Chris Kirkman

I’ve been digging through the old mailbag now that I have put my second brain in a jar for the television season, and scattered amongst the myriad of spam I accumulate were more than a few letters asking me where one could locate previous editions of Down the Hatch. I was quite flattered. I was also inspired to try something new this week (and it didn’t hurt that Joel Murphy asked me to fill in as a guest columnist for a day).

Since Lost is no more until next January (I KNOW), and we’ll all be rewatching the episodes and perusing the DVD extras on the fifth season discs in the fall, I thought we could have a little fun with a prologue to this season. Today’s Down the Hatch is going to have its own little look at some “extras” – a few bits of trivia and a look into the primitive origins of this humble little weekly feature.

Welcome, I’m Chris Kirkman, and this is the orientation film for Station 23 of the Dharma Initiative. In a moment you’ll be given a simple set of instructions for how you and your partner will fulfill the responsibilities associated with the station. But first, a little history.

• Down the Hatch first appeared on Hobotrashcan.com on February 7, 2008, with a recap, analysis and episode-inspired drink recipe for “The Beginning of the End” – the first episode of season four. I was recruited by the Hobo himself, Joel Murphy, and he has regretted that decision ever since. The archived versions of Down the Hatch from that point on are located here, and they all stand to the same golden standard that the feature does to this day – a completely ridiculous and rambling recap with various jabs at Jack and Kate, a close-up shot of lovely Juliet, a cue for the thonk! and several pages of indecipherable geekspeak about ley lines, time travel, the DeLorean, Sam Beckett, Egyptian gods and other various subjects that would look right at home in Daniel’s journal. Before Down the Hatch existed in this form, however, my recaps and analysis were found, sometimes in much more freeform style, in a community that I created and maintain on LiveJournal. The first ever analysis of any episode was that for the premiere of season two – way back on Sept. 23, 2005, when I used to ride a dinosaur to work every day.

• The first semblance of a real recap was on Feb. 16, 2006, in my recap and analysis for episode 14, “One of Them.” In this episode we had Benry! Tree Frogs! Torture! Kelvin! The countdown timer reveal heiroglyphs! It was all very exciting.

• The first appearance of “Cue the thonk!” was at the end of the recap and analysis of episode 15, “Maternity Leave.” One of the more fun quotes from the recap, and also one of my favorite scenes of all time:

“Back at the hatch, Jack starts the dick-measuring contest again by letting Henry out of the closet for some hearty Dharma-O’s with Locke. Henry turns out to be a really lousy brunch date when he gets even more creepy by telling them about the map, and that, if he were really an Other, he would have drawn the map to a secluded location where his friends could ambush anyone showing up. His bug eyes almost leaping out of his head at this point, he asks for some milk. I say go ask Hurley. He’s probably got some.”

By the way, you can listen to all of Emerson’s creepy monologue as Henry Gale at the beginning of last week’s Hobo Radio podcast. It’s pretty awesome as an audio clip – your mind makes it even creepier by filling in the details about Ben that we’ve learned since then.

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For those so interested, the following are the baby features I wrote way back when for the first three episodes of season two. There isn’t much recapping, and there’s no sign nor mention of time travel OR the blast hatch map in my analyses … mostly because those would become fixtures during season two.

Analysis for Season Two, Episode One – “Man of Science, Man of Faith”
(Article published on Sept. 23, 2005)

The following thoughts and reflections have been compiled during the past couple of nights scrutinizing almost every single frame of the season finale and premiere. The following topics are discussed: Desmond’s Dharma logo and its significance in relation to the symbolism of the yin yang, the Chinese Ba-Gua and the sadhana yoga use of swan imagery; the significance of the message on the inside of the hatch; imagery found on the wall in Desmond’s compound; mirror and opposing forces imagery and themes throughout the series; Mama Cass.

QUARANTINED
1. First, let’s talk a bit about the insignia that appears on Desmond’s coveralls, medicine cabinet and various places around the underground compound. Here’s my recreation of what the insignia looks like. Bear in mind that a couple of parts of this graphic are pure speculation, but from various frames in the premiere, it’s as accurate as can be.

Let’s break it down, shall we? There’s a whole lotta religion going on.

Easily the first thing to notice is the modified yin yang in the center. The Yin Yang is an ancient chinese symbol denoting opposing forces, sometimes explained as light and dark, passive and forceful, male and female. The two halves of the yin yang are equal and harmonious. It represents the energy and balance in the universe. Our symbol here has a slightly unbalanced yin yang because of the swan that intersects it, but I’m not reading too much into that right now. I think it’s just a design anomaly.

Next, the Swan and the word “Dharma.” The word dharma comes from the teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism and usually relates in both religions to the powers and forces of the cosmos. In Buddhism, particularly, it also describes conduct that is used as a set path to enlightenment. Regardless, in both instances it relates to a principle or law that orders the universe. It’s hard to make out in any of the screen grabs, but I believe that the R in dharma is reversed in the logo. This would fit in well with the “mirror” theme running through much of the show towards the end of last season and the premiere. I’ll talk more about that later. The negative space in the middle of the yin yang creates the form of a swan. The Swan is representitive of one of the teachings in sadhana yoga, a technique that helps focus one’s being through meditation. It is an acronym for Strength, Weakness, Ambition and Need.

The symbol as a whole closely emulates the Ba-Gua, one of the tools used in feng shui to help determine preferred locations, in the home or office, for certain functions; such as wealth, health, fame, love and more. The ba-gua is an ancient symbol that utilizes the chinese binary system. The ba-gua is comprised of arms of yao, each comprised of both yins (female – denoted by two short dashes) and yangs (male – denoted by one long dash). The yin is equivalent to the number 0, the yang a 1. It is these numerical designators that relate it closely to today’s binary computer code. The eight gua form a harmonious group that can be used to determine focus of power and balance. Here’s what the eight gua mean:

There is some speculation that the eight gua categories represents one or a couple of each of the main survivors, but that’s a bit far-fetched at this point. Still, it’s an intriguing thought.

What all this means in relation to who Desmond is, why he’s down in the hatch, and what group this mysterious logo represents is anyone’s guess at this point. Still, it’s pretty obvious that the way the insignia is used in the show, it denotes some sort of group or corporation that is responsible for the creation of the hatch, and, quite possibly, the “security system.” And whoever they are, they’re pretty deep into ancient asian religions and how they relate to balance in the universe.

2. Let’s talk a bit about the words “Quarantine” written on the hatch. First off, the words appear on the inside of the hatch. This means that they were meant only to be seen by Desmond. This could mean a couple of things: whoever built the hatch quarantined Desmond from the rest of the island because they believed there was a sickness out there, or the words are simply a subconcious reminder to Desmond that he is sick and can’t leave. Neither theory can really be proven or debunked at this point, as all the clues could point to either scenario. One such clue is the medicine Desmond injects at the beginning of the episode. It’s obvious he has a ton of it, and it is a prescription drug as denoted by the Rx-1 written on the bottle. The name of the drug? CR – 4-81516-23 42, our favorite numbers. Whether this is actually the name of the drug or a case number that corresponds to the “serial number” written on the outside of the hatch remains to be seen. If I were a betting man, I’d say that the drugs are some sort of psychotropic compound or mental regulator with effects of drugs such as Zoloft or Lithium. Basically, it regulates his mental state. The drug could also be a cocktail of crazy drugs, vitamins, life-sustaining compounds and/or viral and bacterial innoculations. I doubt that, though. More than likely the drug is for a singular purpose.

The strongest indicators for the “island quarantine” theory are two things: first, the presence of the Others and what happened to Rousseau’s crew, and second, the security system. First, Rousseau said that her crew was slowly driven insane until she had no choice but to kill them. What drove them insane has yet to be discovered, but it could have something to do with the effects of the island. It’s clear that it’s a nexus of paranormal activity and perhaps that led to the madness that consumed them. I believe that the island was being researched for one purpose or another by this Dharma group and something went wrong. The quarantine was put in place to keep it clear of interlopers who would learn about or harness the energies of the island. The “security system” was put in place to keep people at bay. Or, possibly, it could be the result of an experiment gone wrong, twisted by the island’s energy. Whatever the case, it’s clear that no one is supposed to be on the island, as evidenced by The Others hardly setting foot there. On the occasions where the Others have been mentioned or have shown up, they have always come from the sea. There have never been any footprints around locations where they’ve been and it has always been by the coast. We know that they have a boat because they kidnapped Walt with it, so perhaps they live on the sea or on a small jetty separate from the main island. This kind of outcropping can be seen in the finale when the raft heads out to sea.

3. The Wall. When Jack goes down the hatch shaft and starts poking around in the compound, he comes upon a crazy wall that has been painted with various things. It’s an intriguing mix of words, numbers and symbology. The wall has a face painted toward the top (hard to tell if it’s a man or woman at this point), hovering above the waves of a sea. Just below that is a large sun with the number “108″ painted in the middle. This number is the sum of 4 8 15 16 23 42. These numbers also appear in the painting, along with one other number – 106. It’s unclear right now what that number signifies, but it’s definitely not the focal number in the sun. Just right of the sun is a large arrow that points up and to the left of the face at the top. Scattered along this arrow and in various other spots are simplistic pictures of houses. To the far right there is a large eye and the words “I’M SICK.” Clearly if Desmond painted this he believes that he is the sick one. One point towards the “personal quarantine” theory. In regards to the eye, it’s obvious that Lost has many references to that – most of the show openings begin with the opening of an eye, Locke refers to seeing into the Eye of the Island and 108 added together equals 9, the numerical equivalent to the letter “I.” Intriguing. I don’t know what it all means just yet, but it’s crazy as hell.

4. Mirrors. Another theme that is explored throughout the series is with mirrors, or, more specifically, opposites. Now with the addition of the ba-gua and yin yang, the concept of balance and opposition saturates the show. From the very beginning we had hints as to this theme: Locke explains backgammon to Walt by describing it as a battle between two forces, that of light and dark. Further along, we see the dichotomy of faith versus science as Locke and Jack knock heads. Most recently in the premiere, Shannon sees Walt who has a message for her. He moves and speaks backwards, saying, “Don’t push the button, the button is bad.” And now, the theme is taken even further with the addition of the Dharma logo and the presence of the multiple mirrors in the hatch complex. Every survivor is being forced to look upon themselves and their pasts and attempt to resolve those things. The Island itself has acted as a sort of mirror, forcing everyone to see themselves more clearly. To me, it all sort of comes together with the hatch. It’s very reminiscent of Through the Looking Glass. A world turned topsy-turvy, things out of place, a funhouse of strange characters and smoke and mirrors. Locke is like the white rabbit, frantic to get to his destiny, and he’s leading everyone down down down into the rabbit hole. Too bad Desmond doesn’t wear a mad hat.

5. Mama Cass.

Nobody can tell ya
There’s only one song worth singing
They may try and sell ya
Cause it hangs them up
To see someone like you

You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along

It can’t be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be
Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do

You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along

And if you will not take my hand
Then I must be going, I’ll understand

The first seasonal intermezzo – and it was only the week between the first and second episodes!
(Article published on Sept. 24, 2005)

This little adventure with numbers was inspired by this quote from Damon Lindelof:

“The only number was always sort of a key number was 23, and anybody who knows anything about Robert Anton Wilson or any of his writing can read into that what they will. That’s an important number in terms of the scheme of the show.”

Now, hearing Lindelof speak the holy name of Mr. Wilson made my ears perk. The number 23 has always been special to me … I use it all the time, and see it pop up everywhere. It all started with The Illuminatus! Trilogy that Robert wrote with Robert Shea back in the day. It’s a mindfuck of epic proportions that really changes the way you think about the world and the secret organizations that really run things. It’s loopy, parts of it are sheer parody, but there are certain sections of the book that will make your head feel as though it’s three sizes too small to contain the thoughts it generates. I don’t have time to go into all of it in this post, but rest assured that I will return soon to fill your Lost-addled minds with thoughts of the law of fives, the I-Ching, the Discordians, Adam Weishaupt and 23 skidoo.

For now, however, I simply present you with an exercise in sequential numerology. But first, a quote from Mr. Wilson on the mysterious number 23:

“There is nothing special about it, if you are not aware of it. However, once you know, you will see it everywhere. And now, you know.”

Let’s take the magic numbers and see what fun we can have with them:
4 8 15 16 23 42

Now, first off, we all know by now that all the numbers added together equal 108. Also, 1, 0 and 8 added together equals 9. As Liz has mentioned, the number 9 corresponds to the letter “I” in our alphabet. It’s a neat fact, but we won’t delve into that with this lesson.

Assuming that, in sequential numerology, a zero is insignificant, let’s take a look at some things.

First, let’s add the even sets together.
4+8=12, 15+16=31, 23+42=65

Then add those paired integers together …
1+2=3, 3+1=4, 6+5=11

Finally, let’s add the result triplet.
3+4+11=18

Now, we all know that
1+8=9

Cool, huh? Wait, it gets better.

Let’s add the first two sets together, but this time, since 23 is a power number (I’ll explain that later in another post with the law of fives) we don’t add 23 with another pair. So …
4+8=12, 15+16=31, 23, 42

Then …
1+2=3, 3+1=4, 2+3=5, 4+2=6

We now have a sequential set.
3, 4, 5, 6

Of course, add them all together and you get 18 again. Add them once more, you get 9.

Now, let’s take that sequential set one step further and add them out of order.
3+6=9, 4+5=9

Two sets of nines. Getting funky, isn’t it?

Finally, let’s add the sequential set in another order.
4+6=10, 3+5=8

Put ‘em together, what d’ya get?
108

Getting the picture?

And now, you know. Happy hunting.

