Rest Stop: Don’t Look Back Release Date: October 7, 2008 Own it on DVD Director: Shawn Papazian Writer: John Shiban Stars: Richard Tillman, Joey Mendicino, Julie Mond, Brionne Davis MPAA Rating: Unrated

Ghosts, torture, freaky twins, a freakier midget, a bag of eyeballs and an exploding Porta-John; sounds like the makings of a great horror flick.

These are just a handful of the things that show-up in Rest Stop: Don’t Look Back, the second installment of this horror series produced and written by John Shiban, executive producer and one of the writers of the highly lauded CW program Supernatural. If only the rest of the writers for Supernatural would’ve helped Shiban, Rest Stop may not seem like an 89-minute montage of horror film clichés from the last 30 years.

The story centers on Tom (Richard Tillman), a 30-year-old Army private (or corporal, if you believe the character and not his uniform), who has come home from war to search for his missing brother, Jess (Joey Mendicino) and his girlfriend Nicole (Julie Mond), who are still missing since Rest Stop (2006).

With his blonde hottie, Marilyn (Jesse Ward) and his nerdy best friend Jared (Graham Norris) in tow, he heads west. Let the mayhem begin.

It doesn’t take long for the crew to conveniently stumble upon the exact spot near the edge of California where Jess and Nicole initially met-up with the films veritable buffet of weirdos.

The rest stop killer and the Winnebago family (a demented preacher, his whorish wife, twin sons and a mongoloid midget with a Polaroid camera) are still cruising around the “Old Highway” looking for their next victims. Veteran horror film actor Steven Railsback attempts to bring some credibility to the cast as the foreshadowing gas station owner, but he seems to do little more than a weak take on Brad Dourif ala Nightwatch (1997) throughout much of his scenes.

While I know most horror films are not strong on plot, I do expect them to make-up for it in character. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a single individual to give a rat’s ass about in this movie. The three principles are as one-dimensional as soap opera characters, and the dialogue they have to spit-up isn’t even soap opera worthy. To make matters worse, when someone’s not spewing pointless one-liners like, “I’m gonna go Columbine,” we get to suffer through an intrusive and very often annoying heavy metal soundtrack from Bear McCreary.

Papazian appears to be trying to give the movie a feel similar to Rob Zombie’s infinitely superior film, The Devil’s Rejects (2005) with the sparing use of some 16MM shots which look interesting but out of place with the feel of the rest of the film. The film ends up lacking a single coherent vision, and the result is evident on the screen.

In the end, I blame Shiban. Beyond the stiff or forced acting, the grating music (not grating in that creepy-cool Psycho way; grating like my ears are going to start bleeding), or the somewhat aimless direction, it is the man behind the screenplay who is at fault here … Did I mention, damn-near everyone in the movie is actually a ghost or becomes one? Nice.

Shiban basically borrowed from or let himself be influenced by anything and everything that has ever been used as a shock device in horror films. It seems as though there are elements of everything from The Hills Have Eyes (1977) to the Hostel and Saw franchises. The only thing missing is originality.

Written by Jason Cauley. Rest Stop: Don’t Look Back is available on DVD October 7.

The X-Files Revelations Release Date: July 8, 2008 Own it on DVD Directors: Robert Mandel, David Nutter, Daniel Sackheim, Rob Bowman, Clifford Bole, Kim Manners Writers: Chris Carter, James Wong, Glen Morgan, Darin Morgan, Frank Spotnitz, John Shiban, Vince Gilligan, John Shiban Stars: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson MPAA Rating: Unrated

In this fast-paced world we live in, six years can seem like an eternity. So, with a six year gap between the end of The X-Files television series and the new movie, X-Files: I Want to Believe, there may be some concern that people have forgotten about Agents Mulder and Scully and their never-ending quest for the truth.

