cycle – possibly ever.” This is a go-to concept for TVLine, though usually the subject matter is considerably more lightweight than people with audiences of millions (and Chelsea Handler) using their jobs to campaign against a presidential candidate, and is almost always fairly evenly divided between “BESTS” and “WORSTS.” Usually.
Let’s take a look at the list …
- BEST: John Oliver wants to #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain by forcing the candidate to revert to his original family name.
- BEST: On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, actress Lauara Benati makes fun of Melania Trunp for plagiarizing parts of her convention speech.
- BEST: Trevor Noah imagines a dystopian future if Trump is elected.
- BEST: Bill Maher scorches Julian Assange for seeking out Hillary Clinton’s emails.
- BEST: Samantha Bee demolishes Matt Lauer for his performance as moderator of the Commander in Chief debate because he was “easier” on Trump.
- BEST: A very funny SNL digital short about a day in the life of Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway and the constant fire-fighting involved.
- BEST: Jon Stewart shows up at a Colbert broadcast live from the RNC to take shots at Sean Hannity for liking things about Trump that he hates about President Obama.
- BEST: President Obama reads “Mean Tweets” on Jimmy Kimmel Live and takes a hard shot at Trump.
- BEST: Seth Meyers tells Bernie Sanders supporters to get in line and support Hillary.
- BEST: Samantha Bee calls U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan a “pussy” for supporting Trump.
- BEST: Will Ferrell reprises his role as former President George W. Bush to warn SNL viewers against voting for Trump.
- BEST: John Oliver compares Trump’s and Clinton’s various scandals… while dismissing Clinton’s and saying all of Trump’s are worse.
- BEST: Bill Maher asks the candidates for a return to civility by supporting the eventual winner. Yet calls them “Hillary” and “Orange Hitler.”
- BEST: An SNL “Black Jeopardy” sketch in which Tom Hanks plays a white Trump supporter who is loved by the black contestants and hosts until he falls into a BML trap question.
- BEST: Another Colbert/Stewart in which Colbert searches for a retired Stewart so that they can negatively riff on Trump.
- BEST: An SNL cold open debate sketch in which they mocked Trumps creepy for the way that he stood behind Hillary while she spoke.
- BEST: An SNL cold open Democratic primary debate.
- BEST: Seth Meyers ridicules Trump supporters that question the veracity of the sexual assault claims against him.
- BEST: Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers literally tell Trump to fuck off.
- WORST: Jimmy Fallon goes light on Trump during an interview.
Okay, so let’s eliminate #9 and #17 because they nothing to do with the current race (way to desperately get your list to 20 entries there, Ryan) and see what we have left …
Eighteen entries, 17 of which destroy Trump and are classified as “BEST”s, and one in which Jimmy Fallon goes easy on Trump during an appearance on The Tonight Show and is labeled THE ONLY “WORST” on the list.
As if proving that big time late night television is completely in, and frighteningly forward about, their contempt for Trump, Mr. Schwartz piles on with an interesting notation in the Jimmy Fallon slide. In each slide, Schwartz offers a BEST/WORST header, followed by a descriptive title, then a comment from or on the programming that he’s rating.
But, after labeling the Fallon slide WORST, he doesn’t describe the performance as much as condemn the host responsible …
WORST: Fallon loses all credibility by mangling Trump’s mysterious mane
… and following it up with, instead of a quote or summation of a dialogue exchange from the episode, a quote from Trump-hater Samantha Bee …
When Holocaust survivors are telling you, ‘hey, [Trump] gives me déjà vu,’ maybe don’t invite him up into your house to play with your adorable children.
That is, quite simply, a hit job through and through.
Yes, I despise him, too, and no, these people are not “news anchors” or “reporters.” But the fact that they reach millions of people, never bother to implicitly label their partisan vitriol as “opinion” and are distributed by media CONGLOMERATES with their own agendas is problematic.
If, as Slate would have you believe, money isn’t speech and corporations aren’t people, then the same should apply to TV, radio, and internet programming because most of what reaches us is backed by billion-dollar corporations that are steering our elections to one side at a 17:1 margin. And that “1” wasn’t even “Pro-Trump,” it just wasn’t “Anti-Trump.”
TVLine champions themselves as dedicated to “all things TV, without the distractions of celebrity gossip, box office reports or the like …” but with a post like this, they’ve joined the vast majority of the media serving as extensions of the Clinton PR corps.
And in the process, made Trump right.
Now stop reading and GO VOTE!
Tony Marion is a writer and filmmaker who splits time between Lancaster, PA and Baltimore, MD. He lives for the work of Descendents (the band), Chuck Palahniuk and Rian Johnson. Check out the digital embodiment of procrastination he calls his website here.