Analysis for Season Two, Episode Two – “Adrift”
(Article published on Sept. 29, 2005)

Today’s Lost thoughts will go all over the board, but that’s the beauty of the show – so many clues, such imagination, so little time. So, bear with me and I’ll try to keep my ruminations and revelations to a manageable length.

THE SHARK

Check out this primitive screencapping! Ah, the good old days, when we had to chisel the image on stone tablets.

By now, all of you have probably seen that the shark had a variation of the DHARMA logo that appears all over Desmond’s bunker. I say variation because the two are definitely not the same. Look at the comparison:

The image at left is in the hatch compound. The image at right is an approximation of what appears on the shark’s tail. It’s difficult to make out all the details from the screen caps I’ve seen so far, but two things are definitely obvious: the swan and word DHARMA are no longer there, and the Ba-Gua is rotated counterclockwise one “notch.”

What the difference means in the long run is anyone’s guess, but the orientation of the Ba-Gua is telling. According to the principles of Feng Shui, the orientation has to do with the balance of things in regards to how you want the flow of energy in a room or environment. I think that could apply here, but a more plausible idea, to me at least, is that the Ba-Gua is simply a way for the “organization” to classify things according to duty/function. It could also be a way to organize and mark different projects. The hatch “project” could be a separate entity from the project that was utilizing the shark. The sole unifying symbology that ties the projects together within the same organization is the base Ba-Gua.

Damn I wish I could find a picture of Jin’s watch.

THE HATCH
Quite a few revelations from last night’s hatch sequences. Here’s what we can glean so far:

• The DHARMA logo that I recreated from last week is absolutely correct. We see it super-clear when Locke investigates one of the markings as he’s entering. It also appears on just about everything in the supply room where Kate was being held. It’s undeniable that whatever Desmond’s mixed up in, it involves a large group or organization with huge monetary resources.

• The password for the computer is the sequence of our favorite numbers. They are used to reset a counter that’s counting down from 108, probably 108 hours. This is essentially a “dead man’s switch,” a failsafe protocol used during the Cold War in nuclear facilities and other military operations. Basically, a compound was manned by two (and, sometimes more) individuals whose duty was to reset a timer every few hours to prevent the launch of missiles. The concept is that if anything happened to the country where the compound has housed and it managed to kill off a large majority of the populace, including the crew, the timer would never be reset and would trigger a launch. It’s also been applied to self-destruct mechanisms in military operations, as well. Just like in a missile silo, a crew is set in a compound to protect it. They reset a timer every few hours to prevent detonation of self-destruct devices. If the compound was ever taken over by hostile forces, only the crew knew the password or secret switch to prevent the detonation. When the hostile forces couldn’t stop the countdown – boom. Exactly what Desmond’s preventing, I’m not sure. Honestly, I think the dead man’s switch may do nothing. It’s all a research project.
• Those shoes are Locke’s. I believe he takes them off after seeing the DHARMA logo. I need to rewatch to make sure, but that would be interesting, especially in relation to the ba-gua and eastern traditions.
• Desmond’s expecting someone, possibly a replacement or someone from a survival team.
• Desmond believes that the world has suffered some catastrophic event, as he asks Locke “Is the world still there?” while questioning him. He also asks Locke about the sickness, wondering which people in his group have exhibited symptoms. Desmond’s confirmation of a sickness on the island reinforces Danielle’s story of what happened to her crew. Did Desmond and Danielle’s cohorts succumb to the same illness? Or are they the ones that are infected and have been left on the island for either quarantine or for study?
• Although this is something we all pretty much knew, the hatch has probably been there for over 20 years since Locke says he hasn’t seen one of those computers “in over 20 years.” Desmond, however, couldn’t possibly have been down there for that long.
• Raise your hand if you think Desmond and Jack have more of a past than just running into each other at a stadium.

THE CANDY BAR
When Kate’s in the supply room, she stumbles on a batch of candy bars. The name on the wrapper says “Apollo.” There are several wild theories flying around the web right now as to exactly what that means. Personally, before I even saw any of the theories, I thought it was interesting that it referenced the god Apollo, who is the ruler of the sun. Last week, on the mural, we had the prominent sun depicted, with the 108 in the center. We even have character named Sun.

Although it’s fascinating to dig deep into the mystery of the island, and I do believe the writers, directors and set artists have a ball hiding little details, sometimes a candy bar is just a candy bar.

I do believe, however, that Kate shouldn’t have eaten any of the food. It could be laced with who knows what. But that is a discussion for another time.

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By the way, What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

“I smell carrots.”

Analysis for Season Two, Episode Three – “Orientation”
(Article published on Oct. 6, 2005)

Well, folks, it’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for my weekly ramblings on last night’s episode of Lost. I feel a bit ill-prepared this go-around, as I only watched the episode once. That’s okay, though, as I always have more fun coming up with ideas and theories from the dark recesses of my own mind.

THINGS WE THOUGHT WE KNEW THAT NOW WE REALLY KNOW. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
1) The design of the DHARMA logo we speculated two weeks ago is correct, except that the R is not reversed.

2) The timeline of when Desmond arrived on the island was about three years ago. Most of us agreed that it had to be around two to three years. Everyone who’s been harping that he came to the island with Rousseau just needs to shut the hell up.

3) The Dharma Initiative was a scientific consortium dedicated to studying the island’s effects. I’ll go into more detail about this later on.

4) Sarah and Jack did get married, but obviously something happened to break them up. More about this later.

5) By the end of the season, Sayid will have constructed an inter-island communications system using only coconuts.

THE DHARMA INITIATIVE
Well, what can I say about that little orientation film other than HOLY CRAP. Almost all of our questions were answered, but, as usual, a million more were raised. Basically what we learned is that the DHARMA Initiative was begun back in the early seventies and funded by the Hanso Foundation, an organization created by Alvar Hanso, a former weapons munitioner-turned-philanthropist. The DHARMA Initiative was created to study six scientific areas that exist on the fringe, the third one – Electromagnetic Research Initiative – being the station that includes the hatch. The six projects likely began around 1980 as that is the copyright date on the film, although the Initiative actually began earlier, but fell prey to an unnamed “incident” early in its inception.

At one point during the film, the presenter mentions the works of B.F. Skinner, which is very telling of the motivations behind the Hanso Foundation and the DHARMA Initiative. Skinner was a psychologist who pioneered many revolutionary and controversial psychological theories and experiment, most notably those of operant conditioning, which involved the study of positive and negative reinforcements. Another particular area of study that might relate to the island and its occupants is superstition.

The following is an article excerpt which describes Skinner’s research on superstition among pigeons and humans:

Skinner placed a series of hungry pigeons in a cage attached to an automatic mechanism that delivered food to the pigeon ‘at regular intervals with no reference whatsoever to the bird’s behaviour.’ Whatever chance actions each bird had been performing as food was delivered was strengthened, so the bird continued to perform the same actions:

“One bird was conditioned to turn anti-clockwise about the cage, making two or three turns between reinforcements. Another repeatedly thrust its head into one of the upper corners of the cage. A third developed a ‘tossing’ response, as if placing its head beneath an invisible bar and lifting it repeatedly. Two birds developed a pendulum motion of the head and body, in which the head was extended forward and swung from right to left with a sharp movement followed by a somewhat slower return.”

The experiment might be said to demonstrate a sort of superstition. The bird behaves as if there were a causal relation between its behaviour and the presentation of food, although such a relation is lacking. There are many analogies in human behaviour. Rituals for changing one’s luck at cards are good examples. A few accidental connections between a ritual and favourable consequences suffice to set up and maintain the behaviour in spite of many non-reinforced instances. The bowler who has released a ball down the alley but continues to behave as if he were controlling it by twisting and turning his arm and shoulder is another case in point. These behaviours have, of course, no real effect upon one’s luck or upon a ball half way down an alley, just as in the present case the food would appear as often if the pigeon did nothing – or, more strictly speaking, did something else.

If you made it through all that, congratulations. You get the grand prize … I’m going to tell you about something else Skinner pioneered that’s gonna blow your mind: The Skinner Box.

Remember when Lenny was screaming “You opened the box!” to Hurley when he was visiting the nut hatch? Well, let me tell you about a Skinner box. The box is an operant conditioning chamber that can accommodate an animal. Conditioning chambers have at least one operandum that can automatically detect the occurrence of a behavioral response or action. Typical operanda for monkeys and rats are “response levers”; if the subject presses the lever, the opposite end moves and closes a switch that is monitored by a computer or other programmed device. Typical operanda for pigeons and other birds are “response keys” with a switch that closes if the bird pecks at the key with sufficient force. The other minimal requirement of a conditioning chamber is that it have a means of delivering a primary reinforcer or unconditioned stimulus like food or water.

With such a simple configuration, one operandum and one feeder, it is possible to investigate uncountable psychological phenomena. Modern conditioning chambers typically have many operanda, like many response levers, two or more feeders and a variety of devices capable of generating stimuli (lights, sounds, chords, figures, drawings, etc.) in the chamber … kinda like a timer that counts backwards from 108.

Intriguing, eh? Is the hatch and, more importantly, the entire island just one big psychological experiment? Or is the Hanso Foundation really seeking out fringe scientific realms? I have a feeling it’s probably both. After all, it’s a big island, and the presenter in the orientation film did say that there were five other stations.

THE THIRD POLICEMAN
For weeks now, the writers and producers have leaked to the media and public word that a new literary reference was going to pop up in the show. This book, The Third Policeman, would only show up for a second, but for diehard fans it could mean another literary link to clues they need to decipher what’s going on with the island. Well, after seeing last night’s episode, I’m convinced that The Third Policeman is a red herring – a subtle in-joke by the writers and producers, having some fun with the rabid fans. The story is basically a surreal comedic trip into a strange world filled with conspiracy, chaos, philosophy and several wild goose chases. Effectively, the book is a scattered collection of ideas and wild theories, all put together and narrated by a dead man. It’s an interesting read, but it seems to me that it reflects more on the fans than the show. I mean, we’re all the ones sitting around, piecing together wild-eyed theories about what’s going on with the island, and the people behind the show love it. I also believe that Locke’s wild-eyed statement of “We’re gonna need to watch that again” after watching the orientation film was a hilarious jab at all of us that watch the episodes over and over looking for clues. I can only imagine that half the viewers would have said the same thing Locke said afterwards because they all knew they were gonna have to watch it again. It’s a brilliant bit of writing.

So, in my opinion, The Third Policeman is a wild goose chase, but an interesting read nonetheless. If I was a betting man, I’d put my money on Turn of the Screw by Henry James, instead. It’s the book that the orientation film is hidden behind, and I imagine that its contents will play a larger part in the whole of the rest of the season. For those who’ve never read it, it’s a ghost story, filled with people who believe easily in what they are seeing, and those that are torn between what they see and what they believe. Its overall theme has already been carried through with Jack, seeing his father and not wanting to believe, and I have a feeling that somewhere this season, a certain deceased survivor is going to start showing up to haunt Locke.

But that’s just my opinion.

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That about wraps it up for this extra bit of fluff, but before I go I just want to thank all of you out there who have written emails or left comments over the past two seasons saying how much you enjoy Down the Hatch and all the work that goes into it. That really means the world to me, and it makes the 17 sleepless Wednesday and Thursday nights in a season all worthwhile.

If any of you would like to see additional features over Lost‘s hiatus, drop me a line and let me know. Or, better yet, leave a comment on this or another Down the Hatch. That way your mail won’t get lost amongst the spam. I can only eat so many cans, so fast.

Until next time, keep thinking those thoughts, and if you have an epiphany, tell me something good.

Namaste.

Chris Kirkman is a graphic designer/photographer/journalist/geek extraordinaire with way too many Bruce Campbell movies in his library. Michael Emerson, Lost’s Benjamin Linus, called Kirkman’s recaps “one of the smartest articles I’ve ever read about what goes on on our show.” Kirkman is still hoping that Lost will end when Bob Newhart wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette, complaining of a strange, strange dream. You can contact him at ckirkman@hobotrashcan.com.

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Chris Kirkman

“The Incident” Recap and Analysis …

Previously, on Lost: Before he dies at the hands of his own mother in the past, Dan sets in motion a plan to change the course of the future by using a hydrogen bomb to blow the crap out of a hole in the ground that houses massive electromagnetic energy. That sounds even crazier when you read it out loud. People, we’ve come a long way since the days when we got all excited because there was a single man at the bottom of the Hatch.

This week, on Lost: We open on the eye … of a spinning wheel. A lone man with handmade clothes and sandals sits at the loom, inside a stone room, creating what we soon discover is a tapestry, decorated with the Eye of Horus and some notations in Greek. We cut to the weaver outside, on a beach, where he wades into the water and fetches a conical fish trap. A solitary fish is caught inside. Our mystery man takes the fish to a heated rock, where he prepares it for his lunch. He sits against a log to eat, and stares out into the open ocean where a large sailing vessel approaches on the horizon. The man, as we shall soon find out, is Jacob.

A man, dressed in black, approaches and the two greet each other. Jacob offers him food, but he passes saying that he just ate. The man in black, let’s call him Esau for now, sits down and the two discuss the ship that is approaching. Esau knows that it was Jacob that allowed the ship to find the Island, and he speaks his mind. Esau tells Jacob that it will always end the same, with people bringing fighting, destruction and corruption. Jacob tells Esau that it doesn’t end, that there is only one ending and that everything before that ending is simply progress. Esau squares his jaw and looks at Jacob. “You have any idea how badly I want to kill you? One of these days, sooner or later, I’m going to find a loophole, my friend.”

Jacob looks back, calmly, “Well when you do, I’ll be right here.”