So, in order to re-familiarize moviegoers with The X-Files, Fox has released The X-Files Revelations, a collection of eight X-Files episodes selected by series creator Chris Carter and producer Frank Spotnitz. The DVD cover promises that Revelations is the “essential guide to The X-Files movie” and the official press release from Fox claims that this new DVD includes introductions to each episode from Carter and Spotnitz that reveal why each episode was selected and “how they related to the highly anticipated feature film.”

So first, let’s take a look at the eight episodes selected, then I will address whether or not the DVD delivers what it promises:

Pilot
Season One (Originally aired September 10, 1993)

Written By: Chris Carter
Directed By: Robert Mandel

Since X-Files Revelations is hoping to familiarize people with The X-Files, it’s no surprise that they chose to include the pilot episode. In the episode, Dana Scully is assigned to The X-Files to watch over Fox “Spooky” Mulder and to write reports on whatever the two investigate. The episode introduces the two main characters, features a brief cameo by the Cigarette Smoking Man and reveals the details of Mulder’s sister’s abduction.

While the episode itself is an important introduction to the show’s mythology, like most TV pilots, the episode feels off. The story is solid - a group of teens in Oregon who were abducted by aliens begin mysteriously dying - but the way the episode is shot and a lot of the acting in it just seem off. This episode also doesn’t have the series’ trademark opening sequence, it lacks the dark lighting the show became known for and the fashion in it is questionable at best. So, from a storyline perspective, this is an important episode, but if someone was truly unfamiliar with the show and this was their first exposure to The X-Files, this episode might not make a great first impression.

Interesting side note: This episode ends with a Raiders of the Lost Ark-esque closing shot.

Beyond the Sea
Season One (Originally aired January 7, 1994)

Written By: James Wong, Glen Morgan
Directed By: David Nutter

In his introduction to the episode, Chris Carter says that “Beyond the Sea” is one of his favorite X-Files episodes because it showed what the series could be. It certainly is a great episode and one that is leaps and bounds ahead of the pilot. In it, Scully’s father dies unexpectedly and as she continues to try to soldier on and focus on her work instead of her grief, she begins to believe that death row inmate Luther Lee Boggs is actually psychic, even though Mulder is skeptical.

It’s an interesting episode because it features a role reversal for the two main characters. Also, Brad Dourif does a terrific job as Boggs, which really helps to make the episode so memorable. And, while the fashion is still suspect (Mulder wears wacky ties, Scully has shoulder pads and bad hair), this season one episode is much more inline with the signature look the show developed in later seasons.

Interesting side note: When Scully first comes in to work after her father dies, a concerned Mulder actually calls her “Dana,” which doesn’t happen very often.

The Host
Season Two (Originally aired September 23, 1994)

Written By: Chris Carter
Directed By: Daniel Sackheim

For all intents and purposes, this is a fairly standard “Monster of the Week” episode of The X-Files, meaning that it is a stand-alone episode featuring a mysterious creature. In this episode, the monster is The Flukeman, a sewer-dwelling half-man, half-worm hybrid that attacks people in an effort to store its eggs inside of them.

The episode has a few moments, but overall is easily forgettable. However, it’s interesting to watch because it is one of the first episodes to feature AD Walter Skinner and it gives some insight into his personality. In the end of the episode, he is unphased by the fact that the suspect in the case is a sewer monster and is solely interested in how Mulder reports the facts of the case, which throws Mulder for a loop since he assumes Skinner is one of the bad guys.

Interesting side note: This episode also introduces X, Mulder’s mysterious informant.

Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose
Season Three (Originally aired October 13, 1995)

Written By: Darin Morgan
Directed By: David Nutter

This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite episodes of The X-Files. Clyde Bruckman (played flawlessly by Peter Boyle), is an insurance salesman who can see people’s deaths. While Mulder sees this ability as a gift, Bruckman himself considers it a curse. Mulder and Scully need Bruckman’s help to catch a serial killer who is targeting psychics.

In the introduction to the episode, Frank Spotnitz reveals that the first choice for Clyde Bruckman was Bob Newhart. Honestly though, I’m glad they ended up with Peter Boyle because he makes the episode. His interactions with Mulder and Scully are comical, yet sad and he manages to create a very memorable character.

