A Cinecle View – Yep, it’s definitely you

Tony Marion

Tony Marion

Dear Kathy,

I’ve tried to get through to you before, but you’re not listening.

(Sigh.)

Let’s try this one more time.

“… the end goal is for younger women and younger LGBT folks, or disenfranchised people of any kind can watch me survive with a sense of humor.”

STOP EQUATING YOUR STRUGGLE WITH THE FIGHT AGAINST MISOGYNY, OR EQUALITY FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY, OR THE QUEST TO END SEXUAL ABUSE!

What’s happened to your career is not remotely comparable to any of the things listed above because women didn’t choose to be women. “LGBT folks” didn’t choose to be wired differently from what was traditionally considered to be “normal” sexually. Victims of abuse are NEVER asking for it.

YOU CHOSE THIS:

kathygriffin-trumphead_IG-1-e1496344047783

If you still don’t understand why you’re on watch lists, read this. Then, try to wrap your mind around the fact that the photo in question wasn’t accompanied by a cleverly worded, Frederick Douglass-like bit of subversion – YOU HELD UP THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE’S SEVERED FUCKING HEAD LIKE YOU WERE CERSEI LANNISTER ON MOVING DAY, which puts you in great comedic company.

“I just want you guys to know that I am fully in the middle of a blacklist. Like, a Hollywood blacklist.”

Yes, because Hollywood loves President Trump, as proof … you know what, I just can’t. I was going to drop a few thousand links here, but honestly if you’re too lazy to watch any of the late night talk shows that won’t book you, or surf over to CNN.com, or read any of the celebrity Twitter accounts belonging to people that you whine about not sticking up for you,
I’m not going to help you. ALMOST NO ONE IN HOLLYWOOD LIKES HIM.

You weren’t blacklisted by Hollywood; not many people there like you, either. But it’s not because you’re an outspoken woman, it’s because you’re a bitter, jealous, bridge-burning asshole. See also: Nearly your entire body of standup comedy.

Even when it comes to your “heroes”.

“I read today that my pal Lena Dunham is sticking up for some male writer that was accused of sexual harassment and her female partner Jenny Konner, who Judd Apatow handpicked for her and nobody’s ever handpicked anybody for me … you know, I don’t know the details, but my first instinct is girl that’s not helping the movement …”

Someone did handpick a partner for you once, but, shocker, you scorched that earth, too.

But you’re right about one thing; you don’t know the details motivating the outrage against Lena Dunham’s support of Murray Miller. He
wasn’t accused of “sexual harassment”, he was accused of raping a minor (who passed a polygraph), but hey, by all means, leverage the headline of a story that you glanced at for a few seconds but didn’t bother to read in an attempt to bill yourself as some kind of martyr. There’s NOTHING crass or megalomaniacal about that at all! Who doesn’t understand the movement?

“There are a lot of forces coming against people like me that are trying to do something. I mean look at Harvey Weinstein hired Kroll, by the way Nick Kroll’s dad, started that company, Nick, so he doesn’t have to worry about money, and some company called Black Cube to like follow Rose McGowan, so um, I’m kind of assuming I’m next.”

I’m honestly not sure which is more appalling, your disgusting attempt to equate yourself with Rose McGowan or your pathetic jealousy of Nick Kroll’s family’s money. Either way, Neither McGowan nor Kroll chose their circumstances.

Did Tyler Shields lure you to his suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel by promising to produce a comedy special for you, but instead forced an effigy of President Trump’s severed head into your hand and snapped a picture without your consent?

No, YOU CHOSE THIS:

kathygriffin-trumphead_IG-1-e1496344047783

“… this wall of crap has never fallen on any woman in the history of America like it has on me, so … and by the way, I know about Eartha Kitt, and I very much encourage you to look her up, but even Eartha Kitt didn’t have like, Fox News … although, by the way, I’m bowing down to Eartha Kitt and anyone else who’s ever been blacklisted.”

EARTHA AND JOHNSON_00000

First, Eartha Kitt WAS ASKED for her thoughts on the Vietnam War by Lady Bird Johnson during a White House luncheon and she gave an honest answer:

The children of America are not rebelling for no reason. They are not hippies for no reason at all. We don’t have what we have on Sunset Blvd. for no reason. They are rebelling against something. There are so many things burning the people of this country, particularly mothers. They feel they are going to raise sons – and I know what it’s like, and you have children of your own, Mrs. Johnson – we raise children and send them to war.

Her response was not only as thoughtful as it was passionate, it was also respectfully addressed to the First Lady.

Did Melania ask you to demonstrate the manner in which you’d like to see her husband die? Did Ivanka? Did Barron?

Nope. Yet, YOU VOLUNTEERED TO DO THIS:

kathygriffin-trumphead_IG-1-e1496344047783

So, no, not REMOTELY the same thing.

The career setback that Kitt endured for that exchange was ridiculous by any standard, and, like every other group you’ve tried to ride like a dilettante remora, please stop comparing your circumstances to those of ANY African American woman in the late 1960s before I send a copy of your latest video to my new hero, Zinzi Clemmons.

“I wish I was on television, I have two Emmys, which apparently doesn’t mean anything … and you know my new title … the Mayor of Zero Fucksville.”

And that’s what it really boils down to; not some grand altruistic mission for the betterment of the disenfranchised, but your desire to be famous and your resentment of those that you feel have fame while deserving it less than you.

Yep, It’s definitely you.

Love always,

Tony

P.S. Really? The “Mayor of Zero Fucksville?” Based on that level of originality, don’t the contributors at this site deserve TV shows, too?

Tony Marion is a writer and filmmaker who splits time between Lancaster, PA and Baltimore, MD. He lives for the work of Descendents (the band), Chuck Palahniuk and Rian Johnson. Check out the digital embodiment of procrastination he calls his website here.

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