They say their goodbyes, and Esau stands and walks down the beach. We pan slowly back, past the two age-old adversaries, and a large foot is revealed followed by the rest of the Statue; its head seemingly that of a crocodile.

Cue the swirling Lost!

This first scene is not the last we’ve seen of Jacob in the finale; our mysterious man in white with ambiguous motives pops up in various flashbacks, having over the years helped to steer the lives and fates of many who came to the Island. Let’s recount those here, for ease of reading and to aid in my sanity in keeping this recap from dissolving into chaos.

A very young Kate and her future dead boyfriend, Tom, hatch a plan to steal the New Kids on the Block lunchbox that will later house their notes and Tom’s coveted toy plane. While Tom is on lookout, Kate puts the lunchbox in her backpack. On the way out, they are stopped by the shopkeeper and he says that he is going to call the police. A man offers to buy the lunchbox to keep the two out of trouble; that man is, of course, Jacob. He leans down and asks Kate if she is ever going to steal again, to which she shakes her head. We know, of course, that this is a lie, as she is always trying to steal the man that belongs to somebody else while on the Island. Jacob BOOPS her nose with the tip of his finger.

Oh, Kate … you’ve been wanting what’s not yours for so very long.

It’s the day of the funeral for the parents of James “Sawyer” Ford. He sits on the church steps and begins to craft his “Dear Mr. Sawyer I will kill you by strangling you with chains” letter. His pen runs dry, but a man approaches and offers him another pen. It’s Jacob, and he says that he’s sorry about James’s parents. When he leaves, one of James’s relatives – probably his uncle – asks to see what he’s writing. James hands over the letter. His uncle tells James that he should forget about vengeance and move on with his life, saying that “what’s done is done.”

It’s a sunny day in LA and Sayid and Nadia are walking along, talking about how to spend their anniversary. Nadia has misplaced her sunglasses, and starts poking around in her purse, trying to locate them. They begin to cross the street, but Sayid is stopped by a man asking for directions. That man is Jacob. As Sayid provides directions, Nadia has found her sunglasses and turns to tell Sayid. Unfortunately, they do not have streets in Iraq and so Nadia does not know that most drivers, especially those in the US, will not hesitate to run down beautiful women who stand in the crosswalk. Something very gruesome happens. Sayid runs to her and she asks him to take her home before she passes away, holding his hand.

In what seems like a military hospital, a woman with several layers of face bandages lies in bed. it’s Ilana. Her nurse tells her that she has a visitor. The visitor is Jacob. He tells her that he is sorry for not visiting sooner. He takes her hand and asks her, in Russian, if she will help him. With teary eyes, she agrees.

Outside a building on a sunny day, Jacob is sitting on a park bench reading a book of short stories by Flannery O’Connor. Behind him, a man falls to the ground with a thud. Jacob calmly gets up and walks over to find John Locke, after he has been pushed out the window by his loving and doting father, Anthony – also known as Tom Sawyer. Locke appears either comatose or dead, but when Jacob reaches down and touches Locke, he wakes up. Jacob says that he is sorry that this has happened to him. Sorry doesn’t cut it, mister – Locke’s going to be eating a big ol’ dirt sandwich after suffering like hell for a lot longer because of you.

In Korea, Sun and Jin exchange vows at their wedding. In the receiving line, Jacob approaches them both and tells them, in Korean, to always cherish each other and never let go.

Jack is in surgery – the same surgery he tells Kate about in the very first episode, in which he rips open a girl’s dural sac and must fix it. Of course, Jack didn’t tell the whole truth, and it’s actually his father, Christian, who must calm Jack down and teach him the “count to 5″ method. Later, out of surgery, Jack berates his father for making him look like a jackass in the OR. We’re pretty sure Jack has always made himself look like a jackass – he doesn’t need any help. Anyway, Christian says that it’s not him that doesn’t believe in Jack. Just before his confrontation, Jack had been trying to get an Apollo candy bar from a vending machine. As his father walks off, Jacob walks up with the candy bar in his hand and offers it to Jack. Jack takes the candy, along with a short touch from Jacob’s hand, and Jacob says that all it probably needed was a little push. As an aside, that might be one of the best moments of writing this season.

Hurley is being released from prison after he has confessed to three murders which he didn’t commit. As he leaves prison and attempts to enter a cab, he discovers a man already in the car. It’s Jacob, and he has a guitar case. Jacob asks Hurley if he wants to share a ride, and Hurley agrees. A little bit down the road, Jacob asks Hurley why he won’t go back to the Island, so Hurley assumes that Jacob is dead. Jacob assures him that he’s very much alive. Hurley tells Jacob that he can’t go back to the Island because he’s cursed, and everyone around him he cares about seems to die. Jacob tells Hurley that he should really feel as though he’s blessed, because Hugo can still see his loved ones, even after death. Jacob then tells Hurley everything he needs in order to get him on Ajira Flight 316 and exits the cab. He leaves the guitar in Hurley’s care.

Now, with Jacob’s instances of life guidance out of the way, let’s start counting down the events leading up to the toughest finale death(s) yet.

Back in 1977, Sawyer, Juliet and little Miss Demeanor are handcuffed in the Galaga, on their way back to the mainland and away from the Island. Kate explains how they need to get back to stop Jack from blowing the holy hell out of everything. Sawyer doesn’t care, but Juliet does, so she does what she does best besides look beautiful: kicks someone’s ass. They uncuff themselves and convince the captain, at gunpoint, to raise the sub so they can get off. He does.

Meanwhile, in the catacombs beneath Dharmaville, Jack, Sayid, Ellie and Richard are figuring out fun things to do with an H-bomb. Sayid has Daniel’s journal, which outlines in great detail how to dismantle the bomb and get at the explosive core. Of course it does.

Excerpts from: Care and Maintenance of Your 1956 U.S. Government-built Hydrogen Bomb. Chapter 1: No One Likes a Mr. Butterfingers!

Back in 2008, Locke has the Others on the move, and he ventures over to Ben to see how the ol’ murdering son of a gun is holding up. Turns out Ben’s just fine, and Locke finds out that Ben has been tasked with doing everything Locke says because Ben’s dead daughter, Alex, told him so or she’d kill him. Locke likes the sound of all that, and tells Ben that he’s going to be the one to kill Jacob when they get there. And why? Because, for all his service to the island, Ben was still treated like a red-headed stepchild.

Back in 1977, in Jughead’s lair, Sayid has removed the core and rigged the bomb so he can set it to detonate on impact. Jack asks Richard to guide them out of there, and they bust a whole in a masonry wall that leads into one of the Dharma bungalows. Ellie tries to lead them out, but Richard cracks her on the back of the head in order to protect her, and insists, at gunpoint, that Jack and Sayid go on without them. They scoot their heinies along rather quickly.

Once topside, the duo find a Dharma jumper for Sayid and just mosey out the front door. As they are attempting to escape the chaos that is ensuing at the Dharma camp, Roger recognizes Sayid as the man who kidnapped and subsequently shot his son. Sayid tries to warn Roger that there’s a thermonuclear device strapped to his back, but Roger doesn’t listen and shoots Sayid in the gut.

“Ow. Dammit, why does ‘don’t shoot, I’m carrying a thermonuclear device’ have to take so long to say …”

Jack turns from doctor to unlikely commando, and boom boom pows his way through several Dharma flunkies with guns. Grabbing Sayid, the two make a dash for it, but are soon overrun by Dharma dudes. Fearing the worst for our team (not really because it’s just Jack, after all), it looks like it could be doom for the dynamic duo … until Team Hispasian drives up in a Dharma van and rescues them. Jack throws Sayid into the van with a grin and they all zoom off into the jungle of mystery, and straight toward the Swan site.

Back at sea, Team Confidence has landed their raft on a corner of the Island they don’t recognize. What they do soon recognize is a familiar character running out of the jungle … Vincent!

Yay! Vincent! Good boy, that’s a good boy … it’s good to see one character that I still like that hasn’t been killed off yet … what a good dog. What … nice blonde hair blowing in the beach breeze, such a cute grin, with a lovely low-cut pink shirt … I’m sorry, what was I saying?

Team Confidence is soon joined by two more familiar faces: Rose and Bernard, who have been living out their retired existence in the jungle since all of them arrived with the last quantum leap. Sawyer asks them why they never joined up with them and the Dharma Initiative, and Rose tells them it’s because they had everything they needed and were done with all the drama. Kate tells them that the team is on the way to stop Jack because he’s got a bomb and the Island’s in peril … to which Rose responds: “It’s always something with you people.” Oh, Rose. Classic. Finally, Team Confidence asks the way to Dharmaville and Rose points the way, but not before she tells them that all that really matters is holding onto each other and then Sawyer looks longingly over at Scrunchy Face and Juliet sees him, and the whole house of cards comes crashing down. The team turns and leaves, and Juliet quietly falls in line in the back, resigned to her fate of losing the man she loves … to some flip-flopping floozy.

Back in the Dharma bus to Crazy Town, Sayid is bleeding from the gut like a faucet in The Shining and Jack is yelling about all manner of crazy shit, like the bomb he has in a pack in the back.

“Name’s Ash. Housewares.” This episode directed by Sam Raimi.

Soon, Hurley has to stop the bus because, in the middle of the road, is a group that’s almost as crazy as the bats in the back of his van – Team Confidence – and they’re well-armed.

They’re well-armed, and they’re all on their marks. Look at Kate’s left foot – hell, she’s standing on her mark.

Let’s not forget about Team Trust Jacob back in 2008 – they’ve made their way over to the main Island with Lapidus in custody, and Ilana and Bram have been going on about him being “the Candidate.” Frank hears all this and wonders what the hell is going on. They tell him that they’re the good guys, which he’s heard before and not liked the outcome from that encounter. They give him a peek inside Pandora’s Box, and he likes the contents of that even less. They set out across the Island and find Jacob’s cabin, the protective ash circle broken and the contents of the shack empty. Ilana finds a cloth note inside, and surmise that the cabin hasn’t been used in almost 30 years. They set fire to it, and set off to find Jacob at another location.

Meanwhile, Team Island has arrived at the old Oceanic survivors’ camp, abandoned for almost three years. They take a break, and Sun finds Aaron’s old baby crib, along with Charlie’s old Drive Shaft ring.

See? “You all everybody …”

After the break, Team Island make their way over to the remains of the statue and Locke decides that it’s just about time that Richard let him see Jacob, already.

Before we go on, there’s one final flashback that needs to be recapped here. A very young Juliet is sitting on a couch with her sister Rachel, listening to their parents discuss a divorce. Juliet is not happy. Her mother tells her that she and her father just aren’t meant to be together and sometimes love is not enough. She gets the line about how she’ll understand when she’s older. She doesn’t however, hear the part about how love can sometimes lead to fiery atomic death at the bottom of a hole after being dragged down by magnetic levitated chains. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Juliet storms off, and doesn’t want to hear any more.

Back in 1977, the Crazy Bus has parked, and Sawyer has asked Jack to step into the jungle for a little chat. They sit down and Sawyer’s all like what’s your deal bub and Jack’s all like I have a reason for being here and I’m gonna blow some shit up and Sawyer’s all like whatever, dude, what’s done is done and Jack’s all like shut your pie hole I wanna change things and Sawyer’s all like WTF? and Jack’s all like I like whores and Sawyer’s all like ohhhhhhhh yeah apparently me too but you can have her she’s right over there and Jack’s all like cool beans and Sawyer’s all like I’ll punch you in the face because you’re like Locke crazy. And he does. And they fight.

For a moment there it seemed like old times, until I remembered they weren’t fighting over a girl, they were fighting over a freakin’ atomic bomb.

Juliet finally breaks the silly boys up and tells Sawyer that he’s being a moron because of course they need to help Jack blow some shit up. Sawyer is understandably confused because Juliet has just activated the full-on 180° decision center in her female brain and changed her mind completely. Normally the realm of Kate, Juliet momentarily tapped into her estrogen reserves and turned the whole world on its head. At any rate, she tells Sawyer that it’s because she can’t have him and if she can’t have him then she wants to never have had him, because she can’t stand to lose him. Sawyer, of course, is all “whut?” like a dumb guy who’s been caught dreaming about the girl next door instead of his beautiful wife. He reluctantly agrees to help the woman that he loves with his rational side, and they set off toward the Dharma van to help.

Back at the Dharma van, Kate and Jack share a moment, reminiscing about episode one where she stitched him back up, and it’s kinda tender but whatever, I hate her because she’s about to be the cause of something that’s very, very unforgivable.

Jack grabs his thermonuclear backpack and sets off for the Swan, hoping to change the course of history and all of their destinies.

Meanwhile, in 2008, night has fallen at the Giant Foot and Locke is just about ready to see Jacob. He asks Richard to guide him and Ben into Jacob’s abode, but Richard hesitates. Richard says that that’s not how it works, to which Locke responds that he thinks they’re just making all this up as they go along. Nice little dig there to the doubting masses out in the TV crowd. Richard kinda just shrugs with his well-manicured eyebrows, pushes on a stone and opens a doorway into the base of the Foot. Locke asks Ben if he’s coming along, and they make their way inside. Locke asks Ben if he’s ready to do what’s needed, and hands him a knife. Ben hesitates, but eventually takes the blade.

Back in 1977, the remainder of Teams Boom Boom Pow, Hispasian and Confidence are all hanging out at the Dharma van when they see a Dharma Jeep tear-assing through a clearing on its way to the Swan. Realizing that Jack is about to be ambushed, they all jump back on the Crazy Bus and make their way over to the Swan site.

