Hobo Radio 119 – It all sucks
- Introduction
- Fan mail
- Shutter Island
- Kevin Smith
- Contractually-obligated Batman discussion
- “Geek” by The Crazy Ivans
Week 119 Spotlight: It all sucks
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In the eyes of Joel Murphy and Lars, Shutter Island, Kevin Smith’s battle with Southwest Airlines and Superman all share one thing in common – they all suck.
It doesn’t matter if you are talking about Leonardo DiCaprio battling crazy people, Kevin Smith battling the fatty-haters at Southwest or Superman battling an array of lame villains. The end result is still the same – piles and piles of suck. Luckily, mocking things that they dislike has become the bread and butter of Hobo Radio, so this week our dynamic duo is in rare form.
What is Martin Scorsese so enamored with Leonardo DiCaprio? How much would you pay to own Batman’s first appearance in Detective Comics? What team was Jeremy Irons playing for in Die Hard With A Vengeance? The answers to these questions and more are in this week’s podcast.
Hobo Radio is the official podcast of HoboTrashcan, brought to you by The Podcast Network.
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I have a fairly strong opinion on the whole Kevin Smith thing. It’s not just a shitty policy, it’s a humiliating policy. As many bloggers have already said (namely Kate Harding of Shapely Prose, who also writes for Broadsheet, among others) I am sorry this happened to Kevin Smith the person, but I’m very glad it happened to Kevin Smith the loud-mouth public figure. As annoying as it is to hear him go on and on about it, I’m glad he won’t shut up. It probably won’t change airline policy (of treating customers as if they were cargo) nor will it change the dominant negative opinion about fat people, but at least it’s in the public eye even for a short while. Southwest handled it terribly, especially with not telling the truth about what sparked the incident in the first place, and with their disgustingly sorry excuse of an apology. It is very rare that I’m on Kevin Smith’s side, but I’m definitely on the side of fat people being treated as human. So, no, I don’t want him to shut up about it, even if he makes me want to shank someone. (Everything else, though? Yeah, not such a big fan these days.)
On an entirely different topic, if I were rich, I’d do what Brad Pitt did and just buy a big ass house with a cave. And before you delved into the realm of the disgusting, I was going to say that you can thank archives and museums for the supplies geeks need to preserve their comics.
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Thanks for the shout out, fellas. And yes, I know Jeremy Irons played Simon as the gayest thing this side of Clay Aiken. He makes Ricky Martin look like an even more butch John McClane and yet, I can’t explain my fascination with him. It’s inexplicable. Perhaps I can convert him, if I could ever get past the man-faced, Eastern European chick with the scary scythe knife.
And not to just parrot everything you guys say–but apparently, I’m going to–Leonardo DiCaprio is sort of the anti-Teflon actor for me. The Kryptonite to your Denzel, if you will, Joel.
Every time I watch something with DiCaprio in it, I’m always thinking, ‘Well, Scorsese seems to like him & “they” TELL me he’s a good actor, so I’ll watch THIS movie…’ and then halfway–or even less than halfway–I’m like, ‘FUCK!?!?!? They tricked me again!’
I either have to just ENDURE him if it it’s a movie with a decent plot that I care about or resort to mocking him with his ever-present, revolving-door accent to make it through something I don’t give a shit about—if I paid for it in the theaters…if I didn’t, then I just change the goddamned channel: I’m looking at you, TBS and TITANIC…and James Cameron, for that matter. You give us Terminator 1 & 2, The Abyss and Aliens and then you give me a movie that makes my ovaries cry…out of sheer terror. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I can’t shake the feeling that Kate Winslet strikes me as DiCaprio’s mother in the impromptu-Henry Ford-car sex scene. She looks WAY older and after they’re done, she holds him like a little baby. Weird, just WEIRD. And you can take turns with him on the floating door in the freezing ocean, you selfish WHORE!!!!! But I digress…Wait, I’m not done: FUCK YOU, TOO, AVATAR, you self-important, predictable but visually innovative piece of shit!!!!
But hold on, I’m letting my frustration with Cameron overshadow my dismay with DiCaprio. I have only one more thing regarding DiCaprio: you’re right in that he just recently started resembling something like a man and not a tiny child and he’s pushing FORTY!!!! FUCKING FORTY!?!?! Fellow women, tell me again why he’s desirable? I like my men to look like, oh…I don’t know…MEN. Except when they look like the uber-gay Jeremy Irons by way of Simon Peter Gruber (aka Peter Krieg), but that’s just an aberration.
Okay, I’m done.
Holy shit that was the most elipses I’ve ever used in one sitting.
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P.S. Kevin Smith was flying on Southwest. What a perfect metaphor for the current state of his career.
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KayceeK: I hate Titanic with a fiery passion strong enough to melt any iceberg. Partly because the movie was pretty, but just terrible. And also because it was out in theaters on my birthday, and that’s how one of my friends remembers my birthday. Ugh.
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Joelle: Ugh, indeed. But I have to wonder…you’re friend actually remembers what day Titanic premiered? And THAT’S how she/he remembers you birthday? Wow. Not to impune your friend, but wow.
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Dude, I know. But to be fair, this is how it went down: The friend in question had a Titanic themed desktop thingie on her computer. Whenever the screensaver would kick in, you’d see a picture of the movie poster with the date. So, apart from her having the desktop theme in the first place, it’s not as bad as it first looks. I’m still resentful, though.
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KayceeK – That rant above was epic.
Will you marry me?
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Joel: Sure. But only in a Die Hard themed wedding.
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Just as long as you don’t have that terrible haircut Holly has in the first movie.
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Yeah, that would never be happening. It looked like Bonnie Bedelia scalped Weird Al Yankovic circa “UHF” and fashioned a rudimentary hair piece out of her spoils. And, coincidentally, as the wife of John McClane, I could totally see her doing that.
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I now. Pronounce you. Man and wife. Ho. Ho. Ho.
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Epic thread is epic. I want to marry all of you.
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