A Cinecle View – Dear NBC News …

Tony Marion

I’m taking a time out from my COMCAST bashing to address a current event that has literally changed my life.

Dear Steve Burke, Deborah Turness and Andrew Lack,

You made some news last week (pun intended) last week!

Who knew that shuffling up the morning show lineup would get you this much ink-pixel-audio attention?

Unlike some out there, I’m not writing this to accuse you of anything, bash your new hire and especially not bash the recently departed.

I’m writing this to tell you that after nearly 10 years of at least twice weekly viewing, I will no longer be watching The Today Show.

Perhaps the ratings prove my views to be in the minority, but in my humble opinion, the Al Roker/Tamron Hall hour was the best part of the show because …

1. They’re both fun and quirky yet insightful and professional.
2. They are dynamite with guests and guest hosts (their day with Darius Rucker a few weeks ago was awesome).
3. I don’t feel like I’m getting force fed any specific political view when I’m watching them.
4. Kathy Lee, while I respect her success as a broadcaster, is, to me, unwatchable.
5. Matt Lauer is an unlikeable, self-important asshole.

Again, I don’t see the numbers that you see. Maybe Hall and Roker hemorrhage viewers in the third hour of the show after a strong lead in from hours one and two and this decision is based purely on math. Maybe the percentage of people like me, i.e., those that are essentially crushing on Tamron …

… is far smaller than I’d like to believe and you have polling or Q scores or tea leaves that point to the undeniable force that is Megyn Kelly as a way to harness the current wave of blue collar patriotism sweeping the nation to cure whatever is ailing Today’s 3rd hour.

But, pardon my French, I don’t give a fuck about your reasons.

After two hours of slanted “news” and inquisitions, I mean, interviews in which Lauer does whatever he can to antagonize conservative, Republican or guests that are just easy pickins …

… Tamron and Al were a welcome diversion. The last thing that I want is another hour of having to see and hear more politically-slanted punditry thinly-disguised as “TV journalism,” even if it comes in an equally intelligent, talented and aesthetically-pleasing package to the one that you chased away.

And of course, swapping Tamron Hall for Megyn Kelly is not “white washing,” at least not by any definition that I’ve ever heard:

noun – whitewash

1. A solution of lime and water or of whiting used for painting walls white.
2. a deliberate concealment of someone’s mistakes or faults in order to clear their name.

verb – whitewashing

1. Paint (a wall, building or room) with whitewash.
2. Deliberately attempt to conceal unpleasant facts about (a person or organization).”his wife must have wanted to whitewash his reputation”. Synonyms: cover up, sweep under the carpet, hush up, suppress, draw a veil over, conceal, veil, obscure, keep secret; Moregloss over, downplay, soft-pedal
3. Defeat (an opponent) and keeping them from scoring.
4. A casting practice in the film industry of the United States in which white actors are cast in historically non-white character roles.

While I can’t prove it, I’m going to guess that Megyn Kelly was not hired to play Tamron Hall in a Tamron Hall bio-pic, nor to literally paint Hall white, nor to provide crisis management services in the wake of Hall’s accidental and hilarious on-air revelation that she has a boyfriend named Tony and he lives in Chicago.

I’m in no way asking that the National Association of Black Journalists to back off of you; you douchebags brought this on yourselves. I’m merely suggesting that if they want to accuse you of racism, I for one would appreciate it if they just come out and say exactly that.

But I digress …

For now, I’m just going to switch to trash television three hours earlier than normal, subtracting Today from my morning lineup and replacing it with an Eye Opener, an episode of Cheaters and Judges Hatchett, Ross and Mablean.

At least until Tamron finds a new morning gig. No hard feelings though.

I know that none of this will have any bearing on your decision or Ms. Hall’s decision, but I had to get it off my chest so that I could get back to my current writing gig – regaling readers on the internet with an ongoing series detailing the ludicrous incompetence of the COMCAST corporation.

Oh. Now it all makes sense.

Never mind,

Tony Marion

Tony Marion is a writer and filmmaker who splits time between Lancaster, PA and Baltimore, MD. He lives for the work of Descendents (the band), Chuck Palahniuk and Rian Johnson. Check out the digital embodiment of procrastination he calls his website here.