At the Swan, things are getting a little out of hand. Dr. Chang wants to shut everything down, but Radzinsky isn’t having it. They’re hitting the pocket of energy now, and Radz decides there’s no stopping progress at this point. Phil and his armed goons show up, just as Jack is making his way down to the site. Jack’s ninja training goes out the window as he’s soon spotted, and a mini-firefight ensues. It looks like Jack might be surrounded until the A-Team arrive in their powder blue van and open fire on the Dharma goons. The group manage to take down several of the Dharma folks and Sawyer maneuvers his way over to Phil to see if he can stop the whole thing.

It’s just like watching the A-Team, all over again. Only people actually got shot here.

Sawyer manages to wrangle Phil and convince the other Dharma crew members to drop their weapons. Dr. Chang tries to shut down the drill, but it has reached the electromagnetic pocket and there’s no stopping it now. Jack makes his way over to the edge of the drill pit with the innards from Jughead, and preps the bomb. He hovers over the edge for a moment before dropping the payload into the pit. Down, down, down it tumbles, and Juliet, Sawyer and the others grit their teeth and close their eyes, hoping they’ve done the right thing.

And then … nothing happens.

“Uhhhhhh, guys? We might have a problem here. Was I supposed to pull a pin or something? Is Sayid still conscious? Let’s ask him.”

And then … all hell breaks loose, and things will never be the same again.

The drill bursts into the EM pocket and everything metal around the dig site begins to be pulled toward the pit. A toolbox flies off a perch and knocks Jack out cold. A piece of the drilling tower collapses, trapping Dr. Chang’s hand, until Miles is able to free it. Radzinsky and his team try to escape in a Jeep, but it’s no use as it’s tipped over. Phil finds a gun and has Sawyer in his sights, until he is hit by debris and knocked to the ground. Several pieces of metal piping fly through the air, and one pierces the Juliet-abusing bastard right in the chest.

Sweet justice.

And then … the unthinkable happens. A length of chain swirls up in the grasp of the magnetic pulse and tangles around Juliet’s legs, dragging her helplessly over to the deep pit …

No, no no no … I knew it was coming, but I’m not ready …

Hang on, honey, please …

Sawyer! Sawyer has her!

Don’t you let go, you bastard … don’t you let go …

She’s saying she loves him … she’s saying goodbye … he’s losing his grip, no …

And then … Juliet is gone.

…

It’s 2008 again. The foot of the statue. I’m still numb as we see Team Trust Jacob make their way toward The Others. Guns are drawn. They ask to speak to Ricardus, and Richard steps forward. “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” she asks Richard. “Ille qui nos omnes servabit,” he replies. He who will save us all.

That’s good enough for Ilana, and they bring their big, shiny box over, opening the top and tipping its contents out into the sand. Richard moves around the box, and we see the slow reveal of what’s been inside all this time.

In an unprecedented one-two punch that has all of us reeling, it’s the body of John Locke, which means that Locke really is dead …

… and Ben is inside the base of the Foot with an imposter. The fake Locke, Focke if you will, and Ben head into the chamber, where Jacob is waiting. Jacob recognizes his old adversary despite the disguise, and mentions that it looks like he might have found that loophole. Jacob approaches Ben and tells him that no matter what he has been told by Focke, Ben still has a choice. Ben just rolls the word choice around in his head like a poison apple, until he asks Jacob why he was never treated very special. Ben lead for so long and as soon as Locke shows up, he’s lead up to Jacob like he was Moses. Ben just wants to know one thing: “What about me?”

Jacob looks Ben right in the eye and without an ounce of emotion or hesitation says: “What about you?”

Then Ben gets all stabby.

“… and I never got that pony when I was 11!!!”

Jacob falls to the ground, bleeding profusely and spitting blood, and in a final whisper tells Focke that “they’re coming.” Focke’s eyes get real big and he pushes Jacob’s body into the fire in the center of the room where he goes up like a cord of dry wood.

It’s 1977 one final time, and the Swan site is a picture of chaos. Metal is twisted everywhere and Jack is just coming to, in a daze, ears muffled, actions slowed. Kate pulls Sawyer off the wreckage of the drilling tower despite his furious protests.

We travel down, deep down into the pit now, past the crumpled remains of the drilling tower and the various tools and scrap pulled down by the electromagnetic pulse. Down here, amongst the twisted metallic remains, lies Juliet’s body, beaten and bloodied. In a more heartwrenching moment than when she first fell, we watch her eyes open and realize that she is broken … but she is alive.

The battered, but still painfully beautiful Juliet turns her head to see the H-bomb nestled in mud at the bottom of the pit. She pulls from her last remaining strength and rolls to her side, finding a rock and grasping it with all her might. With tears in her eyes and a soulful cry for everything to just be set right, she begins to bash the bomb …

After her eighth desperate hit, everything suddenly goes very white, and …

Cue the thonk!

This week’s drink recipe is a simple one, filled with emotion for a fallen femme, most fine. I lost my beloved Juliet to a horrific, fiery, atomic death in this finale, and I intend to offer up a final toast to her with my own recipe, and spend a moment of silence in remembrance. THE JULIET 2 oz. light rum 1.5 oz. Limoncello Ginger ale Teaspoon of sugar (or, preferably, a simple syrup) Lemon wedge Gently place the rum, Limoncello and sugar in a shaker, and cradle it like a lover. Passionately mix the liquids and strain over ice into a cocktail glass. Add the ginger ale for that spice that makes for one tough dish. Garnish with the lemon wedge, to remind us all of her blonde beauty. Enjoy. Responsibly. She may be tough, but she’s also classy.

Well, here we are. The end of another season of Lost. The end of another arc of sometimes-incomprehensible plot twists, character developments, insane plans and, quite often, credulity-straining storylines. This season also marks the end of the story, for now, of more beloved characters. For me, the toll for this season was particularly harsh, as two of my absolute favorite characters were revealed to reach their end within minutes of one another. I dealt with losing Boone and Shannon, Libby’s demise was particularly harsh, but we had only invested half of a season in getting to know her. Charlie’s sacrifice choked me up a bit, despite my total disinterest in his character, and Charlotte’s passing was all so matter-of-fact.

This time, though, with the passing of Juliet, they finally reached into my heart and pulled something out. I feel the same way about Locke, honestly; whether anyone realized it or not, these two characters – with the exception of Hurley – had become the true heart of the show. Both were passionate people who led rough lives and only sought acceptance and redemption. The cornerstone of their emotion and dedication anchored the series in a way that I can’t imagine will be replaced in the final season.

Hurley will pull his weight, I’m sure, but we’re left trying to care about Jack and Kate, two characters who have always been on a collision course toward their own self-interests. Sayid is practically dead, but since the death of Shannon and now Nadia, he has had nothing to live for and not much drive to do much with the life he does have. Sawyer, too, found his peace and his heart with Juliet; now, without her, he’s likely to drift on the wind as he did before. Thankfully we have Sun and Jin, and their possible reunion, as a deeply emotional foundation. And, hopefully, we will see Penny and Desmond play a large role in whatever unfolds next season.

So, did I ultimately enjoy the finale? Mostly. It was big and bold and filled with heavy themes much like the other finales. Unfortunately, unlike the other finales, we weren’t left with that emotional punch in the gut that can only come from character. Unless that bomb really did explode and reset things, Juliet’s really dead. So is Locke. All we’re left with right now is this eternal struggle between “gods”… not people. In the first three seasons, all we had was people. We knew that the story of the Island was going to be far greater than the sum of its parts, but as it stands after the finale, it seems as though the Island really doesn’t need much from its parts. If everyone involved is just a pawn in a struggle that has been going on for eons, why should we care? We’ve stuck with all this insanity, through thick and thin, because we care about what happens to the people we’ve come to know and love – or hate.

Sure, I hate Kate, but I do care what ultimately happens to Kate because she is a flawed human like all the rest of us. Do I really care that Jacob died in a fire in the finale? Absolutely not, because right now his struggle is not mine. This is the ultimate conundrum for the writers next season, and the fine tightrope they will have to walk in order to make all this work. How can they bring this huge, all-encompassing theme back down to the level of the individual characters involved in the story? After killing off what seems to be at least the strongest force for the Island up until this point, how will they cope with the loss of Locke? Was Jack just being groomed for the role and that’s why his attitude has changed so greatly over the season? I won’t buy that, and neither will many other fans. The writers have their work cut out for them, and I do not envy them.

However, I will say this: they deserve that hardship after holding so much back from us all season, just to reveal amazingly big secrets in the finale. It almost felt like I was watching the pilot for another show for a little bit there.

Now, all of that is said and done, let’s move onto some analysis, shall we?

WHAT LIES IN THE SHADOW OF THE STATUE?
We got our answer to this question from Richard – or should I say Ricardus? Obviously Richard has been around for a long, long time, probably longer than the Black Rock, since Richard’s name is a latin derivative, and so is the phrase. The answer to “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” is “He who will save us all.” That refers, of course, to Jacob. Unfortunately, Jacob just died in a fire, so he’s unlikely to be saving anyone, unless things change – which I completely expect to happen.

What’s interesting to note about Jacob and this finale is how much it parallels the smaller-scale finales involving other thematic locations that involve a single man. In the finale for season one, we saw the Oceanic survivors trying to figure out “What lies in the shadow of the hatch?” To which their answer was a single man, Desmond. He had a phrase, as well “What did one snowman say to the other snowman?” Silly, maybe, but intriguing, for certain.

The single-man theme was evident in the finale for second season, as well, as Desmond was tasked with having to sacrifice himself in order to save others. On a much larger scale, Jacob has had to do the same thing in this finale. Jacob is seen going about from time to time and person to person, advising them, pushing them in one clear direction – toward the Island. In a manner of thinking, Jacob is exercising the ability to alter the course of an individual’s history – set them on a path toward something larger than themselves, namely the Island. Dan has stated that Desmond also has that ability – that he is a variable in the equation of things and can change the course of history. Of course, Dan could have been wrong. We won’t really know for sure until we see if Desmond’s story is complete. One thing we will know for sure in January of next year: if the bomb worked, if it triggered another jump, if it reset things somehow. If that happens, then Daniel will have been right about everything, and the fact that Desmond is able to change things will be moot.

At any rate, before we look more closely at Jacob, we should revisit the statue for a moment. We all got a much clearer view of the side of the statue in the first moments of the finale, and it was very telling:

The shape of the head and the teeth rule out Horus and most other conventional gods with the heads of animals.

The most likely candidate for this statue is that of Sobek, an Egyptian god with the head of a crocodile. Sobek assumed many roles in the history of Egyptian mythology. Some believed that he was involved in the creation of the world, bringing forth life from the primeval waters, and creating the Nile. He has been known to be the protector of waters, and of others. Throughout the life of worship of the god Sobek, he has been associated most notably with the gods Horus, Set and Hathor, whom we’ve talked about extensively in past analyses for “LaFleur” and expanded upon in “A Little Intermezzo.” In those same analyses, I speculate that the statue could represent that of Tawaret, and the head of this statue could, possibly, be a reference to that god, as well.

However, all that said, I believe that the statue, no matter its true identity, is simply incidental as a marker for Egyptian mythology. The foot of the statue was made with four toes to heighten mystery and suspense until more could be explored – the fact that the powers that be had a four-toed statue at this point dictated that they gravitate toward a god that could be depicted with four toes. Both Sobek and Tawaret could be imagined, convincingly so, with four toes. The much more simple thing we should all take away from this is the reference to ancient religious mythology, particularly that of Horus and his uncle Set or Seth. I talk quite a bit about all of this in the analysis for “Dead is Dead” (and also a bit about Ol’ Smokey, Anubis and such), so you can go there to learn even more.

What I really want to stress right now is that it’s clear Jacob and his adversary, whomever he may be, have been locked in a struggle for an untold amount of time, and that Jacob cannot die by the hands of “Esau” alone. This struggle is indicative of the same mythical struggle throughout human history in different cultures and religions. We have the aforementioned battle between Horus and his uncle Set, the Norse myths of Thor and his trickster brother Loki, and the animosity between the biblical Jacob and his elder brother Esau, who sold his birthright to Jacob for a meal of lentils.

In far greater terms, theologically as well as thematically, we have the battle between light and dark, and the conversation that Jacob and Esau have about the destruction and corruption of man. It’s this same conversation that conjures up images of God and Lucifer; God, believing in the ultimate attainability of redemption for man, saying that any failed attempts is only progress toward an ultimate, grand end; Lucifer in his contempt for man, seeing only their destructive ends because of free will, and always plotting for the downfall of God so that he could seek God’s throne.

Ultimately, it is the sum of these myths that will contribute to the overall mythos of Lost and the Island. I don’t feel as though it’s worth trying to pin these characters down to an existing structure; I think that everyone involved with Lost wants to create their own brand of larger-than-life mythical characters, and the same templates that have been used throughout human experience are being used here to tell stories in the same fashion as those in thousands of years past.

YEAH, YEAH, WHAT ABOUT THE TAPESTRY
Oh yeah, the tapestry. Well, on the tapestry that Jacob created was some writing in Greek.

I’m not sure if you all can make out the characters, but the general translation comes to two phrases, that seem to be derivatives from select portions of Homer’s Odyssey:

• “May the gods grant you all that your heart desires”
• “May the gods give you happiness”

Now, what does all that mean? If Jacob and Esau are truly “gods,” then it means that Jacob might simply like the reminder that he is doing good by his people. If they do not consider themselves “gods” in the traditional sense, then it’s possible that Jacob believes and serves a higher power than himself. Of course, it could also mean that Jacob likes Homer and the loom.

