Just Friends – Nicole

Name: Nicole
Age: 23
Sign: Slippery When Wet

Nicole is an absolute whirlwind. She has a deadly combination of beauty, brains and a willingness to say exactly what’s on her mind. Maybe it has something to do with living in Philly, the only city to ever have a jail inside it’s football stadium.

Whatever the reason for her sharp tongue, it only adds to her charm. It’s a shame Joel doesn’t have a shot in hell with her.

1. How long have you and Joel been friends?

One time Joel poured paste down my Little Mermaid underwear in kindergarden, so i stuck gum on his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lunch box. Been friends ever since.

2. What do you think of him?

He’s a dirty slut.

2b. No, what do you really think of him?

No wait, that was me.

3. If Joel gave you a gun with three bullets (and Leonardo DiCaprio was already dead), what three celebrities would you shoot and why?

Lance Armstrong for the irony of it, Jerry Fallwell for moral reasons and Richard Simmons for fun.

4. What would be the perfect way to spend a day with Joel (assuming he allows you to hang with him)?

I’d sweep Joel off his feet with champagne and flowers. Then once the roofies I slipped in his glass took effect, rape his bum ’til the cows come home.

5. What are five random words that describe Joel?

titillating, fetching, seductive, fascinating, toxic

6. Joel just really pissed you off. You have ten seconds to tell him off. What do you say?

“Joel, you’re so stupid I hate you and your wrestling watching, below the Mason-Dixon line living, bullshit … ok, I love you. Undo your pants.”

7. Can Joel borrow five bucks?

Only if I can stick it in his g-string while he jiggles his balls to “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred.

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