TV roller coaster

The last few days in front of my television have been an emotional roller coaster.

First, there was the two hour season finale of 24, which is one of my favorite shows, but it definitely lost steam this season. While it was fun to see Jack Bauer's crazy mountain man beard and while I thoroughly enjoyed watching his bite a chunk of flesh out of a guy's neck, the majority of this season has just been painful to watch.

When Chloe fainted during the season finale, after I finished rolling my eyes, the first thing I said to my girlfriend was, "She better not be pregnant." But, of course, in an effort to further the Chloe-Morris romantic plotline that absolutely no sane person wants to see more of, they made Chloe pregnant. I can suspend disbelief on a lot of things - Jack's wife getting amnesia in season one; the fact that Jack Bauer never eats, sleeps or goes to the bathroom and even Jack and even Secretary Heller somehow surviving after his car went over the side of a cliff into the ocean, but even I have trouble believing that two guys would fight over Chloe and it would end with her getting knocked up.

The last 20 minutes of the episode were just painful. After stopping a terrorist attack, then saving his nephew from his father, the Chinese government and American missiles, Jack decides to track down the father of the woman he loves (who forbid Jack to see her again after she was brainwashed by the Chinese government). So, while hanging from the bottom of a helicopter, Jack decides to jump into the ocean. Then, he somehow manages to get out of the water, off of the beach and to Secretary Heller's house in around five minutes, even though he had no car.

So Jack has an emotional scene with Secretary Heller (one straight from the script of Melrose Place) and decides to leave Audrey behind in order to protect her. Not that Audrey seemed to care, since she was all hoped up on Chinese torture drugs.

When the best Jack Bauer scene this week took place on The Simpsons, something definitely isn't right. I really hope they come back strong next January so that I can someone get the image of Jack Bauer gazing pensively at the ocean out of my head. Perhaps David Palmer and Charles Logan (who I assume is dead since he flatlined, even though they never really followed up on that storyline) can come back as evil zombie presidents.

Luckily, things got better on Wednesday night, when I watched the season finale of one of my other favorite shows, Lost. While Lost has had it's ups and downs and ABC has mishandled the show at every turn, I felt that the show has been really strong in the weeks leading up to the finale. It's been so good, I've almost been willing to forgive the show for the terrible way they killed off Mr. Echo ... almost.

The Lost season finale was great. It had everything I could possibly hope for - explosions, a guy with an eye patch taking a harpoon to the chest, Hurley running a guy down with a VW Microbus, Sayid killing a guy using only his legs and Jack popping pills and sporting a Ricky Williams-esque beard. And I haven't even mentioned Sawyer gunning down the naked guy from Sideways and Charlie drowning (which made me happy because I was sure they would cop out on his death - which would have been cheesy).

I'll admit, I'm not really sure what to think of the ending. The "flashback" turning out to be a flashforward was definitely unexpected and I'm not really sure where the show will go from here. Also, I'm really wondering how they will explain Mikhail's inability to die without it being something totally lame. But, for almost two solid hours, I was incredibly entertained, which is really all I can ask from a television show.

(Oh, by the way, the last two paragraphs definitely constitute spoilers, so if you haven't watched the season finale yet, you probably shouldn't have read them.)

Of course, this is always a bittersweet time of year for me. While the season finale of Lost was good, I will have to wait a long time before new episodes start airing again. The only finale I have left this season is The Sopranos, which I think will be good, but very bittersweet since it's not just a season finale, it's the series finale. Hopefully, David Chase and company will go out on a high note (and hopefully they will explain what happened to the Russian who escaped in "Pine Barrens" from season three, that loose end has been bothering me for years).

So, my season finale roller coaster ride has almost come to an end and it will be months before I find out if Future Jack shaves off his mountain man beard and if Jack Bauer is able to take down the zombie presidents. I'll try to stay optimistic about the future and I'll focus on the good times we've all had together - like when Desmond harpooned Mikhail in the chest. That was awesome.

Random Thought of the Week:
Did anyone else see the photos released this week of Heath Ledger in his Joker makeup? I'm not really sure what to think.

Joel Murphy is the creator of HoboTrashcan, which is probably why he has his own column. He also has some really hot friends. You can contact him at murphyslaw@hobotrashcan.com.