IF HE’S NOT A GOD, THEN HOW CAN HE HEAL?
Did you all notice that Jacob touched every single one of the main characters he interacted with before they came to the Island? His “healing” touch is best seen, albeit in a subjective manner, when he is there to pick John up from his fall from the eighth floor. Locke appears to be comatose or dead at that point, until Jacob touches him and John rouses. If Jacob does have a healing touch, then why was John only partly healed and left paralyzed? This could have been part of the overall plan to bring them all to the Island to serve the purpose of light or dark.

THE SERPENT WILL DEVOUR HIS OWN TAIL
Speaking of serving a purpose and the struggle, before I forget I should mention something that struck me about Jacob and Esau’s conversation. In it it’s clear that Esau cannot dispatch Jacob by his own hands, that there must be a loophole. Loopholes exist only in constructs that exist as part of a circular system or outcome. There is no clear beginning or end in such a circle, and in order to assure an end to such a thing would involve the use of a flaw somewhere within the system – hence, a loophole.

We talked a bit last week, and back in the analysis for “Jughead” about Locke’s compass and how it seems to be locked in an infinite temporal loop. The same could be said for Jacob and Esau – if the two are locked together in such a loop on the Island, and neither can change the outcome for the other. The only way to ensure a final end is to bring in the “variables” that Dan was talking about – the people, those that can make choices that will ultimately force you and everything else out of the temporal loop. Esau sees the people that Jacob chooses as incapable of bringing about a different end, and the loop will continue, much as it has for millennia. Jacob, however, has faith that they can bring about the ultimate and final end, and that every successive loop before that is a step closer for that.

The ancient signifier for such a loop is the ages-old legend of the Ouroboros – the snake eating its own tail. This symbol has been used for thousands of years to signify the cyclical characteristics of life and nature. Mrs. Hawking wears a broach that carries a modified symbol of the ouroboros. It is most clearly seen in “Flashes Before Your Eyes” when she guides Desmond back from his temporal leap and explains to him the immutability of time and destiny. What I find fascinating about her Ouroboros, however, is that the snake or dragon is actually not biting its own tail. It still signifies a circle or loop, but this particular temporal loop has a twist and a possible route for escape.

And, altogether now, just like the ouroboros itself, what key element ties together the potentialities of this particular thought and that of my discussion of the finale parallels above? That’s right – Desmond. Our ultimate variable.

Whew, I think that about does it. As usual, there are many more questions we can speculate about: Did the bomb really go off, or was the white light part of the electromagnetic pulse that Dan mentioned? Did it propel the survivors back to the future, hence Jacob saying “they’re coming?” What about Adam and Eve and the black and white stones from season one? All good questions, worthy of discussion. For now, I’m weary from an intense season and still reeling from the death of my beloved Juliet, so I’ll leave some questions unexplored. However, it’s quite a long haul between now and next January, and I’m sure many of you will be re-watching the DVDs, or even exploring some seasons for the first time. If you hit on something intriguing, drop me a line, and I might even make a few off-season “intermezzos” to address some popular topics.

As always, keep thinking those thoughts and if any of you hit upon an epiphany, write and tell me something good.

Namaste.

Chris Kirkman is a graphic designer/photographer/journalist/geek extraordinaire with way too many Bruce Campbell movies in his library. Michael Emerson, Lost’s Benjamin Linus, called Kirkman’s recaps “one of the smartest articles I’ve ever read about what goes on on our show.” Kirkman is still hoping that Lost will end when Bob Newhart wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette, complaining of a strange, strange dream. You can contact him at ckirkman@hobotrashcan.com.

Similar Posts:

• Lost: Down the Hatch – Let’s get ready to rumble
• Lost: Down the Hatch – The summer of ’77
• Lost: Down the Hatch – A little intermezzo
• Lost: Down the Hatch – The Other Woman
• Lost: Down the Hatch – The Long Goodbye

Chris Kirkman

“Follow the Leader” Recap and Analysis …

Previously, on Lost: Ben whacked Locke, but Locke fooled Ben, and later told Sun that he could find Jin. Daniel told Jack of some temporal slack, and, with Kate looking on, said he’d get their lives back. All it required, he said with aplomb, was some faith and some time and a hydrogen bomb. So Dan threatened old Richard, his thoughts not the clearest, and was soon dropped with a boom by his blonde mommy dearest. A little bit of blood, then down with a whup, except for details that’ll catch us all up.

Athankyou.

This week, on Lost: Kate is a whore.

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. First things first: Dan is dead. Really dead. Off the twig. Kicked the bucket. Shuffled of his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible. He is an ex-physicist.

You’ve got to watch those blondes every minute, buddy.

While all that’s been going down, Jack and Kate are in the bushes watching, which means they’re totally safe and all and … who am I kidding? Kate’s in the bushes, which means she’s gonna get kidnapped, again, and Jack is going to get bitch slapped. What do you know, that’s exactly what happens.

One of the bitch slappers is ol’ Chuck Widmore, and he takes ‘em into camp where Ellie is leaning over the body of her dead son, reading his diary like a cheeky monkey. She’s bumfoozled over the dedication at the front of the journal, probably because she recognizes her own handwriting. Ellie asks if Jack and Kate were with Dan, to which they quickly reply in the affirmative so as not to be shot in the face. They’re taken to Eloise’s tent, and she tells Chuck that the two and a half of them are most definitely not from the Dharma Initiative.

Meanwhile, back in 2008, Richard spends his free time at his royal tent, building ships in bottles.

Two bucks says that’s the Black Rock in there. The actual ship – you see, to top this season, next season is going to involve a shrink/growth ray, and all the survivors will travel into microspace … First episode: “Honey, I Shrunk John Locke.”

Richard is soon interrupted by the message that Locke has come back, and he bears gifts: a boar, for the roasting. Before they can chow, though, Locke needs Richard to go on a little trip with him, and then take him to see Jacob, afterwards. In the meantime, Sun is talking to Ben, who informs her that Richard has been around for a very, very, very long time. That’s good enough for Sun, who runs over to Richard and asks about her husband, pointing to a picture of the Dharma class of ’77. Richard does remember those people – very well, in fact – because he watched all of them die.

1977. Inside Eloise’s tent, Kate starts to wonder if Jack has been guzzling the crazy juice, because he insists that they should carry out Dan’s plan and set right what once went wrong. Well, folks, we’ve officially jumped from Marty McFly to Sam Beckett.

“Heh … raspberries. Raspberries are good. Heh.”

They’re soon interrupted by Ellie, who asks them what the hell is going on. Jack says that she wouldn’t believe them. Ellie tells him that she just shot a man that she met 20-some years earlier that said he was from the future and now might be her son, so shut the hell up and just spill, already. Like, for instance, why her handwriting is in the journal when she doesn’t remember writing it in the first place. Jack explains that it’s because, technically, she hasn’t written it yet. Ellie gets the same look on her face that many of us have had over five seasons, like finding out there’s a dude in the hatch, and that dude can see the future, etc. etc. At this point, she’s putty in Jack’s hand, so he clarifies Dan’s plans and she agrees to take them to the bomb because it sounds like a smashing plan, not crazy at all …

Meanwhile, over in the security station in Dharmaville, Sawyer’s getting the sarcasm beat out of him by Radzinsky, whose been watching too many Chuck Norris movies. Oh, and they also want to know where Kate took little Ben, and this time, they have video proof of the existence of Bigfoot …

Told you.

Radz continues to treat Sawyer like a punching dummy, but James won’t budge. Phil steps in and says that he can get Jim to talk and then he proceeds to make me very, very angry.

You know you’re gonna die, right? In a fire? A big one? Bastard.

Outside of the security center, Hurley gathers up a ton of Dharma brand snacks and heads off into the jungle of mystery to meet Team Asian – Jin and Miles. Hugo is followed by Dr. Chang, who confronts the trio about them being from the future. Hurley says that dude, it’s ridiculous, so Chang questions him about his birthday, the Korean War and finally – the President of the United States. Hurley’s stumped and says, “All right dude, we’re from the future.” We laugh. Chang turns to Miles and asks about the whole son thing. Yup, Miles says, it’s true. There’s no hugging or anything, but I guess it’s good to know. Then Chang asks whether Faraday was full of shit or not about getting everyone off the island and Hurley says that Dan’s been right about everything so far, so he’d probably get off the Island if he could. That’s good enough for Dr. Chang.

Back at Camp Widmore, Chuck stares at Dan and wonders why he looks familiar. Ellie tells a couple of hostiles that they are coming with her, and get ready to head off toward the bomb. Chuck and Ellie get in a little tiff, seeing as how he doesn’t want her going off in her condition (so now we know why she had to leave the Island with Dan). Jack asks Richard about Chuck and finds out that he’s Widmore, and that, well, love is pretty complicated. And how, brother.

2008. Locke leads Richard and Ben to the old Beechcraft that fell down and killed Boone and eventually uncovered the Pearl. Locke proceeds to tell Richard that he has about three minutes to listen to him carefully because he’s going to have to go into the clearing, take a bullet out of a man’s leg and tell him that he’s gonna have to bring all his friends back to the Island. And to do that, he’s gonna have to die. A few seconds later, someone comes grunting out of the bushes. It’s John, of course.

“Wait, what?! You guys can’t do that. Don’t you understand time travel at all? You need to be reading this blog on HoboTrashcan.com …”

Just like back in the season premiere (“The Lie”) Richard patches up the booboo on the leg of Locke from Island’s Past and tells him that he’s got to get off the Island, and bring all his friends back, and he’s gonna die, and then later he’ll tell Richard where to find him, but first he’s got to hold onto this compass and give it to Richard the next time they meet, only Richard won’t recognize Locke then, and … whoa. Did you feel that? Yeah, that’s a potential temporal loop paradox letting out a little fart.

1977. Chang is down in the security center now, trying to convince Horace to get people off the Island. Radz isn’t buying it and wants to keep working on his baby Swan. Finally, Sawyer pipes up and tells them all that it’s true – they need to get off the Island – and he wants himself and Juliet on that sub. In order to get what he wants, though, he’s going to have to draw a map to the Hostile’s camp.

Further into the jungle of mystery, Jack, Ellie, Kate and some Island lackeys stand at a pool, which they will have to swim through in order to get to the caves beneath Dharmaville. Kate has decided that she’s had enough and tries to leave, but the Hostiles aren’t wanting any loose ends running back to Dharma, telling their secrets. They draw their guns on Kate. Of course, they do – it’s like she has a gun magnet in her pocket. Things get a bit heated, Jack tries to cool things down, which only heats things up and …

BLAM! “OMG I totally AM a whore, don’t shoot!”

Blam again! No Kate thud, though. Sadface. Sayid pops up from behind a few bushes like some Iraqi ninja and pops a cap in the Hostile lackeys’ asses. He makes sure not to shoot Eloise, though, because that’d just screw up the whole timeline LIKE THEY’RE TRYING TO DO ANYWAY.

Sayid wants to know what’s going on, and they tell him the plan and he’s all like, “We don’t need to do that because I shot Ben,” and Kate’s all, like, “Nuh uh, we saved him,” and he’s all, like, “What’d you do that for, bitch?” That’s about the point that Kate has decided she’s had enough of Sayid’s Iraqi ass and makes a beeline back to Dharmaville.

I don’t really have a caption, I just wanted to see Kate’s scrunchy face.

Meanwhile, by the sub dock, people are being evacuated. Team Hispasian spots Charlotte getting ready to head off the Island, and then sees Dr. Chang yell at his wife, so that she’ll get the point and get to safety. Down on the docks, Juliet and Sawyer are being escorted to the Galaga and Sawyer is talking about his plans to strike it rich when they finally get off the Island. “We’ll buy Microsoft,” he says. Dude, didn’t you know Forrest Gump bought Apple stock? Juliet boards the sub and Sawyer scans the Island one last time. And with a good riddance, he descends into the sub hatch.

Back at the pond, Ellie tells Jack to take a deep breath and follow Richard underwater to the chamber. He does, and swims along the pond, through a narrow tunnel and then into a large chamber with columns and hieroglyphs. Ellie is up next, and then Sayid pops up. Jack is surprised that Sayid is coming along. Well, of course Sayid has to come along – who the hell else is going to arm/disarm a hydrogen bomb?

2008. Locke, Richard and Ben return to the Others’ camp. Richard tells Locke that he’ll prepare a tent for him, but Locke really wants to see Jacob, like right now. Uh, okay, says Richard. But first, Locke addresses his new troops and tells them all that he would like them to come with him to see Jacob. After all, if they’re taking orders from a man they’ve never met, they really should get acquainted. This doesn’t sit too well with Richard and he says to Ben that Locke may be trouble. “Why do you think I tried to kill him,” says Ben, dryly. Oh, Ben.

1977. Down in the sub, Locke tells Juliet that when they get back to the real world, they’re as good as free. They don’t have to go to Ann Arbor or be part of Dharma anymore. Then Sawyer takes Juliet’s hand and looks her square in the eye and tells her that he’s got her back. “Love you,” says Juliet. “Love you, back,” replies Sawyer. Awwwww.

Sigh.

And then … the hatch darkens one last time, and a Dharma officer leads one lone figure down into the sub just before departure. Yup, the bitch is back.

Hoo boy. All they need down there is a couple of good switchblades and Juliet could get rid of her in an old-fashioned cuffed rumble.

The order is given to dive, the hatches are secured and the Galaga submerges and heads out to open sea with more contents under pressure than anyone bargained for.

Back in the chambers beneath the Island, Sayid, Jack, Richard and Ellie enter a large chamber with a shrouded object. Sayid asks Jack if he’s aware that Ellie probably just wants to bomb the bejeebers out of Dharma, to which Jack counters that he trusts her, mostly because in 30 years, she’s going to tell them all how to get back to the Island. Ellie then pulls the cover off the big elephant in the middle of the room. It’s Jughead, of course. “Now what?” asks Ellie. That’s what I’d like to know.

