Courtney Enlow For my final HoboTrashcan article as a regular, I thought to myself, “Self, I could rail against Lindsay Lohan, or wax poetic about the tao of Patrick Swayze or perhaps talk about film and television circa 1994. You know. Things I always do.” But the universe had more in store for me. The…
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Courtney Enlow Well, my little blueberries, next week will be my last week writing for HoboTrashcan, as a regular at least. I’ve had so much fun over the past three years, sharing my tales of horrific nocturnal Wii-playing neighbors, bewilderingly beloved vampire tween porn, horror movie posters that outshone the films they were intended to…
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Courtney Enlow There is something inherently familiar about famous people. Being so ubiquitous and showing so much emotion in their works and performances, we feel as though we know them, even though they are complete strangers. Naturally, some of us desire to know more. The problem with finding out more is that it often involves…
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Courtney Enlow If you’ve been reading my stuff at Pajiba, you know I’ve been spending a lot of time talking about chick flicks lately. Yes, friends, my mind has been particularly estro-festy lately. I love good chick flicks, and hate the bad ones (a.k.a., most of them) to the point of physical violence against a…
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Courtney Enlow 8:00 – We open on a big close-up of Eminem’s face with a black hood. Shades of Palpatine. Or, he’s having a not-so-fresh day and could really use some Vagisil. 8:02 – Interestingly enough, the stage is covered in a tent of stretched out maxi pads. And Rihanna’s hair is period red. Now…
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Courtney Enlow I do not understand fantasy football. It make about as much sense to me as Inland Empire and vastly less interesting. But I am to understand that it is absolutely fascinating and life-consuming for some of you. I am confused by your choices in hobby, but I admire your gusto and moxie. So…
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Courtney Enlow Let’s do this. First, the picks. Italics is my wishes and dreams; bold is who will actually win. OUTSTANDING DRAMA Lost Breaking Bad I’m still working through Breaking Bad and have not actually seen this past season, but I got enough “holy shit, holy shit, holy shit” GChat messages about it that I…
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Courtney Enlow He’s creepy. He’s hateful. He induces the kind of rage that causes people to set puppies on fire. He causes the kind of ire that makes my eye twitch like Mr. DeMartino from Daria. And he’s apparently really fucking good at it. For over four years now, we’ve been inundated with the flesh-colored…
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Courtney Enlow Hear me out. So you’re on an elevator with the snozzberries guy who’s married to Christina Hendricks, Ryan Atwood’s brother Trey, some chick who I thought was from the trailer was the girl from Miss Congeniality but apparently isn’t, some other clowns and Charlie Sheen. Pretend you’re M. Night Shyamalan. Which one do…
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Courtney Enlow Yep. I saved the worst for last. Over the summer, I’ve brought you some of my darkest, most secret cinematic shames. But this one? This is the clincher. Grease 2 is, without any hint of exaggeration or hyperbole, the most batballs-retarded piece of movie shit in history. It is awful, it is painful,…
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