Black Friday jackets

I actually went shopping on Black Friday. I never do that. In fact, I can't stand it when people make shopping that day into some sort of badge of honor.

I wasn't stupid enough to get up real early and wait in line just to get a bargain. My wife had to work around eight, so I just got up when she did and headed out to the store at my own pace.

I only wanted to look for one thing - a portable DVD player. We'll need it to keep my seven-year-old happy on a long car trip coming up. I knew I wouldn't find any of the ultra cheap ones by the time I went out to the store, but I figured I would try. After all, this was all just a ruse to get myself a fancy coffee and some cake from Starbucks after I walked around the store for a while.

That ended up working out great because I remembered at the very last second that Starbucks had started serving gingerbread lattes. I got to have my first one of the season on Black Friday, which made the whole experience that much more special.

Just like I thought, everyone had sold out of the portable DVD players on sale. So I headed out of Wal-Mart to get some coffee and found myself a deal that would change my life for at least the next week.

Sport coats for $19.

I have to dress up for work. It kind of sucks, but I went to Catholic school from kindergarten up so I got used to wearing a tie every day a long time ago. We had to wear jackets in high school too so I can deal.

Usually, I get away without wearing a jacket. I have one in my car sometimes when I really might need it, but a shirt and tie does the job most days.

None of that mattered when I could get jackets for $19. I don't get too caught up in labels and shit like that so I really didn't care if they came from Wal-Mart. They cost less than a video game. That was a good deal.

So I grabbed two different styles, paid and got the hell out of there before someone tried to say they were on the wrong rack or some crap like that. I had three days before I had to go back to work, but couldn't wait to wear one of my new jackets. I didn't want to work - I just wanted to walk around in it and show it off.

Besides, I somehow had lost my winter jacket. And my fleece jacket disappeared months ago. I didn't need these jackets just because they were cheap and would make me look good. I was running out of options.

I took a little extra care in making sure everything matched on my first day at work. I normally don't really care if I get comments on my wardrobe, but I got off my ass on Black Friday to get this jacket. I needed it to make an impression.

That didn't take long. The compliments didn't flow one after the other, but I got a few comments on how nice I looked as the day wore on. After I while, I noticed one thing in the voices.

Surprise.

What the hell was their problem? Why did just putting a jacket over my usual clothes make them so stunned that I looked good?

Of course, when I said something about it, they all backed off and said that I always looked good. But I didn't know if I could trust them.

I started to wonder - did I look like a bum every other day of the week? I know my tie can be askew once in a while and my hair has no clue of how to stay in one place, but was all that just begging for a jacket to distract everyone's eyes?

I had to remember that I didn't really get the jackets so I could draw compliments from people at work. I got them because they were cheap as shit and I was going to freaking freeze without them.

After a little while, I decided to stop worrying about any ulterior motives and just accept the compliments. The sad part is that I will never get a chance to really investigate whether the women who said something really meant it.

Somehow, I don't think my wife would appreciate that.

Brian Shea is probably enjoying a beer in his basement right now. You can contact him at columns@regularguycolumn.com.