That’s a big Twinkie.

2008. It’s the beach at sunrise. Locke, Richard, Ben, Sun, and the bulk of the Others are walking along the shore, off to see Jacob in his little cabin in the woods. Ben walks along with Locke and promises John that he will help in any way he can to reunite Locke with his people. Locke grins his devilish grin and says that he’s not interested in being together again with his people.

“Then why are we going to Jacob?” asks Ben.

Locke continues to smirk a bit. “So I can kill him.”

“Dammit, John, I’m the one whose supposed to have the head-asploding last line.”

Cue the thonk!

Well, now, that certainly made up for last week, didn’t it? This finally felt like a proper Lost episode, and was one of the more intense of the finale lead-ins of all the seasons. Not much will top second season’s build-up with the death of Ana Lucia, the capture of Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley and the loss of faith by Locke and subsequent lack of button-pushing, but this season seems to be coming close. For the first time in a very long time, I really don’t know what’s going to happen. The writers have waffled on their preferred temporal theory so much, that it’s hard to predict if whatever happens, actually happens, or if they’re going to set us up the bomb and change the timeline forever.

Before I move onto some analysis, I’d like to address the Kate apologists in the crowd. I know that I’ve drawn some flack for what has sometimes been deemed “unfair treatment” of Miss Austen, and that she’s really not all that bad, she’s a mom now, trying to do the right thing, came from an abused past, blah blah blah. Yeah, okay, I will agree that what she’s trying to do on the Island right now is actually quite noble. She saved Ben from death (for better or worse) and now she’s against this whole bomb idea, which I will grudgingly admit I agree with. But through it all, no matter the nobility of her actions, she is still undeniably Kate Austen. I say that because I often replace the words “Kate Austen” with “total whore.”

My proof? I’ll give you proof. She runs off into the jungle of mystery with Jack because she thinks that Dan might be onto something, and then she gets all scared when Dan gets shot and Jack starts talking like Locke, so she runs back to Dharmaville, for what? One freaking thing, and you know what it is …

“Ohai! Oh, Juliet, didn’t see you there, sorry.” *sits* *brushes hair behind her ear* “So, uhhh, hey Sawyer” *giggle*

I rest my case. You can all drink a tall cup of STFU now. Awesome.

Let’s move on, shall we?

I’M MY OWN GRANDPA, PART DEUX
Way back toward the beginning of this season, in my analysis for “Jughead,” I talked a bit about the compass and the circular loop of ownership that occurred there. You can go back and read that, if you want, but I’m going to include that here because I think it’s important for a noodle-bending theory that I plan to cover shortly.

By now, you’re all familiar with the Novikov self-consistency principle that governs the temporal flow, since we’ve covered it ad nauseum. You all know it now as “whatever happened, happened” and it’s a way for everything to stay orderly amidst the chaos of time travel. Well, the compass presents an interesting twist on this principle. What’s happening with the compass definitely fits into the pattern of consistency:

1. Richard gives Locke the compass sometime in the past/present/future (or at least sometime during “The Lie.”
2. Locke, now back in the past before he was born, tells Richard about the compass and gives it to him. He also tells Richard that he is his leader and that he’ll be born in two years time.
3. Richard visits Locke when he’s five years old (we look at this more closely in my recap/analysis of “Cabin Fever” last season) and wants him to choose among six objects which of them are already his. Locke chooses the granules of sand and the compass that Locke, himself, provided for Richard in the past. Locke also claims the knife, which was not a wise choice. Richard immediately knows that Locke is either not ready or not the chosen leader, after all. He grabs the compass and leaves. Sometime in the future, after the White Event and all the jumping, Richard gives the compass to Locke (1), and the pattern starts anew.

This temporal pattern is indicative of the self-consistency principle. Locke needs a certain push at a young age to search out his purpose and eventually find the island. The push is provided by Richard Alpert, along with some items, one of which is a compass. Years later, Locke comes across the very same compass and is provided an opportunity to go back in time and share his story with Richard. Richard takes his information and the compass and sets out to see if Locke is who he says he is, and monitor Locke’s progress and possibly offer a push when needed. Thus, Locke becomes the man he needs to be to find the island and become the Other’s new leader. Self-fulfilling prophecy, if you will. Or, destiny, by another term that Locke might prefer.

That issue seems to be all wrapped up snug and cozy, doesn’t it? Well, not really. The next question that should be coming into all of your minds is – where did the compass come from? If Richard gave Locke the compass in the “future” and Locke brought it back with him to the “past” to give to Richard so that he could use it throughout Locke’s life and then give it back to Locke in the future so he could bring it back to the past … where does the compass originate? Herein lies one of the greatest paradoxes inherent in some self-consistency scenarios. One possible answer is that the compass has always existed in the same time loop. That’s a pretty deep concept to wrap your mind around, and it won’t help you sleep at night, believe me. Another answer is that this particular thread of time has been evolving with each successive loop.

That’s as far as I got with that particular analysis because it was late and it was making my brain hurt. But we can take it a step further now with what we’ve seen in this episode. Not only does Richard give Locke the compass, he also tells Locke what he must do when he gets off the Island. This was not some divine mandate from Jacob or anyone else, these instructions came from Locke himself. In that one instant, Locke set in motion his entire destiny, and the only reason he was able to do so was because he had already lived it. However, he couldn’t have lived it if his future self hadn’t sent Richard with instructions … is this baking your noodle yet?

As I mentioned before, one way to explain this is with temporal evolution. This hybrid theory combines parts of static timeline theory (whatever happened, happened) and mutable timeline theory (full details of both can be found in the analysis for “He’s Our You”). Essentially, one way to imagine this is that sometime in the past – and I use that term loosely and in a purely quantum manner – the survivors, or at least John Locke, came to the Island and traveled into the past. During that past, they managed to change something that effected an outcome in the future, which ultimately changed part of the past leading up to that point.

Let’s say, for instance, that Locke came to the Island and had a compass. He got into some temporal shenanigans, he managed to knock over a vase when it should have been a lamp, who knows. At any rate, sometime during that time traveling stint, he changed something that affected his past, but not necessarily the pieces or people around him. Let’s say that sometime during that stint, he became friends with Richard, and gave the compass to Richard. Now, Locke’s screwed around with the timeline so much at this point that neither static timeline theory nor mutable timeline theory can account for the changes, so a temporal loop is created: Locke still comes to the Island in the “future”, but under different circumstances. This time he has a couple of companions. In order to right the wrongs to the timeline, certain temporal anomalies have been allowed to exist: the compass being one of those things, as it ties two events together and sets the next temporal loop in a motion toward resolution.

One way to imagine this in a much more simplistic manner is that the Island was a lock before Locke got to it, and it was pretty much locked down tight, invisible to the world, with all its “tumblers” in place. Because of some temporal shenanigans, Locke (or someone else, who’s to say?) upset the tumblers, throwing the Island into temporal chaos, and effectively unlocking it for release of energies, etc. Now, in order to set things right, the Island or time or some outside force has set in motion a slightly overlapping temporal loop where something gets fixed each time the loop is created. The tumblers of the lock are slowly rotated back into position with each successive evolutionary loop, even though the improbability of justifying the concurrent actions (for instance, the “spontaneous” creation of the compass) might get out of hand. Once all the tumblers are put back into place, the loop will reach an end and the time traveling will cease. This could have all been caused by one action in the “past” and everyone that’s become involved with this “loop” of the Island has been pulled in, one by one, in order to play a successive, pivotal role in making right what once went wrong.

Did you get all that?

Another way to kinda think of it: Groundhog Day. Yeah, so there.

WAR, HUH, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
It’s time for a roll call! In previous seasons, the survivors are usually divided for some reason or another, most notably when Jack and Locke are doing the whole “Man of Science, Man of Faith” thing, but now everyone is split into SIX dadgum factions, as well as some interesting wild cards. How can we keep ‘em all straight? Don’t worry, I’ve got your cheat sheet for the finale right here:

Team Confidence

Sawyer, Juliet, Kate
This team is interesting because they’re not just going to be fighting against the other factions, they might also be trying to kill each other. The common thread: they all seem to want off the Island, particularly if an H-Bomb is going to go boom.
Advantage: Street smarts, spunk, good aim.
Disadvantage: Whore that always gets kidnapped when the spit hits the fan.

Team Hispasian

Hurley, Miles, Jin
Otherwise known as “Team Comic Relief.” I’m not entirely sure what their role might be, but I speculate a bit more on that in the section called “Let’s Meet in the Middle” down below. Go ahead, look, it’s all about Hurley, Miles and Jin.
Advantage: Probably not going to die, because funny never dies unless Joss Whedon is writing the episode.
Disadvantage: Often bumbling, only one good shot in the bunch, heavy sarcasm.

Team Boom Boom Pow

Jack, Sayid (Ellie & Richard – reserve members)
Not satisfied with shooting a young boy in the chest in order to muck about with the timeline, these temporal terrorists will not rest until they have detonated a hydrogen bomb. For added insanity, Jack is now talking like Locke! Clearly all the drugs and alcohol from off-island has rotted his brain.
Advantage: Crazier than shithouse rats, not much to live for, do not have Will.i.am on reserve team.
Disadvantage: Crazier than shithouse rats, not much to live for.

Team Trust Jacob

Ilana, Bram, Pandora’s Box
Do they truly serve Jacob, or are they remnants of Widmore’s old faction? Have they been called to the Island to save the leader on high from Locke and his new Island citizen army? What’s in the box, huh?
Advantage: Well-armed, fanatical, big scary box.
Disadvantage: Team made up entirely of second-tier characters, expendable.

Team Island

Locke, the Others
With every other faction jockeying for Mayors of Selfish Town, Locke and his new peoples seem to really want what’s best for the Island. And from what I’ve seen over the past five seasons, what the Island wants, the Island gets.
Advantage: The Island, Locke, Time.
Disadvantage: Led by the ultimate martyr.

Team Sun

Sun
Yup, it’s Sun against the world. All she wants is to get her husband back, get off that miserable island, and reunite with Ji Yeon.
Advantage: One tough mother, pretty cute.
Disadvantage: The cheese stands alone.

Wild Cards

Ben, Present Richard, Christian, Claire, Ol’ Smokey
I’m pretty sure that Richard and Ol’ Smokey are serving a purpose much older than that of all these other factions jockeying for position, but their allegiances are still a bit … hazy. Christian and Claire like hanging out at Jacob’s place, so maybe they’re tight with the old quantum phase shifter. Ben is … well, Ben. The ultimate wild card.

Notables, not present at this time
Desmond & Penny
We may not see them until next season, but I’m betting we haven’t seen the last of either.

This week’s episode-inspired drink recipe is in honor of one of the coolest features of the Dharma Initiative – their sub, the Galaga. The only thing that can make a secret, mysterious island cooler is having its very own submarine. Granted, the Galaga is no Nautilus, but I think that Jules Verne would be proud, nonetheless. THE SUBMARINE Just as there are thousands of sub designs that have been created over the years, there are also many ways to customize your traditional Submarine drink. Below is my favorite configuration, but feel free to substitute your favorite liquor and beer. Shot glass of Jagermeister Pint glass (1/2 to 3/4 full) Bitburger beer (If I want the opposite effect and something meatier, I’ll use Guinness or Boddingtons) Grab the shot glass, position it over the top of the pint glass and, when ready, let go and watch it dive, dive dive! Immediately grab the drink and submerge it in your belly. Come back up for air and repeat until seasick.

LET’S MEET IN THE MIDDLE
Okay, here’s the situation: In one time period, we’ve got Team Locke heading toward Jacob’s little cabin in the woods, so that Locke can kick his butt. So far, we know that Locke is one of two people on the Island that can see Jacob. The other, of course, is Hurley. Hurley not only can see and find Jacob’s cabin, but he’s also seen Jacob’s eye, clear as day. Team Hispasian is in the other time period, making plans to do who knows what at this point. They can’t escape the Island since the Galaga just took off into the great, wet blue, and their plan to head to the beach doesn’t really make much sense if a hydrogen bomb is going to go off. Without a clear leader like Dan to fill them in on temporal protocol, they’re sitting ducks.

However … since Hurley can see Jacob’s cabin, and Miles can “talk” to dead people, it is entirely possible that they could pool resources and seek refuge in the cabin. The cabin is very special – a possible temporal nexus – as we’ve seen it can jump about from place to place and, I’m guessing, time to time. If I were a betting man, I’d also guess that Jacob’s cabin could exist in multiple time periods at once. What that means for our two teams is that it’s entirely possible for both of them to reach Jacob’s cabin at the same moment in concurrent timelines and actually encounter each other. They could appear just like how Christian appears, or they could be revealed in temporal flashes, like when Jacob appeared to Locke the first time and we all wet our pants.

What’s going to go down if this scenario pans out? I haven’t the foggiest. Perhaps the energy released by “the Incident” will be enough to connect the two quantum phase states and return Team Hispasian to their proper time. Maybe they’ll all be jolted and transported to Jacob’s “real” time. I’m not sure, and it’s all just wild speculation. However, if I don’t see some variation of this in the finale, I’m going to jot this one down as one helluva missed opportunity to do something really, really cool.

AND ONE MORE THING ABOUT JUGHEAD
I don’t know for sure what the “incident” really is, or what’s going to happen – if an H-bomb really is going to go off, or if it’ll be a dud. But as I mentioned last week, an atomic bomb, once detonated, will release a massive electromagnetic pulse that could be interpreted as a magnetic burst, as predicted by Daniel.