Interesting side note: When determining whether or not Clyde Bruckman is really psychic, Mulder gives Bruckman a piece of his own New York Knicks t-shirt as a red herring, which is the exact same thing Mulder gives to Luther Lee Boggs in “Beyond the Sea” to prove Boggs is a phony.

Memento Mori
Season Four (Originally aired February 9, 1997)

Written By: Frank Spotnitz, John Shiban, Vince Gilligan, Chris Carter
Directed By: Rob Bowman

This episode is part of The X-Files complex mythology. In it, Scully discovers that she has cancer, which is most likely a result of her abduction. While she is in the hospital attempting to fight the disease, Mulder investigates the cause of her cancer and searches for a way to cure her.

Since this wasn’t meant to be a stand-alone episode, it is difficult to judge it on its own, out of context. “Memento Mori” does a great job of exploring Scully and Mulder’s relationship and it is interesting to see how both characters deal with her illness. The episode also features cameos by The Lone Gunmen and the Cigarette Smoking Man, which are always appreciated. While “Memento Mori” may not make a lot of sense to someone unfamiliar with the show, it does showcase the best of what the mythology episodes had to offer.

Interesting side note: In the introduction, Frank Spotnitz reveals that this episode was written at the last minute when a different episode fell through.

The Post-Modern Prometheus
Season Five (Originally aired November 30, 1997)

Written By: Chris Carter
Directed By: Chris Carter

This episode is a modern take on the old Frankenstein movies. Mulder and Scully are called to a small town to investigate a woman’s claim that she was impregnated by The Great Mutato, a monster with two faces. The monster may be the creation of Dr. Pollidori, a mad scientist living in the town (who is played by J. Peterman himself, John O’Hurley).

If I could only show someone unfamiliar with the show one episode of The X-Files, it would be “The Post-Modern Prometheus.” This episode has everything I love about the show - it’s quirky and funny, yet also incredibly touching. Everything about the episode is perfect - including the musical score and the choice to shoot the entire episode in black and white. Though what makes this episode truly memorable is The Great Mutato’s obsession with Cher, who he feels would love and understand him because of her role in Mask.

Interesting side note: Both Cher and Roseanne expressed an interest in being in The X-Files, so this episode was written for both of them to star in, but neither one of them took the roles written for them.

Bad Blood
Season Five (Originally aired February 22, 1998)

Written By: Vince Gilligan
Directed By: Clifford Bole

“Bad Blood” is a comedic episode of The X-Files that centers around a pizza delivery boy in a small town who Mulder believes is a vampire. The episode begins with Mulder driving a stake through the pizza guy’s chest, only to discover that the vampire fangs in his mouth are fake. The rest of the episode is told in Rashômon fashion, with Mulder and Scully getting their stories straight before meeting with Skinner.

What makes this episode great is the way that Mulder and Scully see each other. The way David Duchovny plays Scully’s over-exuberant version of Mulder and the way Gillian Anderson plays Mulder’s cold, impatient version of Scully are hilarious. The episode is so well done that I am willing to forgive them for giving the pizza delivery vampire neon green eyes, which looks cheesy as hell.

Interesting side note: This is Gillian Anderson’s favorite episode of the series.

Milagro
Season Six (Originally aired April 18, 1999)

Written By: Frank Spotnitz, John Shiban, Chris Carter
Directed By: Kim Manners

While Mulder and Scully investigate a series of murders involving a killer who rips out his victims’ hearts with his bare hands (think Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), a writer living next door to Mulder reveals an unsettling obsession with Scully. As they continue to investigate the crimes, Mulder begins to suspect that the writer next door is actually the killer.

The writer character, Phillip Padgett, is incredibly creepy and annoying - he is one of those pretentious, self-important writers who fills his prose with flowery language (he actually describes Scully’s hair as “titian”) - and it’s hard to believe that Scully would take an interest in him and defend his innocence to Mulder when Padgett clearly seems like an unstable stalker.

