Karyn is the kind of girl you could take home to meet your mother, as long as mom is cool with lots of drinking and swearing. In addition to being way out of Joel’s league, she could probably beat him in a fist fight.
1. How long have you and Joel been friends?
Well, I would have to say somewhere around a year and a half.
2. What do you think of him?
Overbearing, obnoxious little toad.
2b. No, what do you really think of him?
Joel rocks. He’s enough of a smart ass that he can manage to come off as a sweet and funny guy that reminds you of the teddy bear you hugged, then punched, as a kid.
3. If Joel gave you a gun with three bullets (and Leonardo DiCaprio was already dead), what three celebrities would you shoot and why?
First and foremost, Jewel. Her voice is pure torture on my eardrums and I would aim the gun directly at her throat. My second bullet would be dedicated to Keanu Reeves to spare all of mankind from another movie with his deplorable acting ability. Ahh, the last bullet. Considering my growing list of deplorable people on the planet, I would have to dedicate an island to all of the individuals that do not deserve to live, then have them strung together and strapped with explosives. I would then use my last bullet to start the chain reaction of explosions by shooting the first one to look at me cross-eyed.
4. What would be the perfect way to spend a day with Joel (assuming he allows you to hang with him)?
The day must start out with a trip to the closest of my favorite bars. After a deliteful buzz had been worked up, along with consumming fattening bar food, we would then proceed to search out the best adult entertainment store. After perusing all of their merchandise options, we would retreat to another bar to discuss the different products and their uses.
5. What are five random words that describe Joel?
hmm, observing, quiet, funny, different
6. Joel just really pissed you off. You have ten seconds to tell him off. What do you say?
I don’t need words. I use my fist.
7. Can Joel borrow five bucks?
Sure, as long as he signs a contract with 87.4 percent interest with a two year commitment.