However, there’s also a chance that something else might happen to Jughead. Remember the statue we’ve talked about all season? Remember that sometime in the past something cataclysmic obviously occurred, because all we have left is a four-toed foot? Well, an H-bomb is kinda cataclysmic. We’ve got time travel going on. Put the two together and wouldn’t it make sense if what lies in the shadow of the statue was Jughead? I dunno, just something to think about. We’ll find out in a week, anyway. Maybe.

AND ONE LAST DEPRESSING THING
There may be more things to talk about, but it’s late, and we’ll have plenty of questions to go over after the finale next week. Remember to keep thinking those good thoughts and if you have an epiphany, tell me something good. Until next time, I leave all of you with one last prediction that my gut feels pretty sure about, and which saddens me greatly.

I’m really going to miss you, beautiful.

Namaste.

Chris Kirkman is a graphic designer/photographer/journalist/geek extraordinaire with way too many Bruce Campbell movies in his library. Michael Emerson, Lost’s Benjamin Linus, called Kirkman’s recaps “one of the smartest articles I’ve ever read about what goes on on our show.” Kirkman is still hoping that Lost will end when Bob Newhart wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette, complaining of a strange, strange dream. You can contact him at ckirkman@hobotrashcan.com.

Similar Posts:

• Lost: Down the Hatch – The unbearable lightness of Ben
• Lost: Down the Hatch – And nary an Archie in sight
• Lost: Down the Hatch – The hard kill
• Lost: Down the Hatch – Jacob’s Ladder
• Lost: Down the Hatch – Let’s get ready to rumble

Chris Kirkman

“The Variable” Recap and Analysis …

Previously, on Last Cake Standing: Bronwen, Courtney, Mary and James had out-baked Elisa Strauss (no sock monkey for you, babe!) in the last surprise wedding cake elimination. Darn shame there, ’cause Elisa’s super cute. This time, the twist came about in teams – Bronwen and James (Team Smiley) were teamed up against Mary and Courtney (Team Emotion) in designing superhero cakes. Everyone was seeing green, as they all pulled eco-heroes out of their creative butts – all except for James, that is, whose Captain Beachtowel was the best of the bunch. His idea might have been the best, but it wasn’t Bronwen’s idea, so that meant that almost none of it got used. Queen bee much, missy?

Anywho, Team Emotion combined their ideas and crafted a well-sculpted, glow-in-the-dark homage to fireflies, hippos and toxic sludge, while Team Smiley crafted a thong-clad man in a cape that rotated on top of a giant, phallic tower, complete with a single, enormous ball at the base. I wish I was kidding. Team Emotion took the prize easily, and Bronwen and James were forced into a 30-minute cake decorate-off. Bronwen won. Duh.

And I believe that just about catches us up. (By the way, check out the Lost 100th episode cake, made by Duff’s Charm City Cakes over at Jorge Garcia’s blog! It’s awesome.)

This week, on Lost: Alright, listen up – I know I’m not going to win any popularity votes here, but looking back on this week’s episode just left a bad taste in my mouth. I know, I know, it’s full of all my favorite things – Juliet, temporal theory, big twists, Jack getting shot at – so I should be happy, right? And, yet, somehow I just wasn’t. There were too many frayed ends dangling out there, too much history happening far too quickly and not fitting into four seasons’ worth of carefully laid-out continuity. I will say that upon further thought and some much-needed reflection, I have come around a bit. We’ll get to some of that later, after the recap, but for now let me just say that even though I wasn’t completely thrilled by the 100th episode, it did manage to do one thing that every successful episode of Lost must: make me think. Moving on …

We open in the emergency room, in 2008. Desmond’s just been shot by Ben, and he is rushed toward surgery while Penny is left outside with baby Charlie. She’s understandably worried. In this time of crisis, Eloise – old Mama Time, herself – shows up to give comfort. She admits to knowing Desmond and tells Penny that this is her son’s fault. Penny gets a bit agitated at the thought of this woman being Ben’s mother, until Eloise straightens her out and tells her that Daniel Faraday is the man she meant.

Back in 1977, Dan steps off the sub and greets Miles, just like we saw two weeks ago. We find out that Dan’s been hanging out back at Dharma HQ in Ann Arbor. Not a bad way to spend three years, I suppose. He’s come back to the island because he just saw the picture of the new class of ’77 – Jack, Kate and Hurley. Miles takes Dan over to Jack’s house, where Dan proceeds to tell Jack that Eloise Hawking is basically full of shit and so is Jack for believing in a “destiny.” Hold it, Dan, we almost had the old jackass going and now you had to go and ruin it.

Flashing back, now, or forward, as it were (don’t you love time travel?), to when Daniel was a boy, we see him at the piano. He’s not half bad. A young Eloise Hawking comes into the parlor, stops the metronome, and asks young Dan how many beats the metronome has made since it started. 864, he replies. This, his mum says, is why he has no time to waste on music – he must occupy his brain with math and science, and hone his skills. This does not make young Dan very happy.

“Mum, I’d like you to meet my cauliflower, err, I mean, girlfriend, Theresa.”

Let’s get the other flashbacks out of the way, too, shall we? It’s Dan’s doctoral graduation at Oxford, now, and he has himself a girlfriend – Theresa Spencer, whom he’ll later turn into a temporally-displaced vegetable. Mum wants lunch alone and Daniel is peeved that she’s rude to his girlfriend. Being a momma’s boy, though, he relents. At lunch, he tells her that he’s received a grant from a wealthy industrialist. Charles Widmore, of course. She gives a gruff glare, then hands him a gift before leaving. He opens it. It’s the journal, blank for now, with an inscription.

“… even if I accidentally shoot you in the back. Hugs to you. <3"

It’s 2004-ish now, and Dan is watching the news conference telling the world that Oceanic flight 815 has been found at the bottom of the ocean. He’s sad. We saw this last season. What we didn’t see was Chuck Widmore coming to call. They shoot the shit about the usual stuff: how Dan didn’t mean to turn Theresa into a stunted vegetable, how his memory is full of more holes than swiss cheese, how Chuck wants Dan to go to this Island on a big steamer full of insane mercenaries so he can eventually go back in time and set things straight. Charles also admits to Dan that he faked the whole Oceanic wreckage. Charles adds that the Island could also heal Dan’s riddled memory, to which Dan remarks that he sounds like his mum. It makes sense to Charles because he and Ellie are old chums. I’ll just bet you are, bub. Chums with benefits.

It’s not much later and Dan is playing the piano again. He’s come full circle, playing the same song he did as a child. Eloise enters and he tells her about the job offer. She says he should take it. He asks if this would make her proud, and after a little bit of hesitation, she says yes. Dan agrees to go, and as we shall soon see, that’s not going to work out too well for either of them.

Back in 1977, Jack goes over to Sawyer’s bungalow to tell him Dan has returned. Sawyer shows off the shit he’s gotten into in the meantime – Phil is tied up in the closet. Jack doesn’t ask what sort of crazy party Sawyer and Juliet were throwing.

Ahh, the old “I’ll carry around this big heavy thing and look important” disguise. Tell me, dear readers, why did Dan need to keep a low profile when he ran directly up to Dr. Chang not two minutes after he had knocked into him, and Chang was nonplussed? Why did Dan need to act on the downlow to begin with? Just one more reason why this episode felt a bit whacked.

Over in a well-run patch in the jungle of mystery, Miles and Dan arrive at the Orchid. Pierre Chang is there, and Dan follows him down into the Orchid sub-basement. We can recognize this scene – it’s where we started back in episode one of this season. Dan bumps into Chang and checks out the damage from drilling so near a large source of electromagnetic energy. Dan soon runs up to Chang and tries to convince him that he needs to order the evacuation of everyone on the Island. In six hours, says Dan, someone at the Swan is going to take a pick axe to a world of hurt. Chang thinks he’s full of crap, so Dan pulls out the “I’m from the future” card. This doesn’t work too well, either. He probably should have told Chang how he came up with the idea for the flux capacitor, but whatever. Dan decides to unleash his ultimate trump card: he tells Chang that Miles is his son. Of course, Miles denies it, so Dan is back to square one: nobody leaves, everything go boom.

Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Hurley and Jin all get together at Sawyer’s bungalow to discuss their options. They can either get the hell out of dodge on the sub, or head off into the jungle to start from scratch. The group is split, and soon they are interrupted by Dan, who has this crazy idea of going in search of the hostiles so he can reunite with his mum. Jack wants to help, but doesn’t know how to get to the Hostiles’ camp. He asks Kate, but Sawyer wants Freckles to stay. This doesn’t sit too well with Juliet, who eagerly gives Kate the code to the sonic fence, basically in the hopes that the bitch will go off and be eaten by Ol’ Smokey or taken hostage for good by the Others. Good for you, Juliet.

Sawyer, you miserable bastard. You made her cry. C’mere, baby, I’ll comfort you.

While Sawyer, Juliet, Hurley and Jin start packing up to leave for the beach, Jack and Kate are off on one of their wacky adventures with Dan in tow. They head to the motor pool to get some guns – you know, because every mechanic worth their salt keeps an arsenal in the garage. This ain’t the South, people. (I’m from the South, I can say that.) On the way, Dan spots a little red-headed girl and it’s about the time that he has that little talk with young Charlotte. He tells Jack and Kate to go on and he’ll catch up, then proceeds to be that creepy, scruffy guy that hangs out at the edge of the playground and offers candy.

He gets down on bended knee, and Charlotte says that she isn’t allowed to have chocolate before dinner – the very thing she said before she kicked the bucket a few episodes back. Dan assures her that he won’t tell. Then McWeepy breaks down and gets a bit creepier and tells her that she is going to have to get on the sub with her mum in a couple of hours so they don’t asplode. He really wanted to avoid telling her the whole thing, but he can’t help himself because he thinks he may be able to change things. Dude, if you really wanted to “change things” then you could have just not had the conversation in the first place and seen what happened. If Chang’s going to order an evacuation, she’s probably going to get on the sub and be safe and … whatever. This part just seems lazy and dumb.

“Hello there, stranger. Let me proceed to tell you how much I love chocolate.” What are they teaching these kids? No wonder the Hostiles win.

Dan soon catches up to Jack and Kate and they’re in the middle of raiding Uncle Al’s Auto Stop and Gunnery Shop when Radzinsky and a couple of his lackeys show up in a Dharma bus. Someone had the bright idea to give the physicist a pistol, so we all know how this goes …

“I’m totally not holding a gun, especially in plain sight where you can see it. No, this is one of them new wrenches. We were just going to try and fix an engine, or, failing that, blow a hole in it.”

“Dude, ow! Time out, time out … seriously. Ow.”

“Jeebus, we’re being shot at! Kate, you run out there and get taken hostage while Dan and I escape in this here jeep!”

Poor form, Jack. There are eight-year-olds on Xbox Live right now that could take out your kneecap with a rusty six-shooter and a blindfold.

And they all die in a fire. Just kidding, they miraculously escape in an open-topped vehicle that’s parked 50 yards from Radzinsky & Co. Um, yeah. I don’t know. It IS the late ’70s, after all. Starsky & Hutch were doing stranger things on television, I suppose.

Jack, Kate and Dan arrive at the sonic fence and Kate shuts it down. Jack looks at Dan’s wounds and tells him he has just a scratch. Whew, that was close. Sure am glad Dan didn’t get shot or something. Anyways, while they’re waiting, Dan has to have a little speech on basic temporal theory, reminding everyone that even though they’re all in 1977, this is basically their present and their future is unwritten, and blah blah blah Miles covered all this a few weeks ago, and I covered it in, oh, early 2008. So, yeah, we got it. Thanks.

Back in Dharmaville, Juliet and Sawyer are packing up when the alarm goes off and the goon squad shows up. Radzinsky wants to know where the hell LaFleur has been, and then hears some scuffling going on somewhere in the house. Radz finds Phil bound and gagged in the closet, and immediately surmises that something fishy is going on. He and his men in black force Juliet and Sawyer to the ground at gunpoint.

Back in Hostile territory, Jack, Kate and Dan have taken a breather at a creek. In other words, it’s time to have a deep discussion before they run into the Hostiles, because otherwise you’d probably want to hightail your asses onward before the whole Island is engulfed in electromagnetic hell. Ahem. At any rate, Daniel proceeds to lay it all out for Jack: In a few hours, someone at the Swan is going to trigger a massive electromagnetic pulse that will cause mass devastation. As a result, Dharma will build the Hatch and enable a failsafe protocol that involves having someone push a button every 108 minutes. Desmond will ultimately end up down there and one day forget to push the button, at which point a large electromagnetic pulse will be released that will force Oceanic 815 down onto the Island and eventually lead to all these temporal shenanigans.

Dan used to harp on and on about whatever happened, happened, but now he’s changed his tune. He knows about the constants in the temporal equation, but has forgotten about the variables, which are the people. He now thinks they might be able to change things because of their actions and free will. Gee dude, you just came up with that after all these years? Oh, and get this: Dan wants to change things at the Swan by preventing the “incident.” And how does he want to do this? By detonating Jughead, the hydrogen bomb from 1954. Let that roll around in your head for a couple of seconds – he wants to stop a pulse of electromagnetic energy with a pulse of pure, atomic death-on-a-stick.

Whooo, somebody pour that boy a big, tall mug of crazy.

Back in 2008, at the hospital, Penny is still grief-stricken about Desmond, and she can’t believe her ears when it comes to Eloise. Yes, Daniel Faraday is Ellie’s son. Penny asks Eloise if Des is going to be alright, to which Mama Time replies that she doesn’t know. She also remarks that it’s the first time in a long time that she doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Penny soon receives good news, however, and she and Desmond are reunited.

Here, Desmond is telling Penny that he is never going to leave her, because he promised. Hooray! There are still some characters that I can actually care about on this show.