This is another episode where the roles are reversed and Mulder is the skeptic while Scully is the believer, so thematically it feels like a retread of “Beyond the Sea,” which is a superior episode. By no means is “Milagro” bad, but I’m not sure why Spotnitz and Carter chose to put it on this DVD when they were only allowed to select eight episodes. It just seems like there are better episodes out there that they could have selected. (Although, what do I know? According to Chris Carter, this is Sean Penn’s favorite episode in the series.)

Interesting side note: Carolyn Keene often describes Nancy Drew’s hair as “titian.”

Overall, I think Carter and Spotnitz did a great job showcasing the wide range of The X-Files. The episodes on this DVD range from serious to comedic and from suspense to science fiction. For people unfamiliar with the show or those looking to reconnect with the series after six years apart, this DVD will certainly help to serve as a refresher course before seeing I Want to Believe.

However, the claim that this DVD is an “essential guide to The X-Files movie” is dubious. While Carter and Spotnitz do give their reason for selecting each episode on this DVD, they never address how the episodes tie-in to the film. It seems that Carter and Spotnitz simply selected eight of the best episodes from the series to showcase what The X-Files has to offer, but there is certainly nothing contained in the DVD that provides any insight into the new film. Outside of a trailer for the film and some discussion of it on the Wondercon panel included in the special features, I Want to Believe is barely mentioned on the DVD. (Although the DVD does come with a free ticket to see the new film, which is a nice perk.)

If you were looking to pick up this DVD to help you prepare for the new film, I suggest you save your money. But, if you are a fan of the show who doesn’t already own the complete series on DVD or someone new to The X-Files who wants to know what all of the fuss is about, this is a worthwhile purchase.

Written by Joel Murphy, July 2008. X-Files Revelations is currently available on DVD. X-Files: I Want to Believe opens in theaters July 25.

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Batman: Gotham Knight Release Date: July 8, 2008 Own it on DVD Directors: Yasuhiro Aoki, Futoshi Higashide, Toshiyuki Kubooka, Hiroshi Morioka, Shoujirou Nishimi, Jong-Sik Nam Producers: Toshi Hiruma, Mitsuhisa Ishikawa, Masao Maruyama, Eiko Tanaka, Bruce Timm Screenwriters: Brian Azzarello, Alan Burnett, Jordan Goldberg, David S. Goyer, Bob Kane, Josh Olson, Greg Rucka Stars: Kevin Conroy, Gary Dourdan, David McCallum, Jim Meskimen, Kevin Michael Richardson MPAA Rating: PG-13

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Joel Murphy

It’s no secret that movies these days are expensive. By the time you pay for two tickets, popcorn and drinks, you are out around $40 on a movie that is most likely a remake, sequel or poorly-executed sports comedy starring Will Ferrell. So why shell out a wad of cash for a movie filled with recycled gags and a boring plot (especially when we all have DVD players and hundreds of cable channels showing movies around the clock for much less)?

That’s why I’m starting a new feature here called the “Poor Man’s Movie Review.” If you are poor like me, instead of wasting your hard-earned cash on the latest big studio release, I’m going to start spotlighting lesser-known films you can enjoy without breaking your piggybank. They might not have the big-name stars or fancy special effects that Hollywood blockbusters contain, but they can still entertain you.

To kick off the “Poor Man’s Movie Review,” I am spotlighting Ogre, a SciFi original movie about, well … an ogre. More specifically, it’s about the town of Ellensford, Pennsylvania, which has been plagued by an ogre since the mid-1800s.

Why is the town plagued by an ogre? Well, you see, back in 1859, Ellensford was ravaged by disease. The opening shots of the film show a snow-covered mass grave and people being locked into quarantine. The citizens of Ellensford were dying and there seemed to be no cure in sight (this is the 1800s after all, where medicine mainly consisted of either covering people with leeches or sawing off limbs). When it seemed like all hope was lost, the town’s resident sorcerer Henry Bartlett (played by John Schneider, best known for his role as Bo Duke in the original Dukes of Hazzard TV show), offers to rid Ellensford of disease in exchange for being named town magistrate.