Outside the hospital, Eloise is approached by Charles Widmore. Of course. He asks how Desmond is doing and Eloise says fine. She also tells him that his daughter’s in there with him. Chuck basically says that he’s had to sacrifice his relationship with his daughter over these years. This doesn’t sit too right with Eloise, and she says that he has no idea of sacrifice, since she had to send her son to the Island to get … wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Chuck remarks that Daniel is his son, too, and gets a slap upside the head. So … I guess we all knew there was another Widmore running around somewhere, and Daniel was as good a candidate as any.

And now, back in 1977, Jack, Kate and Sawyer have finally arrived at the Hostiles’ camp. Dan doesn’t wait, and trots right into camp, shooting up the place. Richard comes out and confronts Dan, whom he seems to recognize. Dan wants to see Ellie, and he wants to see her right that instant. Just as Richard is about to talk Dan down, a shot rings out. Dan looks down to see a bloody hole in his chest, and he slumps to the ground. Behind him is Eloise Hawking, holding a rifle. She leans over him, and he gasps with breath: “You knew this was going to happen, but you sent me anyway.” Eloise wants to know who the hell he is, and with what might just be his dying breath, he tells her that he is her son.

“Rose … bud.”

Cue the thonk!

Whew, crazy episode. As I said earlier, a lot of things that were happening in this episode just weren’t sitting right with me. I fully admitted that having Eloise ultimately shoot Dan was a nice bit of temporal-based irony that ultimately saved the show. The very small, but very welcome, appearance of Desmond and Penny warmed my heart and reminded me why I care. The rest of it, though – not so much upon first viewing. However, after jotting down my concerns and doing a bit of backlogging, I’ve reconciled a few of those. Before I get down to some temporal dissection, a look at Dan’s notebook and a healthy fashion discussion about the snazzy new “evil” Dharma jumpers, I’d like to cover some of the things that were bothering me, and the possible solutions that make it all a little more palatable. Some of you may have had the same concerns, and I hope my thoughts will help ease your troubled minds, as well.

WAIT, WHAT?
Thing the one: What the hell is up with the timing of the “incident?” All indications up to this point have pointed to the incident occurring in the early to mid-80s. Granted, no specific time has been mentioned in the show for when the Incident occurred, but we’ve all been speculating since around season two. The Swan orientation film was the first to mention the Incident, and we soon learned that the button protocol was instituted because of it. There’s even a significant incident mentioned on the blast door map, and it pinpoints the “incident” occurring in 1985.

“Hey Ethyl! He’s got that damn blast door map out again!”

Now, in this episode Dan tells us that the Hatch was built because of the Incident. If that’s true, then the Incident seems to be occurring about five to eight years too soon.

However, upon further reflection there is one saving grace for this particular timeline: the Swan computer, also known as The Button. That computer is an old Apple II, which was introduced in 1977, so it’s entirely possible that Dharma set up the new Swan protocol with the venerable Apple II at the helm. Something still doesn’t feel quite right, deep down in my gut, but I’m willing to give the powers that be the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Thing the two: Everything seems to be happening too fast. For three years, Sawyer and Co. were hanging out with the Dharma Initiative and everything was hunky dory. Now, with in a couple of weeks of Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sayid being back, all hell has broken loose. I know that Jack and Kate are hell on wheels, but give me a break.

When they first showed up, Sawyer went over to the Flame where Radzinsky was building a model of the Swan from proposed blueprints. Within a few episodes – a matter of a week, maybe two – we’re to believe that construction of the Swan had already begun in earnest, including a huge, underground geodesic dome. Why the model, then, Radzinsky? Oooh, it has haunted my brain for the past few weeks.

And then, I realized how completely oblivious I was being. The model was probably for the orientation film. Many of you probably already thought of this, and maybe I missed something in a previous episode (it happens, I can’t catch EVERYTHING), but it finally made sense as to why he was building that architectural model, besides the obvious “hey cool, let’s get that on film” factor. So my mind was eased a bit by that, which is nice.

Thing the three: Charlotte. I mentioned it in the recap, but Dan pretty much negates his whole mutable timeline theory when he talks to Charlotte. He even tries to explain to her that he wanted to avoid it, but he couldn’t and now he wants to try and change things. Well, you just didn’t change a thing, dude, because you were the scary older guy that she told you about right when she died. Try going over to her and not getting all weepy and just say, “Hey, Dr. Chang is going to want everyone to leave, so go find your mommy.” Now, granted, he loved the woman, so seeing her as a child is bound to bring back some traumatic memories of her dying in his arms but c’mon. The whole set-up just seemed to culminate in a cheap payoff. At least that’s my opinion, I could be wrong.

There are more, but let’s move onto something more constructive, something like …

TIME IS ON MY SIDE, YES IT IS
Well, Dan, way to switch your temporal theory on us in mid-stream. You went from preaching static timeline theory straight on to divergent or mutable timeline theory. I’ve covered the specifics of these particular theories ad nauseum over the past two years, so if you want to read more about them, you can check them out in the analysis for “He’s Our You” and in last season’s “The Other Woman.” What I do want to look at is how the future for the Oceanic Survivors could look depending on the theory.

There is nothing specific in Daniel’s monologue this week about the Variables to indicate which of the two alternate theories he may believe can take place, but the safest would be divergent timeline theory. Within the confines of this theory, the future of the Oceanic survivors that we have come to know and love would involve a branching timeline that shoots off and offers another outcome after 1977, if Daniel, or Jack and Kate, are able to change something in the past. Their individual futures where the plane crashed, they survived, etc. would still exist, but in an alternate, branching timeline from this one. They were all able to travel back to this particular spot on the timeline because the event causing the branch had not transpired before this moment in 1977.

In the graphic above, the original timeline is represented by the branch that includes 2004a. In that timeline, Oceanic 815 crashed because of Desmond, etc., all because the electromagnetic pulse (EMP) occurred. The Oceanic survivors traveled back to before the EMP from this particular timeline, setting them up to potentially change the outcome and create a new branch.

This new branch would be represented by the timeline marked 2004b. That branches off when the hydrogen bomb was detonated, preventing the EMP. Now, if our survivors manage to pull something like that off and are able to travel back into the future, they will have to travel along the timeline for 2004b, eventually appearing in an alternate timeline where Oceanic 815 never crashed. There would be no paradox, because a timeline where the survivors did crash and did travel back in time existed prior to this branching timeline. Is this cooking your noodle yet?

This drink recipe continues a very important theme for this week’s Down the Hatch: Cake. Happy 100th, Lost! As my gift to all of you, I present one of the most delicious recipes in my personal collection … CARROT CAKE 1/2 ounce Irish Cream 1/2 ounce Butterscotch schnapps 1/4 ounce Cinnamon schnapps Get out your party hat and throw all the ingredients together in a shaker with ice. Shake, shake, shake senora. Strain into a shot glass. Gulp. Mmmmm, cake.

Okay, look at it another way: raise your hand if you’ve seen Terminator 2. Just about everybody, okay, good. Let’s pretend that Terminator 3 never happened (not a film review, it’s actually quite good, but for the sake of argument). Now, within the confines of that movie, Skynet sends Robert Patrick back to try and kill John Connor. John Connor sends Arnold back so that he would be protected. Now, in the course of Robert Patrick and Arnold’s struggle, both Terminators were destroyed, along with the parts for all the terminator technology that Cyberdyne was using to develop Skynet to begin with. Once that happened, an alternate timeline branch was created where Skynet never came into existence and the terminators never came back, etc. Got it? Go back and watch T2 if you need to. It’s okay, it’s a good way to spend 2.5 hours.

Now, with mutable timeline theory, things get sticky. In this theory, if the survivors were able to change things and the EMP never went off, which later led to Oceanic 815 crashing and them subsequently traveling back in time, then the timeline of 2004a would be destroyed, and “rewritten” as 2004b. If that were to happen, the survivors would be erased, as well, rebooting the timeline and, quite possibly, resetting everything to zero. It could cause a new timeline to develop where the Oceanic survivors never existed in the first place, or it could create a causality loop where the alternate timeline can never really exist, so the timeline reboots to the original setting, the Oceanic survivors crash again, go back in time again, and another set of outcomes become available.

This causality loop would occur every time that an action took place that changed the past, possibly for infinity. Got all that? Don’t worry if you don’t – it would be absolute suicide to subscribe to mutable timeline theory, or at least if you followed it logically. My fear with the writers diverging from static timeline theory (ie,”whatever happens, happens”) is painting themselves into a corner, or forcing the general public to swallow yet another convoluted time travel theory. Sure we’d have some fun over here, but the general audience would be left scratching their heads all through fifth season.

Personally, I think that Dan is wrong, and no one is able to change what has been set in motion. I could be wrong, though, as we have a whole other season to wrap all this up, and I’m not quite sure what crisis the survivors will face before the end.

THE MEN IN BLACK
Okay, can someone, for the love of Juliet, tell me how Radzinsky and his goons were suddenly able to raid Johnny Cash’s closet?

Seriously, where did these jumpers come from? Did I miss something in a previous episode? It’s entirely possible that I did what with all the lack of sleep. Did they get dark jumpers just so we would feel a tinge of evil? And who are these ruffians with Radz, anyway? These are all burning questions that keep me up late at night.

I’M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS IN MY BLOG
Okay, we got to see the origin of Daniel’s journal! Granted, we only saw its birth and none of the important stuff, like how in the hell it’s all filled in, what, exactly is within its contents other than random, insane writings on space-time, the Orchid, etc., and who put all of that into writing in the first place.

As for who filled it in, I’m sure that it was mostly Daniel. There’s a reason he was given that journal in the first place by his mum. He used it to keep track of his experiments, as well as his many forays into the temporal unknown. It was probably a way for Daniel to keep track of the many events he came across during his experiments with temporal flux. He admits in this episode that he tried out his experiments on himself before he did so with Theresa. I’m imagining that Daniel’s experiments caused him to “leap” through time, much like Desmond did in “The Constant.” Daniel was able to see forward and backward along his lifetime, even seeing some events transpiring on the Island, and making appropriate notes. One evidence of this is the marking for the Orchid in his journal. This leaping is also probably what taught Daniel about the importance of a constant, which he passed onto Desmond in order to save his life.

It’s important to note that when Daniel first sees the journal, the pages seem empty and it’s brand new, except for the inscription from his mother. So it seems that a former theory of mine – that the journal was Ellie’s, passed down to Dan – may not be true. It is possible, however, that the journal was taken by Ellie after she shot Dan, and she may have added additional events and notes to it over the years. I imagine that it’s this very journal that allows her to know what’s going to happen through the years. How it’s filled in with such great detail is a bit of a mystery, however. Unless Daniel saw just about everything during his leaps, there would be holes that are almost impossible to gap. For instance, in “The Constant,” Desmond meets Eloise for the first time in the jewelry shop. Eloise knows that Desmond is going to be there, and sets up the meeting so that she can steer him back toward his “destiny” with the button.

In a sense, Ellie has been acting like a bit of a timecop throughout much of the series. She steered Desmond back to his path, made sure that Jack and Co. got back to the Island so they could travel back to 1977, and even sacrificed her own son by sending him to the Island because that’s just the way it’s supposed to happen.

AND A COUPLE THINGS MORE
1.) Daniel may not be dead. He got shot in almost the same place as young Ben, and they’re even closer to the Temple, this time around. Would that be a huge copout? Probably. Would it make a lot of sense? Hell yes, if even just for the sake of consistency. Which means, of course, that it probably won’t happen.

2.) Speaking of electromagnetic pulses, do you know what else emits EMPs? Detonated nuclear bombs. Jughead had a leaky casing. The Hostiles had to do something with it. Bury it, perhaps? More than likely. Dharma digger go boom. Voila, one hell of an EMP. Just something to think about.

And that’s about it for this week. There’s a lot more rattling around in my head, but I’m too frazzled to prattle on about it. Sorry for getting cranky about this week’s episode; I’m just used to such high quality from Lost that I get a little grumpy when something doesn’t sit right with me. There are still three episodes for the creative team to really ramp things up and take us back to formula, and I’m looking forward to it as much as any one of you.

Oh, and before I sign off, remember:

Get shopping for your official Down the Hatch swag by typing the numbers into the command line of your Dharmatel relay computer, or by simply clicking this handy link right here.

Won’t you help us provide for future hobos? At the least, I’d like a sandwich. Just one sandwich. Is that too much to ask?

Thanks for reading and until next time, keep thinking those good thoughts, and if you have an epiphany, write and tell me something good.

Namaste.

Chris Kirkman is a graphic designer/photographer/journalist/geek extraordinaire with way too many Bruce Campbell movies in his library. Michael Emerson, Lost’s Benjamin Linus, called Kirkman’s recaps “one of the smartest articles I’ve ever read about what goes on on our show.” Kirkman is still hoping that Lost will end when Bob Newhart wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette, complaining of a strange, strange dream. You can contact him at ckirkman@hobotrashcan.com.

Similar Posts:

• Lost: Down the Hatch – French Toast
• Lost: Down the Hatch – And so it goes …
• Lost: Down the Hatch – And nary an Archie in sight
• Lost: Down the Hatch – Let’s get ready to rumble
• Lost: Down the Hatch – A Quantum Leap forward

Chris Kirkman is taking a much deserved week off (since the writers of Lost decided to do the same thing this week). So until next Friday, take a look back at the archive and see if you can come up with any new theories. If you think of something good, make sure to leave Chris a comment.

Also, please take a look at the new HoboTrashcan store and support the site by picking up a Down the Hatch t-shirt. After all, Chris has to get hopped up on copious amounts of Red Bull and Sudafed to write his recaps … and that stuff isn’t cheap.

Namaste.