The citizens of Ellensford, assuming that Bartlett is “just a good ol’ boy never meaning no harm,” agree to his proposition. Bartlett waves around his glowing magic wand with his pentagram-marked hand and just like that, the plague is cast out of the town. However, the one thing Bartlett neglected to mention was that the disease wasn’t destroyed, it was magically transformed into a living creature - more specifically, an ogre. To keep the ogre from going batshit insane and destroying the whole town, every year on the winter solstice, one citizen of Ellensford has to be shackled in the town square and offered to the ogre as a sacrifice. Then, after eating the poor sap selected, the ogre returns to his lair, presumably to hang out with a wise-cracking donkey and a smooth-talking cat dressed like Zorro.

This annual ritual continues in Ellensford to the present day. The citizens are basically frozen in time; they no longer age and all look exactly like they did in 1859. Every year another one of them is sacrificed, which has slowly dwindled the town’s population down to only a handful of people. The outside world believes that the town is simply a myth; occasionally, small clues are found by hikers, but the world at large has forgotten about Ellensford. The citizens of Ellensford are stuck in the town - if they wander too far outside the perimeter, they dissolve into a bright light and disappear forever.

However, four young punks (two guys, two girls) begin trekking through the woods looking for this ghost town. Being carefree douchebags in their 20s, the four inadvertently release the ogre, who decides to forget about the whole “one citizen per year” agreement and instead goes on a killing spree, disemboweling anyone who gets in his path. The outsiders and citizens of Ellensford decide it’s finally time to stand up to the monster and rid their town of this curse once and for all (if only they had decided that back in 1859, they could have spared the 149 poor schlubs who were offered up as sacrifices).

This leads to some great ogre fight scenes and even a Harry Potter-style sorcerer battle involving Bartlett’s daughter Hope, who learned magic from her dad (it’s always nice to see fathers and daughters bonding, even if it is over the black arts). I won’t ruin the ending for you, but needless to say, it is CGI-tacular.

Many of you may be wondering what exactly the ogre looks like. Sadly, he looks nothing like Donald Gibb, the man who played Fred “Ogre” Palowakski in the classic 80s comedy Revenge of the Nerds. Basically, the ogre in this film looks like the lovechild of an orc from the Lord of the Rings trilogy and a baboon (as you can imagine, he’s a handsome fella). Thankfully, he decides to keep his ogre-bits covered with a loincloth, but other than that, he is au naturale.

The special effects are about what you would expect from a SciFi original movie. The ogre is obviously CGI-ed, the quality of which is probably 10 years behind what you would see in theaters these days (and probably not even as good as what your average film student could produce on his iMac). The sorcery in the movie is equally as bad - it mainly consists of bright white lights washing over the screen anytime something magical happens.

The story is obviously quite ridiculous, but honestly no more ridiculous than the average horror movie. The plot and dialogue all move along at a steady pace and while the story is quite predictable, it is still well-scripted and entertaining (besides, the concept of the film alone more than makes up for the cookie-cutter plot). According to IMDB, Ogre is the first screenplay written by Chuck Reeves, which makes it even more impressive that the script doesn’t suck.

The acting in the film is actually solid, too. All of the actors were able to deliver their lines convincingly and they are giving much better performances than you see in a lot of SciFi original movies. (I’m talking about you, Alien Apocalypse - a movie so shitty and with so many poor performances that even Bruce Campbell couldn’t save it.)

I’m not going to try to convince you that Ogre is a classic film that deserves a place of honor on your DVD shelf, but if you stumble across this movie on SciFi one night, it’s worth checking out. I mean, it’s about a giant ogre that eats villagers. Seriously, what else do I need to say?

Random Thought of the Week:

Happy birthday, Mom!

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He loves pugs, hates Jimmy Fallon and has an irrational fear of robots. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.

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